Is my daughter the only one who hates wearing bras?

[Love2Smile]

I know this sounds trivial, but it has really been bothering me. My 15 yr. old dd hates wearing bras. I don't make her when we are at home, but when we leave the house she must. She whines, complains and fights me about it. She wears these tight tank tops instead some of the time.

The thing is she has to. she's a 36D!

 

Do other teenage girls act like this???

[Aubrey]

Remember the 60s?

:leaving:

[Anstar]

I know a few adults who hate to wear them, and choose not to.

 

As a 34DD myself, I can tell you that nothing short of an $80 bra is comfortable. Just sayin'.

[Love2Smile]

LOL! I know I know, but it's just the principle of the thing. I have actually read that not wearing bras is healthier.

[Tangerine]

It might make you feel squeamish, but I think it's pretty cool that she's comfortable that way. I guess what I'm saying is, I'd be more comfortable with a daughter who insisted on being comfortable, and not complying with societal standards for how her books should look, rather than being interested in making them perky and appealing. I was a large breasted girl, and my life's work was to drape them in loose clothing so as to hide in an ocean of fabric. Is she uncomfortable with her size?

[LauraGB]

My dd resisted for a while, too. I think it's the constraint issue. Sport bras, specifically the ones by Danskin, have been big winners here. It's funny because lately (ok, since the dog ate all her other sports bras), she seems to have taken a liking to the undewire ones more so than than soft "underwire" ones. But, she will still take a sports bra anyday. She says it feels like she's just wearing a tank.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I'm with Aubrey. My husband's MIL kept INSISTING that my dd 'needed' to wear a bra.

 

I finally said, "WHY?!?! Why do you think that she NEEDS to wear a bra?" She replied, "because you can tell that she has breasts!" I said,"well, she DOES have breasts and wearing a bra isn't really going to hide that fact!"

 

I let dd decide if she was going to wear them or not. I DID tell her that if she played sports she would have to wear one, but other than that? It's HER body, I wasn't comfortable telling her what she HAS to do with it. (However,....I should probably explain that dd is EXTREMELY modest of her own accord and is very uncomfortable with anything showing anywhere. I often joke that she would probably be more comfortable in a burqua.)

 

Just my two cents. Maybe if you made it a non-issue she would come around to your way of thinking on her own?

[Crimson Wife]

I was like that as a teen until I discovered supportive underwire-free bras. I own a few specialty underwire bras and hate wearing them because they're so uncomfortable. :glare:

 

My favorite is the Bali Double Support Wirefree

[Love2Smile]

It might make you feel squeamish, but I think it's pretty cool that she's comfortable that way. I guess what I'm saying is, I'd be more comfortable with a daughter who insisted on being comfortable, and not complying with societal standards for how her books should look, rather than being interested in making them perky and appealing. I was a large breasted girl, and my life's work was to drape them in loose clothing so as to hide in an ocean of fabric. Is she uncomfortable with her size?

My daughter is not your typical teenage girl. Not into fashion or anything. She wears her hair in a pony tail and no makeup. Dresses very consevatively. Likes baggy clothes. I almost wish she was MORE into her appearance. But I guess as long as she is clean and happy that is all that matters! She does not like her boobs though, too big!

[Daisy]

My daughter is only 10yo and technically doesn't need one unless she is wearing those rayon dresses or a thin t-shirt. She also HATES them, but hates tank tops under clothing even more so a sports bra appears to be the only alternative right now. She has always been sensitive about clothing (socks rubbing, too tight sleeves, jeans bugging her, etc.) so I think this is just more of the same.

 

I have said many times that all women everywhere hate bras and it is just something we must do in order to be modest. No different than a slip (which I know is also out of fashion but we've always worn one so she understands that).

 

BTW, while I mentioned it was getting "time" to buy one, I waited until she showed interest before going down that road.

[Tangerine]

I finally said, "WHY?!?! Why do you think that she NEEDS to wear a bra?" She replied, "because you can tell that she has breasts!"

 

:lol: No! The horror.

[LauraGB]

No different than a slip (which I know is also out of fashion but we've always worn one so she understands that).

 

Huh? Out of fashion? Rockin'! No one told me!

(I'm off to throw all my old, stretched-out-held-together-with-safety-pins-super-staticky-no-matter-what slips away...)

[katemary63]

I hate bras with a passion that would rival any. I have overly sensitive...um....senses. I can't get used to the feeling of the bra touching my skin. I FEEL it...ALL.DAY.LONG. It is annoying beyond description. I have to spend a zillion dollars on bras that are less bothersome, but I still hate them. I also hate shoes or anything that is to....much pressure on my skin. I can't even where layers, because the second layer makes the first layer touch my skin too much. I just wear loose, thin cotton shirts. In the winter, I'm miserable. I hate sweaters, pullovers, coats. I am ALWAYS uncomfortable. Cotton is the only fabric I feel comfortable in. Don't even get me started on polyester. I feel like I'm wearing a plastic bag.

 

Gosh...did I just type all that that fast? I guess I hate them even more then I thought! Anyway, all that to say, for me, it's a sensory issue. I can't change how they FEEL to me and nothing makes it better. I'm 47 years old. I've never gotten used to it. Obviously, I wear them in public, but when I hit the door, off they come!

[Daisy]

Huh? Out of fashion? Rockin'! No one told me!

(I'm off to throw all my old, stretched-out-held-together-with-safety-pins-super-staticky-no-matter-what slips away...)

 

LOL. The college and under crowd don't even know what a slip is half the time. Crazy. I was raised that you were not dressed if you didn't have on a slip! I had a full slip, a half slip, a shirt liner..... Now I can rarely even find them for young girls.

[catalinakel]

I hate bras and only wear them when absolutely necessary, like usually when I am out in public. I am never comfortable in a bra, somewhat less uncomfortable in a cotton bra, and Never ever comfortable in a synthetic one. I hate them. With a passion.

[Sputterduck]

At that size she is going to sag if she doesn't. I am G-H but for years I was a DDD. My mom always understood that I needed very nice bras to fit right and support right. She has DDDs, so she understood.

 

At 29, after pregnancy and 2 years of breastfeeding the books are still pointing forward, but I guarantee you they'd have gone south like so many other large sets of books without a bra. Books that heavy just pull on the tissues that are supporting them too much.

 

The only bras that work for me are 80+ dollars. Expensive, yes, but worth it. And I am a major major penny pincher.

[Peela]

I'm not small (C cup), and I hate to wear a bra. In winter,with a layer or two of clothing, I can usually get away with not wearing one, particularly if I wear a tight fitting singlet or supportive top. In summer, I wear one when I go out- I really don't like people looking at my chest rather than my face- but I love summer dresses that have support so that I dont have to wear a bra as well.

I absolutely refuse to wear underwire bras. Evil things. I bought one last year- $70 mind you, properly fitted, and it took to age 42 to do it- and I wore it once. Recently I ripped the wire out, but I still havent worn it. I dont care if my booKs reach my knees, I am not going to wear something that makes me uncomfortable. The same as I refuse, absolutely, to wear high heels or anything on my feet that is remotely uncomfortable. I do NOT compromise on comfort and ease when it comes to dressing my body- and I still like looking good!

 

My dd15 on the other hand, loves her bras, and loves those fancy push up ones. She also loves her stillettos and has a huge uncomfortable shoe collection. Must be her father's genes, honestly.

:lol:

[Love2Smile]

Thanks for your replies. FWIW I hate wearing bras too. I don't wear them in the house. can't stand them, but I do think it's necessary for her to wear them when she goes to Church, volunteers etc..

 

I guess I just wanted reassurance that we are not the only women who hate wearing them! LOL

 

She also says they kill her, hurt her, bug her etc...she hates the feeling of them so maybe she is sensitive to them some how!

[chadzwife]

Waaaal, u can tell her that she can look like a granny far b4 her time, if she insists on not wearing support. Gravity works any time she's upright. And esp at that size, she's gonna be very sry by 25 i bet. I had my first baby b4 19yo and nursed him on demand. I am NOT big. But by 6mos old I had shed the bras as it was just easier to nurse by lifting up the shirt. Had the next baby 2 yrs later, did same thing. Probably shed the bras earlier in the nursing period tho lol. By 23 I was nothing but sag. Very sad. I wish I had been warned.

Now at the advanced age I'm at---well lets say its truly humiliating to be this small and still be this yucky-looking nekkid. No nude beaches fer me! :o

[Love2Smile]

So do most of you wear bras in the house or have your dd's do the same?

 

I could not stand wearing one at home. Just wondering. I understand the sagging issue etc...but how can you wear one all.the.time??

[chadzwife]

Also, you can wear (thin, rayon/polyester, underwear type) camisoles under shirts when needed. I used them for working in a white uniform w/o a bra and they worked fine....but then again I'm small...

[dangermom]

Here's the thing. When I was 16 I knew a girl my own age who had never worn a bra, and who was well-endowed. It was not pretty. She was already sagging badly--I have nursed two babies and I'm 36 (and a D cup) and I don't look like that yet.

 

Good support is important for us larger girls. I'm just sayin'.

[Love2Smile]

Also, you can wear (thin, rayon/polyester, underwear type) camisoles under shirts when needed. I used them for working in a white uniform w/o a bra and they worked fine....but then again I'm small...

This is what she prefers to do. They are the tight, thin ones you mention above, got them at Costco!

[Love2Smile]

Here's the thing. When I was 16 I knew a girl my own age who had never worn a bra, and who was well-endowed. It was not pretty. She was already sagging badly--I have nursed two babies and I'm 36 (and a D cup) and I don't look like that yet.

 

Good support is important for us larger girls. I'm just sayin'.

So you suggest her wearing one all the time, even at home? I'm just wondering because now I am concerned about the sagging issues. She would never go for wearing one at home however, and well, we are mainly at "home" LOL

[chadzwife]

My friend would sleeeep in hers if her husband would let her. She finds it much more comfortable to be supported than not...she's pretty big.

I have another friend who really does sleep in hers, but she's a very large woman besides big-chested and wears TWO bras most times as one doesn't do it.

Tru Dat, I swear!

lil ole me not even a Bcup with lots of BIG-chested friends, i always thot it was funny...another friend had both hers removed and did chemo for breast cancer. She was relieved to get them gone after many yrs of BFing many kids and having them in the way. I just shook my head, could not relate except those 1st painful wks **engorged** with each of my babies.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I can't remember where I've read it, but I have read it in numerous written works that breasts sag due to genetics, not support or lack thereof.

 

 

I'll see if I can find a link or two....not making any promises.

 

In the meantime? I'm taking this bra off!

 

 

:auto:

[Love2Smile]

I can't remember where I've read it, but I have read it in numerous written works that breasts sag due to genetics, not support or lack thereof.

 

 

I'll see if I can find a link or two....not making any promises.

 

In the meantime? I'm taking this bra off!

 

 

:auto:

Well I didn't want to get too TMI, but I am a 40DD and have had 2 kids and mine don't sag...I have had friends ask me if I have had a lift. And I haven't.

My mom in her 80's has had 5 kids, breast fed them all, and limited "sagging" going on. So that is why the sagging issue never came into my mind. thanks for saying this, i'll have to investigate this issue, since I am awake and had too much coffee today!

[joannqn]

I hate bras with a passion that would rival any. I have overly sensitive...um....senses. I can't get used to the feeling of the bra touching my skin. I FEEL it...ALL.DAY.LONG. It is annoying beyond description. I have to spend a zillion dollars on bras that are less bothersome, but I still hate them. I also hate shoes or anything that is to....much pressure on my skin. I can't even where layers, because the second layer makes the first layer touch my skin too much. I just wear loose, thin cotton shirts. In the winter, I'm miserable. I hate sweaters, pullovers, coats. I am ALWAYS uncomfortable. Cotton is the only fabric I feel comfortable in. Don't even get me started on polyester. I feel like I'm wearing a plastic bag.

 

Gosh...did I just type all that that fast? I guess I hate them even more then I thought! Anyway, all that to say, for me, it's a sensory issue. I can't change how they FEEL to me and nothing makes it better. I'm 47 years old. I've never gotten used to it. Obviously, I wear them in public, but when I hit the door, off they come!

:iagree:

 

I'm currently a 36G. I hate bras but I feel I look better wearing one and my clothes fit better. At home, I often don't wear one.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Well I didn't want to get too TMI, but I am a 40DD and have had 2 kids and mine don't sag...I have had friends ask me if I have had a lift. And I haven't.

My mom in her 80's has had 5 kids, breast fed them all, and limited "sagging" going on. So that is why the sagging issue never came into my mind. thanks for saying this, i'll have to investigate this issue, since I am awake and had too much coffee today!

 

 

I'm about your size and have NEVER been asked if I've 'had a lift' if ykwim.

 

I'm jealous!

 

Here is a link I found. It's from an anti-bra site, but cites a 1991 Japanese study. It was interesting reading, even if it's not terribly scientific:

 

 

http://www.antibra.com/bra_sagging.php

[Love2Smile]

:iagree:

 

I'm currently a 36G. I hate bras but I feel I look better wearing one and my clothes fit better. At home, I often don't wear one.

G??? I didn't know it went that far in the alphabet!

I admit, I hate wearing bras at home and it is the first thing I take off when i come home!

[Sputterduck]

So you suggest her wearing one all the time, even at home? I'm just wondering because now I am concerned about the sagging issues. She would never go for wearing one at home however, and well, we are mainly at "home" LOL

 

 

What I was told by bra experts is that I should wear one all day and wear one with no underwire at night. They do squish pretty badly under me at night if I don't, and a bra keeps them nice and round. Mind you, I'm very large. When I do wear one at night for awhile, I do notice a difference in how much they hang. So I really, really *should* wear one at night as is suggested, but I often don't.

 

If she does any damage now, there really isn't any going back later. This is a permanent decision.

[Crimson Wife]

Ever since I nursed my 2nd, I find it more comfortable to wear a sleep bra at night.

[Love2Smile]

What I was told by bra experts is that I should wear one all day and wear one with no underwire at night. They do squish pretty badly under me at night if I don't, and a bra keeps them nice and round. Mind you, I'm very large. When I do wear one at night for awhile, I do notice a difference in how much they hang. So I really, really *should* wear one at night as is suggested, but I often don't.

 

If she does any damage now, there really isn't any going back later. This is a permanent decision.

maybe the bra "experts" are just trying to sell bras??? LOL

[Crimson Wife]

G??? I didn't know it went that far in the alphabet!

 

When I lived in MA, I used to shop at a boutique that sold up to M. Can you imagine? :svengo:

[Love2Smile]

When I lived in MA, I used to shop at a boutique that sold up to M. Can you imagine? :svengo:

Dang! No, I cannot imagine! LMBO!

[Sputterduck]

maybe the bra "experts" are just trying to sell bras??? LOL

 

I'm a G or H. I'm fighting a battle with gravity here. And winning... so far...

[Lara in Colo]

Every time I don't wear one at home, someone comes over or I have to chase a dog down the street (ouch!!!). I wear one all day long every day. Mine are big, they are not as perky as when I was younger. You can tell your daughter she can hold 'em up now or tuck 'em in later. I cannot stand being in front of someone w/out a bra, I fell like there is a sign that points and blinks "LOOK HERE". I don't wear one to bed, but if I don't wear a top, I have those walking around naked and nobody seems to notice dreams!!

 

Lara

[Love2Smile]

I'm a G or H. I'm fighting a battle with gravity here. And winning... so far...

Maybe if we all just lay down all day long we wont have to worry about the sagging! I'm getting loopy tonight!

[joannqn]

G??? I didn't know it went that far in the alphabet!

I admit, I hate wearing bras at home and it is the first thing I take off when i come home!

 

 

And higher. But you have to buy them in a specialty store or online. They don't sell them in the regular stores.

 

I've actually gone down a cup size recently. I haven't been below an F in over 10 years, since before my first pregnancy. I now think of my old D and DD size as small, though I didn't at the time.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

I have one on most of the time, but it is undone in the back, and just hanging there loose, most of the time. If I go out, I buckle it. If I'm anywhere comfortable, or have on a bulky sweater, I reach up and unbuckle it again. :)

[Love2Smile]

I have one on most of the time, but it is undone in the back, and just hanging there loose, most of the time. If I go out, I buckle it. If I'm anywhere comfortable, or have on a bulky sweater, I reach up and unbuckle it again. :)

Great idea!

[Anstar]

I wear one all the time, even at home. Sure I'd love not to... But my clothes never fit right if I don't. I may even consider getting a sleep bra. My whole family's a saggy bunch, including me at 26!

[dangermom]

So you suggest her wearing one all the time, even at home? I'm just wondering because now I am concerned about the sagging issues. She would never go for wearing one at home however, and well, we are mainly at "home" LOL

Well, I don't wear them at night, but otherwise yes, I wear one all day.

[Aubrey]

I'm with Aubrey. My husband's MIL kept INSISTING that my dd 'needed' to wear a bra.

 

I finally said, "WHY?!?! Why do you think that she NEEDS to wear a bra?" She replied, "because you can tell that she has breasts!" I said,"well, she DOES have breasts and wearing a bra isn't really going to hide that fact!"

 

I let dd decide if she was going to wear them or not. I DID tell her that if she played sports she would have to wear one, but other than that? It's HER body, I wasn't comfortable telling her what she HAS to do with it. (However,....I should probably explain that dd is EXTREMELY modest of her own accord and is very uncomfortable with anything showing anywhere. I often joke that she would probably be more comfortable in a burqua.)

 

Just my two cents. Maybe if you made it a non-issue she would come around to your way of thinking on her own?

 

Wait--I never said I was *against* it! LOL--just pointing out that we've got a history of people preferring not to wear them.

 

Me? I just realized that after 4 babies I'm still an A. So I bought miracle shelving recently, & for the first time in nearly 10 yrs, my booKs show up a second before my belly. Oh happy day! I get up, apply the miracle, & would you believe? When my booKs show up, the rest of me follows. I've been SO productive. Um...in the organizational, educational sense. :001_huh:

 

:leaving:

[Peela]

I am personally not convinced about the sagging issues. If you wear a bra, you are not toning or training the muscles and fibres that do support you. You do their job for them with a bra. So then when you don't wear a bra...flopsies.

I am a C cup and at 42 not doing too badly at all- definitely not pointing downwards yet! And I never wear a bra when I dont feel I need to- at least half the year. As a teen, I was a rebel and never wore a bra. My aunt told me I would get breast cancer if I didnt- I was smart enough to know she didnt know what she was talking about. And I have seen plenty of articles over the years to suggest you are more likely to get breast cancer if you do wear a restrictive bra because of the blockage of lymph drainage.

 

How does anyone really know if their booKs went south quicker because they didn't habitually support them ? it may seem "obvious" but I am not convinced because of my own experience.

And really, I would certainly sacrifice perkey booKs if it meant being comfortable versus being uncomfortable every. single. day. Really- the things we do for vanity!

 

Now, I do undnerstand the comfort issue for those more well endowed, and that's a personal issue. I have a cousin who has told me more than once, Never, Ever wish for big booKs.

[katemary63]

I am personally not convinced about the sagging issues. If you wear a bra, you are not toning or training the muscles and fibres that do support you. You do their job for them with a bra. So then when you don't wear a bra...flopsies.

 

Sagging has little to do with muscles and a lot to do with a loss of elasticity in the skin that is accelerated by gravity. TRUST ME! :D

[Melissa in Australia]

LOL. The college and under crowd don't even know what a slip is half the time. Crazy. .

 

you should come to Australia. people still wear them here. They just don't put a dress over the top. they actually think the slip IS THE DRESS.:lol:

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

Like the Seinfield episode, my "girls" need "homes." They go every which way when I let them out and I need to keep them off my rib cage (lift and separate!) or I get a rash. I sleep in a tight camisole with a shelf bra.

 

I guess I read too many National Geographic magazines when I was a kid :eek:, cause there was never a time I was willing to go bra less for the sake of comfort.

[Melissa in Australia]

I guess I read too many National Geographic magazines when I was a kid :eek:' date=' cause there was never a time I was willing to go bra less for the sake of comfort.[/quote']

 

I must have read those same magazines. even though I am so flat chested that the bra really doesn't do anything. I wear one. I have been terrified all my life of having my breasts hanging down to my knees!

[Lizzie in Ma]

Sadly my 13 year old is a double D already and we have a miserable time both finding decent bras that work with her other medical condition, (pressure uticaria). We are already talking reduction.