Dd10 is having huge doubts about Christianity-need resources please!

[PeterPan]

Happy, I know this is frightening for you, but I wouldn't think of it so linearly. Faith is not some act that they do and seal the deal. There's persistence to it, the "perserverance of the saints". She had childlike faith when she was 3, which is WONDERFUL. She has questions when she is 10, which are NORMAL. You can have faith and ask those questions too btw. Ester Marie, brave soul, was right when she pointed out that the faith of a 3 yo and the faith of a logic stage pre-teen are on totally different planes. She has to come to that for herself. Some people do that and realize their childlike faith confession (and even baptism) as a young child doesn't match up with the strong feelings they have in young adulthood and they want to be rebaptized (like I did). Some children have a continuing faith all those years and just move on. If I could suggest, I think a larger percentage (just throwing out from my experiences over the years) end up being baptized again. The friends I had in college who made professions young and didn't feel the need to be rebaptized were few and far between, where I knew MANY people who felt the need to be baptized again and proclaim their faith. So I would be open to that. She could be seeing things anew or need to sort all this out for herself. The problems with her health may have given her time to think or left her with unresolved quandries (why it happened, etc.). Let the process all unfold and talk with her. It will be fine!

 

Just for a chuckle, I had friends in college who had been christians (by repentance, faith, baptism, and evidence in life) for years and years and years who sat under a particularly powerful preacher and STILL came away feeling like they needed to go repent and be baptized again! LOL Truly, it takes years and years of growing, living, experiencing, and building faith before most people move on from the basics and grow very confident. I wouldn't be afraid of that. That's why there's the old adage to write it down in your Bible when you come to a pivotal point, so you can lay down a point of remembrance and start moving on. I wouldn't do that with a 3 yo, but I'd certainly do that with a 10-12 yo who comes to you with professions or decisions.

 

BTW, many christian cultures won't even baptize before 10-12 because of this huge change children go through.

[AuntieM]

I have not read all the replies, but I would like to make a book recommendation, first for you then to pass along to your daughter.

 

How to be Your Own Selfish Pig by Susan Schaeffer MacAuley. This book deals with questioning God. It's a natural phase of the Christian life and, IMO, is not allowed enough room in our current American church culture. In many ways it is taboo to ask tough and honest questions.

 

God is big enough, and true enough, to stand up to her questioning.

[Mergath]

You are welcome to have an opinion, but it's not going to be the same as mine. I can see why it's not offensive to you - that's all I was saying. You don't believe it, so there is nothing be take offense to. Just like I wouldn't find it offensive to call Siddhārtha's teachings silly or something like that. Or if I said no importance should be placed on those teachings. That wouldn't bother me, but it could bother someone else.

 

You are welcome to have and express your opinion, but it's not the same as someone who is a Christian. Does that make sense?

 

The fact that you claim to "have been" a Christian is just further evidence that you don't understand Christian beliefs.

(Not said to be snarky or unkind - just pointing out that's all.)

 

I believe that all faiths are valid, that God just wants you to have faith in something that works for you and isn't so picky as to the particulars. So it's not that I don't believe Christianity so much as it just isn't my path.

 

All that being a Christian means is to be Christ-like. So really, who are you to judge whether or not I am enough of a Christian to understand it? The whole idea of being "saved" only came about in the last couple hundred years. It's not exactly canonical to the beginning of time, and is not the defining characteristic of what makes a Christian.

[Tea Time]

She is very advanced, and is asking a lot that I didn't expect yet! She accepted Christ at age 3, and is now asking questions like, "What if I'm not really a Christian, What if it's all just stories, How do we know our religion is the right one, What if there is no Heaven?", etc. She is not just asking questions, she is really experiencing angst over this.

 

It is such a glorious opportunity though! And I told her it is very normal to have all these questions, and finding the answers will help build her faith, and that is a necessary process that most people go through. The communication is thankfully wide open and we talk and talk and talk. I read Scriptures with her to try to help. (We have always read the Bible together, etc.) But I feel like I am reinventing the wheel-any suggestions for resources to help answer this type of questions? HELP! :tongue_smilie:

 

It sounds like your dd has the best resource of all, a loving mother! Keep up the good work.

[Karis]

She is very advanced, and is asking a lot that I didn't expect yet! She accepted Christ at age 3, and is now asking questions like, "What if I'm not really a Christian, What if it's all just stories, How do we know our religion is the right one, What if there is no Heaven?", etc. She is not just asking questions, she is really experiencing angst over this.

 

It is such a glorious opportunity though! And I told her it is very normal to have all these questions, and finding the answers will help build her faith, and that is a necessary process that most people go through. The communication is thankfully wide open and we talk and talk and talk. I read Scriptures with her to try to help. (We have always read the Bible together, etc.) But I feel like I am reinventing the wheel-any suggestions for resources to help answer this type of questions? HELP! :tongue_smilie:

 

 

maybe she just needs her faith to be "real." Not a bunch of easily debunked stories. If church teaches stories but everything else is taught as fact... her questioning is understandable

 

Answers in Genesis is a good resource.

 

10 is too early IMO to introduce other religions unless you're doing study on comparative religions.

[choirfarm]

You might check out the Bible in Sonlight Core 7. They have a book called, do all religions lead to God. Lots of the books are good. WE didn't do the core, just the Bible. My son went through a phase where he soaked all of that up. He is a math/science guy and wanted to think logically. He loves TOG's rhetoric level worldview as well. It REALLY REALKY makes you think about why you believe what you believe and put biblical facts to it.

 

I'm sorry, I'm conservative Christian and have accepted Christ, but our pastor refuses to baptize children that young for precisely that reason. With all elementary children he must conference them and make sure they completely understand what they are doing and not just "parrot" what the parents say. My daughter was baptized at 6 and it was amazing to watch him interact with her to make sure she understood the concepts. Some people have gotten mad at our church because he won't present them to the church until he has this discussion. He equates being baptized to wearing a wedding ring. Wearing the wedding ring doesn't make you married and you can certainly be married without one. (You can be a Christian without baptism.) But it is an outward sign that lets others know of your commitment. He also talked to her about sin and had her explain what it was in her own words with no prompting and what Christ was and why she wanted to be baptized. She kept looking at me, but we both told her it didn't matter what "I" thought and that there wasn't a wrong answer. What did she honestly think?

 

Christine

[Tracy in Ky]

maybe she just needs her faith to be "real." Not a bunch of easily debunked stories. If church teaches stories but everything else is taught as fact... her questioning is understandable

 

Answers in Genesis is a good resource.

 

 

 

:iagree:

[ScoutTN]

A good book is Paul Little's Know Why You Believe, published by IVP. Perhaps for you to read and discuss together. I've found music or movies to be great springboards for worldview discussion too.

 

Two good books for you might be Age of Opportunity by Paul Tripp and Spiritual Birthline by Stephen Smallman.

 

 

You are so right in that this is a great opportunity! And that it is common for churched/covenant children both to make early professions of faith and to need to confirm that as their intellect, will and emotions mature.

 

Be honest and real and trust God.

Phillippians 1:6

John 10:27-30

[Jugglin'5]

 

The whole idea of being "saved" only came about in the last couple hundred years. It's not exactly canonical to the beginning of time, and is not the defining characteristic of what makes a Christian.

 

Leaving aside the "defining characteristic of a Christian", all you have to do is look up "salvation" in a concordance or on Bible Gateway to see that you are mistaken.

[Sherri in MI]

I have not read all the replies, but I would like to make a book recommendation, first for you then to pass along to your daughter.

 

How to be Your Own Selfish Pig by Susan Schaeffer MacAuley. This book deals with questioning God. It's a natural phase of the Christian life and, IMO, is not allowed enough room in our current American church culture. In many ways it is taboo to ask tough and honest questions.

 

God is big enough, and true enough, to stand up to her questioning.

 

Auntie M, I was going to recommend the same book, but was reading all the posts first!

 

To the OP: the title doesn't give you a picture of the book. I believe the target audience was college students, but as an adult I found it very helpful. I believe the main premise is that Christianity makes sense. That if you follow certain beliefs through to their logical conclusion, they don't hold water. She draws upon conversations w/ students and even shares a time when her sister was going through doubts as a child and how her parents handled it. I highly recommend it!

[dallas12]

Below are some great websites that can help. Have her spend a lot of time on these.

http://www.reasonablefaith.org/

http://www.bethinking.org/

http://www.str.org/

http://apologetics315.blogspot.com/

http://www.gotquestions.org/

http://www.4truth.net/

http://www.probe.org/

http://www.allaboutgod.com/

http://www.carm.org/

http://www.pleaseconvinceme.com/

[mrbmom77]

[bold emphasis mine]

Sigh. Alright then.

 

Two questions and I'm flying off of this topic, promise.

 

1) What exactly was offensive in my post? Was it the wording used (claiming the importance attributed to professions of faith made by toddlers silly), or the idea expressed (that toddlers cannot make meaningful professions of faith)?

If I simply offered an apology to those of you who found themselves offended, it would be somehow dishonest as I honestly still don't see anything scientifically wrong, morally objectionable or linguistically offensive in anything I wrote. If meantime I do realize you are being right, I'll address that, but now I'd really appreciate if somebody took time and explained to me what was offensive and why. :confused:

2) Regarding the bold part, I have a whole set of questions. Anyone willing to answer (we can make a S/O thread, or do it via PMs so as not to chat this thread)?

 

FWIW, I am (quite conservative) Christian and I did not find it offensive at all.

 

Edited to avoid offending others.

 

Prayers to the OP and your daughter.

Edited August 13, 2010 by mrbmom77

[SproutMamaK]

Oh look, a horse! Is it dead? Must have been from old age. I shall refrain from beating it (just this once). ;)

[dallas12]

I am heavily involved in Christian apologetics and would love to help...feel free to message me...blessings!

[Starr]

This is an old thread.

[....]

I'm not sure what denomination you are...but will your daughter be taking confirmation classes later? I would hold off with this until then... They're so young at that age. They barely have a grasp on the world outside of the home, I'm sure God completely understands.

 

I also recommend reading about the lives of the Saints (not the sports team) - my son has this huge fixation with St. Christopher. :tongue_smilie: My 8 yro and 7 yro both have an ICB (International Children's Bible) - it's the complete Bible written at a 3rd grade reading level. It's pretty incredible. Maybe she could read through Matthew. I think someone else suggested John.

 

Don't worry. :)

[....]

Is this another Zombie thread? Back from the dead and roaming the Earth? I see it's from April! :auto:

[ktgrok]

Mere Christianity, read a chapter at a time, outloud to her. The first few chapters make the case for a God, in a way that DOESN'T include relying on scripture. The problem with reading scripture to her is that, if she doesn't believe they are true, then relying on them to prove things to her won't work. Answering "how do I know the Bible is true" with "because the Bible says so" isn't real convincing. I don't think she is too young to understand Mere Christianity if you help, and it really looks at the human experience in order to prove its point. I found it amazing.

[SailorMom]

Mere Christianity, read a chapter at a time, outloud to her. The first few chapters make the case for a God, in a way that DOESN'T include relying on scripture. The problem with reading scripture to her is that, if she doesn't believe they are true, then relying on them to prove things to her won't work. Answering "how do I know the Bible is true" with "because the Bible says so" isn't real convincing. I don't think she is too young to understand Mere Christianity if you help, and it really looks at the human experience in order to prove its point. I found it amazing.

 

While the OP has alrady listed the books she has choosen for her daughter - this thread may come in handy for someone else.... I am not Christinan, but have studied religions, grew up Christian, and have a Methodosit pastor for a MIL.... Great conversations there. I have some insight that some may not like - but I think might be important for any one who is really analytical, or thinks scientifically.

 

I agree with the above post re: reading C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity and The Great Divorce.

She's young, so you'd probably have to do a lot of explaining. But they are truly some of the best arguments for Christianity I have ever read. He almost had me converted back :)

 

I don't think it is ever too early to be exposed to different religions in the context of cultures (since many are tied to that anyway).

 

 

Here's the part many here won't like. Lee Strobel is horrible. Yes, there - I said it out loud. Read both of his most popular apologetics books - and for someone who thinks circular arguments DON'T prove anything they were rather worthless. IMHO,the books are only for people who are already convinced about Christianity. Well - I mean - we all have differently wired brains - none better than any other - and perhaps this is just the way my brain is wired. I was still seeking at the time, and his arguments were weak logically, and and did nothing but maybe confirm my belief that Christianity was not for me.

 

So - for parents of seekers - go with C.S. Lewis.

 

Anyway - to the OP - I hope your daughter finds peace.

Edited August 15, 2010 by SailorMom

[Annabel Lee]

Good thread, even if it is old. For anyone looking for more suggestions, I recommend the movies "Finger of God" and "Furious Love" for seeing God really move in current times.

 

Having my own experiences w/ God that are undeniably real are worth more than the highest pile of the best books to convince me. He reveals Himself.

[mrbmom77]

Is this another Zombie thread? Back from the dead and roaming the Earth? I see it's from April! :auto:

 

One of these days, I will learn to check the dates before responding. :glare:

[hsmom3tn]

Good thread, even if it is old.

 

:iagree:

 

And April was not really that long ago. I'm glad it resurfaced, as I missed it when it was "new"; and I have lately been in need of suggestions such as these.