Children traumatized by the stomach flu? Is this nuts?

[msjones]

My 8 year-old son had the stomach flu back in early March. He was pretty sick -- vomiting every 20 minutes or so for about 12 hours. He was then your basic sick kid for a few days before recovering. I was with him the whole time he was sick, pouring on the TLC like any mom does when her child is miserable.

 

Recently, he complains that he feels like he's going to throw up -- often. He cries and describes a lump in his throat and complains of feeling sick in general. He cries and says he can't eat -- he's afraid he'll throw up. He acts quite defeated, saying he can't stop thinking about it, it was the worst thing that ever happened to him, it came so unexpectedly, he wanted to die, he thought he'd never be the same, etc.

 

We don't know how to help him. We've tried compassionate listening, helping him find ways to stay busy and think of other things, and sometimes we just acknowledge his feelings and carry on. He seems truly afraid of being sick again -- not just attention seeking. He's not typically a crier or complainer. He's a happy, hoppity-skippety, sun-shiney kind of kid.

 

Anyone been there done that? Suggestions? I am at a loss for what to do.

[Mergath]

Wow. That must have been one heck of a stomach flu. I've had some doozies myself though, so I can understand where he's coming from.

 

Have you tried to explain the biological aspects of vomiting to him? Why the body does it, exactly what's happening, etc.? Kids are often most afraid of the unknown, so if he has a better idea what's going on, maybe he won't be so scared of it happening again.

[melissel]

Poor kid, and poor mom :grouphug: My DD7 is moderately emetophobic, and talked for a good long time about a few bouts with stomach bugs she had a few years ago. She wasn't crying or weepy about it, but if she started to feel queasy or nauseous at all, she'd start to panic or cry about possibly vomiting. That went on for awhile, and we also processed it a lot even on non-queasy days. She still gets upset when she thinks she or anyone else might vomit, and if she IS sick enough to have to throw up, it's like the world is ending--the moaning and the panic and the "NONONONONONONO!!!!".

 

So, given my experience with my DD7, I'd say your son's emotions over it--especially since it's a pretty recent thing--aren't completely outside the normal range (though it's probably very frustrating). Give him some time and help him to keep working through it. I'm sure he won't be traumatized for life.

[Tangerine]

That sounds just awful for him. Had it been a long time since he had been ill? Too long to clearly remember it? Maybe he just didn't understand what was happening at the time. Maybe he thought he was sicker (like long-term) than he was. I can see how that could be really scary for a little one.

[Tree House Academy]

Poor fella!

 

I would tell him the truth - that he will vomit again at some point...and he will get better again too. Tell him that you have had the same stomach flu and you are okay...and he is too. I am not sure how much it will help, but it seems to really have scared him.

 

When my older son was about 2, we had a horrible hail storm. It was in the middle of the night, and it was so bad that we got him up and all went into the hallway to get away from the windows. For my ex-husband and I, it was a PITA (two BRAND NEW cars and no garage in a horrible hail storm = BAD). For my son, it was something that turned into a horrible fear that every thunder storm would turn into a hail storm; that he would be sleeping and hail would bust his window and shower him in glass; etc. Then he realized that hail can be the precursor to a tornado and he lived in great fear of tornados until he was about 8. Finally, he just "got over it" and moved one. It was a tough 6 years though! I feel ya! and I definitely feel sorry for your little guy. :(

[msjones]

That sounds just awful for him. Had it been a long time since he had been ill? Too long to clearly remember it? Maybe he just didn't understand what was happening at the time. Maybe he thought he was sicker (like long-term) than he was. I can see how that could be really scary for a little one.

 

He had never been sick before -- other than colds. But your reply has me thinking...I'm not really the psychoanalytic type, but...

 

We have two friends whose very young children had cancer. They were sick at the same time and the boys with cancer were actually cousins. :( One of the little boys died after suffering through very aggressive treatment. The other survived and has been doing okay, but still has lots of medical issues. We see that family many times a week -- they are some of our closest friends.

 

The little boy who we see frequently had very persistent vomiting during his treatment. I wonder if there is any connection with my son's anxiety. It hadn't occurred to me. Also, my son's grandpa died the day before he got sick. Maybe he has all that stress and worry all piled up in his memories of being sick? :confused:

 

Now I feel even worse for being impatient about all of this.

[kalanamak]

Could he have some rawness in his widdle trout ("little throat")? Does mylanta make him feel better? Sometime rawness there turns into a viscous cycle, and "lump in the throat" can be part of the sensation.

[msjones]

Poor fella!

 

I would tell him the truth - that he will vomit again at some point...and he will get better again too. Tell him that you have had the same stomach flu and you are okay...and he is too. I am not sure how much it will help, but it seems to really have scared him.

 

When my older son was about 2, we had a horrible hail storm. It was in the middle of the night, and it was so bad that we got him up and all went into the hallway to get away from the windows. For my ex-husband and I, it was a PITA (two BRAND NEW cars and no garage in a horrible hail storm = BAD). For my son, it was something that turned into a horrible fear that every thunder storm would turn into a hail storm; that he would be sleeping and hail would bust his window and shower him in glass; etc. Then he realized that hail can be the precursor to a tornado and he lived in great fear of tornados until he was about 8. Finally, he just "got over it" and moved one. It was a tough 6 years though! I feel ya! and I definitely feel sorry for your little guy. :(

 

Oddly enough, this same son of mine has the identical fear of storms that your son had. We dealt with it just this past week as two huge spring storms blew through our area.

 

We did have some good talks about the facts of the stomach flu. That seemed to help for a while. We got some good library books about it and everything. But, it seems like we're going down a new road of worry. It's just about time for me to go kiss him goodnight, and I'm sure we'll be talking about it, so we'll see how it goes!

[msjones]

Could he have some rawness in his widdle trout ("little throat")? Does mylanta make him feel better? Sometime rawness there turns into a viscous cycle, and "lump in the throat" can be part of the sensation.

 

Good idea. I'll ask him and will consider the mylanta.

[Amy in TX]

After a particularly awful stomach flu while we were on vacation (she started vomiting in a rental car halfway through a six-hour drive!), she had lingering fear. For months after, she would randomly imagine that she was feeling queasy, and start crying, afraid she was going to throw up again.

 

She was afraid to go to school; afraid to eat lunch at school (we weren't homeschooling yet).

 

I sometimes went to school at lunchtime and ate lunch with her. I encouraged her to pray when she was feeling scared (we're Muslim). I reminded her that feeling scared can *cause* the queasy feeling, and that she would not throw up from that.

 

The episodes of fear just became less frequent over time, and eventually stopped.

 

She's still somewhat emetophobic (she's 15 now), and I don't know whether it's because of the traumatic experience, or whether she inherited the phobia from me--I've always been very phobic about it. Both, probably.

 

Anyway, I don't think your son is nuts at all. For some of us, vomiting is really traumatic. I would try to give him plenty of comfort and reassurance, and at the same time maintain a matter-of-fact attitude. It will probably take time for him to get over this.

 

:grouphug:

 

Amy

[jenniferlee]

When my middle daughter was about 6 she had a really bad sore throat for a while and couldn't really swallow anything - she was pretty sick. Well, she got over it, but then a couple of weeks later she started saying that her throat was sore again and she couldn't eat - felt like she would gag, etc. It wasn't all the time, but at most meals. I checked her throat and it looked totally fine and she didn't have any other symptoms. Anyway, it went on for quite a while and I finally took her to the Dr. They checked her out, did a culture etc. and pronounced her fine. Told her "you are totally fine, you can eat whatever you want". We went home and she was fine after that. The Dr. did say that kids will often do that sort of thing - almost make a physical manifestation of something that is bothering them in their mind. And something about having a "medical professional" tell her that she was fine seemed to help a lot.

Anyway, just our experience if it helps at all.

 

Jen

[jenn-]

One of my sons is a hypochondriac when it comes to vomiting. It gets really bad when he has recently had a stomach bug. He can carry a bucket "just in case" for weeks. One thing that has helped us is to have chewable children's Pepto Bismal around the house. When he gets really worked up about his stomach, I just give him one. I figure if it is a little upset, it will help it, if not, it won't hurt him. Now don't think I give them out like candy, but on rare occasion it seems to work for him.

[mcconnellboys]

I'm sorry! I have a son who has some obsessive/compulsive tendencies and he's done things similar to this in past. In fact, he's even made himself throw up before. Perhaps it might help to talk to him about how it made him feel when he was sick, explain that this sort of thing hardly ever happens, and that he might need to "reset" his thoughts so that he doesn't dwell on that and actually make himself sick through his thoughts. You might explain to him how powerful our mind can be, etc.

[Tiramisu]

I realize a lot of the other posters are focusing on the trauma your ds might be experiencing. I'd just like to say there may really be a physical side of this. When my dd 14 was six she had a super-duper stomach virus. It was bad. I got it, too. Another adult friend got it and lost something like 20 pounds. Well, that dd was not quite right for months afterward. She would often feel sick whenever we sat down to eat and would feel sick after eating. At the time, we were dealing with the stress of an international move, so I attributed a lot of what was going on to emotional stuff. Fastforward about five years, dd#3 at about 5 got a knock-out stomach virus and suffered the same symptoms afterward. She had so much discomfort we would up at the pediatricians and the emergency room--and this was after the virus was gone! In dealing with her stuggles, I learned viruses can sometimes really cause digestive changes. My dd became lactose intolerant for a long time, and suffered unnecessarily because it took us so long to figure it out. Two other friends have had children who had the same problem. Also, another friend, whose child also suffered a lot, finally ended up at a Children's Hospital where they determined that the daughter could not digest fats as a result of a stomach virus. Things eventually normalized but it took awhile. Anyway, don't discount the physical side of things. I'm very sympathetic. I ended up with a stomach virus this time last year that left my digestive system a wreck for months. In my case stopping dairy helped, but I had to be very careful with spicy, fatty and raw food, too. In following dietary guidelines for IBS suffers, from a website that I can't remember, I got through it. Try doing a search for "trigger food list" and see if you can find a website by someone named Heather and take a look at the list. Perhaps there is something there that can help your ds like it helped me.

 

All the best,

 

Kelli

[EKS]

You know, I would think that vomiting every 20 minutes for 12 hours would be fairly traumatic for anyone. If it was his first time with a stomach ailment, I would think it would be even worse.

 

I would tell him that having stomach issues for most people is a very rare occurrence, for example he went for 8 years without every having trouble. However, it is also very likely that he will throw up again sometime in the future.

 

If he doesn't calm down about it within a month or so, I would have him seen by someone, either your pediatrician or a counselor.

[KristenS]

Several years back, at the beginning of my dealing with my panic disorder, but before we knew that's what it was ... I spent MONTHS throwing up multiple times a day. I swear, every doctor visit started with them asking me if I was pregnant, which I wasn't (yet). In my case, it wasn't a stomach flu, but the first (and horrible) symptoms of my panic attacks. It was so bad, some weeks I just slept on the floor of the bathroom for ease of access to the facilities. I to this day have a horrid fear of nausea and throwing up, though in my case it's only been in the last couple years that the nonstop nausea actually eased up some.

 

It was very traumatic, and it also left a host of physical problems in its wake ... I am picky with my diet a lot because I don't want anything that'll taste nasty coming back up, stuff like that. I hope your son doesn't get to quite that point, but it would certainly be understandable if he did!

 

Perhaps, if he's not comfortable eating full meals, he can eat smaller but more frequent meals, as long as he gets in the foods you deem important ... maybe that compromise would help ease him back into digestive comfort? I know smaller meals are easier for me, and sometimes hunger can trigger nausea too, so not going so long as to get hungry also helps. (Think morning sickness ... eating a cracker or two every now and then helped keep some of it at bay, and also you always knew when you'd hit your absolute can't-eat limit ... something like that.)

 

Also possible reflux issues might have arisen, and it's worth checking out ... I shudder to think what damage might have been done to my poor innards.

 

Anyway, for both medical and psychological purposes, a visit to his doctor might reassure him. Maybe?

[ereks mom]

He had a severe case of test anxiety -- irrationally feared that if he did poorly that it would be a bad reflection on me and we wouldn't be able to homeschool anymore, etc. This started a few weeks before the test and went on for a couple of MONTHS afterward! He finally was able to get over it, but for awhile, he was really traumatized about that test! The next year, and for several years afterward, he took the ITBS again, but never again did he react so negatively to the test. I say all this to suggest that maybe your ds was simply traumatized by having had the stomach bug, and that the lingering queasiness isn't physical, but psychological, as ER's was.

[swellmomma]

Poor guy. I can see why he would be traumatized by it. I had a horrid stomach flu in the first trimester of my pregnancy with dd2. So combined with the severe morning sickness I was already facing it was bad. I needed to go to the hospital twice in 1 week to be rehydrated due to it and was on anti-emetics for most of the pregnancy after that. I do nothave a phobia of vomitting or anything but just thinking back to that time makes me nauseous all over again. In addition to the actual nastiness of vomiting, there was the pain in the throat from the bile, the pain in teh stomach and the back from the muscles heaving, the smell ick. All of that really sets it into your mind way more than a just a typical case of stomach flu.

 

I would acknowledge to him that it was horrible, that you hate it when you vomit too, that his feelings/sensations on the topic are real and understood. And like others said I would let him know that at some point in his life he will likely vomit again and it will suck but he will be okay just like he was on this time. If he is really worried about the food he eats I would keep him on a simple but healthy diet for a while until he sees that he will not vomit from those foods and that he can swallow, and then slowly add to it.

[Laurie4b]

I'd say that yes--it does sound like he was traumatized. So treat it as if you would any other traumatic event. I would take him to his ped. to make sure there are no lingering physical issues causing the symptoms. Your ped might also have some ideas of how to help him with the trauma part.

 

Though it sounds contrary, having him draw pictures about what it was like (I assume he doesn't like to write yet) can be helpful. He can draw and then talk about it. For older people, writing helps lower the trauma quite a bit. You could ask him to do it 3-4 days in a row and see if that helps. (But go to the ped first.)

[hellooooooo]

Something similar happened to me. I’m 13 years old now but when I was 7 years old I had a really bad stomach virus and would throw up everything I would eat. I also had to go in the ambulance because they thought I had appendicitis but it was just a case of a bad stomach flu. I was literally never the same after that. I would always feel like i was gonna throw up and would always feel nauseous even when I was all better and wasn’t sick anymore. It stuck with me forever. I would always ask my parents “ Am I gonna throw up” constantly because I would get so panicky even if I got a slight stomach ache. My parents took me to a Gastroenterologist because I would say I felt nauseous and stomach aches all the time. After multiple tests It said I didn’t have anything in my stomach. One doctor told me I was faking it and asking for attention. I LITERALLY WASNT. I genuinely felt like I was gonna throw up all the time every. single. day. My parents eventually took me to a psychologist because they thought it was all in my head. My psychologist diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder and somatic symptom disorder. I did therapies for a little bit but it just didn’t help the nausea I would always have and anxiety I would get. Now i’m on an anxiety medication because I would have super bad anxiety of throwing up anywhere and also would hate going on vacations because I would feel like I was gonna throw up. I also lost a lot of weight once in a vacation in mexico because I couldn’t eat because I was super nauseous. So I hope these anxiety meds that I’m taking will help me stop overthinking everything and stop making myself feel physically sick. And I know this post was from a long time ago but how is your son doing now? 

[hellooooooo]

3 minutes ago, hellooooooo said:

Something similar happened to me. I’m 13 years old now but when I was 7 years old I had a really bad stomach virus and would throw up everything I would eat. I also had to go in the ambulance because they thought I had appendicitis but it was just a case of a bad stomach flu. I was literally never the same after that. I would always feel like i was gonna throw up and would always feel nauseous even when I was all better and wasn’t sick anymore. It stuck with me forever. I would always ask my parents “ Am I gonna throw up” constantly because I would get so panicky even if I got a slight stomach ache. My parents took me to a Gastroenterologist because I would say I felt nauseous and stomach aches all the time. After multiple tests It said I didn’t have anything in my stomach. One doctor told me I was faking it and asking for attention. I LITERALLY WASNT. I genuinely felt like I was gonna throw up all the time every. single. day. My parents eventually took me to a psychologist because they thought it was all in my head. My psychologist diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder and somatic symptom disorder. I did therapies for a little bit but it just didn’t help the nausea I would always have and anxiety I would get. Now i’m on an anxiety medication because I would have super bad anxiety of throwing up anywhere and also would hate going on vacations because I would feel like I was gonna throw up. I also lost a lot of weight once in a vacation in mexico because I couldn’t eat because I was super nauseous. So I hope these anxiety meds that I’m taking will help me stop overthinking everything and stop making myself feel physically sick. And I know this post was from a long time ago but how is your son doing now? 

and it also made me extremely depressed because I would always cry and say “why did it have to be me to get sick” “ I wish I could die”. “My life would’ve been normal if I never got sick.” Getting sick with the stomach flu genuinely ruined my life. I was a perfectly happy stress free little girl before all of that. Never had any anxiety before. So yep, that experience really changed me but now i’m trying to think positive and now I know that it really is all in my head. 

[Lori D.]

Another ancient post as a resurrected zombie thread by a new poster... 😉

🧟‍♂️

[4atHome]

How do they find these?? I hate when I spend all the time reading .  Now my advice is irrelevant.... Give the kid ice cream!  And I wonder how it all worked out.

[Kassia]

deleted - didn't realize it was a zombie thread!

Edited February 11, 2021 by Kassia