Need advice on leaving a church

[HeatherM2]

I have been a member of a certain denomination my entire life. The church we are in now is what I consider to be one of the better ones for this denomination. Meaning we can plainly see that their number one concern is spreading the gospel. However, I don’t like going to church. I love worshipping the Lord and truly enjoy studying His word. I love teaching my children about God everyday not only through scripture, but by how we treat others. I enjoy Christian fellowship. So what is my problem? Church makes me feel like a failure. The constant guilt trips that they lay on the members are more than I can handle. And heaven forbid you don’t agree with them on something. I know I’m not the only one feeling this way because I can see how members don’t seem happy in their walk with the Lord, yet no one wants to talk about it for fear of being judged. After years of feeling defeated I finally realized the Lord is calling me to live free in Him. That I need to trust God fully even when I study something in scripture that doesn’t match up to what I’ve been taught all my life. That most of the guilt all these years was from man and his traditions, not the Holy Spirit. That I need to actively call on God each day to see what He would have me do. That Jesus died for all my sins and they are all forgiven.

 

I know that there is no perfect church. That being said my husband and I really want to find a church that teaches the Bible and encourages Christians. We believe we will have to step out of our current denomination. This will not go over well with most of our family or friends. We have no plans of leaving our church until we find another one, but we will have to miss some services while we search for another church. I’m not sure how much information we should tell everyone? Trust me if you’re not in this church every time the doors are open then in their eyes you are backslidden. They will ask why we weren’t in church and I won‘t lie, but I also don‘t want to stir trouble prematurely. So if you have been in my position could you please share your experience? What you learned? What you would have done differently?

[jenL]

Wow... :grouphug:

 

I'm not sure if I can offer any advice, but I want you to know I'm going to pray for you.

 

I left my denomination and strayed away from any church at all for years. When I returned to church it was steps away from my original denomination (although still Christian). I'm happier now than I've ever been. My family was surprisingly supportive, but I believe it's because I had been away from anything God-related for so long. They were just happy I was back at *a* church even if it wasn't the religion in which I was raised.

 

I hope you are able to find peace with this as it sounds like your current church is suffocating your faith. :grouphug:

[lionfamily1999]

I found that one of the best times to scout churches was either Sunday night, or their Bible study nights. Those days/times are easy to skip at your regular church (ime) and you also get to know the core members of the church you're visiting. Also, Bible Study, ime, tends to be when the gloves come off, so to speak.

 

I'm sorry you're going through this.

[Nakia]

Hi Heather. We went through this same thing several months and here is the thread I posted asking for advice. We did tell a few close friends that we were visiting other churches right away, and my husband called the pastor, who did not take it well at all. It wasn't a very pleasant experience, but I am glad we did it that way. We have now decided to join the church we have been going to. Previously we had talked about calling the pastor of our former church to let him know, but I don't think my husband wants to, and I am leaving that up to him.

 

Blessings as you look for another church. We feel strongly that God led us right to where we are now. :grouphug:

[Guest janainaz]

We left the church a long time ago. When you feel that stirring that you are not in the right place, you have to go with it. I think pastors need to hear exactly what is going on in the members of their congregation. When you feel guilt-ladden and you don't feel freer after being in church, you're in the wrong place.

 

I've been away from anything church-related for a while. We tried a small group - big disappointment. I do miss very much having a group of people to fellowship with, but my dh and I are still looking. A big thing for me is what a church really believes about God - who is He? If he's an angry monster, I'm not interested and I don't want that being taught to my kids. I want a church that represents God as a very loving father. Period. I've yet to find a church like that where I live. There was one in CA (Newsong). I loved it. It had it's flaws, but it was still fantastic. Nothing compares - still searching here.

 

I'd be honest with the pastor and start searching for somewhere new. I will say that if there is not an outpouring of love and support (phone calls, emails, letters, etc.) - it was not a REAL church to begin with. The people there should notice you are missing and actually care and not for gossip reasons.

[*********]

Homechurch! Really! Start a homechurch. Fellowship at home. Live, be, do, the church.

 

That's what we do.

 

And Keep praying. :)

[Cedarmom]

We ended up leaving the church first, and then looking for another church. WHen we tried to do it by just missing a service, there were too many questions. There really was no way to do it delicately. We just said that God had called us to do something else, and we were leaving the church. Of course, since wehadn't picked a church people thought for sure we were just going to drop out. We thanked them for their concern, and encouraged them to pray for us. We ended up housechurching with other families.

[HeatherM2]

I'm truly thankful for a place to discuss this issue and be treated kindly.

 

Nakia, thank you for the link to your thread. I read through all the replies. I do agree with speaking to our pastor before we leave. We are just not ready to do that yet. I chuckled when I read that you just walked out of a church. We've been there. The pastor at the first church my husband and I attended after we married was so off his rocker that it was just best to leave. We did not discuss why we were leaving with any of the members because we didn't want to stir any trouble. Although after we left we privately called and tried to explain it to a few members that we thought we were close to. Then when we saw them out in our community, they literally shunned us. Turned their backs and refused to talk to us. That church even refused to send our letter transfer to our next church in the same denomination.

 

The church we are at now is a lot better. The people are nice and not as legalistic as other churches of the same denomination. We're just finding that we disagree more and more on their doctrines. We are finding that we need to correct what our children are being taught. However, it will be hard to leave. We have made friends there. Not to mention our pastor’s wife is our daughter’s piano teacher and we love her. So I'm hoping it all goes better then when we left our first church.

 

We have discussed a home church. I wish we knew of one in our area. I'm not sure we are ready to start one ourselves, but it may come to that. It's something we will keep praying about.

Thank you all! :grouphug:

[jenn1129]

This will not go over well with most of our family or friends.QUOTE]

 

 

I just wanted to tell you what happened when we left the denomination we had grown up in. My grandma was absolutely certain we would go to hell for leaving. lol She has gotten better after having MANY talks with her clergy, but I still don't thikn she is convinced.

 

The best reaction was from my BIL who actually said and I quote, " you never asked us if it was okay to leave". Excuse me? I was upset at first but now it gives me a chuckle.

 

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that there may be some bad reactions at first but most of your family will come around. Maybe they won't understand your reasons for leaving, but they love you!

[Brigitte]

Heather,

 

I hope that in time you will find the direction that you and your family need to take. I was away from any form of religion for about 30 years. When we made our last move, I had decided to start attending chuch so that my girls would have some sort of religious education and be able to decide for themselves whether to accept or reject religion (I did not feel I was a good parent making that decision for them by not exposing them). We ended up joining our local Catholic Church (I was baptised Catholic) despite dh being raised at a Lutheran preacher kid. Our family made that decision together after attending services for a short while.

 

I was just discussing religion with dh with regards to Haiti and we somehow happened upon the subject of Christian guilt. I remembered reading your post and read it to him. After he immediately said you need to explore the Catholic Church. He finds it uplifting and no guilt. I can't really adequately explain what he feels about it. Just know that he has a long experience with a Protestant denomination and spent many years not believing before "becoming" Catholic ( he has yet to convert since he worries that it would crush his father).

 

Anyway, I suggest researching (reading and attending services) other denominations of the Christian faith. I believe that one will speak to you and your dh. It might take time, or it might become clear very quickly, like it did us, where you belong.

 

As for your current church, I would make the transition quietly at this point. However, you might discuss your concerns with your pastor. He might be able to clarify things for you.

 

Regardless, I wish you peace.

 

Brigitte

[LittleIzumi]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I hope you can find a place where you can feel God's love without feeling miserable!!!

 

 

A big thing for me is what a church really believes about God - who is He? If he's an angry monster, I'm not interested and I don't want that being taught to my kids. I want a church that represents God as a very loving father. Period. I've yet to find a church like that where I live.

 

Really?? I know my church does (LDS) and I'm surprised you haven't found any others around you. Maybe I haven't toured enough churches. :grouphug:

[jade]

Finding the right church home can be very difficult. This is something I struggled with for a long time. We're finally in a church where we're pretty happy. It's a church I never thought I would go in -- I thought it was too big, too cliquish and we would be out our league. Turns out these are some of the friendliest church people in town and very Christian.

 

I would take time looking for another church. Perhaps your kids can go to kids' activities at churches with their friends. Try out others' Vacation Bible School programs. Your current church friends probably won't question that and other churches will be welcoming. Check out websites of local churches --look for pastor's sermons, newsletters and calendars. Go to church sales, fundraisers, pancake/chili dinners, etc. Some churches have sports programs (Upward sports). Lent and special services are great times to get a feel of other places. Pick up as much info as you can at the churches. They will give you a sense of what they are like.

 

In a friendly way, ask people about their church -- what's good, what's difficult. You could see this as a positive way to talk about the Christian faith you share.

 

There's good advice here about what to say to your current church members when they ask. My sense is that if you're nervous about talking with your pastor about the problems you're experiencing then he (assuming he) may not be as understanding about your criticism and concerns. My general experience is that if you're already feeling a guilt-trip, the pastor will probably guilt you even more and you don't need that. It may be better to go to the pastor with a specific problem that could be solvable, rather than a generic 'we're upset.' Or go when you're ready to leave.

 

In the end, my feeling is that your Christian journey is with God, not a group of people in one congregation, and that may take you on a path that's not with this church.

 

Good luck!

[Guest janainaz]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I hope you can find a place where you can feel God's love without feeling miserable!!!

 

 

 

 

Really?? I know my church does (LDS) and I'm surprised you haven't found any others around you. Maybe I haven't toured enough churches. :grouphug:

 

Most of what I've found is manipulation. I can't even get into it because it's beating a dead horse. I don't like the new church movements, I don't like the old-school churches. I don't fit in either. I just want some normal people who are trying to get through life, willing to be open and honest, willing to be humble. I'd like to be able to discuss ANY question I have about the Bible without being looked at like a rebel. I'd like to not be told that I need corporate worship to be acceptable to God and I'd like to not be manipulated into tithing. Here I go....

 

It's a frustrating topic for me and I REALLY need to stop responding to anything church related on the board. :glare:

[Dina in Oklahoma]

Hello Heather ~

 

I think you have come to an important crossroad -- the difference between faith and religon. Keep your focus on God not on pleasing others in your life. Take a close look at scripture, many times God had his people walk away from family or associations; Abraham for example.

 

We left our church over a year ago, got away from The Lord, and recently have been homechurching. It has been an important growth step for us but we are now feeling led to find where God wants us to be so we can connect and fellowship with others.

 

Best Wishes and God Bless,

 

Dina :001_smile:

[ElizabethB]

Listen to online mp3s of services. Churches that look interesting but don't have mp3s online, call and see if you can get a CD of a service or two and a statement of their beliefs.

 

We've been several different denominations and also non-denominational, we look for a Biblically sound church that is spirit filled. Good music that fits our tastes is a bonus, but not required, we've gone for off-key hymns at a good church vs. good music at a church with not as sound Biblical preaching.

 

In one location where we knew we would be there only a year, we were shocked to find ourselves joining a mega-church of a denomination we would not normally consider. Our neighbors asked us to go with them. We humored them to be polite (we really liked them) "knowing" that we would not stay. Ha! It was a great church, and it was nice that it was so big--it's a bit tough to get really involved in a small church if you're only going to be there a year. We probably won't join a mega-church again, but it was a good fit for that year.

 

Edit: if you want to talk about specific denominations or you live anywhere we have lived or visit regularly since we're become Christians (Montgomery, AL; Little Rock, AR; LA, CA; Dayton, OH; Seattle, WA; Boise, ID; Fairfax, VA), let me know. Since we move so often, we've become professional "church shoppers" as part of the moving process.

Edited January 19, 2010 by ElizabethB

[Beth in OH]

Start a homechurch. Fellowship at home. Live, be, do, the church. ... And Keep praying. :)

 

I attend a church that welcomes 6000 worshippers every weekend. The church began 25 years ago with four couples meeting in homes, because they needed a new way to worship God and live out their lives for Jesus. Little did they know that they were planting a church that would offer lots of people the same thing they desired--Jesus.

 

Follow your call.

 

Beth

[Joanne]

I have recently left my lifelong denomination. It's been unsettling. The denomination I left is a different flavor than the one you describe and our reasons for leaving are different. We weren't leaving denominations specifically but seeking a better match for the needs of the children's peer needs and their and DH's worship style preferences.

 

While it's been a bit scary, it's also been exciting. I've enjoyed being challenged to listen to a new message, a new perspective, to break out of the ritual I was so comfortable with.

 

I'd like to gently encourage you to maybe read up on control in churches. The level of......judgment? control? that might be present in your church home seems to be too much. I don't think that is how the organized body of Christ is supposed to function. If you've been in a broken system for a period of time, it's common to not know how broken it is.

[Mama Bear]

Most of what I've found is manipulation. I can't even get into it because it's beating a dead horse. I don't like the new church movements, I don't like the old-school churches. I don't fit in either. I just want some normal people who are trying to get through life, willing to be open and honest, willing to be humble. I'd like to be able to discuss ANY question I have about the Bible without being looked at like a rebel. I'd like to not be told that I need corporate worship to be acceptable to God and I'd like to not be manipulated into tithing. Here I go....

 

It's a frustrating topic for me and I REALLY need to stop responding to anything church related on the board. :glare:

 

Jana -- have you read anything about spiritual abuse? There's one title I'd recommend, but the name escapes me just now, of course. :tongue_smilie: Sounds like you've had some over the top experiences which, in case you had any doubt, are not supposed to be part of the Christian experience.

 

Amazing how easily humanity can mess up God's design, yes?

 

:grouphug:

[Joanne]

Jana -- have you read anything about spiritual abuse? There's one title I'd recommend, but the name escapes me just now, of course. :tongue_smilie: Sounds like you've had some over the top experiences which, in case you had any doubt, are not supposed to be part of the Christian experience.

 

Amazing how easily humanity can mess up God's design, yes?

 

:grouphug:

 

Is it the Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by Jeff VanVonderan?

 

That's the one I'm thinking of.

[LittleIzumi]

Most of what I've found is manipulation. I can't even get into it because it's beating a dead horse. I don't like the new church movements, I don't like the old-school churches. I don't fit in either. I just want some normal people who are trying to get through life, willing to be open and honest, willing to be humble. I'd like to be able to discuss ANY question I have about the Bible without being looked at like a rebel. I'd like to not be told that I need corporate worship to be acceptable to God and I'd like to not be manipulated into tithing. Here I go....

 

It's a frustrating topic for me and I REALLY need to stop responding to anything church related on the board. :glare:

 

:grouphug::grouphug: I ask weird scriptural questions too :lol: but I usually get an answer. Haven't been manipulated yet, either, but mine is a unique religion :). I really hope that book the PP suggested can help. I can't imagine churches being so hurtful that I would be driven away entirely--that sounds horrible! We're supposed to love, not drive everyone away who isn't exactly what we want or in exactly the same place we are. :grouphug::grouphug:

[Mama Bear]

I think that's it, Joanne. It's been a long time, though.

[MamaSheep]

Heather, my heart goes out to you. That is a tough place to be in for sure. I hope you find a good solution for your family. :grouphug: God loves you and will guide you in your search if you lean on Him, and the rest will sort itself out over time one way or another. I know my dh's family and friends were quite troubled when he left his church for a new one (a long time ago, before we were married). Most of them have been able to come to terms with it over the years, though some did withdraw more than others, and it has been interesting to watch the relationships play out as they have. I have heard him say many times that the change was vastly worthwhile in his life in spite of the upheavals that resulted, and that he feels so much closer to Christ, and so much more peace in his new faith than he did in the one he came from, or in the others he checked out over the years. He says that what he gained through the process vastly outweighs anything that was lost. I have been grateful for his spiritual strength in our home, and I am convinced that a large part of it comes from his searching and questioning and his willingness to do what he knew God wanted him to do even if other people...objected.

 

I know you will find comfort and peace as you follow where God leads you as well, though it may take a while for the storm to calm.

[MamaSheep]

:grouphug: I hope you can find a place where you can feel God's love without feeling miserable!!!

 

Really?? I know my church does (LDS) and I'm surprised you haven't found any others around you. Maybe I haven't toured enough churches. :grouphug:

 

:grouphug: I ask weird scriptural questions too :lol: but I usually get an answer. Haven't been manipulated yet, either but mine is a unique religion :). I really hope that book the PP suggested can help. I can't imagine churches being so hurtful that I would be driven away entirely--that sounds horrible! We're supposed to love, not drive everyone away who isn't exactly what we want or in exactly the same place we are. :grouphug:

 

I was thinking a lot of these same things as I read through this thread. I've never felt manipulated either (at church I mean...school and jobs, yes...ugh!), , and the idea of being "manipulated" at church just really makes me feel a little ill. And just this past week in R.S. we had a really good discussion about what it means that God is truly a loving Father and how that knowledge affects the way we approach daily life. I have always felt free to ask the hard questions, and have been able to find satisfactory answers to mine thus far through one source or another, though some of them have taken more time, study, and prayer than others. I also love that when I have moved, I haven't had to "shop" for a church, and that when we travel we have a place to worship if we're away from home on a Sunday and it will still be the same, because the different wards are not different "churches" belonging to the same denomination, but instead are, and truly function as, different gathering places of the same "church". There are so many other things I love about it too, but this isn't really the place to pontificate on that subject for too long. Sometimes I take things like this so much for granted, though, until I hear friends of other faiths talking about things that work so differently in their own churches, and I find it a little startling to be reminded how different things could be. I can't imagine being berated by my church leaders merely for asking a question, or feeling that I was being manipulated into paying tithing, or even having to deal with all the politicking some friends go through when a new minister needs to be hired, or worse, fired (actually, the idea of "hiring" a pastor is a little startling in itself...lol). And it really is "surprising", as you said to think that God would be taught about as anything other than a loving Father (though of course intellectually I know it happens). It makes me so sad to hear people struggling with things like that. I just want to fix it for them...but of course, it doesn't work like that. Each person has their own journey.

[johnandtinagilbert]

Most of what I've found is manipulation. I can't even get into it because it's beating a dead horse. I don't like the new church movements, I don't like the old-school churches. I don't fit in either. I just want some normal people who are trying to get through life, willing to be open and honest, willing to be humble. I'd like to be able to discuss ANY question I have about the Bible without being looked at like a rebel. I'd like to not be told that I need corporate worship to be acceptable to God and I'd like to not be manipulated into tithing. Here I go....

 

It's a frustrating topic for me and I REALLY need to stop responding to anything church related on the board. :glare:

If you move to this area, you're invited to our home church. I dittoed every single thing you typed. In church we seem to come across overly religious or country club. While I miss the fraternization, I don't miss anything else about Sunday/Wed. church. God has continued to move in our lives and we continue to have the spiritual support and guidance we need, right here, where we are -- home. Be encouraged, sister, you're not alone.

[johnandtinagilbert]

Hello Heather ~

 

I think you have come to an important crossroad -- the difference between faith and religon. Keep your focus on God not on pleasing others in your life. Take a close look at scripture, many times God had his people walk away from family or associations; Abraham for example.

 

:iagree:I know that can bring a sudden feeling of loneliness. Let not your heart be troubled! It's actually bringing you closer to the Lord!

 

 

While it's been a bit scary, it's also been exciting. I've enjoyed being challenged to listen to a new message, a new perspective, to break out of the ritual I was so comfortable with.

 

I don't think that is how the organized body of Christ is supposed to function. If you've been in a broken system for a period of time, it's common to not know how broken it is.

You'll be amazed at what God can show you when the ritual is removed and His Holy Spirit is free.

 

OP, I would encourage you, if you haven't already, to discuss with your church leader(s) the teachings with which you struggle. I believe a person should go to their leaders, as members of a flock, and ask questions. If there is no resolution, then you leave. If you're dh is already feeling the pull, then pray and follow his lead.

 

There are many parts to the body of Christ. Perhaps yours is just not in this particular body. Either way, I'll pray that the Lord leads you and dh to the place He knows is best for you and that the hearts of those you love will not be hardened or saddened, but encouraged as they see God move through your family.

:grouphug:

[HeatherM2]

I just want some normal people who are trying to get through life, willing to be open and honest, willing to be humble. I'd like to be able to discuss ANY question I have about the Bible without being looked at like a rebel. I'd like to not be told that I need corporate worship to be acceptable to God and I'd like to not be manipulated into tithing. Here I go....

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

[Brigitte]

I was thinking a lot of these same things as I read through this thread. I've never felt manipulated either (at church I mean...school and jobs, yes...ugh!), , and the idea of being "manipulated" at church just really makes me feel a little ill. And just this past week in R.S. we had a really good discussion about what it means that God is truly a loving Father and how that knowledge affects the way we approach daily life. I have always felt free to ask the hard questions, and have been able to find satisfactory answers to mine thus far through one source or another, though some of them have taken more time, study, and prayer than others. I also love that when I have moved, I haven't had to "shop" for a church, and that when we travel we have a place to worship if we're away from home on a Sunday and it will still be the same, because the different wards are not different "churches" belonging to the same denomination, but instead are, and truly function as, different gathering places of the same "church". There are so many other things I love about it too, but this isn't really the place to pontificate on that subject for too long. Sometimes I take things like this so much for granted, though, until I hear friends of other faiths talking about things that work so differently in their own churches, and I find it a little startling to be reminded how different things could be. I can't imagine being berated by my church leaders merely for asking a question, or feeling that I was being manipulated into paying tithing, or even having to deal with all the politicking some friends go through when a new minister needs to be hired, or worse, fired (actually, the idea of "hiring" a pastor is a little startling in itself...lol). And it really is "surprising", as you said to think that God would be taught about as anything other than a loving Father (though of course intellectually I know it happens). It makes me so sad to hear people struggling with things like that. I just want to fix it for them...but of course, it doesn't work like that. Each person has their own journey.

 

I couldn't agree more.

[TravelingChris]

My church is not a country club nor a judgemental place. I don't go to churches like that. Like one of the previous posters said, we join different denominations in different areas depending on the particular churches there. Here I am a member of an urban PCA church. I have been attending slighlty over a year and have never heard a tithing sermon. My pastor works thorugh a section of the Bible and preaches on that. Our big focus is how God calls us to be his sons and daughters and how freeing that can be. Not freeing to sin but to not feel it is something we need to accomplish. I think God put us here because this was a message one of my kids really needed to hear.

[teamturner]

I haven't left a church before but our church just went through a major split (for lack of a better explanation). I stayed but many of my close friends left. It did hurt but I never made them feel badly about it.

 

My two cents is this: If you know you will eventually leave, then just do it now rather than trying to hang around until you find THE church you are looking for. It will just make it harder and then you will not have to sneak around and worry about explaining yourself. Just leave and take your time visiting churches. And the reason you give for leaving need only be, "we feel the Lord leading us somewhere else." Or something to that effect. How can someone argue with you and your dh following the Holy Spirit's calling?? It's hard to argue with that or feel badly about it.

 

Blessings as you make this difficult transition. :grouphug:

[Blessedfamily]

.....

 

I know that there is no perfect church. That being said my husband and I really want to find a church that teaches the Bible and encourages Christians. .....

 

I pray you find just that.:grouphug:

[shinyhappypeople]

I think this site might be really encouraging to you: Lifestream :grouphug:

[laughing lioness]

We left a church a couple of years ago. My dh and I had lunch with the pastor and told him that we were being led to move from the church that we were at. We didn't talk to anyone before we talked with the pastor. We didn't give him tons of details, like all the things that bothered us. We let him know that we appreciated his ministry, would continue to pray for him and the fellowship and considered ourselves to still be living in unity with them. There were some clear problems, but we didn't see that it would be healthy/beneficial to point them out (it wasn't avoidance, btw). It was really hard to talk with the pastor- I had a stomach ache the whole lunch! BUT...it did allow us to remain freinds with folks. There is still lots of freindships, so I'm glad that we went to talk with him. It wasn't ugly or gossipy, it was just hard.

[HeatherM2]

I think this site might be really encouraging to you: Lifestream :grouphug:

 

I actually came across this site through a blog a couple days ago. I'm still reading and listening as I have time and it is really encouraging. Thank you.

[DawnL]

Homechurch! Really! Start a homechurch. Fellowship at home. Live, be, do, the church.

 

That's what we do.

 

And Keep praying. :)

 

 

That's an interesting way to go. It's not the most common, but it is definitely done.

 

I would suggest a clean break, all at once, from the current church. It will make it easier for you to scout out other churches without having to be in "stealth-mode". And you could always homechurch while you are considering things, too.

 

:grouphug: That's hard. But you can do it!

[happyWImom]

Heather:

 

I belonged to a certain denomination my whole life, didn't go for a while, and then after we got married & moved, started going again. It was that time, after meeting some new friends and attending a Christian Women's club (non denominational) that I feel I truly became a Christian. Anyway, we were still going to my original denominational church, but I started attending bible studies with my new friends, who all went to another church of a totally different denomination. We started alternating churches, and did this for almost a year, because we were so torn. We really liked the minister at the old church, but weren't happy much else.

 

Anyway, we really felt led to our new church/denomination, and are really happy about it. It's a really hard thing, though. I almost felt that it was like a divorce!

 

Have you been praying about it? (I can't remember if you said). That helped us.

[FO4UR]

You are not responsible to your extended family in this matter. It's hard, but you and your dh have to make these decisions together, apart from them. ...the whole "leave and cleave" is applicable here...

 

If the problems at church were new or "surface issues" I would say to stick it out and work it out. That doesn't sound like that's the case.

 

My advice is for you and your dh to write down the *doctrinal* reasons for leaving. Make a few copies and give them to the pastor and to your family members and then go.

 

Cover it all in prayer and stay in God's Word.

[HeatherM2]

You are not responsible to your extended family in this matter. It's hard, but you and your dh have to make these decisions together, apart from them. ...the whole "leave and cleave" is applicable here...

 

I totally agree. I just mentioned it because both my brother and my stepfather are pastors in the same denomination. I'm just trying to prepare myself.

 

And to answer the other post, yes we are praying, praying and praying.:001_smile:

I'm actually getting excited to see what God has in store for us.

[Nakia]

 

And to answer the other post, yes we are praying, praying and praying.:001_smile:

I'm actually getting excited to see what God has in store for us.

 

God knows exactly where your family is supposed to be! Our family has been so blessed by our new church. It is amazing to see what God does when you stand back and just let Him.

:grouphug: