You know which institution in my community does the absolute BEST job of providing free resources to parents and children? The library. Our library is AMAZING. And they're always having to do battle just to keep the funding they have. They provide free English classes to kids and adults. They provide parenting classes. They provide tutoring. Parent-infant classes. And frankly, all these things are about more than just learning to read, or singing songs, or learning to discipline, or learning English. They are about being a member of a community, about having people (who AREN'T there to judge or report or legislate your behavior) to make eye contact with and talk to and receive support from. Sure, it's all voluntary, and thus misses out on some individuals. But given that it is also voluntary to comply with even the best laws (for the lawbreakers often make the calculation that it is worth risking punishment if they get caught), I'm on the side of supporting and encouraging families. I have a bad experience with the law on this, because in my family the seriously mentally ill, abusive sicko of a parent was extremely good at presenting a face of stability to the court and fooling everybody. Sometimes we have the tendency to forget that we are all human, capable of making errors-- including officers of the law, doctors, and CPS caseworkers-- and good parents need to be much, much more concerned about potential errors than bad ones. The parent I referred to above spent years taking in foster children, and that has made me terrified of having anything to do with the system. So keep on funneling my taxes to the libraries, and I am also a supporter of public schools, but unfortunately I think the latter often serves more as a symbol of the ways we're failing children as a society despite the good intentions of many caring individuals.

Worn thong underwear. (OTOH, I have worn what we called thongs growing up, which were flip-flops.)

It wouldn't, because most people are decent parents, and feed and love their kids, and occasionally make small and (in the long run) inconsequential mistakes that they worry about too much, and do the best they can. And we are all horrified for that reason.

Well, my knee-jerk assumption is that at some point, that person was in a gang or otherwise belonged to a subculture outside the mainstream that welcomed or invited those forms of expression. That is probably just because my sibling who has multiple tattoos in very prominent positions spent years in a gang many, many years ago and got them during that time. There are professions in which I would hope that the presence of facial tattoos (or any other features that make us "uncomfortable" and may not be elective) would not be a deterrent to hiring an otherwise qualified candidate. When I worked in publishing, I saw that many of my colleagues had tattoos. None on their faces, however. Frankly, I understand the practical nature of advising someone not to get tattoos based upon this reasoning, but I do think it discriminatory to make hiring decisions based upon whether or not we find someone's face pleasing to gaze upon. (For instance, there are certain dermatological features that could make looking at a person's face awkward or uncomfortable. My feeling is that in these cases, as with facial tattoos that are distracting, in our culture it's always acceptable to go straight to looking directly into their eyes. There is a person in there.)

Unless you have a kid who turns sullen and alternately careless/slow as molasses when given material that isn't challenging enough, in which case I agree IP and CWP are good alternatives.

So, the answer is, I think, nothing. She actually made a very good catch there, and if she were an editor or a professor, it would probably make her look more closely at the writer's work to see if there were more examples of similarity that was too close to be coincidental. If you write something that is directly inspired by a single piece of writing, whether or not you reword the sentence, you must note the source. If you are simply looking at a text and trying to say the exact same thing the author of that text says, even if you reword it, you should direct your readers to the person who originally made that argument. You're stealing someone else's work, even if it's the work of interpreting a jargon-y report. Plagiarism is about words and ideas. As others have pointed out, we'd have to read the report itself to truly know that the phrasing is ripped off from the secondary source, and is not the kind of phrasing that would come from the report itself (and be referenced in both places). But your daughter should know that she's found the kind of little turn of phrase that can set off a professor's alarm bells. On its own, it's not enough to cry plagiarism because we cannot know for certain that the second writer did it intentionally. But if it was intentional, the first source should have been attributed. If, instead of reading the primary source and interpreting it on his own, the writer read about the primary source and understood it through the interpretation of another secondary source, that other secondary source must be noted.

My husband had no privacy growing up. How shocked I was when he would do things like open my mail. Privacy to me is sacrosanct. The problem is not different opinions about what should and should not be private. The problem is when you say, "Hey, I don't like it when you look through my history and read my writing without talking to me about it first," and he says, "Hey, you're a lucky woman to be married to me, because I care enough to do that, and nice work, honey." That is not the appropriate response to someone saying they're annoyed. The appropriate response is, always, acknowledging that their feelings matter, even if you disagree and actually think you're pretty perfect and so how could anything you do bother anybody? I'm sorry that happened. I hope your guy shapes up. If he's snooping on here and reading this thread, I hope he'll let us know so we can have a good chat with him. It's not that his opinions and feelings don't matter. It's that his denial of yours is frustrating, and makes it hard to resolve the problem. I guess that's why we vent.

Call your teen's doctor this morning if there are any remaining symptoms (once all medication has worn off), even if he shrugs them off. It was the right call last night to let him rest and not go to the ER with those symptoms. Confusion after a head injury is normal. At least, this is all what our own doctor told me when I called her after my child hit her head last night. From one worried parent to another, hoping all is OK this morning. Head injuries are scary. And thanks to others who have posted their experiences.

There are social factors here that we're going to have to talk about, at some point, regardless of whether homeschooling is legal or not. Kids in my state can attend public school online. Many adults work from home. (I'm not sure whether the father in this case was working from home or not, but that can add to isolation.) People order their groceries and everything else delivered to their doorstep. They need never even look the delivery person in the eye. What kind of social mechanisms can we put in place to identify and prevent mental illness in an evolving culture that is so contrary to what humans really need, which is support and contact with other individuals, including the nosy neighbors whom we can't stand and the annoying in-laws who regularly drop in or call just to check on us? I think there are certain supports that have been enormously successful, and have nothing to do with legislation or punishment-- say, the home visits that a nurse or midwife might provide the family of a newborn. It sounds like people who do portfolios might feel like something like that is kind of analogous (if you have a good evaluator).

I have no idea what the neighborhood is like, but unfortunately (and not without reason), there are still groups in the U.S. that have strong mistrust for the police or aren't necessarily acculturated to the idea that the authorities will help. (And what else but fear and mistrust could have kept the adult children who were abused from seeking help at some point prior? This, of course, without good reason, and with evil intention.) It's a very sad case, and perhaps a reminder that the homeschool laws that deal solely with academic progress are leaving out one very important function of schools, which is to ensure that even abused children have habitual access to people (and ideas) unmediated by their abusers. Adults need those things, too, so that people notice if their mental health is declining. Mental health and happiness can be faked over Facebook (I mean, where some of you saw bad haircuts and weird matching outfits, I saw a type of style that isn't uncommon in a certain segment of the homeschool fringe).

In my (American) family we have always said "primmer", a pronunciation that my mom and grandparents heard at school. Having learned to read and spell from primers myself, I now wholeheartedly agree that it's an illogical pronunciation. But if I were to say "primer" with a long i to my mother, who taught me to read, she would likely be baffled and maybe even a little hurt. I've got another one that's a little like this, though: the surname of Richard Scarry. (Those who like following rules may assume correctly from what I've written above that, discarding logic, we pronounce it "Scary." It wasn't until I began having chats with other parents about our kids' favorite books that I realized some people find that weird, and worse than weird, wrong.)

Wow. That sounds disappointing. First off, while I am extremely forgiving and accepting of kids' bad behavior generally, I would be floored by the rudeness of a mother who tells me her kid found my class to be torture. What?!?! I mean, that is not even constructive. Second, I have no idea beyond the small detail you provided about what the classroom is like, and I know you have no control over it-- but I think a poorly designed, uncomfortable room can turn kids (and adults) off from a class. Third, I am no expert on classroom management, but one of the things I think new teachers sometimes forget to do (or at least, I forgot to do because I am shy and introverted and was focused on what I needed to say) is to spend a good amount of time just getting to know the kids and getting comfortable with each other and establishing the environment as a place where everyone is liked, valued, and respected. I mean, it's not at all productive in terms of accomplishing the agenda of the class, but when I think back to the classrooms I've been in as a student, one thing that sometimes confused me was how much time the teachers spent just chatting with us or letting kids waste everybody's time with their own personal anecdotes. But now that I've taught, I understand that those little chats actually were what enabled many of us to participate and engage with the teacher and see her as someone worth listening to. Maybe you did that. Maybe you already know all the kids' names and greeted them and asked them questions about things in their lives you know about before you got down to business. Maybe you all started off with friendly chit-chat. Maybe they're just kids with bad attitudes who don't want to be there. And that is truly discouraging-- I know my kids, when they enroll for a class that truly interests them, hate it when others are badly behaved. But at the same time, I do know my kids can be stinkers when something doesn't engage them. Oh, boy, do I know. (It's why I let them choose whether to take outside classes, and which ones to take.) But because I know them outside of that Stinker context, we can usually find a way around it together based upon our relationship. And while there's not a lot of time to establish that in a class setting, trying to skip it can end up wasting everyone's time even more. Hope the next class will go better. Honestly, it sounds like so much fun to me I'm hoping you'll share your lesson plans! My oldest would LOVE such an opportunity.

What we do isn't entirely interest-led -- I use a combination of SOTW and Core Knowledge read-alouds to give them a general outline of Things That Happened, but how long we linger on each topic, how many related books we read, what projects we might do, and any rabbit trails, are (mostly) up to them.

If you have a good library and can search by tltle and filter to "Juvenile," you might be able to see a few abridged versions with illustrations. These books tend to be a bit harder sell for my kids (maybe I'm alone), so I generally get the ones available, make sure none is absolutely horrible, and let them vote which we read. (And yes, even with the abridged version, I usually end up doing it as a read-aloud at this level.)

In no particular order, a book list: Knots on a Counting Rope by Bill Martin Jr. Hello Goodbye Dog by Maria Gianferrari Chang and the Bamboo Flute and Bird Boy by Elizabeth Starr Hill Just Because by Rebecca Elliott The Hickory Chair by Lisa Rowe Fraustino Nathan's Wish by Laurie Lears The Storm by Marc Harshman The Jazz Man by Mary Hays Weik The Prince Noah books by Silke Schnee Mandy Sue Day by Roberta Karim What Color is the Wind? by Anne Herbauts My Friend Isabelle by Eliza Woloson Look Up! by Jung Jin-Ho The Moses books by Isaac Millman Perfect by Nicola Davies Zoom! by Robert Munsch My Pal, Victor by Diane Bertrand Gonzales My Three Best Friends and Me, Zulay by Cari Best King for a Day by Rukhsana Khan Junkyard Wonders by Patricia Polacco And El Deafo is indeed one of my 7 year old's favorite books ever.

I think we all tend to curriculum hop when something really isn't working. So, if our child suffers with that subject, it can be hard to tell whether the curriculum hopping is the problem, or is just a symptom of the problem. (As with the changing curricula and standards in public education-- I think they're symptoms of a greater problem, but as someone who grew up with teachers who largely worked fairly independently of curricular requirements, I'd say that greater freedom, not stauncher adherence to a specific curriculum, is a good thing.) Often, when I find myself wanting to curriculum hop (and I don't mean a reasonable change to something that is a better fit for my child, I mean an unreasonable quest for The Curriculum that will not just make my children intuitively comprehend All the Things there are to know about a subject, but also LOVE and DELIGHT in learning that subject), it's because spending money is easier than admitting: I just don't enjoy teaching this subject that much. My child really struggles with this. My child is good at this, but doesn't care about it. My child would rather play Legos no matter how much effort I put into things. I'm bored and crave more mental stimulation. Those are problems, either my children's problems or just things I need to deal with already (like the Lego thing). The curriculum hopping is just a symptom. If I use it as a way to avoid addressing any of the above, yes, curriculum hopping will probably result in my kids receiving a substandard education.

Caffeine is a drug. I've found it has been extremely effective for my (mild) depression. And that's at just 2-3 cups a day of cold brew coffee. (Along with the squares of dark chocolate that are the daily due of any hard-working parent.)

My daughters insist on wearing a matching "uniform" daily. Of course, it consists of a pajama top and leggings, and has nothing to do with taking school seriously. I've noticed some people seem to take clothing very seriously (like FlyLady and her whole outfit and shoes in the house thing), and if your daughter is one of those people ,this would certainly help her. But if she is like me, maybe what would help her is getting to do her schoolwork in a beanbag with some essential oil diffusing and thermos full of tea. I've never been able to work in ways that other people consider Taking It Seriously- it gives me stomach pains and makes me depressed. Give me pants with an elastic waistband and a big window and I do my best thinking, which often might appear to others to be gazing out the window at a tree. Skip this part, because you just asked about uniforms, if you want, but...is it possible your daughter's impulse not to take some of what you're asking her to do seriously actually a good sign that she is a happy, healthy kid? Because, honestly, I grew up in a family that had a thing about wearing uniforms to school and being self-disciplined and serious from a young age...and I kind of wish they'd waited until I was past the age of puberty, at least, to insist upon those things. Childhood is about taking things lightly.

That's so disappointing. I have only looked at a few science programs and workbooks, and have not seen CLE, but those that I've seen are disappointing in early elementary. Maybe they don't have errors (although many do), but they contain information that is so basic, they're busywork. And science, I would argue, is the worst subject for busywork, because pretty much everything a little kid does in the way of experiencing the world is a more scientific experience than sitting at the table filling in blanks. The good thing about the animal interest is that there are so many beautiful and fantastic children's books on this theme. If your daughter is a strong reader, why not give her a pile to choose from and work from there? I love using the NSTA book list. If you have a decent library, that can save you from spending any more on science this year. I've found that when my kids are enthusiastic about a subject, I don't need to do things to help them retain the information, but you could always have her do some narration or copywork with these books (with an illustration if she enjoys drawing animals) and have her make a notebook of that. I have a friend who is always reminding me that at this age, the most important thing to retain is enthusiasm for a subject and curiosity, not facts (a reminder I clearly need), which seems especially true when it comes to science. (But hey-- that doesn't excuse a curriculum for making so many errors!)

I gained the freshman 50. Then I lost it without really trying, once I wasn't in a junk-food-is-everywhere, never-get-enough-sleep environment. I was also very athletic, which gave me an appetite I've never since been able to regain. I was also the happiest and most self-confident I've ever been in college, despite weighing 175 pounds. Maybe I was also the most beautiful (because: happy and confident. And young. Sigh). If you notice your daughter seems sad or upset, you mention that. You focus on a particular incident or a concrete example that is recent. You mention what you noticed and maybe say you're worried, but if she doesn't volunteer any feelings or doesn't want to talk about it, that's up to her. Right now, actually, I am about to go call my mom and thank her for never once mentioning my weight gain. It must have been very hard for her. (She is vegan with a strong bias toward orthorexia who erred on the side of frequently telling my anorexic sister that she looked great when she was a walking skeleton. If she can do it, anyone can.)

Oddly, I find that accommodating my kids' need to play with me or spend time with me actually makes them more likely to play happily with each other afterward. It's the exact opposite of the advice I would have given, but...if I get down on the floor with my 2, 4, and 7 year olds and am present for an activity (not leading, but following directions and making observations and being as enthusiastic and supportive as I can), this seems to jazz them up a lot and get them excited about playing together. ETA: May I send my 7 year old to play endless games of Life with your child? It is a bonus if this can be followed by several rounds of Guess Who.

Gee, it's always nice when people bring up their concerns that we homeschool parents might be a wee bit stressed out, or that our kids might not be developmentally normal, or that we're not giving our kids enough individual attention, because those are things we would never think to worry ourselves about, at all. Ever. Statistically speaking, it is well within the realm of possibility that you have spent as much 1:1 time with your preschooler than your FIL has spent with any of his adult children in the course of their lifetimes. (OK, I may exaggerate, but seriously. Have you seen those studies that tally how much time fathers have historically spent with their kids? Or even mothers? More importantly, has your FIL???) So I JAWY. The ideal in-law (or relative) is supportive and non-judgmental, and if he is genuinely concerned, I think it would be fair to bring up these worries with both of you. Or just to be the best grandfather ever, because that is worth A LOT. In fact, isn't the tried and true way of healing from all your parenting regrets and mistakes becoming a wonderful grandparent who accepts that other parents will make different choices and might even make a few mistakes?

Rereading is definitely something that happens in my house when a kid is shut in a room for an hour or two during quiet time with just the old, familiar bookshelves. One other way we enjoy "rereading" books is by listening to the audiobooks-- we all pick up things we didn't during a second "reading," first listening. We definitely re-listen to audiobooks. I can't really see assigning it, but that might just be because that might be a quick way in my house to turn an old, familiar friend into something less friendly. (FWIW, I still freeze when asked what my favorite book was, or the last book I read. I often blank on names and titles. Or I worry that the answer will make me sound vapid, or pretentious, or boring, or like I'm pulling a name of a lengthy classic out of my memory in an effort to sound impressively learned. And I'm much more self-confident than I was at 17, so hopefully that response was not a true reflection of your niece's reading habits!)

No suggestions, just coming clean here: I am a member of the Pushed My Oldest Too Hard Club and also the Younger Kids Had Increasingly Large Amounts of Screentime Club, and what you are doing does not yet make you valid for membership yet, with the note that of course all are welcome. (We have an offshoot for Feeding the Baby Foods I Never Would Have Thought I'd Ever Even Permit in My House to Keep Him Happy Anonymous, but I'm not saying I'm a member of that.) In other words, I am inclined to the "guilt tripping yourself for no reason" side of things. And if your kids seem reasonably happy with the set-up most of the time, enjoy it. The fact that you are stressing about your kids spending too much time doing Reading Eggs (!) should tell you that you are a conscientious parent indeed. (I have 2 who learned to read from that program, by the way. Time well spent!)

Let me preface by saying that I have zero tattoos and zero piercings. But knowing me, if one of my kids wants a tattoo for an 18th birthday gift, I will get really into it, become obsessed with researching designs and potential locations, weigh the merits of various tattoo studios, and finally decide I want a tattoo too...wait, wait, should we get matching tattoos? Wouldn't that be awesome? and thus completely and totally turn my child off from ever, ever getting a tattoo. And my kid will be agonizing over whether or not to pay for a tattoo for midlife crisis Mom's birthday gift. Seriously, I should note that I initially thought "no!" even though I generally admire (meaningful) body art, but after reading through the thread, decided my gut reaction was off.