I'm over-reacting due to pain and I just need help to chill.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I am in a lot of pain (chronic stuff) and due to a treatment I'm on, it is worse right now (with the hopes that it will make things better). I am in so much pain that my muscles in my neck and shoulders are completely locked. I am having trouble driving because I can't look over my shoulder. (I use the mirrors and both kids to do the looking behind me and I'm only driving when I absolutely have to). I am sleeping so poorly because of the pain.

 

I have a quiet time in the afternoon. I have had this quiet time for the last 13 years. Both kids have never known a time when I did not have this quiet time. Both kids know that they had better not wake me if I'm sleeping during that time. If you wake me, even if I've only been asleep for 5 minutes, I cannot get back to sleep. I just can't. I was sleeping this afternoon. Ds12 came in to show me a lego creation. He woke me up. I swear I wanted to smash that thing I was so mad. I'm afraid that I was not nice. Now I'm in more pain because I'm stressed and I want to cry.

 

I just feel so badly that my kids have to watch out for a mom who has pain. And yet I'm also mad that my ds couldn't have had some empathy or at least a sense of self preservation so that he wouldn't have barged in and woken me.

Edited April 16, 2010 by Jean in Newcastle

[melissel]

I am in a lot of pain (chronic stuff) and due to a treatment I'm on, it is worse right now (with the hopes that it will make things better). I am in so much pain that my muscles in my neck and shoulders are completely locked. I am having trouble driving because I can't look over my shoulder. (I use the mirrors and both kids to do the looking behind me and I'm only driving when I absolutely have to). I am sleeping so poorly because of the pain.

 

I have a quiet time in the afternoon. I have had this quiet time for the last 13 years. Both kids have never known a time when I did not have this quiet time. Both kids know that they had better not wake me if I'm sleeping during that time. If you wake me, even if I've only been asleep for 5 minutes, I cannot get back to sleep. I just can't. I was sleeping this afternoon. Ds12 came in to show me a lego creation. He woke me up. I swear I wanted to smash that thing I was so mad. I'm afraid that I was not nice. Now I'm in more pain because I'm stressed and I want to cry.

 

I just feel so badly that my kids have to watch out for a mom who has pain. And yet I'm also mad that my ds couldn't have had some empathy or at least a sense of self preservation so that he wouldn't have barged in and woken me.

 

:grouphug: I'm really sorry. I'm foul when I'm awakened for "petty" things, and I'm not in any kind of chronic pain. Be gentle with yourself, and with him too, when you're ready.

[Liz CA]

Jean, as someone who used to have a fair amount of back pain and not be able to move much, I know the frustration that comes with being "disabled."

 

I would simply apologize to ds and also explain that you were looking forward to sleeping because of the pain.

 

He was likely sooo excited about his lego creation that he completely forgot about the rule or thought you are awake. Kids are impulsive. It's easy to forget when we are in so much pain that it is difficult to cross a room.

 

Your children will remember your ordeal but they will also have more empathy with people who are in pain. My ds - now 19 - remembers when "Mom could barely crawl," and that is a thing of the past now, mostly anyway.

 

I am praying that this treatment will significantly improve your condition!

 

:grouphug:

[Mommee & Baba]

:grouphug:I'm terribly sorry you're in so much pain.

 

I suffer from the "invisible" chronic pain and lupus along with epilepsy. So if you need a shoulder, I'm here!

 

I hope that you'll be able to sit down and have a little chat with your youngen as I'm sure he didn't mean to upset you but wanted to share in his excitment of a creation. I know it's hard at times to turn off the "I'm in pain" switch and turn the mommy dearest switch on without a moments notice, I've been there. So please know that it's ok to have those slip-ups and that's it's human.

 

I hope you're able to get some good rest this evening and if not tonight then maybe tomorrow afternoon will be more successful for you.

 

On a side note: My children are way younger than yours. However I've sat all of them down and told them about my pain and when I state I'm not feeling well and they ask what's wrong I go into as much appropriate detail I can and in the end they are much much more understanding at their ages! Maybe that'll be a talk you can have. :001_smile:

[Jean in Newcastle]

:grouphug: I'm really sorry. I'm foul when I'm awakened for "petty" things, and I'm not in any kind of chronic pain. Be gentle with yourself, and with him too, when you're ready.

 

We've both apologized to each other.

 

Jean, as someone who used to have a fair amount of back pain and not be able to move much, I know the frustration that comes with being "disabled."

 

I would simply apologize to ds and also explain that you were looking forward to sleeping because of the pain.

 

He was likely sooo excited about his lego creation that he completely forgot about the rule or thought you are awake. Kids are impulsive. It's easy to forget when we are in so much pain that it is difficult to cross a room.

 

Your children will remember your ordeal but they will also have more empathy with people who are in pain. My ds - now 19 - remembers when "Mom could barely crawl," and that is a thing of the past now, mostly anyway.

 

I am praying that this treatment will significantly improve your condition!

 

:grouphug:

 

Yes, he was very excited. He has now shown it to me and I've made all the proper admiring noises:)

 

:grouphug:I'm terribly sorry you're in so much pain.

 

I suffer from the "invisible" chronic pain and lupus along with epilepsy. So if you need a shoulder, I'm here!

 

I hope that you'll be able to sit down and have a little chat with your youngen as I'm sure he didn't mean to upset you but wanted to share in his excitment of a creation. I know it's hard at times to turn off the "I'm in pain" switch and turn the mommy dearest switch on without a moments notice, I've been there. So please know that it's ok to have those slip-ups and that's it's human.

 

I hope you're able to get some good rest this evening and if not tonight then maybe tomorrow afternoon will be more successful for you.

 

On a side note: My children are way younger than yours. However I've sat all of them down and told them about my pain and when I state I'm not feeling well and they ask what's wrong I go into as much appropriate detail I can and in the end they are much much more understanding at their ages! Maybe that'll be a talk you can have. :001_smile:

 

He knows way too much about my symptoms etc. I've been ill for over 20 years so that's been his whole life too. The thing is, it is the norm around here for me to be in pain. Most of the time, I block it out and try not to even bring it up, because I don't want that to be the center of our family interactions. He is one of the few (besides my husband) who knows when the pain is really bad, though.

[TravelingChris]

Why don't you go to a regular doctor and get help for your pain? I get bad neck and shoulder spasms and I use skelatin (Sp?). It doesn't put me to sleep like the old muscle relaxants but it does work after a while. I am also on pain medication roudn the clock to lessen problems and now have another medication that I can put on as a creme. I find that I can't be productive with bad pain. All these measures keep the pain from being too bad. Hope you get some help.

[Quickbeam]

Oh mama, that's rough. I can hardly imagine. You were already in it up to your ears and then it got worse. Sounds like you handled yoursel well under the circumstances. Be well:grouphug:.

[KidsHappen]

Oh Jean, you know I could have written that post. There have been times when kids have woken me for something frivolous and I literally started bawling. Then one time my youngest was worried about waking me up in the middle of the night because there was an ambulance at the elderly neighbor's house and of course, I felt bad about that. Today is a high pain day for me because of all the stress and I can't wait for hubby to get home so I can take a pain pill and a hot bath and then hopefully get some sleep. I wishing the same for you. :grouphug:

[Jean in Newcastle]

Why don't you go to a regular doctor and get help for your pain? I get bad neck and shoulder spasms and I use skelatin (Sp?). It doesn't put me to sleep like the old muscle relaxants but it does work after a while. I am also on pain medication roudn the clock to lessen problems and now have another medication that I can put on as a creme. I find that I can't be productive with bad pain. All these measures keep the pain from being too bad. Hope you get some help.

 

I've gone to a regular Dr. The medicine they put me on gave me heart problems. They took me off. The new medicines that have come out in the last couple of years have as their main side effects the very symptoms they are trying to treat. No one knows for sure the cause of my illness or indeed if there is only one cause. So regular medicine only treats the symptoms. My pain isn't touched by any OTC (or even narcotic) medicines that I've tried. I do have some relief with a capsicum cream. Thanks for reminding me of that. I'll go put it on!

 

I am going to a naturopathic Dr. because he is trying to find the cause behind the illness. He is treating one probable cause. I say probable because even with tests, he can't be 100% sure that it is the cause - in fact he told me that he suspects that even if we clear up this one problem there will still be symptoms remaining due to other causes. I knew going into this treatment that my symptoms would probably be exacerbated esp. at first. It still doesn't make it fun!

 

Thanks for the good wishes.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Oh Jean, you know I could have written that post. There have been times when kids have woken me for something frivolous and I literally started bawling. Then one time my youngest was worried about waking me up in the middle of the night because there was an ambulance at the elderly neighbor's house and of course, I felt bad about that. Today is a high pain day for me because of all the stress and I can't wait for hubby to get home so I can take a pain pill and a hot bath and then hopefully get some sleep. I wishing the same for you. :grouphug:

 

Yea, stress makes everything worse. . . Dh has been gone for the last few days. He gets back sometime tonight.

[Impish]

:grouphug: I totally get it.:grouphug:

[Brindee]

Jean,

 

:grouphug: I'm sorry! :grouphug: I'm praying for you!

[LibraryLover]

:grouphug:

[MariannNOVA]

Jean, I'm so sorry. :grouphug: and prayers.

[hillfarm]

There are mental health specialists who focus on helping people who are in chronic pain. Perhaps you could see if there are any in your area.

 

Re your son, it may be more of an age thing than lack of empathy or selfishness. My 11yo dd has lately seemed to be so self absorbed, I think it may be hormonal. She is usually a very kind, thoughtful girl. But here lately, she seems unable to remember that her priorities are not those of the rest of the world. HTH

[Needleroozer]

Hang in there, baby. I hear you, and am dealing with this too, right now. It can be so hard to be nice when in such pain. Hang in there, and know you are loved.

:grouphug::grouphug:

[Jean in Newcastle]

Hang in there, baby. I hear you, and am dealing with this too, right now. It can be so hard to be nice when in such pain. Hang in there, and know you are loved.

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

Thanks. Walkies, soon?

[Denisemomof4]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Are you off the 5-HTP? I heard that helped those suffering from fibromyalgia.

:grouphug:

 

Does soaking in a HOT tub help?

[Jean in Newcastle]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Are you off the 5-HTP? I heard that helped those suffering from fibromyalgia.

:grouphug:

 

Does soaking in a HOT tub help?

 

Still on 5-HTP. Hmm. A good soak sounds good.

 

I'm on a detox thing right now. It supposed to be a gentle one. But my body reacts to the toxins as they are being released into my bloodstream. I've supposed to get rid of it (by peeing it out) but even though I'm drinking like a fish (water!) my muscles react to the stuff. I think that as my body gets rid of more and more of the toxins that eventually I'll actually feel better and better. That's the idea anyway.

[Jean in Wisc]

Jean,

 

Just in case you've not tried this...

 

I get muscle spasms from dairy products. The last time someone "slipped" cheddar (my worst nightmare) into my salad, I couldn't crawl out of bed the next day. It took me years to figure out the relationship between dairy and the muscle spasm. I'm so sorry you are going through all this! My sister gets the same reactions with soy. :confused:

 

When I tangle with dairy and my muscles spasm so, I go to a woman who does trigger point massage therapy. The first few times, it was rather painful, but muscles have memory, and after a while, they learned to relax as soon as she started working with them. I went from not being able to turn my head more than an inch to the left to nearly-free movement. It use to take me weeks to get my muscles back to "normal" after eating something with dairy in it--now it is just a week or two.

 

There are different types of massage therapy. I like the trigger point--ymmv. I went every week for a while and then cut down to every other week. Soon it was once a month and whenever I needed it. It is not cheap ($55/hour), but it gives me my life back.

 

I have no idea what your problem is. Maybe massage would do nothing for you. All I know is that when I am in pain, I call Gwen and her magic fingers give me a world of relief.

 

(()) Hoping you find a cure that is as simple as mine.

 

Another Jean

[Jean in Newcastle]

Thanks, Jean. I am waiting for allergy testing results to come in.

 

I have a love - hate relationship with massage. On one hand it can help me, but on the other, it is really easy to injure me or to trigger my fibromyalgia. I used to have the best massage therapist! Of course, he had to go and move. . .:angry:

[cillakat]

n fact he told me that he suspects that even if we clear up this one problem there will still be symptoms remaining due to other causes.

 

And there is that tricky thing: it's easier to prevent something than treat something. Not saying you could or should have done anything to prevent what's happening now, just agreeing that yes, it's difficult to treat something even when you do know what it is, especially if it's been going on for a long time.

 

Consider this though:

You may be able to tolerate and benefit from allopathic medicines that were not previously tolerated because your system is stronger now from the nutritional/complementary approaches and vitamin D.

 

My own *teensy* example. I have some minor and some potentially not so minor heart issues. I need to take stimulant medications for ADHD. The stimulant medications made the palpitations severe to the point of being scary.

 

On the recommendation of very alternative hcp, I started taking sufficient/optimal/therapeutic doses of magnesium, taurine and fish oil - when I take those, I can tolerate the stimulant medications with no heart palpitations.

 

I'm certainly not recommending this for you or saying that it would work for you, but am saying that with all of the additional support your system is getting now, might it be possible that you could reap some of the benefits of allopathic medicine without the drawbacks?

 

Maybe a pain specialist? Neuro? Rheumatologist? I don't know what your specific issue is....just tossing out suggestions

 

{{{{{Jean}}}}}

 

Wishing you the very best,

 

Katherine

Edited April 18, 2010 by cillakat

[Jean in Newcastle]

And there is that tricky thing: it's easier to prevent something than treat something. Not saying you could or should have done anything to prevent what's happening now, just agreeing that yes, it's difficult to treat something even when you do know what they are, especially if it's been going on for a long time.

 

Consider this though:

You may be able to tolerate and benefit from allopathic medicines that were not previously tolerated because your system is stronger now from the nutritional/complementary approaches and vitamin D.

 

My own *teensy* example. I have some minor and some potentially not so minor heart issues. I need to take stimulant medications for ADHD. The stimulant medications made the palpitations severe to the point of being scary.

 

On the recommendation of very alternative hcp, I started taking sufficient/optimal/therapeutic doses of magnesium, taurine and fish oil - when I take those, I can tolerate the stimulant medications with no heart palpitations.

 

I'm certainly not recommending this for you or saying that it would work for you, but am saying that with all of the additional support your system is getting now, might it be possible that you could reap some of the benefits of allopathic medicine without the drawbacks?

 

Maybe a pain specialist? Neuro? Rheumatologist? I don't know what your specific issue is....just tossing out suggestions

 

{{{{{Jean}}}}}

 

Wishing you the very best,

 

Katherine

 

Thank you, Katherine. Allopathic Drs. can only treat my symptoms because no definitive cause is known. The Naturopathic Drs. I know suspect that there are a number of causes which cause the same collection of symptoms. So they are looking for those causes.

 

Actually today I'm doing much better. The reaction to the treatment seems to come in waves - perhaps when toxins build up too high? Then my body manages to get rid of them and I'm doing better? Just guessing here. . .

[Needleroozer]

Thanks. Walkies, soon?

I would love that! Not sure what your schedule is like.... I am back to 20 to 30 hours a week with my 18 yr old client until they move in June, but give me a call, maybe we can find a time we are both available. I miss walkies with you!

[Jean in Newcastle]

I would love that! Not sure what your schedule is like.... I am back to 20 to 30 hours a week with my 18 yr old client until they move in June, but give me a call, maybe we can find a time we are both available. I miss walkies with you!

 

We'll work something out. (I need a phone smilie!)

[Liz CA]

Epsom salt and baking soda in larger quantities are supposed to be a detox bath if you like to soak in the tub. Would it also help with the pain?

[TravelingChris]

Have you tried acupuncture? I am very conservative when it comes to alternative medicine but do believe that accupuncture does relieve a lot of pains. Why? Because cats and dogs who are in pain benefit from it and they can't possibly be having a placebo effect. I haven't used it yet since between my disease modifying medicines that help control the auto-immune response and all the previous pain and anti-spasm medicine I already wrote about in my previous post, I am getting fairly good pain control. But I know that if at some point those don't help enough, I will be going to an accupuncturist.

 

I am confused, though, about your post about causes of your disease. Do you mean you don't know what you have or are convinced that what you have been diagnosed with doesn't explain all your problems? Or do you mean that although you have a diagnosis, the doctors can't explain the root cause of the disease?

 

I know that with my diseases, while doctors know what is wrong and can explain the mechanisms of what is happening to some degree (my body's immune system is messed up and instead of attacking foreign bodies like bacteria is attacking parts of my own body), they really can't explain why anyone has an autoimmune system. They can't even explain why people have allergies. They know they do, they know that for some reason the body decides that something innocuous is a problem even though it shouldn't be and they know that the body readcts with histamine and sometimes other agents. But why? Who knows? There aren't any root causes to eliminate and can't be any until we have more science to figure out why the body is misfiring in this way. I think this is true for so many diseases.

 

So much is a mystery. FOr the longest time. ulcers were thought to be caused by nervous or overstressed personalities. Now we know that they are caused by H. Pylori and the cure is antibiotics. But even there is a mystery since about 20% of people have H. Pylori but many of them do not get an ulcer. What triggers the ulcer other than the bacteria? No one yet knows but they do know how to cure it.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Have you tried acupuncture? I am very conservative when it comes to alternative medicine but do believe that accupuncture does relieve a lot of pains. Why? Because cats and dogs who are in pain benefit from it and they can't possibly be having a placebo effect. I haven't used it yet since between my disease modifying medicines that help control the auto-immune response and all the previous pain and anti-spasm medicine I already wrote about in my previous post, I am getting fairly good pain control. But I know that if at some point those don't help enough, I will be going to an accupuncturist.

 

I am confused, though, about your post about causes of your disease. Do you mean you don't know what you have or are convinced that what you have been diagnosed with doesn't explain all your problems? Or do you mean that although you have a diagnosis, the doctors can't explain the root cause of the disease?

 

I know that with my diseases, while doctors know what is wrong and can explain the mechanisms of what is happening to some degree (my body's immune system is messed up and instead of attacking foreign bodies like bacteria is attacking parts of my own body), they really can't explain why anyone has an autoimmune system. They can't even explain why people have allergies. They know they do, they know that for some reason the body decides that something innocuous is a problem even though it shouldn't be and they know that the body readcts with histamine and sometimes other agents. But why? Who knows? There aren't any root causes to eliminate and can't be any until we have more science to figure out why the body is misfiring in this way. I think this is true for so many diseases.

 

So much is a mystery. FOr the longest time. ulcers were thought to be caused by nervous or overstressed personalities. Now we know that they are caused by H. Pylori and the cure is antibiotics. But even there is a mystery since about 20% of people have H. Pylori but many of them do not get an ulcer. What triggers the ulcer other than the bacteria? No one yet knows but they do know how to cure it.

 

I was diagnosed 17 years ago with fibromyalgia. Fibromyalgia is technically a syndrome (a collection of symptoms) and not a disease. They do not know what the root cause(s) are for fibromyalgia, though there are a couple of theories out there.

 

My pain right now is exacerbated because I am doing a two-month long gallbladder detox and anti-parasite detox as prescribed by my Dr. The pain could be due to toxins from the gallbladder detox or it could be from die-off of parasites as they are killed by the anti-parasitics. I was warned that I would probably have symptoms like this, and even worse. This isn't fun but I'm glad that I have not had the worst symptoms that they had described to me. For some odd reason I seem to have bad symptoms one day, some relief the next (but lots of running to the bathroom while I get rid of all the toxins), then a repeat of the pain etc. So I think I will mostly have to ride this out while the medicines prescribed to me do their stuff.

 

I do have an appt. with the Dr. soon as soon as all my latest blood tests etc. come in. I will talk to him then about my symptoms. He does do acupuncture treatments. I'll talk to him about that too.

[momof2jb]

So sorry about your pain! Kids are resilient and will forget about it in no time. Ask forgiveness and then forget about it - don't dwell. My children have also grown up with my cancer/chronic fatigue wreaking havoc on our lives. They know that when mom isn't feeling good to just stay away and let me sleep. Occassionally, I get mad and yell but they know that I love them and I appologize.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Thank you, Serena. This thread was from a couple of days ago and we have made up since then:) Dh has come home too so not everything is on me as far as interacting with the kids. That helps too!

[Chris in VA]

You are just on my heart this morning, Jean. :grouphug: and prayers.

 

I had no idea some of my favorite posters here on WTM deal with chronic pain. God's blessings on all of you. I'm such a wimp, I get a hangnail and can't function. Y'all are a miracle to me. Grace and peace to all of you.

[Jean in Newcastle]

You are just on my heart this morning, Jean. :grouphug: and prayers.

 

I had no idea some of my favorite posters here on WTM deal with chronic pain. God's blessings on all of you. I'm such a wimp, I get a hangnail and can't function. Y'all are a miracle to me. Grace and peace to all of you.

 

Thank you. :blushing: (I'm a wimp with hangnails too. . .)

 

Today I'm wimping out a bit and I'm going to make the kids do the laundry etc. instead of school. Normally I manage somehow through the day but I have the energy of a wet noodle right now. Just walking down the hall to go to the bathroom seems to require too much energy! (Typng doesn't - that's why I'm here. . .) My dd is very high energy if I don't have her focused on something, she goes crazy.