DD is an RA in a freshman dorm this year and, last year, was in an upperclassman dorm in a similar capacity. I think the RA has been a bit of a disappointment as it has involved a lot of training and takes quite a bit of time, but has limited upside. She's responsible for weekly meetings and for coordinating activities, which she likes generally. In terms of downside, she had to be on campus quite early in the school year, meaning that she had quite literally less than a week truly off from school over the summer, between classes, jobs and internships. There was a lot of training! There's no pay or any sort of discounted fees, so it's done just because you like it or because it looks good on your cv. Initially she didn't even get a decent room -- the room was tiny and didn't have a closet or a place to hang clothes (I made her complain and she got a decent room as a result). I think the view is that RAs at her school do quite a lot of work but don't get a lot of benefits for the work they do. I'm sure this varies considerably from school to school, though. One thing I was concerned about was liability for the freshmen, in terms of alcohol and drug use and so on, but RAs at her school at least have no liability for freshman bad behaviour.

DD1 is a premed junior at a college that has one of the highest rates of med school acceptance. She's majoring in comp lit, with minors in Chinese, chemistry and possibly classics. Apparently it if starts with a c, she'll major in it. The advice she's been given is that, in addition to doing well in premed classes, med schools like to see students who have studied social sciences/humanities and also like students who are proficient in languages such as Spanish and Chinese. She's done research and had an internship at a hospital. According to the premed advisor, she's on the right track. What I've gathered is that it is helpful to be at a school with a higher than average rate of acceptance to med school, good premed advising and opportunities for internships/research. Since DD1 is at the start of the process, however, probably best to check this advice with people who have btdt!

There's also family surnames as first names. Elder DS has a surname for his first name, as do several other uncles/cousins. Its started a few generations ago when the mother's maiden name was given to her second son, and then the name became frequently used in our family. I've seen this naming convention elsewhere too.

Is your goal to go for speed or design? DSs and I managed fine for a few years with a basic saw and a drill, but the goal was having the fastest not funkiest car.

I'm impressed by your DCs who are getting in their applications! DS got his early in, and seems to have decided that there's absolutely not rush, whatsoever, and he can take his sweet time to complete the apps for the other 14 or so schools on his list. No rush. Plenty of time over the Christmas holidays. It's not even like he would definitely attend his early if he were accepted because he has a list of schools he would nonetheless apply to. His sisters have been telling him that this is a terrible approach; I've told him this. But he's at boarding school, school does pretty much zero to help other than send materials, and my ability to force him to sit down to do the apps is limited because of distance. But he'll be home this weekend ....

You may have seen this already, but Cialfo does a web extension that pulls all the essay requirements for any college if you just type in the college name. We did a search then copy and paste for each college DS is applying to into a main document so they're all together. It's free and IME accurate. So much easier than going through the Common App or the college websites.

So DDs were homeschooled for high school and not once did I get a negative comment like so many get about homeschooling. I knew a few friends who probably didn't "approve", but they had the courtesy not to say this. So I never really practiced my pass the bean dip approach. Then last night I was totally blindsided at Scouts by a Scout mom who is rarely there (older Scout who is close to Eagle but can't be bothered to finish up) who asked DS12 how school was going (her son attended the same school DS left when he was that age). DS12 says no, I left X school and am homeschooled. That prompted a near-rant from this mom about how I couldn't do this because the poor kid needs to socialise and be with friends and why on earth couldn't I find another school? So I said I can't afford the private schools at that level and the school he had been in was fairly cheap. She said surely there must be another school and why not public school? So I said I live in a crappy neighbourhood and the schools are horrible. She said what about School X, which I've never heard of, or what about the selective publics that are about an hour or so away from us? Well, kids are tutored for years to get into these. No way DS would get in and plus he's missed the deadlines. But she wouldn't stop! She just kept pushing and demanding that there could be a school! I finally said no school will ever take him because he has an ed psych report saying he's ADHD. When she wouldn't stop I finally lost it and said well DDs were homeschooled and they're at [name of prestigious college 1 and prestigious college 2] so they turned out okay. Not something I'm proud of bragging about. I need to learn to stop these conversations or at least avoid this mom. I now feel horrible for having had to admit in public that I (single mom, four kids) cannot afford private school, don't live in the fancy expat area and have a kid with SN. It's a very wealthy Troop, and I do okay financially (weird financial situation) but am not paying private school fees for a crappy school when my DS can do better at home, even though it's super-difficult having him home and working. Thanks for putting up with the rant -- I don't think I will need to deal with her often in the future, thank goodness, but will make a point to think of a way to deflect the conversation.

We use Qustodio. It was working great until DS12 managed to disable the VPN (he's not very computer-savvy so I was not expecting this) this morning while I was at work. I got a notification from Qustodio that the app was disabled, which is something I like about Qustodio -- I get notifications if things aren't happening the way they're supposed to be. Apparently there is a way to prevent the VPN from being disabled, so I'll look into that. I ended up locking the iPad from work and adding a message to him on the lock screen. If your DS is working with you on this, then you may not need to hide the app or ensure that he cannot disable the VPN. I like Qustodio pretty well and it is highly rated. I can configure it for times DS can be on the iPad as well as configure it to block/allow certain websites or categories of websites. I did read that NetNanny can block bad language though, and might have a look to see if that's a better fit.

DS17 was finally able to record the second two of his four pieces this afternoon, thank goodness. Now I get to piece together video and audio so he and his teacher can decide which takes are acceptable (DS is very non-techy so I'm helping with this). One essay is in good shape thanks to a colleague of mine who gave it a review and pointed out inconsistencies and bits that didn't make sense, which DS has now fixed. Common App essay still needs work and don't get me started on the other essays. Favorite snack? Really? Does anyone care? I don't even know what DS's favorite snack is. Music deadlines are all different and don't match up well with regular deadlines. And DS hasn't settled on his early school yet either, so is working toward having three apps ready by the early deadline so he can pick at the last minute. DS12 has been hearing so much about college lately that he is discussing with me where he will apply early, and what's the difference between ED and EA .... So I agree with the general sense of argh.

Long story short, I work three days a week at a fairly demanding job. I have to check in on my days off as well. I'm a single parent and xdh has not regularly scheduled times to see the kids, so he sees them when he feels like it, perhaps once every few months. I started homeschooling DS12 this fall after removing him from school. The school was so abusive I filed a complaint with social services. I have three older DCs, two at university and one in his final year of boarding school who is in the middle of college applications but is receiving little support from the school. It's a bit rough all round because of job issues, kid issues, money issues, where to move issues, etc. I homeschooled my eldest two and that went great. I wasn't working at the time and had enough time for them. Right now I have to work and am trying to juggle DS12 (who is not exactly a compliant or easy child, but is very bright) and everything else. He has a babysitter three times a week when I'm at work, but the sitter doesn't help with his work or do much other than ask if he's done it. I'm happy with the curriculum we've chosen and DS seems quite happy with it too. The issue is that when I come home from work, quite often DS simply hasn't done the work he's meant to do. He's done some, then told the sitter he's done it, and they 've gone to the park. He has a list of instructions, right down to "now take the piece of paper, write the date, write your math, and then put this piece of paper into the math binder" level of detail. It's quite frustrating, especially when I get home at 7, get dinner for us, get back to whatever work I need to finish from the day, check up on DS17 and his college applications etc and find out that DS12 hasn't actually done the work or has done it so sloppily that it may as well not be done. A fulltime online school isn't really an option as we are outside the US and the timing doesn't work usually. I think I need to be checking in with him more during the day and getting updates from him, maybe by Facetime or something. Any tips? He has restricted access to screens because he has a tendency to abuse the privilege of screen access. Are there any programs or apps or anything that would let me check in with him? Has anyone done anything that has worked? I can't be checking in with him every half hour because I need to work at my job, but I can try to work something out. It's not that I'm trying to get him to do the work without help from me. I need to figure out how he can be on his own for three days a week and get enough schoolwork done that we have free time at the weekend. I'm going to change babysitters because the current one is simply ignoring him (taking naps! won't even help him get his lunch or play games with him or anything). Suggestions are welcome.

Good luck to your dd! What we find frustrating is that if there's too many musicians in a particular category applying, that affects the admit rate but there's no way to predict that in advance. DS also decided to go for university music programs rather than stand-alone conservatories, but he also wants a strong history/poli sci program. The schools he likes academically are not the schools he likes musically, argh. He may go for academics now, as long as he can find a good voice teacher and has performance opportunities.

I have DS applying this year. Unlike his sisters, he hasn't been home-schooled, so he has to work with his school. School is not in the US though and support for US apps is somewhat patchy. I made him spend the last two weeks of summer vacation working on the apps (he was away the rest of the summer), and now he's happy he did that because he has no time for anything other than school. The tricky part is doing arts supplements for instrument and voice -- his voice teacher isn't taking it seriously as far as we can tell and is out of the country most of the fall. I'm worried, DS isn't. Argh. I also have a student in a developing country whom I'm advising through a volunteer program (I'm nearly done with a certificate in college advising, so not quite so random as it might seem). This will be enjoyable, but challenging, as he wants to go to (insert supposedly top Ivy) but hasn't yet shared with me enough info to have this discussion. No essays yet and no SAT score either! On the positive side, I've really enjoyed talking through essays with DS and reading what he's come up with. It's been fun to go through all of his interests and talk about what they've meant to him and look at the common themes. One activity that I pushed him into (not for college, but for other reasons) has, he told me, turned out to be a much more influential experience than he would have expected four years ago, and he's so glad he stuck with it. Good luck to all going through this. I don't think I've quite recovered from DDs' applications three years ago ...

I don't know if this will help, but I'm looking at a CBT counselor for DS 11, with ADHD. I suspect there is something else going on, because his profile doesn't really fit. At the recommendation of the ed psych who did his eval a year ago, we got a "coach" who supposedly does not do therapy but works on specific skills. DS and the coach had once weekly sessions plus twice weekly ten minute checkins by Skype. We were also referred by the ed psych to a psychologist who supposedly worked at the NIH and is an "expert" on nutritional neuroscience. Months later, we are no further but a lot poorer! What I've done now is find an OT because I strongly suspect SPD. I've also sought out a CBT therapist. She of course wanted me just to sign on and bring DS in for his intake etc etc. I have responded by telling exactly what I need: a plan, with specific goals and measurable outcomes. I've asked her experience in working with 2E kids. I've told her that we are not going to be delving into adoption issues (because DS isn't really interested in going there) and that we homeschool (if that's an issue for her, like it was for the coach, we won't hire her). I feel quite strongly we've been led down the garden path by previous therapists who have all come up with recommendations (mostly very expensive and unworkable and based on cursory evaluations of my son) but no practical solutions, and I've decided to treat any therapist the way I'm treated in my own professional life by my clients -- they want to know my background, my experience and what I propose to deliver to solve the agreed-upon problem -- before they hire me. Not sure that helps, but I'm feeling quite frustrated and let down by the system.

Thanks but we're specifically avoiding the UK education system. He might do one IGCSE next year, but we're aiming for AP or IB ultimately, and will be leaving the UK within the next year.

My DDs were homeschooled for most of high school and are now in college, so it's been a while. Older DS is in school and applying for college next year. Younger DS 11 was removed from his private school by me in Feb after too many incidents of teachers shouting and screaming at him for no reason. We live in the UK and it is not possible to send him to the public school in our district -- you have to apply for school places and if they're full, they're full. They might, if you're lucky, find you a place miles and miles away (no school bus). DS has diagnosed ADHD, is also very bright, and did fine in his private school academically. His needs are not, in my opinion, that severe. I found an IB school that is international and came highly recommended and he applied and got a place. The school wants to charge us 42,000 pounds annually extra for him to have support (in addition to the 25,000 pounds tuition) in the form of weekly psychotherapy, homework help for visual procesing (umm, doesn't have this diagnosis), and various other odd things. I cannot possibly afford that kind of money and have told them so, and now it looks like we're going to be homeschooling until I can get us out of this country. I'm a single parent who works a reasonably demanding job (although I work 4 days a week and went down to 3 once DS came home) and the kids' dad pays child support but will not pay fees; he sees the kids maybe 4 times a year even though he lives 15 minutes away. So it's a rubbish situation all round although it could be worse. Question is -- can someone please recommend an all in one online school that requires minimal supervision? I've been trying to piece things together for DS over the last few months, but I cannot do it properly and still work (also taking classes to shift careers to a more flexbile and profitable job). It would need to be asynchronous or in our time zone. I've been looking into a few but would really appreciate views from those who have been there and could see how a program might work in our situation. I would hire a sitter (we have a few who are great) to supervise, but I wouldn't want to rely on them to teach. Thanks.

Congrats! The dd of a good friend of mine is a sophomore at FIT. This is a lovely girl who could never be persuaded to take an interest in school or academics and did the minimum to get by (to my friend's despair). She is now at FIT, happy, and doing fantastically well, now that she is in a place where she can pursue her interests. All the best to your daughter.

I took my older DS (not DS11) to Able Kids years ago for APD. Able Kids were great.

DS11 has been diagnosed with ADHD and has been taking a low dose of Ritalin on days that he is in school; I've now pulled him out of school and have stopped the Ritalin. He's home until the fall, when I will probably have to put him in school (single parent, work long hours, etc). I feel like I haven't really dealt with the ADHD; the psych basically said, here's the meds, give them to him. So now I've start doing more reading around ADHD and so on and have come across ideas that ADHD is related to vitamin and other deficiencies, and supplementing can help. DS has a somewhat complicated medical history, and is also hearing impaired, so I wouldn't be surprised if his issues are more complex than straightforward ADHD. Does anyone have recommendations on where to start? Where we live we do not have access to great neuropsychs or anything like that, but we'll be in the States this summer.

If you hire a consultant, I'd suggest making sure they are members of IECA or NACAC, which are the professional organisations for consultants. You could also try contacting these organisations to find a consultant specialising in exactly what you need.

I think that's part of this -- this kid has no intention to imply what he's so clearly implying. I asked, and he said he did not intend to do this at all. But if you read the essay, it's so easy to read it the way I'm reading it, and if I'm reading it that way knowing his intention and taking lots of time, I imagine an admissions reader may easily come to the same conclusion in the few minutes they have to review. Also, as has been mentioned (thanks -- very helpful to me to clarify these distinctions in my mind) it's not so much that he is writing about politics as it is that he is expressing a widely-held view about a political situation without appropriate analysis or relating it to his personal story. I could see DS writing about politics when it's his turn, since he's very interested in politics. But he's interned in DC and writes about politics for a school paper. Argh. I so much want this kid to write a good essay and do well, but it's his essay and his choices. Now I worry that the essay will affect his chances at his match schools because of how clunky it is.

Thanks -- this is helpful. This boy is not a stand-out writer and just doesn't have the skill to convey the nuances of his message (especially not one week before the deadline argh!). He has three or four strong and disparate interests that are linked by a common theme that speaks to a particular type of intellectual curiosity, and I think this would be a better showcase for who he is. Parents and boy are pushing back though and encouraging the political angle, so it's really helpful to get some btdt perspective. I'll give it one more try to get him to shift direction, just slightly, but enough to change the thesis from omg politics to something that's more about him and how he thinks. I know with my DDs they wrote about strong interests of theirs in a way that demonstrated how they think and what they enjoyed about these interests, and both essays were good. I feel bad because I cannot see how this essay will make him stand out and be competitive at his first-choice school (he's a great kid but in many ways is just like so many other great applicants). School guidance counselor doesn't seem to have been terribly helpful to this kid. Argh.

I've been helping the son of a friend with his Common App essay. It started as an investigation of the common theme tying together a number of disparate interests, both academic and non-academic. It's since veered off into politics, and not just the procedural aspects to politics. It's at the point where a reader giving the essay a quick read may think the writer is making an analogy between a certain political figure's speech at a certain non-political rally, and rallies that led to really bad stuff middle of last century. I've tried to suggest that he walk this back a bit, perhaps to focus on the importance of the rule of law/principles, which is where the non-political version started, but each draft becomes more political! He's applying EA to one of the most selective schools, which is concerning, but I'm also concerned that a political essay is going to hurt him elsewhere. He's not explained himself very clearly at all or distanced himself from the analogy. Not really sure what I'm asking -- maybe just how much I should push back on this? Encourage him to draw out a couple of other themes and downplay the politics? I can tell that there's a very good essay hiding in what he's written, but I'm limited in how much I can tell him what to do. How much of a no-no is it to write about politics in these essays? I've always heard (and I've done quite a lot of reading and research into this) that politics and religion are off-limits (when writing about views/substance). Nothing else on the application suggests political engagement, so it's not like the essay goes into a strong interest of his.

Williams. DD does not party (goes to the occasional party, but not often) and has found plenty of like-minded friends. Can't beat the academics there, although not really an engineering focus. Drawbacks are the fact that it gets very cold and Williamstown is tiny, but some may find those factors advantages.

Is the professional one HBO and the academic one WO?

My dds applied as international homeschoolers with dual citizenship, coming from six-year programs and a two-year gap between completion of the program with A-levels and APs in between -- so similar to your son. We did not have meetings with any AdCom folks, didn't really think of this as an option given the number of applications they would be receiving for the schools DDs applied to. At every informational meeting we attended, we made sure to go ask the AdCom rep about their situation and in each case they told us that they had on staff a rep who covered that particular area of the world and was therefore familiar with that particular educational system and the exams relevant to that system. I think this is true, although I am pretty sure that some of these reps have more experience than others. As for homeschooling, they claim they understand this and know what it's about -- I think that the truth of this varies by school tbh. If you can get a meeting with an AdCom rep, I'd say go for it. As for getting profs to advocate for your son, my DDs set up meetings with reps of the departments they were interested in at each school. I don't know what they discussed as DDs did this on their own. I know of one prof who offered one DD an "early read" -- that is, to review her application and then send it on to the AdCom. I know that at another school, one prof apparently gets to pick two people a year from arts supplements submitted in a particular field and then the AdCom will take this as a strong recommendation (I'm about 90 per cent sure this is an accurate representation of what happens, given what I know). I strongly suspect that at least one of the profs DD1 met with advocated for her, as she ended up being DD's faculty advisor.