Don't want to push it...

[lilbean05]

but I also don't want my 4.5 y/o dd to think that just because she doesn't want to do something means that she doesn't have to.

 

We are in what feels like a tough spot. She is reading very well and we have been doing FLL, Horizons 1, SW1, Bible stories, and some fun hands on coloring/cutting type things. She liked doing school when we started in August, but now she wants absolutely nothing to do with it.

 

I know she is only 4 and there is no reason to push anything, so I don't want to. She is so advanced that to do anything less challenging seems to be a waste of time and boring to her. She doesn't even want to read and I wish I knew how to get her excited about any of it. I suppose I should just stop and not do anything and try again when she is older, but it seems like she could be learning so much if only she wanted to.

 

Any ideas? Anyone been here before?

[Lovedtodeath]

Yes. DD made very little progress and seemed to lose interest from 4 and a half to 6 and a half. She was reading when she turned 3. She was done with K math when she was 4, and reading at 3rd grade level. We did nothing for at least a year.

 

She is none the worse for wear, though I felt like a failure for a while, she seems ready to take off again. I remember that I did not learn to read until I was 7 and I ended up advanced in short order, so I am not too worried about ruining anything at these tender ages.

 

I would recommend doing a lot of read alouds (we messed up in this area, if nothing else keep her joy of reading and read alouds alive!) including poetry. If she enjoys games and doing projects with drawing, scissors, etc. then continue with those. Oh, and at that point DD still really liked Queen's Language Lessons, but not much else, btw. Also use closed captioning on the TV.

Edited December 11, 2009 by Lovedtodeath

[EKS]

I have been there. Once I started a lesson, I always would finish it on my terms. Meaning if my son started to say he wanted to stop, I would always say no but then wrap up the lesson fairly quickly. When you do this you are establishing the ground rules for future homeschooling. Also, I always had him read to me in the evenings right before did the evening read aloud even if it was just a page or two.

 

I know you will get differing opinions on this, but if you have already introduced formal lessons, I would not stop, but rather I would slow down to a trickle. Then, once she turns whatever age you deem appropriate for more enforced lessons, start up again at full speed. You might even want to mention frequently and casually that when she turns whatever age that she will be doing more schoolwork.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

I would just consider lots and lots of you reading fun books to her. You could also have her occasionally read a page or paragraph. I also IMHO would consider lots of fun activities, arts and crafts, play, watching Between the Lions and other educational shows. My ds was also quite capable intellectually but not emotionally for school at that time and so IMHO you may want to hold off on formal school for now:) The above everyday activities go along way in preparing a child for school activities.

[monalisa]

She has YEARS of school ahead of her, either at home or in an institution.

 

My almost 7 year old DD went to "fun" preschool from ages 2 through four for 1 or 2 mornings a week at church (as opposed to academic I mean). She was reading the summer before starting kindergarten, and I never picked up any type of reading primer to go through with her, she just started on her own... I just read to her for probably at least an hour a day from the time she was a baby for fun. She LOOOVES reading and books now (I have to tear them out of her hands to go to bed, potty etc.), and was reading ahead of her class in private kindergarten. She's now reading well ahead of first grade. I am now really glad I didn't push anything with her.

 

I think if a kid is asking for "school" at 3 or 4, OK, do some with him or her. But otherwise, just let them be a little kid and play. They'll never get another chance you know!

 

Don't be offended, but I would for sure drop the FLL and Horizons 1 for a 4.5 year old. Horizons math 1 is advanced even for a first grader, and many people who have btdt say don't use any math workbooks for early gradeschool, let alone preschool age. I am using FLL with my almost 7 year old, and I know it would have been a fight to do it before now (why does a 4.5 year old need to know what a noun is???) She has PLENTY of time to learn grammar and math!)

 

Just play with her, read to her, cook with her,etc. Don't worry, she is learning whether you are doing "school" with her or not.

[Lovedtodeath]

She has YEARS of school ahead of her, either at home or in an institution.

 

My almost 7 year old DD went to "fun" preschool from ages 2 through four for 1 or 2 mornings a week at church (as opposed to academic I mean). She was reading the summer before starting kindergarten, and I never picked up any type of reading primer to go through with her, she just started on her own... I just read to her for probably at least an hour a day from the time she was a baby for fun. She LOOOVES reading and books now (I have to tear them out of her hands to go to bed, potty etc.), and was reading ahead of her class in private kindergarten. She's now reading well ahead of first grade. I am now really glad I didn't push anything with her.

 

I think if a kid is asking for "school" at 3 or 4, OK, do some with him or her. But otherwise, just let them be a little kid and play. They'll never get another chance you know!

 

Don't be offended, but I would for sure drop the FLL and Horizons 1 for a 4.5 year old. Horizons math 1 is advanced even for a first grader, and many people who have btdt say don't use any math workbooks for early gradeschool, let alone preschool age. I am using FLL with my almost 7 year old, and I know it would have been a fight to do it before now (why does a 4.5 year old need to know what a noun is???) She has PLENTY of time to learn grammar and math!)

 

Just play with her, read to her, cook with her,etc. Don't worry, she is learning whether you are doing "school" with her or not.

:iagree:I just want to add that I would do some kind of living math activities or something hands on if you don't want to drop math entirely.

[Mom-ninja.]

but I also don't want my 4.5 y/o dd to think that just because she doesn't want to do something means that she doesn't have to.

 

We are in what feels like a tough spot. She is reading very well and we have been doing FLL, Horizons 1, SW1, Bible stories, and some fun hands on coloring/cutting type things. She liked doing school when we started in August, but now she wants absolutely nothing to do with it.

 

I know she is only 4 and there is no reason to push anything, so I don't want to. She is so advanced that to do anything less challenging seems to be a waste of time and boring to her. She doesn't even want to read and I wish I knew how to get her excited about any of it. I suppose I should just stop and not do anything and try again when she is older, but it seems like she could be learning so much if only she wanted to.

 

Any ideas? Anyone been here before?

 

Why are you doing FLL and Horizons with a preschooler? Even if a kid is advanced at that age you can do things that are not "formal" lessons. You mention that you don't want to push, but doing formal grammar and math at 4 seems a bit pushy....even if she asked to do school. She's not having fun with lessons. The materials are not meant to be used with 4 yr olds.

 

You mention that you believe that anything less challenging would be a waste of time and boring. It sounds like she's already bored. Challenging does not mean formal lessons. Messy science projects can be challenging but not formal.

 

You said you don't want to be pushy. So don't be. Go back and read the WTM section on preschool and Kinder.

[Karen in CO]

It is certainly fun when your little student is sitting and doing school work. With my youngest when she was at that age, I would ask her if she wanted to join me for a lesson. If she didn't, it didn't really matter because I understand that little ones learn by play and imitation.

 

Find other ways to encourage her imagination and creativity. Those are the wonderful treasures of childhood that you will never find in a workbook.

 

My youngest is now 5 and joins us for some phonics copywork, and then I read her a story and have her draw a picture of it then tell me about the story. The rest of the day is just free-play or helping around the house. She is very creative, has a terrific vocabulary, a wonderful understanding of the world around her - and she even discussed with her doctor the differences between toothed and baleen whales at her checkup - and her reading is progressing just fine.

 

In your original post, you suggested stopping the work and coming back to it at a later time. Perhaps you are just looking for someone to tell you that it will be okay? Stopping the book work doesn't mean popping your child in front of SpongeBob all day and it doesn't mean that learning stops. It just means finding different ways to teach until she is ready for more formal lessons.

 

There are a series of good books that give ideas for teaching through play - Science Play is one and Math Play is another. I really enjoy using Sing, Play, Create with kids this age too. Ruth Beechick is a good resource for ideas for teaching young children gently.

Edited December 11, 2009 by Karen in CO

[Ellie]

but I also don't want my 4.5 y/o dd to think that just because she doesn't want to do something means that she doesn't have to.

Seriously? Aren't there any other situations where she can learn that has to do things she doesn't want to? Do you really want this to become a discipline issue?

 

We are in what feels like a tough spot. She is reading very well and we have been doing FLL, Horizons 1, SW1, Bible stories, and some fun hands on coloring/cutting type things. She liked doing school when we started in August, but now she wants absolutely nothing to do with it.

Sounds like her brain is full.

 

I know she is only 4 and there is no reason to push anything, so I don't want to. She is so advanced that to do anything less challenging seems to be a waste of time and boring to her. She doesn't even want to read and I wish I knew how to get her excited about any of it. I suppose I should just stop and not do anything and try again when she is older, but it seems like she could be learning so much if only she wanted to.

Yes, you should stop doing all the stuff you're doing with her. There are MANY things children can learn that don't look anything like school. I'm thinking that you have her so busy doing stuff that looks Just Like School that she doesn't have enough brain power to learn those other things.

 

JMHO, of course, but my vote would be to put away all that school stuff and let her learn on her own.

[StephanieZ]

but I also don't want my 4.5 y/o dd to think that just because she doesn't want to do something means that she doesn't have to.

 

We are in what feels like a tough spot. She is reading very well and we have been doing FLL, Horizons 1, SW1, Bible stories, and some fun hands on coloring/cutting type things. She liked doing school when we started in August, but now she wants absolutely nothing to do with it.

 

I know she is only 4 and there is no reason to push anything, so I don't want to. She is so advanced that to do anything less challenging seems to be a waste of time and boring to her. She doesn't even want to read and I wish I knew how to get her excited about any of it. I suppose I should just stop and not do anything and try again when she is older, but it seems like she could be learning so much if only she wanted to.

 

Any ideas? Anyone been here before?

 

 

I know you want your child to excel. And, clearly she is bright and capable.

 

But SHE IS ONLY 4!!!!!!!!!

 

This is the way I handle early schooling:

 

Before K age, everything is optional except violin practice (15 min/day) starting at age 3 and reading lesson (15 min) starting at age 4 (pre-K year). EVERYTHING ELSE IS OPTIONAL. If the kiddo balks, no worries, b/c I have made it completely clear that it is all "invitational". My kids have happily done a good bit more schooling at early ages than that which I've required. . . but making it "optional" is the key to happiness and relaxation in my home.

 

During the K year: mandatory stuff is only violin (15 min) reading (15 min) handwriting (3 min) and math (10 min)

 

Anyway, each year, the mandatory stuff expands. . . but the concept of "invitational schooling" works VERY well for us in the pre-K years and even mostly for K (when only a very few subjects are required, which can all be completed in under two hours with generous breaks included)

 

Soooo, if your 4 yo is unhappy schooling, to me that is a major red flag that you're doing too much. Pick your priorities -- not more than 30 min of work daily total. . . And make anything else completely optional, no recriminations, no pressure. . . This approach keeps YOU honest by forcing you to make schooling appealing enough to entice your child to WANT to do it. With a 4 yo, it really really really should all be that way, IMHO.

 

Please, please take the chorus of advice you are hearing here for the kindly intended sisterly advice it is intended. . . You have many many years to educate your child. Please give you both a break!! The holidays coming up give you a PERFECT no-blushes way to step back. Tell your dd that "school vacation" starts tomorrow and lasts for 6 weeks!!! When you start again in February. . . (after heaps of playing, baking, ornament making, etc.), you will both be refreshed. Then, start back with an extremely scaled down routine (seriously!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and make sure your dd knows exactly what is required and what is optional. You can keep the optional stuff accessible if you really want to. . . Do the required stuff in an hour or so in the morning, at a set time, and reward generously while it is being done and afterwards. . . Then let the rest GOGOGOGO. Choose fun, creative, educational stuff. Let go of the formal stuff!!

[Lovedtodeath]

Ellie, I think you did a good job of pointing out the worst that can happen... a child learns to hate school. Not good! :o

[MerryAtHope]

At this age I use chores for the lesson that just because they don't want to do something doesn't mean they can get out of it. I think you have a good idea about putting the formal stuff away for a time. However, that doesn't mean she can't be learning (or that she isn't learning even now). There are lots of informal things you can be doing. Do you have a good library? There are some great living math books that are really fun to read and can get her thinking mathematically. Also, I always had my kids playing with manipulatives at this stage. My dd would make up her own math games, like finding how many ways she could make a certain number through adding and multiplication using marbles etc... It's amazing some of the concepts they can learn just by playing. And, I'm sure you'll keep reading to her--that more than anything else will stimulate that desire in her to read. Ever feel re-energized after a break? Our kids do too!

 

Have fun & bake together--lots of math in there too. Merry :-)

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

Do you remember the Mr. Rogers song, "Everything Grows Together, Because You're All One Piece?"

 

My children were all advanced little geniuses at 3 and 4 years old. Three of the four were reading well by age 5, and the fourth was advanced in math but didn't read until he was almost 6. So I know what its like to see that magic little mind going gangbusters at schoolwork designed for much older kids! Fun!

 

But it isn't for every day at age 3 or 4, because their minds aren't the only parts of them that are growing like weeds. Their understanding of the world around them, their communication and relationships with family members, their small muscle skills, their increased appetites and need for more sleep during growth spurts, learning to ride a bike and dribble a ball...

 

When you consider that a little one is developing every square inch of himself at such a phenomenal rate, it is easier to understand why he wants to stop reading and writing for a day or two. He's busy growing other parts of himself and he can't be distracted.

 

In my humble opinion and in my experience, ages 3 to 6 are growing times. Schoolwork should be done in very short lessons, and it doesn't even have to be more than 3 days a week to make huge strides.

 

You can do this and still have them studying Shakespeare at age 11. You have time to get off to a good start, teaching the whole child and not just training the mind.

[lilbean05]

Thank you all for your advice (though some were more kind than others, ouch you guys!) I really feel a bit attacked, and I consider this site a place of support and suggestions, not biting my head off.

 

To the person who asked me why I was using Horizons 1 and FLL with my 4 year old--I feel like that is a real asinine question. Why do you think?We ended up where we are now with our choices of schoolng based on her abilities and we thought this was a good route to continue helping her grow and learn. I am now, through my experience, seeing that she really isn't even interested, even though she is capable which is why I came to ask your thoughts. Please don't bash me for that--first time attempt here!

 

I have several friends, who were my first exposure to homeschooling, who are homeschooling (with textbooks and workbooks) their two and three year olds. They seem to really enjoy it, so I thought perhaps I was missing something somewhere.

 

I wasn't looking for someone to tell me it was okay to do one thing or another, but more for a voice of experience to help me decide what to do next. We will certainly continue reading and playing and cooking and all of those fun things--we never really considered those aspects of child rearing as homeschooling.

 

Thank you all for sharing your experiences with me. I am thinking the idea of taking the extended Christmas vacation and easing back into a different type of school is great. We might keep one or two things and leave the rest optional (great suggestion!)

[Rosie_0801]

I have several friends, who were my first exposure to homeschooling, who are homeschooling (with textbooks and workbooks) their two and three year olds. They seem to really enjoy it, so I thought perhaps I was missing something somewhere.

 

 

I think "seem" is probably the important word here. ;) I've never met a toddler who'd enjoy that sort of stuff. Heck, I can't get my two and a half year old off the back of the sofa! Methinks you aren't missing anything except stuff that is worth missing. I'm starting kinder stuff with my tot next year, and that's going to include read alouds, a dedicated focus on Auslan and lots and lots of art. I figure art is a good way to occupy people, and is good for building muscles. It gets her off the back of the couch, anyway. I'm also finding that art makes me feel like we've actually DONE something.

 

Try not to feel attacked. Those who were a little less gentle than they could have been weren't really shouting at you. They were shouting at the culture that promotes early academics and dismisses the natural ways little kids learn as "not good enough."

 

 

Rosie

Edited December 11, 2009 by Rosie_0801

[The Governess]

but I also don't want my 4.5 y/o dd to think that just because she doesn't want to do something means that she doesn't have to.

 

We are in what feels like a tough spot. She is reading very well and we have been doing FLL, Horizons 1, SW1, Bible stories, and some fun hands on coloring/cutting type things. She liked doing school when we started in August, but now she wants absolutely nothing to do with it.

 

I know she is only 4 and there is no reason to push anything, so I don't want to. She is so advanced that to do anything less challenging seems to be a waste of time and boring to her. She doesn't even want to read and I wish I knew how to get her excited about any of it. I suppose I should just stop and not do anything and try again when she is older, but it seems like she could be learning so much if only she wanted to.

 

Any ideas? Anyone been here before?

 

Don't worry, you aren't alone. :grouphug:

 

I had a 4 year old who truly was ready to do "real" school. She learned to read at three and we started kindergarten right after she turned four. She is the kind of child who needs to be learning and accomplishing things all.the.time. or she is very hard to live with. She has a serious inner drive. She already wants to take over our whole household. :D I think school for her is an outlet, something she can control and master and find success with. She is a happier child when we complete schoolwork consistently.

 

*But*, we did have times during that first year where we needed to take a break. Sometimes it was power struggles between the two of us (not just school-related) that were making it hard to do lessons. Sometimes when you are mid-way through a curriculum, things just get a little boring. So we took time off here and there and then came back and picked things up later. It sounds like you and dd could use a bit of a break. Maybe try giving her a month off and see what happens. You never know, she may be asking you to do school again before the break is up. :001_smile: If she still isn't interested at that point, then maybe you need to mix up your curriculum choices a bit or find a different approach. I would try this first before giving up on school altogether for the rest of the year.

[Annie Laurie]

Why doesn't she want to read? Do you assign reading? Does she have a variety of books available to choose from?

 

I understand having a young one who can do all these things, my youngest has been reading fluently for awhile, writing sentences, and drawing elaborate pictures. But they won't get behind by not doing formal book work early, even SWB states in the WTM that her kids didn't do formal math or much beyond phonics in kindergarten and they were fully prepared for 1st.

 

My 5 yr old does SL science K because science is his favorite thing in the world and I don't like science much myself, so I needed a jumping off point. We spend a lot of time on rabbit trails and many, many science experiments. We've done things like making a weather vane and charting the wind direction strength for a week. Which led to him wanting to keep charts about other things, which we did. Which led to us learning about different kinds of charts.

 

I read to him a lot, we use the SL Core K read alouds because I enjoy them, and so far so has he. There is a lot to think about in the SL books. But there are tons of good books out there.

 

I provide him with a lot of things to explore- he has free access to art supplies, he spent hours drawing on our windows with window crayons the other day, he makes people cards and I help him address and mail them. He has a lot of Ed Emberley and Draw Write Now books because he enjoys drawing books. We do some lapbooks from Homeschool Share.

 

I have RightStart but we only do it when he wants to and for how ever long he wants to because he's only 5 and it's okay with me if we stop. He knows that going into it, so it's not a power struggle or about me giving in to him.

 

He likes to read in bed every night and we go to the library and pick new books frequently. We have books all over the house and I rotate them regularly.

 

There are lots of ways to provide the stimulation your little one is seeking without doing bookwork, if that is getting boring for her.

 

Anyway, hth a little.

[LittleIzumi]

We just come back to it later. Dd will do a workbook page (or part of one), then say she wants to play now. So she goes and plays, and we come back to the workbook later. Sometimes right after she's done playing, sometimes in a few days. But right now I think it's more important that she enjoy learning than that she get into a routine or complete X amount of work. And she does--she came back to her K workbook on her own today, asking to do some more pages. And she loves experiments :D. And sometimes what she doesn't want to do now, take a few weeks off and she likes it and wants to do more. Like copywork. HATED writing for a couple of months. So I would just ask for a couple of letters, taking turns with me or writing in millet. And now she writes all over and will happily write words and sentences on command, lol.

[jld]

Have you read "Better Late than Early" by Raymond and Dorothy Moore? That might give a little food for thought . . .

[alpidarkomama]

In our family, most things (regarding learning time, that is!) are optional before age 6. Everyone is there for davening (prayer) and torah stories. My 4-1/2-year-old has the option of doing Hebrew, math, reading, and writing every day with me, and can also participate in science, history, and art if he wants to. Generally he does 3 subjects with me four days per week, definitely does art, often does science, and occasionally listens to history stories. It's understood that at age 6, the subjects are all mandatory, and I never had a problem with that transition.

[Mom-ninja.]

Thank you all for your advice (though some were more kind than others, ouch you guys!) I really feel a bit attacked, and I consider this site a place of support and suggestions, not biting my head off.

 

Welcome to the board where one will get very honest and even blunt answers. You will not always hear what you want to hear. You have to kind of grow a thick skin, and try to step back and evaluate. It's hard at times, but as a parent it can be a great way to learn.

 

 

To the person who asked me why I was using Horizons 1 and FLL with my 4 year old--I feel like that is a real asinine question. Why do you think?

 

 

I asked and no I don't believe it is an asinine question. It is an honest question. I wanted to know why you felt your 4 yr old needs formal grammar, and formal math. The materials are not written for 4 yr olds, and if your 4 yr old doesn't want to continue doing them, then yes, you need to ask what your goals are and why you're doing certain programs. Then you need to figure out if your goals are realistic and working. Your dd is telling you that it is not working. That's why I asked the question. To get you to ask yourself the question.

 

We ended up where we are now with our choices of schoolng based on her abilities and we thought this was a good route to continue helping her grow and learn. I am now, through my experience, seeing that she really isn't even interested, even though she is capable which is why I came to ask your thoughts. Please don't bash me for that--first time attempt here!

 

 

Again, no bashing. Think of it as getting a school assignment back from a teacher. Just because you have incorrect answers does not mean that you are a bad person or that you are not smart. It's all a big learning experience. Your dd was showing you that things you were doing were "incorrect answers" to use that analogy. Don't get offended. Remeber, not a single parent is perfect.

 

 

 

I have several friends, who were my first exposure to homeschooling, who are homeschooling (with textbooks and workbooks) their two and three year olds. They seem to really enjoy it, so I thought perhaps I was missing something somewhere.

 

 

You've just learned the important "What works for some may not work for us." :001_smile:

 

 

Again, welcome to home schooling. You will forever doubt and question what you are doing. :lol:

[macdaddi]

I appreciate you starting this thread. I have wondered the same thing at times. My 4yo also has an "inner drive" to do schoolwork just like his brothers, so I just had to get it together and get his schoolwork list ready, too. He does have days when he doesn't want to do anything, so I just tell him to go play, but he always comes back to the table to continue his schoolwork. I just assumed that he'd always be that way, so it's nice to hear that I should expect him to not be interested at some point and that will be OK. In fact, next year, I'm implementing a new schedule where my 11yo will spend the first hour with my 6yo working on math, spelling, & reading for about an hour while I spend time with the 4yo. I will just let him decide if he wants me to play with him or do schoolwork with him (he is about to turn 5), and I will just try to stay this relaxed with him going into K & 1st grade.

[Haiku]

I suppose I should just stop and not do anything and try again when she is older, but it seems like she could be learning so much if only she wanted to.

 

 

Your daughter IS learning so much. It's just not the things that you have decided she should learn. There is a time for you to direct her academics ... but you haven't gotten to that time yet. I think that you would be at serious risk of creating burn-out in a four year old if you made her continue with academics at this age when she clearly doesn't want to.

 

I was once extremely eager to "do school" with my very young child, both because I was excited to start homeschooling and because she was extremely bright and I knew she could learn so much. Looking back, I'm very glad that she resisted me and that some very wise women talked me down. My daughter (and my son) learned far more as three, four, and five year olds just from living their lives than I ever could have taught them had I had a structured plan.

 

Were it me, I would announce a "holiday break" to my child and continue that break indefinitely ... until she asked for more academics or she reached K or 1st-grade age (FWIW, I didn't do any school with my dd until she was in first grade, and now in second grade she reads on a 4th/5th grade level and is extremely mathy. She missed nothing by not doing school until she was six).

 

Tara

[Haiku]

I feel like that is a real asinine question.

 

I don't think this is an asinine question at all. As was pointed out by more than one poster, children develop different capabilities at different ages. A child may be academically advanced but still not ready for curricula that are for children two years older. There's a huge cognitive leap between 4 and 6, even for "advanced kids" (and even, in our case, for my "delayed kid"). It's like the difference between being 8 and in 3rd grade and 8 and in 5th grade. The 8 year old may be extremely bright, but the expectations of a 5th grader are on a wholely different cognitive and maturity level. You can't rush those things, even for bright kids. Curricula made for 6 and 7 year olds generally aren't suitable for even very bright 4 year olds.

 

Tara

[crl]

I would have to agree with what others here have said. While your DD at age 4 might be capable of doing the work of a first grader, (and it probably feels good to have a DD who seems advanced) that doesn't mean that she should be required to do the work of a first grader.

 

Here's my quick story. My DD seemed advanced when she was younger. She knew all her alphabet and the sounds at 2 turning 3, but that doesn't mean she was ready to blend the letters. That is a skill that comes later in a child's development. At the time I didn't know that and couldn't figure out why she couldn't sound out C-A-T since she knew each individual letter sound. Once I understood that she just didn't have that skill yet, I was able to understand that my DD seems to learn a lot quickly and early and then hit a wall for months (or years) until her developmental skills catch up.

 

So now that you know my story, I would advise you to take a Christmas break and do some fun Christmas activities. Learn about the background of Christmas or read Christmas stories. For example, we are going to bake cookies and deliver them to some shut-ins this weekend. So during the baking, I can point out things like the measurements and proper way to follow instructions. So my DD will be learning without the pressure of school. Then we'll be learning social interaction and caring for others when we deliver the cookies. I would suggest you try more learning experiences like that and leave the official curriculum on the shelf until she is ready to start formal grammar and higher math. If you feel like you really need something to call school, check out homeschoolshare.com for their unit studies on library books and go gently with them. I found my kids love to read the books and then do a project related to the book.

 

I know when I was in your shoes, I felt like we should be doing more school since DD was able to learn quickly. Now with child #2, I can see better that early academics isn't the only thing kids can learn at 4.

[nmoira]

I suppose I should just stop and not do anything and try again when she is older, but it seems like she could be learning so much if only she wanted to.

I did do work with my then 4yo (DD the Eldest, newly 8). But she was highly motivated, and I kept the days to 1/2 hour or less cumulative (she would have liked more), not counting reading aloud. I didn't and don't yet assign reading, and didn't push phonics. We did do a couple minutes of OPG a day, but only read the word lists, skipping the lesson parts. IMHO, formal phonics can wait until spelling if a child is already reading well.

 

I firmly believe that the best thing you can do "academically" for young children, no matter how advanced, is to read, read, read, and revel in it. Read poetry, classic kid's lit, modern works (like Dick King-Smith), the daily comics (they have to keep 20 different story lines straight), just read. We did mostly a modified Charlotte Mason approach at that age... lots of living books with occasional *informal* narrations (don't make it quiz-like or boring), and nature walks. Keep tonnes of art supplies. Sing songs... we learned sea shanties.

[oakmom]

In our family, most things (regarding learning time, that is!) are optional before age 6.

 

Our family runs things similarly. Until age 6, everything is optional. At age six, starting phonics (if they haven't chose to start yet) is required. At age seven, a formal math program is required (if they haven't chose to start yet). We cover a lot of ground informally and my children usually choose to start their formal programs early, but if they change their mind and want more play time while they are young, I am fine with that. I have found that with my children, if I back off and follow their lead, they usually come back and want more learning.

 

Of course, I was much more relaxed about knowing it would all be fine and that my children would not grow up to be illiterate with my fourth child than I was with my first.

[Mom-ninja.]

I also wanted to agree that baking is such a cool way to learn. Now that we are starting to learn fractions in ds's formal math lessons, he already knows so much about them. His fraction knowledge has come from baking and cooking.

[Laura in STL]

I can completely empathize with wanting to start formal work with a child who is young but seems ready. I also think you are smart to pull back now that she seems to be frustrated with the workload. I agree with others who have suggested keeping up with fun read alouds and playing games. Some games are great for math, and kids don't even realize it. They just play for fun. Your daughter can have a little break, and you won't have to feel like you have abandoned learning time completely. Kids change so quickly that she may surprise you by asking for schoolwork again in a fairly short time, anyway. Hope this helps and good luck!

[PineFarmMom]

Is she your first child? It's really hard...or was with me with my first child and being a girl. I saw the potential and wanted to jump in and GO!! We did some of the same dance that you're doing of her being all excited and then not wanting to do it later. I had people on these boards saying don't push the education part but have fun and read and play games, etc. That was 10 years ago...my dd is now 14. I wish I had listened. I am now doing, with my 3 and 6yos, the same stuff that was recommended to me by everyone on these boards 10 years ago. ;) With no effort, even my 3yo knows all of his letters, his sounds, can count fairly high, regularly lays objects out and counts them out, plays with his cuisinaire rods, can write many of his letters, can do much that he'd need to do going into K (he needs more small motor for writing) and it's been through fun and games. I'll start him with 100 ez lessons, maybe, when he turns 4, but I'll keep things fun for a while. I've purchased several learning toys and that has made it easy.

 

My point is that there are several ways to skin this cat. Look into games and fun things. Sight word bingo, alphabet bingo (she may be ahead of that), the cuisenaire rods & the Alphabet book that goes with it for math, lacing shapes (helps with penmanship), let her write things in a pan of flour or in pudding instead of on paper, read and learn about topics she's interested in, do crafts. Lay off the textbook type stuff and take a different path. There really are years and years of seat work ahead of her. If you can, enjoy this fun part. I know that as my older two have gotten into serious school work (my dd is in high school now), I have wished I could relive those days when it could just be all about FUN!!! :grouphug:

[Colleen in NS]

We will certainly continue reading and playing and cooking and all of those fun things--we never really considered those aspects of child rearing as homeschooling.

 

easing back into a different type of school is great. We might keep one or two things and leave the rest optional (great suggestion!)

 

As you are thinking about what you want to do after Christmas break, maybe consider more of a "family routine" than a homeschooling routine. You could have a morning "time with Mommy" for an hour or two, and see what she wants to do during this time - a math game? learning some phonics? a game of Concentration? baking some cookies? helping you with a chore? a puzzle? CandyLand? making doll clothes? Then schedule the rest of the day around the family - a chore time, meal times, cleanup times, nap/rest times, outdoors time, errand times, reading aloud times, etc.. I have found that by having some kind of daily routine since my kids were babies, it was easy to move into "school lessons" time in the mornings when they got to Grade 1, because they were used to me telling them their new routines every few months or each year or whatever. Mostly, the only formal schoolish thing I did before Grade 1 was teach them how to read.

 

I will also mention that I did FLL 1 with dd when she was in K, because she was an "old" Kindergartner - but when she started Grade 1 and started FLL 2, thing quickly went downhill. I backed up and started level 1 again, and grammar has been fine for her since then. My ds was "precocious" around ages 2-8 (taught himself phonogram sounds at age 3, read at age 4, was a whirlwind of reading/drawing/exploring/wanting info. activity, reached a very high level of spelling ability by age 9), but things evened out as he got older. So, though he was a sponge and thirsty for activity/knowledge, I just let him play and read and follow me around during those younger years. His thirst was satisfied by that.