Question about tithing (obv. cc)

[Sue G in PA]

I'm not asking about the biblical validity of tithing. I know it is Scriptural. So, I'm not here to debate it. My question is this: Must I tithe to my home church even if it makes me sick to do so? I just don't feel "good" about tithing to my home church. Neither does my dh. We have not been tithing for months for a variety of reasons but have felt convicted to start. Is it "okay" to tithe to a different church, cause, charity? I know some would consider this "overflow" or "offering" and not your tithe. But if you really don't feel good about tithing to your own church, wwyd? I don't want to get into the "then why are you attending" questions. We don't even know...except we love the youth ministry and I sing on the worship team (it's my sanity) and we have a bunch of good friends there. The preaching is so-so (at least it is biblical). But our church is just ALWAYS asking for money...for missionaries, for a family-in-need, for some cause the pastor feels drawn to, for trips, for whatever...every week is something different. Anyway, wwyd in my situation? Is it scriptural to tithe outside your home church? Thanks.

[1bassoon]

We have friends who attend a very small home church fellowship. The dads all take turn leading worship, so there is very little "need" for money.

 

They put their tithe into a separate bank account, and then look for ways to bless the Body of Christ with it. Sometimes they give it to missions, sometimes they help believers who have severe financial needs.

 

HTH!

[Erica in PA]

I'm not asking about the biblical validity of tithing. I know it is Scriptural. So, I'm not here to debate it. My question is this: Must I tithe to my home church even if it makes me sick to do so? I just don't feel "good" about tithing to my home church. Neither does my dh. We have not been tithing for months for a variety of reasons but have felt convicted to start. Is it "okay" to tithe to a different church, cause, charity? I know some would consider this "overflow" or "offering" and not your tithe. But if you really don't feel good about tithing to your own church, wwyd? I don't want to get into the "then why are you attending" questions. We don't even know...except we love the youth ministry and I sing on the worship team (it's my sanity) and we have a bunch of good friends there. The preaching is so-so (at least it is biblical). But our church is just ALWAYS asking for money...for missionaries, for a family-in-need, for some cause the pastor feels drawn to, for trips, for whatever...every week is something different. Anyway, wwyd in my situation? Is it scriptural to tithe outside your home church? Thanks.

 

This may not be what you want to hear, but I think the main issue *is* attending a church where you don't feel comfortable tithing. I think that is the question you need to consider, more than whether your tithe needs to be to your church or not. Going to a church that makes you sick to think about giving to... that is a serious problem. More serious than how you divide your money.

 

My own personal conviction is that the tithe should go to my local church, and that other giving should be above and beyond, but there is nothing in Scripture that commands this as far as I know. It just seems to me that in the NT, the assumption is that people are giving to and supporting their local body of believers.

[6packofun]

When we were in a similar situation, we found ministries that we gave a financial "tithe" to, because we felt they were managing God's money better than our own church, BUT we continued to give materially to our church. For example, when they expressed a need for supplies for a certain ministry, we'd donate them. We continually donated food to the food pantry and for holiday meal baskets. We always did the Operation Christmas Child. We made handmade ribbon angel ornaments for the Angel Giving Tree. Made baked goods for after service or brought snacks for youth group. We bought Bibles for one of the children's classes that didn't have any. Things like that.

 

We prayed about it and felt that, for us, it was God's answer to the situation. :)

[lionfamily1999]

I think the part of the point is to 'feed' the body you're in. You contribute to the well-being. If your church has missionaries, you're helping pay for that outreach, you're helping pay for the electricity, and other utilities that the church is using. I don't know that God would frown on it, I just don't know the scriptures well enough to come up with something on that. However, it seems to me that it would be like living in one home, but paying rent to another, iykwIm.

[QueenCat]

Tithing is giving 10% to God, not a specific church or religious body. We give part of our offering to the church we attend. Some of our offering goes to specific charities on a regular basis. We save part of it for things that come that we feel led to give to (such as a family we know that needs money).

[BridgeTea]

 

I can't recall exactly what scripture says on this, but I can tell you what I'd do: Pray on it and give where you feel led. God knows your heart and will use your tithes no matter what form they're in and what address they're sent to. :)

[Daisy]

This may not be what you want to hear, but I think the main issue *is* attending a church where you don't feel comfortable tithing. I think that is the question you need to consider, more than whether your tithe needs to be to your church or not. Going to a church that makes you sick to think about giving to... that is a serious problem. More serious than how you divide your money.

 

My own personal conviction is that the tithe should go to my local church, and that other giving should be above and beyond, but there is nothing in Scripture that commands this as far as I know. It just seems to me that in the NT, the assumption is that people are giving to and supporting their local body of believers.

 

:iagree:

[Sue G in PA]

I would feel comfortable giving our tithe directly to support our Youth ministry...that is one ministry of our church that I 100% support. Or to the music ministry which always gets the "last" of the finances. Erica...I agree this is the main issue. My problem...God isn't telling me to go elsewhere right now. And, w/out His prompting, I'm not leaving. I'm sick and tired of hearing about our Pastor's latest vacation to the beach or latest cruise or latest technical gadget or latest new car, etc. Don't get me wrong...he deserves a salary. Certainly. He provides a service to our congregation. But, it all just seems so "top heavy" to me, financially speaking. Perhaps I'm just bitter. Perhaps it's my own heart I must work on getting right with God. Thanks for the replies so far.

[Daisy]

I would feel comfortable giving our tithe directly to support our Youth ministry...that is one ministry of our church that I 100% support. Or to the music ministry which always gets the "last" of the finances. Erica...I agree this is the main issue. My problem...God isn't telling me to go elsewhere right now. And, w/out His prompting, I'm not leaving. I'm sick and tired of hearing about our Pastor's latest vacation to the beach or latest cruise or latest technical gadget or latest new car, etc. Don't get me wrong...he deserves a salary. Certainly. He provides a service to our congregation. But, it all just seems so "top heavy" to me, financially speaking. Perhaps I'm just bitter. Perhaps it's my own heart I must work on getting right with God. Thanks for the replies so far.

 

Okay, while I don't think it is a great LONG-TERM solution, I don't think you'll find anything in the Bible that is against you sending your tithe money to another ministry. I actually understand where you are at. It took us another two years before we left our church. In the meantime we literally paid our tithe in cash to the specific ministries of our church. We didn't get the tax deduction but at least we KNEW our money was going to the food pantry or the children's ministry rather than into one person's pocketbook.

 

I'm sure there are plenty of ministries that really NEED your tithe.

[BridgeTea]

Can you earmark your tithe to go exactly where you want it to go within your church? In my denomination, that is not unusual and is honored. I never thought about how other denominations might handle requests, so sorry if the question is naive.

[Daisy]

Can you earmark your tithe to go exactly where you want it to go within your church? In my denomination, that is not unusual and is honored. I never thought about how other denominations might handle requests, so sorry if the question is naive.

 

Our old church would allow you to do this but we discovered that if we earmarked $100 to the food pantry, they would give the food pantry that money but then deduct $100 from that same ministry's budget. Grrr. That really p!ssed us off.

[Susan in TN]

Well, this is the best answer I can give - if you feel this is the place God has placed you to be shepherded and to serve the Body of Christ, then you'll just need to trust that HE will honor your tithes as you give. I don't believe for a minute that every single penny I give to my church is used in utmost wisdom. However, I place my faith in God, and He has promised to use my faithfullness to His purpose and the good of His people. (And some of that "good" may simply be turning my selfish heart into a generous one :) - not an easy task.)

[ChristusG]

DH and I believe that tithing is simply giving back to God. We do this sometimes in the form of giving our tithe to our church. Other times, we help people in need. Sometimes it ends up being one of our parents, other times it ends up being people I have met online, and still other times we use it for things like choosing a child from the Angel Tree around Christmas time. I do not feel it always has to be giving to your home church. If God places it on your heart, give wherever you feel comfortable.

[katilac]

Our old church would allow you to do this but we discovered that if we earmarked $100 to the food pantry, they would give the food pantry that money but then deduct $100 from that same ministry's budget. Grrr. That really p!ssed us off.

 

United Way and most other charities do it that way as well; the only way the designated money ever leads to "extra" in the budget is if designated donations go above and beyond the budgeted amount. It's misleading, imo.

 

I don't know how common this is for churches, but it's probably standard in most sizeable congregations (or any where they keep a very close eye on divvying up donations). The only way around it might be to do as another poster suggested, and make in-kind donations, rather than cash donations, to specific ministries.

[Daisy]

United Way and most other charities do it that way as well; the only way the designated money ever leads to "extra" in the budget is if designated donations go above and beyond the budgeted amount. It's misleading, imo.

 

I don't know how common this is for churches, but it's probably standard in most sizeable congregations (or any where they keep a very close eye on divvying up donations). The only way around it might be to do as another poster suggested, and make in-kind donations, rather than cash donations, to specific ministries.

 

Sorry, if I'm leading the thread on a rabbit trail.

 

The reason it annoyed us so much was that each department/ministry within the church was told they had to raise their own budget funds. Departments like food pantry and children's ministry just don't generate that much "income". So we earmarked money, we had received through a death in the family, to those areas thinking they could buy some new children's toys or extra food for Thanksgiving. Nope, they didn't see one extra dime. So from that moment on, we palmed the heads of those departments cash and they gave us receipts back.

 

We left that church over doctrinal issues. The above practice (although perfectly legal) didn't endear them to us though.

 

Basically if you can't trust your church with it's financial matters, you probably have other areas of concern also. At least that has been our experience.

[outtamyshell]

I could be way off here, but it sounds like you are being prompted to give elsewhere. Maybe this is the first step to finding a new church? I can't imagine paying tithing to an organization that I don't trust to spend the Lord's money wisely. But I'm also comfortable enough with my church leaders to support their decisions. I'd say pray about it and trust the Lord to show you whether you need to trust your leaders or be open to something new.

[Rosy]

When the Bible says "bring the tithe into the storehouse" (Malachi), my sense is that it means one's home church--the place where you fellowship and are fed. Scripture doesn't say specifically, but at that time you didn't choose between dozens of local churches, it all went to the temple. In the NT, we're told to give generously and cheerfully...but it also says the worker is worthy of his wages. Whether you like them or not and agree with them or not, the pastors are working for you and on your behalf, and you are benefitting from it.

 

I went to a church where I took issue with the pastor on a number of points, but we still tithed faithfully. I considered it giving to the Lord, not my church.

 

Our conviction is to give 10% to our church home, and beyond that to give as the Lord directs us to other ministries and missions. Fortunately, our church supports many ministries we love and we have tremendous respect and appreciation for our pastors...but when it comes down to it, we give out of obedience.

[babysparkler]

Well, this is the best answer I can give - if you feel this is the place God has placed you to be shepherded and to serve the Body of Christ, then you'll just need to trust that HE will honor your tithes as you give. I don't believe for a minute that every single penny I give to my church is used in utmost wisdom. However, I place my faith in God, and He has promised to use my faithfullness to His purpose and the good of His people. (And some of that "good" may simply be turning my selfish heart into a generous one :) - not an easy task.)

:iagree:

[happi duck]

God once had us in a church that made horrible financial decisions. Somehow one individual had the freedom to spend the church's money however she wanted :001_huh:. While God had us there we felt led to donate directly to specific needs, not the general fund.

 

I think sometimes God will have you in a place that you can't trust with money. He'll guide you about where to give.

[angela in ohio]

Sometimes money makes things clearer. It sounds like this isn't the right church for you, but you don't realize how much until money is involved. No one and no organizations is "just bad with money;" it is a sign of sin issues.

 

If you are attending the church, you need to tithe there. If you cannot bring yourself to write them a check, then you need to prayerfully consider leaving. If you distrust their leadership in this area, what will happen when you have a family crisis and need the leadership they can provide?

[Sue G in PA]

Sometimes money makes things clearer. It sounds like this isn't the right church for you, but you don't realize how much until money is involved. No one and no organizations is "just bad with money;" it is a sign of sin issues.

 

If you are attending the church, you need to tithe there. If you cannot bring yourself to write them a check, then you need to prayerfully consider leaving. If you distrust their leadership in this area, what will happen when you have a family crisis and need the leadership they can provide?

 

I think this sums it up. Sin issues...I'm not sure there are blatant sin issues. Pastor is very controlling and that can lead to pride issues, but overall a very Godly man. We have been in prayer about leaving, but have not received a Word from the Lord to leave. Your last sentence really got me. If we had a family crisis, our church would be the last place we would go! We would go to friends. I don't trust our leadership to keep things confidential. And, as far as financial crisis go, the Pastor would ask for MORE offering instead of using the existing funds. Complicated, but it's happened before. Our congregation is very giving...but people are talking about how difficult it is sometimes. Anyway, thanks again for all the replies. Suppose dh and I have more praying to do.

[Susan in KY]

Our tithe is 100% committed to missionaries we know personally and whose work we have seen over a period of time. Offerings go to the church or to meet a need locally. I have occasionally had a twinge of guilt that perhaps we should give more to our local church because it is doing a fantastic amount locally and our pastors are really solid and the body is sound. However, this is the first church we've been in since we got back from Africa like that (we've been back for 8 years). So, the missions funding was in place long before the church was.

We did not feel we could give to the previous churches we attended with any amount of conviction, since the missionaries we knew needed it more desperately, and were more effective on slimmer budgets than the said churches. Besides that, it was the age of massive building projects and we refused to support building projects when the churches we loved in Africa met in mud-and-stick huts and were more alive and giving and loving than anything we encountered when we got back to the States.

Cynical? Perhaps, but I have no regrets for doing it the way we did it, knowing that our hard-earned cash is being invested in lives instead of carpeting.

Hope that helps,

Susan

[Sue G in PA]

Cynical? Perhaps, but I have no regrets for doing it the way we did it, knowing that our hard-earned cash is being invested in lives instead of carpeting.

 

And THAT is exactly how I have been feeling! Church just had a major renovation and it looks beautiful. We did need more classrooms and space as we were growing. However, again, this did not come from tithes...it came from an EXTRA fund. I don't see our church giving much to ANYONE or any organization from the general fund. Maybe that's how most churches operate. My dh suggested we sponsor more children from Compassion b/c we do believe in that cause. Or, that we tithe to a friend's church where we KNOW the money is being used to "feed the community" literally and spiritually. The church is far away from us, or we would go there. AND, the preaching is not "great" but the ministry is fantastic. Make sense?

[Guest Cindie2dds]

I would feel comfortable giving our tithe directly to support our Youth ministry...that is one ministry of our church that I 100% support. Or to the music ministry which always gets the "last" of the finances. Erica...I agree this is the main issue. My problem...God isn't telling me to go elsewhere right now. And, w/out His prompting, I'm not leaving. I'm sick and tired of hearing about our Pastor's latest vacation to the beach or latest cruise or latest technical gadget or latest new car, etc. Don't get me wrong...he deserves a salary. Certainly. He provides a service to our congregation. But, it all just seems so "top heavy" to me, financially speaking. Perhaps I'm just bitter. Perhaps it's my own heart I must work on getting right with God. Thanks for the replies so far.

 

Wow, I understand why you wouldn't want to tithe there. That's so hard. :grouphug: We looked around for a church with "open books" because we were tired of the hypocrisy. We know what everyone makes, which is exactly the same from the janitor to the senior pastor (depending on the number of kids). We tithe -- 10% -- to the church, then our offering for missionaries or other things is different from that. I would definitely pray for discernment with your husband.

 

ETA: We drive 30 minutes to church, wish we didn't have to.

[Annabel Lee]

I'm not asking about the biblical validity of tithing. I know it is Scriptural. So, I'm not here to debate it. My question is this: Must I tithe to my home church even if it makes me sick to do so? I just don't feel "good" about tithing to my home church. Neither does my dh. We have not been tithing for months for a variety of reasons but have felt convicted to start. Is it "okay" to tithe to a different church, cause, charity? I know some would consider this "overflow" or "offering" and not your tithe. But if you really don't feel good about tithing to your own church, wwyd? I don't want to get into the "then why are you attending" questions. We don't even know...except we love the youth ministry and I sing on the worship team (it's my sanity) and we have a bunch of good friends there. The preaching is so-so (at least it is biblical). But our church is just ALWAYS asking for money...for missionaries, for a family-in-need, for some cause the pastor feels drawn to, for trips, for whatever...every week is something different. Anyway, wwyd in my situation? Is it scriptural to tithe outside your home church? Thanks.

 

"The Church" is the world-wide Bride of Christ; all Christ-followers. During a time when we were church-shopping after moving to a different state, we sent our tithe to some missionaries in Kazakstan who were teaching locals how to dig clean-water wells and the like. We've supported various branches of the Body of Christ with our tithe and I don't believe it makes any difference. My criteria for tithing to my church is that they use the money wisely. No fluff decor, stained-glass windows, or other waste is an acceptable expenditure imo. It has to go where it is needed most - people truly in need - for me to feel OK about it.

[Pam L in Mid Tenn]

God is not an accountant. He wants 100% of your heart and for you to be a cheerful giver. Give cheerfully whereever you want to give cheerfully.

 

Not meaning to start a debate, but:

Tithing is an old testament law. Yes, it does set a guideline for giving and a prinicple for giving. In the NT, Christ wants 100% of us. Money too ??? Although we can learn about the things God wants from us in the Law, we are now under Grace. :001_smile:

[Annabel Lee]

God is not an accountant. He wants 100% of your heart and for you to be a cheerful giver. Give cheerfully whereever you want to give cheerfully.

 

Not meaning to start a debate, but:

Tithing is an old testament law. Yes, it does set a guideline for giving and a prinicple for giving. In the NT, Christ wants 100% of us. Money too ??? Although we can learn about the things God wants from us in the Law, we are now under Grace. :001_smile:

 

:iagree: I don't think tithes given with resentment or doubt really capture the essence of what it is supposed to be. But, in the NT, of all the talk Jesus did, much of it was about money (greed, love of money, etc.).