Lovedtodeath Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 I am down to nursing when we go to bed and when he wakes up and it isn't time to get up yet. So 1-3 times in 24 hours. Last night I did not nurse him to go to sleep. He fell asleep at 3 AM. When he woke up at around 8 AM I nursed him back to sleep, and again when he woke up at 10:30 (when I got up). Tonight I wanted him in bed and I wasn't sure if I was doing this right so I just nursed him to sleep. So... am I going about this all wrong? I just don't think I can go cold turkey and get no sleep. Is the first nursing to sleep the one that should go first? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 I am down to nursing when we go to bed and when he wakes up and it isn't time to get up yet. So 1-3 times in 24 hours. Last night I did not nurse him to go to sleep. He fell asleep at 3 AM. When he woke up at around 8 AM I nursed him back to sleep, and again when he woke up at 10:30 (when I got up). Tonight I wanted him in bed and I wasn't sure if I was doing this right so I just nursed him to sleep. So... am I going about this all wrong? I just don't think I can go cold turkey and get no sleep. Is the first nursing to sleep the one that should go first? Sigh. I loved nursing. I weaned ds at 24 months and it was pretty easy. I had never nursed him to sleep so that helped....mornings were the hardest, but I just diverted him to a sippy cup and he stopped asking for the breast in a few days. Harder on me than him I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 In my case, the nursing right before bed was the last (and hardest one) to wean from. I let go the one's they didn't care as much about at first. Then I made sure that our bedtime ritual at night including much cuddles and singing softly so that it would still be special and soothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted October 11, 2009 Author Share Posted October 11, 2009 In my case, the nursing right before bed was the last (and hardest one) to wean from. I let go the one's they didn't care as much about at first. Then I made sure that our bedtime ritual at night including much cuddles and singing softly so that it would still be special and soothing. Thank you for responding. What about waking up in the middle of the night (morning)? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samiam Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 I had to do cold turkey for DS3, the week after he turned 3. I couldn't picture how he would recognize when it would be okay and when it wouldn't. Plus I could see him figuring out, Okay, if mom says we have to be in bed to nurse, let's go to bed (regardless of what time it was). I have to tell you the only reason we made it to nursing at age 3 is because I was afraid to wean him, didn't want to go through the fight and crying. I would have quit around 2 if I had known how easy it was going to be. It was NO where near as horrible as I thought it was going to be. The first night, I rocked him to sleep, in a rocking chair, after he cried for about five minutes. The same for the next couple of nights. He woke up a couple of times in the middle of the night, and there was a bit of struggle, but he ended up going right back to sleep after that. By the fourth night, we laid in bed and I "rocked" him, which was really just king of snuggling. And that was that. After one week, we were completely over it and none the worse. I slept better AFTER weaning cuz I wasn't woken up throught out the night. If only night-nursing is what you want, then great. But if you are trying to wean all the way, I really recommend just doing it cold turkey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 I tried just some cuddling, perhaps with a sippy cup on warm milk or even just water (we never used a bottle since we had never used one previously and did not want to introduce one at that age). I should say this was what I did with ds12 only. Dd7 weaned herself at 11 months old - suddenly one morning - cold turkey! Very, very hard physically and emotionally on her mama! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cera Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 I would drop the nursing to sleep at night before the nursing back to sleep when he wakes up too early. Both are nursing to sleep and I would rather have the fight (if there is one) at the end of the day than in the middle of the night when I am sound asleep. You might get lucky and when he gets used to falling to sleep without nursing he will easily fall back to sleep without nursing so you won't realy have to wean him from that second feeding. When we did it I offered a special cup of water that my girls each got to pick to replace their bedtime nursing access (sippy cup with a hard spout, one kid picked cinderella, the other little einsteins). I switched their bedtime routine up as well so they didn't miss it as much. We went from rocking and nursing to laying in bed together reading then I would sit and rub their back for a bit while they had their "special" cup (which they got to sleep with). It took about a week for them to get used to the new routine but we stressed that they were big and it was a special privilege to get a cup and a back rub. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 I am down to nursing when we go to bed and when he wakes up and it isn't time to get up yet. So 1-3 times in 24 hours. Last night I did not nurse him to go to sleep. He fell asleep at 3 AM. When he woke up at around 8 AM I nursed him back to sleep, and again when he woke up at 10:30 (when I got up). Tonight I wanted him in bed and I wasn't sure if I was doing this right so I just nursed him to sleep. So... am I going about this all wrong? I just don't think I can go cold turkey and get no sleep. Is the first nursing to sleep the one that should go first? I had to quit cold turkey as I had a horrible flu. He slept in his bed and my husband camped out in the floor right beside him for a week. My dh got him a special cup and he used it ever night with water when he would wake up. He was weaned that week and by the time I recovered it was all over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 (edited) Can I first say congratulations on successfully nursing your child for 30 months, what a great boost to his health and a major achievement in the western world's anti-breastfeeding culture! I night weaned my 2nd child by simply telling her that from now on the breasts would be going to sleep overnight. The first night, she woke up and said "breast... oh, breast sleep" and went straight back to sleep without me even having to go over to her (at this stage she slept in a cot in our bedroom). So we went from several overnight feeds to one before bed and one in the morning instantly. Soon afterwards, she chose to move into her own bed and bedroom. I easily phased out the good morning breastfeed by offering breakfast soon after she woke up. The last thing before bed feed I was actually happy to continue as long as she wanted, but she decided to give it up herself. If you are happy to continue with the one evening feed, your child will stop asking for it eventually. If you feel that it's time to wean completely, I would work on developing a new bedtime ritual. You start by incorporating the breastfeed into a routine that includes lots of other things, eg stories, poems, songs, prayers, cuddles, kisses, saying goodnight to soft toys, etc whatever works. Then you start to put more emphasis on the other things and less on the nursing. If your child can already count, you can ask him to have 20 sucks, or whatever number you pick. Otherwise you can just shorten the time by saying it's time for the story or whatever, or saying the milk is ready to go to sleep now. If he is very resistant to dropping the breastfeed completely, you can introduce a special, "big-kid" warm milky drink as a substitute (preferably flavor the milk or milk substitute with something sugar free, like vanilla, so it doesn't damage his teeth, and give it to him in a cup, not a bottle). A weaning party or a special present can be a further encouragement. HTH Edited October 11, 2009 by Hotdrink Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amber in AUS Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 Carmen you have already been given some great advice. My youngest 2 self weaned before 2 so i have not personally BTDT but a good friend of mine was still feeding her almost 3 yo. She simply got up some morning and said i am not feeling too well (a fib) her DH was home, she popped out to the Dr (another fib, she really walked around the block), she told her DD that the Dr had taken all her milk away to make her feel better and she never fed her DD again. She did mix up the night time routine and she had her DH put her DD to bed for the first couple of nights. Her DD did ask to nurse but she reminded her that the milk was gone and offered a cup instead. If you are going to wean slowly then i would start by stopping the overnight feeds and start getting him to put himself to sleep at the end of the day. So if you normally feed him to sleep i would try to keep him roused a little more each night so eventually he is wide awake and going to sleep all by himself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 There are no shoulds. :-) At his age, it probably wouldn't hurt to put him to bed at 8 or so (depending on your family's routine). When it's time for bed, it's time for bed, whether he has nursed or not. Personally, if my *toddler* woke in the night, I'd nurse her and put her back to bed (when they were little, I slept with her). The last nursing we gave up was first thing in the morning, 'cuz dd woke up a little earlier than I was willing to actually get up, lol. I also don't think you need to put a great deal of effort into the final weaning, because it will happen, guaranteed. :-) Congrats on nursing this long. I think you're doing great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 Morning nursing was the last to go at our house. It wasn't too long before they just walked right be me because they had things to do in the morning. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa in the UP of MI Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 Cuddling has worked well for me to get newly-night weaned kids to sleep. DD is at the stage where she nurses for a little bit, then I cuddle with her until she falls asleep. We started this because my milk supply is soooo low. With the other kids, I slowly moved from cuddling to sitting next to with an arm around them, to sitting next to, to leaving the room. I would do the same thing in the middle of the night. Daytime nursing was cut out based on their disinterest, though oldest dd had nursing sessions limited due to the birth of her brother. Oldest dd and ds just stopped. I would try to nurse them and they just wouldn't latch on. With youngest dd I'm at the point of don't ask, don't refuse. She doesn't ask very often anymore, except before going to sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn in OH Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 I just in the past few weeks weaned our 26 month old. We were down to nursing before bed, middle of the night and first thing the morning. I cut out the before bed nursing first. We changed our bedtime routine to include a snack, a cup of milk, tooth brushing, a story with cuddling and then bedtime. He did very well. About 2 weeks ago I stopped the middle of the night and first thing in the morning nursing. I had been considering how to do it when suddenly he slept through the night to 7:30 am without waking two days in a row. The third night when he woke up at 6 AM I brought him into bed with me (because there was no way he was going to let me go back to sleep if I didn't) but I told him we would cuddle and no nursing. He tried to convince me to change my mind but I stuck to my guns. The next night he woke up at 4 AM, same thing. The next night he made it to 7:30 AM again. Same routine. After about a week he learned that there would be no more mid-night go back to sleep nursing. I really think he was just using me as a human pacifier and didn't actually "need to nurse". We are on our second week of no nursing and he seems to understand it now. I had to do this now because I'm pregnant again and I need to be getting some sleep and get him over the midnight waking before the new baby arrives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted October 11, 2009 Author Share Posted October 11, 2009 (edited) Thanks so much everyone. I really need to be done. I have some medications that I need to take and he can't handle them. Besides, I need every ounce of nutrition I can get. I should have weaned him way before now. Edited October 11, 2009 by Lovedtodeath Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danybug Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 More of the same advice, but thought I would share. My ds is 27 months and we nurse when she is going to bed. She knows now that I only give her about 2 minutes each side and we talk about how it is for babies and she is a big girl, just to get the idea in her mind. I had to quit cold turkey on the middle of the night feedings a few months back. It took about a week of letting her wake up and cry it out. But she was basically asleep and just into the habit, so she soon slept through the night. But she also sleeps in bed with me (whole other bad habit :001_smile:). I guess I was lucky with all the other feedings, she just seemed to forgot about them in her new older busyness. I haven't pushed any of it really, because I so have loved nursing her but my dh has been gently nudging me to wean her. Anyway, best of luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 We night weaned the boys about a year before they weaned completely, and just went cold-turkey, soothing them in other ways if they woke in the night (they slept with us). Like Ellie said, there are no "shoulds". If you're needing to wean, then wean. You have a pressing need to do so, and the fallout will be short-lived and soon forgotten. (And, if your family is like ours, we agonize over how to do these things for weeks, months... and then the kids are like, meh, whatever.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Some great advice thus far. I have nursed 3 children beyond age 2. With my first, I had to actively wean him because it just hurt too much while I was pregnant and I really was not ok with tandem nursing. Like was mentioned before, the started giving up the nursings that he didn't need as much. I used the "don't offer, don't refuse" method for a while, with lots of distraction. I basically never sat down during the day:). Then I started limiting the time of the bedtime nursing. He slept through the night at this time so I only had the morning one to worry about. I would nurse him in the morning for a limited amount of time. With the others, we sort of let them self-wean - using the distractions to avoid too much public nursing (too many looks for nursing a child who could talk in complete sentences;).) For night nursings, I simply told them that I would cuddle them, but the "mommies" were sleeping. It didn't take long. Good luck and congrats on nursing that little one for so long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lakeside Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Is there any way that Daddy can put him to bed? That's what worked for us. Ds started asking for Daddy to put him to bed and we explained to him that if Daddy put him to bed there wouldn't be any milk. He was, amazingly, fine with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolally Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 (edited) with one of mine because of some health issues. It was tough! You are doing the right thing taking it slow if you can. You're getting some great advice here about doing it gently--I hope you're able to find one of these ideas that works. I wish I'd been able to use some of these ideas- Good luck! Keep up the gentle weaning and don't feel guilty about needing to get some sleep! =) Edited October 12, 2009 by homeschoolally posted before finished Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted October 12, 2009 Author Share Posted October 12, 2009 with one of mine because of some health issues. Even though he was well over a year old, I still feel terribly guilty about it to this day--and I'm not an very emotional person--(i saw it discussed on this board as a 'man' personality!) You're getting some great advice here about doing it gently--I hope you're able to find one of these ideas that works. Even now, years later, I still feel physically ill when I remember it and I wish I'd been able to use some of these ideas here. Good luck! Keep up the gentle weaning and don't feel guilty about needing to get some sleep! =) Same here with weaning DD. :( I was determined not to do it the same way. She was 19 months old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolally Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 =) I just came back and edited my post because I was afraid I would sound harsh and make you feel bad if you did have to wean 'cold turkey'--glad to see you didnt take it that way! I have baggage on the nursing issue, evidenced by the fact that I'm now making myself feel guilty because I'm worried I might make someone lse feel guilty. LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted October 12, 2009 Author Share Posted October 12, 2009 =) I just came back and edited my post because I was afraid I would sound harsh and make you feel bad if you did have to wean 'cold turkey'--glad to see you didnt take it that way! I have baggage on the nursing issue, evidenced by the fact that I'm now making myself feel guilty because I'm worried I might make someone lse feel guilty. LOL. :grouphug: Well, I have already done most of the weaning. No one seems to see that. :lol: So if I went cold turkey now, it still wouldn't be cold turkey. He only nurses to sleep at bed time and if he wakes up in the wee hours when we all need more sleep. 1-3 times per day. I gradually cut out morning, nap time and evening sessions already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alison in KY Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Can I first say congratulations on successfully nursing your child for 30 months, what a great boost to his health and a major achievement in the western world's anti-breastfeeding culture! I night weaned my 2nd child by simply telling her that from now on the breasts would be going to sleep overnight. The first night, she woke up and said "breast... oh, breast sleep" and went straight back to sleep without me even having to go over to her (at this stage she slept in a cot in our bedroom). So we went from several overnight feeds to one before bed and one in the morning instantly. Soon afterwards, she chose to move into her own bed and bedroom. I easily phased out the good morning breastfeed by offering breakfast soon after she woke up. The last thing before bed feed I was actually happy to continue as long as she wanted, but she decided to give it up herself. If you are happy to continue with the one evening feed, your child will stop asking for it eventually. If you feel that it's time to wean completely, I would work on developing a new bedtime ritual. You start by incorporating the breastfeed into a routine that includes lots of other things, eg stories, poems, songs, prayers, cuddles, kisses, saying goodnight to soft toys, etc whatever works. Then you start to put more emphasis on the other things and less on the nursing. If your child can already count, you can ask him to have 20 sucks, or whatever number you pick. Otherwise you can just shorten the time by saying it's time for the story or whatever, or saying the milk is ready to go to sleep now. If he is very resistant to dropping the breastfeed completely, you can introduce a special, "big-kid" warm milky drink as a substitute (preferably flavor the milk or milk substitute with something sugar free, like vanilla, so it doesn't damage his teeth, and give it to him in a cup, not a bottle). A weaning party or a special present can be a further encouragement. HTH Great advice here. I would keep up the bedtime nursing and stop the middle of the night feeding first. Then maybe stop the morning nursing by having some great toy or even (I know) a special TV show on first thing in the morning. Or, what I did, and honestly if I wasn't sore I wouldnt' have done this, is to rub...yellow mustard over my nipples. DD was right around 3 at the time. She didn't like the taste and I did an "Oh, honey, the boobies do that when they think you are a big girl and you don't need them anymore". It still broke my heart and I honestly don't know if I'd do it again, but my situation was different than yours, so don't feel bad doing what you have to do. And mostly, congratulations for nursing your little one for so long, what a great start on life it is. Alison Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted October 12, 2009 Author Share Posted October 12, 2009 Great advice here. I would keep up the bedtime nursing and stop the middle of the night feeding first. Then maybe stop the morning nursing by having some great toy or even (I know) a special TV show on first thing in the morning. Or, what I did, and honestly if I wasn't sore I wouldnt' have done this, is to rub...yellow mustard over my nipples. DD was right around 3 at the time. She didn't like the taste and I did an "Oh, honey, the boobies do that when they think you are a big girl and you don't need them anymore". It still broke my heart and I honestly don't know if I'd do it again, but my situation was different than yours, so don't feel bad doing what you have to do. And mostly, congratulations for nursing your little one for so long, what a great start on life it is. Alison LOL I love that idea! I have heard of putting cocoa powder on them because it is so bitter. Well, we have eliminated mornings by watching cartoons and eating fruit loops on my lap first thing. Last night at 5 AM he woke up and I just cuddled him. He wants to know I am there and not leaving, so he lays on my arm and pillow. It took a while to get him back to sleep, but it worked, no crying.:hurray: I think I will work on keeping up with only nursing him to sleep once in 24 hours and getting him to bed at a decent time, then have DH put him to bed this weekend to finish it off. I can't wait to call the doctor and get on some more stuff! One of my friends was over this morning and said that I am looking and acting so much better already. Yay! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tam101 Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 I have to congratulate you too for nursing so long. I weaned my son at about 25 months. For the last month we were down to just the first early morning session. That was the hardest for us because neither my son nor I are morning people! I didn't have the energy to deny him and he just wanted to cuddle. I joked that it was like his morning coffee. ;) Eventually, He was able to understand that it was time to stop and one morning looked at me and said, "no more?" I agreed and he never nursed again. Way easier then I thought it was going to be! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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