Moxie Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 I have an out-of-town friend coming through my town in June. I'm very excited to see her and her family again. The problem? She asked if they could sleep on our floor and (without thinking) I said yes. Only later did it occur to me (it occured to DH quite quickly) that that will make a total of 4 adults and 7 kids sharing a 1400 square foot, 1 bathroom house. We all have places to be by 8 AM the next morning. I just don't see how this could work. Plus, I like my privacy; I hate it when people see me in my jammies. My DH told me if they were staying here, he would take our kids and stay in a hotel (he was only half joking, I'm afraid). How do I get out of this without damaging the friendship? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 If it's just a space issue, I'd put some of your kids together...and give them a room. (All of them in one room). Of course, that's because when I was growing up...company just came and stayed with you.... That was the fun of it! On the other hand, do you have anyone you could borrow and RV from and park it on your property? My son would think it was great...a whole week that he could probably get away with p **ing outside.....(He's little) Carrie:-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Well, as a gal who had a 1000 sq.ft. home, with 5 kids and 2 adults, personally I'd just suck it up. Since you said you all have places to be by 8 a.m. the next morning, I'm assuming it's just one night? I'd probably allow the kids (obviously not the very littles-they'd be with me) to all camp out in our yard in a tent, then I'd give the adults my kids' beds. For just one night, it sounds completely manageable to me. If your dh is that strenuously objecting, though, I think your only option is to be very up-front with your friend, tell her your husband's concerns, that you hadn't thought it through, and that you're sorry for the inconvenience. Still, I'd resort to bribing my dh in order to get him to just roll with it for one night! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 If it's just one night I would let them stay. It's inconvenient but it's for such a short time and an easy way to show someone a lot of love. If it's longer or it's not an option to let them stay I'd just be honest. Say "I should have talked about this first with my husband. I wasn't really thinking because I wanted to say yes, but he pointed out to me that our house is really too small and it's just not going to work." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelly in VA Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 :iagree: If dh is strongly opposed to the idea, that has to be a deal-breaker. But in a previous 1200 square foot house, we once hosted my sil with her family and her friend's family (total of 4 extra adults plus 4 extra kids) when we had one child of our own. It was just overnight, and they were all on their way to a beach vacation. Yes, it was crowded and chaotic for the one night, but it was just one night, and it was kind of fun. I wouldn't want to lose the time together for 24 hours of inconvenience, kwim? Also, when I was in college, a large group of us vacationed one year in Florida and we all (I'm recalling 10-12 people) stayed with one friend's family. We slept all over the floor in sleeping bags and on air mattresses, but it certainly was gracious of those parents to host us. And that was for a week! Good luck with your decision. Shelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Tenting in the yard? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Is it warm enough where you live to throw a pup tent in the back yard and let the kids "camp"? Or, can all the kids sleep in one room and then borrow an air mattress for the parents? Also, I'd shower and bathe all kids the night before. For me, I can shower the night before if it's early enough for my hair to dry before going to bed, that eliminates one shower in the morning. Would that work for you or the other adults? However, if your dh is adamantly opposed to this, I'd have to tell the friends that you misspoke and that the arrangement wont work well and perhaps try to help them find an alternate place to sleep that night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Could you get an inexpensive motel room for them? One with a pool and all the kids can swim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 I think it would be rude to uninvite them. How long are they staying? I would just deal with it and enjoy the time with your friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazakaal Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Well, we are a family of 6 and last summer we had guests all the way from the end of June to the middle of September. It started with a group of 12 (10 adults and 2 kids), then 8 of the adults moved out, and the same day a family of 6 moved in. After a couple of weeks the family of 4 left and we just had our family and the family of 6. They stayed through the summer and for a couple of weeks in the middle of the summer we had a total of 21 people in the house: our 2 adults and 4dc, the 2 adult/4dc family that stayed for the summer, 2 single moms, each with 2dc, and the rest were single adults. And our house is about 1500 square feet with one half bath downstairs and one bathroom (meaning a bath, toilet, and sink - no shower) upstairs and a shower (just the shower by itself, in the corner of the room) in my bedroom. We survived. So I say, don't get too stressed and let them stay if it's only 1 night. You all will have fun. And you can put your jammies on right before getting in bed and change out of them as soon as you get up. It's only 1 night. Make sure the kids are all bathed the night before. Get up early to get your shower first, still leaving plenty of time for them to get showered. If you really don't want to do it, then just be honest and say that you spoke too soon and you really don't think it would work. I like the way that Alice put it. I don't know that you'll be able to avoid hurt feelings, though. Just try to be honest and hope and pray that they don't get offended. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
10Newtons Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Tenting in the yard? This is just what I was thinking...an adventure for the kids! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizzyBee Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 I have an out-of-town friend coming through my town in June. I'm very excited to see her and her family again. The problem? She asked if they could sleep on our floor and (without thinking) I said yes. Only later did it occur to me (it occured to DH quite quickly) that that will make a total of 4 adults and 7 kids sharing a 1400 square foot, 1 bathroom house. We all have places to be by 8 AM the next morning. I just don't see how this could work. Plus, I like my privacy; I hate it when people see me in my jammies. My DH told me if they were staying here, he would take our kids and stay in a hotel (he was only half joking, I'm afraid). How do I get out of this without damaging the friendship? I have a 1400 sf house w/ a dh and 3 kids. A few years ago, my youngest sister, her six kids, and my mom came to visit for about 5 days. I was kind of dreading it, but it went great. All of the boys slept in one bedroom, all of the girls slept in one bedroom, dh and I kept our bedroom, and my mom and sis slept on the sleeper sofa in the living room. We did as many showers as possible in the evenings to ease the congestion in the bathrooms in the morning. If the kids shower the evening before, they only have to get in the bathroom long enough to p** and brush their teeth; they can dress in the bedrooms. The adults coordinated shower times the night before so that everyone didn't get up and try to shower at the same time in the morning. Breakfast can be cold cereal, instant oatmeal, or fruit. And even if you have to get up extra early to get your shower before everyone else is up, at least it's only one night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 We all have places to be by 8 AM the next morning. Do you mean everyone, including your guests have places to be by 8 am? Or your family? If it's just your family that has to be somewhere by 8 (do you have to leave by 8, or be somewhere by 8?), then let your friend know, because they might have been thinking they could hang around in the morning before leaving. If everyone, including guests plan to leave by 8, then I'd still do it, just make-do with the sleeping arrangements, like previous posters suggested. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirtroad Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Go for it! You will have a blast! Put their comfort & welcome ahead of your family. Get your kids to bathe early & be sure all the towels/washcloths are clean and easy to find. Slide a bit of furniture to the wall, blow the dustbunnies aside, and let the kids CAMP in the living room or bedrooms. You will not regret opening your home to them. Haha... pj's.... sleep in a tshirt & shorts. You will be fine! Remember, large families used to share 900 sq feet and an outdoor potty! WE have it made!!!!!:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 (edited) I think it would be rude to uninvite them. How long are they staying? I would just deal with it and enjoy the time with your friend. :iagree: We had a small home years ago and hosted many families... often it was a blast to have them over! I used to be originally uptight about the mess, lack of privacy... but then got over it! (LOL) It is only for one night. Recently, we had a family live with us for 3 months in our 3,000 square foot home... and we survived! The friendship endured. You will survive this too. Put the kids in the living room as a camp out... they'll love it. Give the adult guests the kid's room to sleep in. Make it a movie/game night. Order out like pizza for ease and use paper plates, canned soda, dessert from a bakery, etc. Try to relax and enjoy! If you have to be at an appointment by 8 am -- have your guests leave via a back door or lock the front door and put the key under the doormat. I've done that before and the house was fine when we got back. Your gesture of hospitality will be remembered for years. Edited May 14, 2009 by tex-mex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 I guess I really don't understand what the problem is. My home in NC was only around 1500 sf (although we did have 2 bathrooms) and we *frequently* hosted friends and family for a week or more at a time (including friends with 2 or 3 kids). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieJ Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 I would go for it. However, you clearly are uncomfortable and so is your husband. There is nothing like staying at someone's home and wishing you were sleeping elsewhere! If you don't think it will work for your family (irregardless of whether it works for others or not) you should call your friend and tell her it just won't work. No regrets over it, it just doesn't work for you and that is enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 We have hosted family and friends in our 1500 sq ft house, and it just takes more planning than a big house with lots of bathrooms.:) The kids can bathe at night and perhaps a couple of adults can too, and then just have your kids clothes set out and a box of cereal bars or something set out for breakfast so that everyone can get to their destination on time. Personally if it were just for a night or two I would just suck it up and let them stay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 I would have no problem with that situation, as long as it was under a week. I can do a week of just about anything. If it's more than a week, maybe you could ask her if she can split the time between your place and somewhere else. If it's just one night, then I have no idea what the big deal is. I think you need to let your yes mean yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 I think it would be rude to uninvite them. How long are they staying? I would just deal with it and enjoy the time with your friend. :iagree: I love my privacy, too (not that I get it!) but since you've already said yes, it would be rude to back out now. Talk to dh and see if he can allow it just this one time, and chalk this up as a learning experience. Next time you won't answer until you check with dh. Space doesn't matter. It's the warm hospitality that does. I'd rather be crammed in a tight spot with warm hospitality than in a mansion where it didn't feel inviting. Denise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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