Petty vent I know, but with other much much bigger bad stuff going on that I can't vent about, I'm going to say how irritating some of the kids in DS's Scout Troop are, and he has to work directly with two of the most annoying! He's SPL and his ASPL is a nightmare -- whiny, sucks up to the adults, tries to boss DS and acts generally like DS is his to order around. I monitor DS's WhatsApp and emails (he's only 13) and have had to step in a couple of times behind the scenes to help DS shut down this kid's rudeness. And it's the beginning of the term. Plus DS has been told to work with a very young junior ASM who is even worse. Spent a few days on a hike with this boy in October and he was, literally (and I mean literally), ordering much older and much more senior adults to stay hydrated (Mrs X, have you drunk water on this rest stop? You need to drink water now) and how to hike (Mr Y, you need to put away your camera or it will bump the side of that descent/Mrs Z, hand down your walking poles to me now). Trying to ignore it but it's soooo annoying. And of course the parents think their kids can do no wrong and are part of the problem. Argh.

If you can get a taxi (should book one in advance (through Addison Lee) to be sure of it) and get to the start point, you can do a London Walk https://www.walks.com/our-walks/walks-by-date/?d=2019-12-25 This seems to be offered only on Christmas Day. Here's a link to transport info for Christmas: https://tfl.gov.uk/status-updates/major-works-and-events/christmas-travel

I'm pretty sure I saw your question 2 posed recently on an email list serv I'm part of but can't locate the exact email. I believe the solution was to have the LOR writer send that particular recommendation directly to the school, and have the other recs from that writer made generic and uploaded through the Common App. As for 1, it's the recommender who uploads the rec, so pretty sure you would not be able to decide not to use the rec once invited. I'd say start very early with recommenders as some of them don't upload until super-late and it's super-stressful! As for 3, I'm not sure but on the basis that the grades/academics are the most significant criteria in admissions, I would say pick people who can speak to your DC's academics. I would avoid having three recommenders who are community leaders/other who can speak only to your DC's extracurriculars, or leadership skills, or music/sport talent. I think the school is trying to avoid situations where the recommenders says, gee DC was in my non-live online class, turned in the papers on time, did a good job on the test, but I've never had a convo with them irl. So if your online class was live, and DC had significant interaction with the teacher, I'd go with the online teacher and be sure the teacher gets the point to emphasize the personal interaction with DC that have allowed them to get insight into DC's abilities, outside of assignments and tests. I hope that makes sense! I think the key point is to ensure that the recs are balanced in terms of the insight the recommenders can give into your DC's talents, personality and ability, and that at least one (preferably two) speak to their academic abilities. But ofc that would be possible with ECs -- a recommenders could say, well DC volunteered many hours for our project and showed a real flair for writing well and persuasively.

I would appreciate an invite. I has two 21 yos and an 18 yo to contribute.

That just seems outrageous to me -- and most of those absences could have been known well in advance! I can see how this would be extremely annoying from the prof's perspective, and I imagine you and other profs have had to deal with many half-baked excuses for absences over the years. DD has a friend who regularly missed class because she just didn't feel up to it and got doctor's notes for that, for example, whereas DD doesn't miss class very much at all. Seems like it would make sense to crack down on those absences, perhaps through making it more difficult to get excused by requiring more paperwork to be filed. One place where my kids were in school for elementary had very clear policies about absences that set out when students could be away (religious holidays, weddings for close relatives only, serious illness/death of close relatives, etc). Anything else when to the truant officer. In terms of fair, one thing DD has said is that it doesn't really make sense to have a required senior seminar in the fall of senior year, when many students will be busy with interviews and so on. There's no option to take the class at any other time, and the timing of the class is such that travel on other days is very difficult. She's going to do an op ed piece for the school paper and will try to work with some student-athletes, and her intent is to start a discussion about establishing a uniform and fair policy, based on actual facts around missing class. Seems to me personally the med schools and grad schools could also work more effectively by spreading out interviews a bit more perhaps, so that students aren't doing half a dozen interviews in one month. In any event, I agree that the problem is bigger than just one prof being a pain and needs addressing to ensure both teaching staff and students are treated fairly. It's also crazy to me that DD has to miss so much class when she really doesn't want to miss class at all!

My 13 yo boy took great offense last night when I sent him back to retake his shower, with soap this time. Because apparently rinsing with water is enough to get off summer grubbiness. And when I told his 18 yo brother, 18 yo said, oh yeah I remember water-only showers; I did that all the time.

I'm not sure how student-athletes who are serious students manage, tbh. Kudos to your daughter! Having spent a bit (a lot) of time talking and thinking about the whole issue of class conflicts with other obligations, I'm starting to think that there has to be a better way to manage this, or at least that there has to be a policy that sets out guidelines. The way this is playing out at DD's school isn't fair to students or professors. DD has contacted the editor of the student paper, and he's asked her to do an op ed piece. I think she'll use that as a platform to advocate for a fair and uniform policy to address absences. She's hoping to get a student-athlete involved in the writing, to present multiple sides of the issue.

A (hopefully) positive update -- DD emailed several other professors in the department, who know her well, and one went and spoke with the recalcitrant prof on her behalf. He has suggested that DD try again to speak with the prof and thinks that the prof will now be more understanding (would love to have overheard his convo with the prof!). It's no guarantee, but it's a step in the right direction. She could in theory still drop the major but that also means not doing her thesis, and she is very attached to her topic and has been looking forward to it. Meanwhile, neither of the deans I emailed has responded, nor have the other two administrators. Grrr.

Thanks all. She's been in touch with the premed advisor, who is abruptly leaving the end of September. No new advisor is in place as of yet; the school is apparently interviewing candidates. She offered to discuss with the professor but the response from the prof was both very clear and very rude. Unfortunately, she has to take the class and it's not offered in the spring. It's a seminar and required for all seniors -- DD tried her best to get out of it earlier because the prof doesn't have a great rep and because the seminar subject is highly political, with a very clear bent on the part of the prof and little room for debate. She may have to drop comp lit, but she loves it and is excited about doing her comp lit thesis, which she wouldn't be able to do if she dropped comp lit. She has more than enough classes for the major; it's just that this one is required. If necessary, she will, though, and we'll get the school to send a letter to the med schools explaining the situation. We've sent multiple emails to various profs and deans, and I think (hope) that action will be taken. It's ridiculous that a student's ability to attend med school interviews should depend on the whims of a professor. Not to mention the fact that athletes get to miss class for games all the time, but my kid is being told not to attend her interview at Harvard Med School?

Please JAWM. I'm ranting here because I need to offload but may regret putting this on FB. DD is a senior at Williams College and is premed, with majors in Chinese, chemistry and comp lit. She is the only senior applying to med school this year. So far she has eight interviews, including Top Ten schools. She doesn't get to pick the dates, usually, and is just told when to show up (or maybe given a choice of a couple of dates). We've already spent a small fortune on arranging flights and so on. I think she'll be getting more interviews. DD also has to take a required comp lit seminar for the major. She emailed the prof, very politely, explained the situation (that she will need to miss class) and offered to do extra work outside of class and so on. Prof emailed back saying she would allow two excused absences and no more. She was pretty rude, imho. Because of the timing of the class, the fact that the nearest airport is Albany and the fact that these interviews are all over the country (hello UCSD), DD is going to have to miss several of these seminar classes, definitely more than two. She's not happy about that but it's not like she's choosing to miss class for fun. DD got in touch with one of the deans and asked the dean to mediate between her and the professor to find a solution. The dean basically said, yeah, nothing I can or will do, you have to choose between med school interviews and class. Essentially, the school's policy on missing class for med school interviews is that it's entirely up to the professor. DD is extremely upset as am I (especially since we've already shelled out for plane tickets). One possible solution is for her to drop the comp lit major, but she really doesn't want to do this, and this would mean sending updates to all the medical schools, which would look bad. I'm getting involved as DD has asked for my help and because we will, if necessary, file legal action against the school. We're now writing to various deans and profs to ask for help. But boy am I furious that a school that lays claim to one of the most successful med school acceptance rates in the country treats one of their outstanding candidates in this way. DD also checked with a couple of athlete friends who said that athletes get to miss a lot of class, which only makes me angrier. Rant over. But premeds applying to Williams, beware.

This is not directly relevant, but my DD (in a university of around 6,000 undergraduates) has said that homeschooling has helped her adjust. She thinks she is more independent than other students because of homeschooling and this has made it easier for her to reach out to professors, different departments and so on. If she wanted to take a grad level class, she just went ahead and sorted it out. If a class she wanted wasn't offered, she found others who were interested and arranged it. She said that being a homeschooler gave her the confidence to do this as well as the attitude of "of course this should be possible". In terms of small schools, other DD is in a tiny school in the middle of nowhere. It does have a good international population, however. Most of her friends are international or TCKs or immigrant kids. DD is a TCK who hadn't lived in the US since she was five. She does get a bit frustrated by American kids who don't get or want to get the international angle, which is why I think she gravitates toward other internationals.

Most Fridays are movie and order-in night. On Sunday mornings I will make a nice breakfast, depending on who's home. I think a board game night would be fun to add to that too. We started a summer "tradition" (at least, I'm determined to make this a tradition lol) a few years ago when I asked (forced) the kids to write down a short list of things they wanted to do in the summer. We write them on a poster or similar (this year it's a paper bunting) and hand it on the inside of the front door. Then we pick and choose the ones we want to do, depending on who is home, who is at camp, who is working etc. This year I asked for four things, in categories -- food/restaurant, indoor game, somewhere in our area that we have never been and other. It doesn't have to be at all fancy. DS12 put down family Mario Kart tournament, someone else put down going for dim sum, I put down a board game I like. Not everything gets done and not everyone does everything, but it's helpful to have an immediate go-to when we find ourselves with unexpected time.

Here's a good version of the Abbey's Adeste Fideles from a few years ago, when DS was in the choir.

You might find some ideas here: https://usagapyearfairs.org/programs/ While a lot of these are pay to play, I am pretty sure scholarships are available for some. A couple of points to consider -- would it make more sense to take a gap and apply to colleges during that year, or to apply now and defer? The advantage to applying during the gap year is applying on the strength of senior year grades and activities as well as the gap year activities. He would also have a lot more time to devote to the applications themselves, which is an advantage. Some schools may also not allow a deferral so you would need to check before applying. The advantage to applying now is certainty about the year after the gap year. He may also be able to tailor some of his gap year experience to dovetail with college requirements or intended extracurriculars. My DS announced in November last year, in the middle of application season, that hey he would actually like to do a gap year and apply to only a handful of schools. Argh. He found a job in February and will be working in a school as a sort of teaching assistant. As it's boarding, he will be living in, with full room and board, and a bit of a salary. In his case, he really wants to have the experience of a job and earning money, and this fits the bill. Other ideas would be for your DS to work for a few months, save up the money and then travel or take an intensive language class. There's quite a few programs for gap years that are a few months long, so he could possibly earn money in the fall/winter and then enroll in a summer program, for example.

Well done Calvin! I don't know where he's looking for work or what field, but if he is looking in London for anything legal/finance, please feel free to pm me if you like. Happy to see whether any of my contacts would be willing to do an informational interview with Calvin or suggest openings.

My 12 yo is reading/has recently read Elizabeth Enright, Helen Cresswell, Chris Bradford (Young Samurai), some Terry Deary, The Peterkins, is listening to The Five Little Peppers (somewhat out of character for him but hey) and just this week discovered Judith Kerr's When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit, which he liked so much he bought the next two books with his own money.

I like the app Noom and the Lesley Sansone walking videos, largely because it doesn't take that long to walk a mile and she's cheerful (maybe too cheerful). I have an Apple watch and like tracking my miles and steps through the day and I like to set mini goals for the day and make sure I meet those. But it's all about what will work for you, so I would suggest trying a few things to see what helps.

The Mount Vernon website has a number of free videos to watch: https://www.mountvernon.org/video

Further to my comment above, I just rewatched Ethan Sawyer's video on writing a Super Essay, as he calls it, in which he dissects one essay to show how it can be used for multiple prompts and purposes. The video should be available on his site College Essay Guy, and I think it's free (I don't recall paying for it).

Getting essays done (at least in draft form) proved to be a sanity-saver later on. DS did a Common App essay draft as well as a draft of a second essay of a similar length. His "thing" is music and history, and so he wrote the Common App about his music, and the second essay about his interest in history. The second essay was not in response to a particular prompt but was focussed on his intellectual development and highlighted what he has done in high school re history (summer classes, papers written, etc). He also wrote short essays focusing on two additional extracurricular activities, with a view to highlighting community involvement and leadership. Again, these were not in response to particular prompts. Once he started the applications in the fall, he was able to revise each of these essays with only minimal effort to respond to each college's prompts. It helps if the second big essay is written in a somewhat modular form, allowing a sort of mix-and-match approach later on. DS had a super-busy fall and said to me several times how glad he was that I'd forced him to work o the essays (and it was pretty much forced, lol, because I took him on a college tour for two weeks and every evening I'd sit him down in the hotel or wherever we were and tell him to write). It is not necessary, imho, to have all of the prompts as it's quite possible to get four essays in draft form that can then be put to use for the apps. Also, if you're doing music or arts supplements, summer is a good time to figure out what you're doing and how you'll do it.

Have you tried the Cialfo extension to Chrome? It allows you to type in the name of the school and produces a list of the essays that are required. I'ts not updated yet, I think, but it might give you an idea. No need for a login or anything. Also, on recs, we had an international application process in which recommenders were not accustomed to the American style of recommendation. We found a third party to review the recommendations and get back to the recommenders directly with comments -- mostly things like, start the first paragraph with a description of how long you've known the student, etc. We were able to convince the recommenders to do this by saying that the process was very different for these schools etc. The reviewer did not write the recommendation, but helped "translate" the comments into a format that the schools were accustomed to seeing.

Thanks for the info. We've been home-edding for quite a few years now, with a break between DCs. For a variety of reasons, it's going to have to be full online school and do "after school" activities with schooled children I think. We have not, in all our years of home-edding, found a compatible group that DS can spend time with so we're reverting to more of a school model. I did have a chat with CHS and discovered that they want a commitment to pay a full year's fees, which is way out of line with normal independent schools' requirements (one term's notice). When I pointed this out, the guy I spoke with said it's because CHS produces such good results. Except they don't have GCSE/A-level figures because students take these as independent candidates. So we're steering well clear of them.

How certain are you about receiving or not receiving financial aid from these schools? I assume you've looked at the estimated family contribution and run the numbers, but have you also looked into the possibility of merit aid (that is, whether any of these school award merit aid automatically, etc). Does your state have reciprocity agreements with other states that would make their state universities affordable? Generally I would say that five schools is not enough if you need a lot of financial aid; on the other hand, if the community college is definitely affordable and will get your DS where he wants to be in the long run, then five schools would be fine. I think you need to consider very carefully what the path from community college would be though. As a transfer student, would your DS be eligible for financial aid (need-based or merit-aid)? How easily would the credits transfer? What are the agreements in place between the community colleges and the schools he would consider transferring to, if there are any? I just wonder whether it might make sense to cast your net a bit wider to get your DS a solid financial aid package from the beginning, but that depends on your financial situation and other kids and so on.

For a variety of reasons, I've decided that DS12 should do online school next year. Initially I wanted to him to follow the US curriculum, but since we live in the UK, and would like live classes, it makes more sense to do a UK school. Does anyone have experience with Interhigh, CHS, Briteschool, Netschool or Myonlineschooling that they could share? He did a three-day trial at CHS, which went well, but they want the full year's tuition with no possibility to leave midyear, not even with a term's notice. It's expensive, and that policy is out of line with every other private school in the UK that I'm aware of. So I'm putting him in Myonlineschooling for the rest of the summer term (because he needs to do something) but would really like to hear from anyone with experience of these other schools.

We're in the UK and cannot wait to leave, and the schools are one of the main reasons. The independent sector suited DS1, but DS2 has hearing loss and mild ADHD. He was routinely seated at the back of the class. If he wanted a seat near the front, he would have to run to class (they switched each subject) to get a seat in the front. If these were full (boys liked to take them so he couldn't sit there), he would ask for a switch and the kids would tell him he didn't have a hearing problem at all. He was called "ret&&** Chinese" "flatface" and all sorts of things by other kids. He ran up the stairs with his buddies once and was told the three of them were the worst-behaved kids in school. When I confronted the teacher, he admitted it. His hand got slammed in a door by another boy (required X-rays) and the teacher blamed him because he was waving his school tie at the boy. I could go on. This is why many people in the UK homeschool, and why so many do not want registration. We would be subjecting ourself to inspection by the same system that has abysmally failed our children. They can't even run schools properly; how could they supervise homeschool? Here's another example. I took DS to the ER a few weeks ago for a hurt finger. Once the GP found out that we homeschool (we had to write it on the intake form), she asked many, many intrusive questions. She then consulted with someone else and came back to tell us she had reported us to our local government (in charge of welfare and schools) because my son was homeschooled. She told us it was the law that children unknown to the local council be reported. I know of other families who have been visited and cold-called by government officials demanding information about their homeschool. I'm a lawyer, so she picked the wrong mom, lol. I filed a complaint with the hospital and have received a verbal apology, as the GP was bang out of line. I am chasing the written apology. The poor hand surgeon to whom we were referred a week later got an earful from me when she dared ask "how's school". Turned out she was pro-homeschool. Anyway, long story to say that while I personally have no issue with registration or even supervision (to a degree), I do have major issues with the attitude of the government to homeschoolers here in the UK and no confidence at all that anyone in the educational department would be able to do the job.