are about to do a second grade skip and will be 10 in seventh grade of ps, which sounds horrible, but when you look at the school and the class and the guidance they'll be getting, is actually a really good thing. We will move in a year, they will be homeschooled and we'll have them "repeat" a grade or add in a gap year or do something so that they'll go to university when they're the usual age. They won't be advanced for anything outside of school (Sunday school, sports, etc.). In fact, in sports, they'll play down a year because they're girls playing cricket on a boys team, so they'll be 10 in an under-9s. We're taking it one year at a time, one activity at a time, because otherwise I'll go nuts.

our PS. Not with respect to political views/opinions, but with teachers telling my children something they (the teachers) know I am opposed to in an effort to bring my children over to the teachers' "side" as it were. Example: my 9 yo dd was scared by a book that the teacher had chosen for read-aloud time. She finally confessed to me that she was worried about nightmares, etc. I spoke with the teacher/wrote notes and informed the teacher that dd was not going to be subjected to this. The book itself was not particularly objectionable, or I would have objected to the book on those grounds. But dd was scared, and I didn't think she should be forced to listen. I suggested she go to the hallway during read-aloud and read her own book. Kids are always working in the hallway, so this was no big accommodation. So, after I've discussed this with school/teacher ... R comes home and tells me that the teacher pulled her aside, let her know that the book is intended for 9 yo and up and suggested that R read the book herself first and then listen to read-aloud. I threw a fit. R went to the hallway during read-aloud. We had a similar incident this week, which has not yet been resolved. R and her sister will leave the school for another school, all very suddenly and last minute. The school wants them to do a going-away thing. I said, I can't do it this week. Teachers talked to the girls and told them that they had to do it this week and that I had to bring a treat. Teachers told me that I had to bring a treat and not to make a big deal of it. I informed the teacher that I will be pulling a few close-to all-nighters for my work (another saga) and that I haven't even gone grocery shopping or done laundry. I also sent a very angry email to the principal (who, to give her credit, responded understandingly). So, while I haven't noticed the schools pushing a particular political agenda in the way the article described, I have noticed the schools attempting to undermine my authority by appealing to my children. It's not good for the children. Anyway, long story, but I enjoyed the article. I personally would think that the cognitive dissonance is less related to political issues and more related to issues as described above, where teachers are trying to take over as co-parents, but that's what I see happening in this country (not the US). S.

when he was 6, last year. He is a visual-spatial learner with speech/language difficulties. He scored only slightly above average on the Ravens, and we learned nothing about how he learns. A few months later he took the WISCIV and had a much much higher score. I don't know how much of the difference was due to the type of test and how much to the tester, but the experience didn't leave me with a good impression of the Ravens. Of course this is only our experience, which was probably influenced by many variables, but since there isn't much out there on the Ravens that I could find, I thought this bit of subjective information might be helpful, especially given that ds is the type of child for whom the Ravens is meant to be useful.

I could use some advice/thoughts/help thinking through this school situation. Warning -- could get long! The background is that we're in Europe, three gifted kids (one also LD) in local schools, afterschooling as best we can. Plan is to move in one year's time to country where homeschooling is legal and there is a better community of homeschoolers. So this is about the coming school year. DDs are nine, twins, in fifth grade at local school. Local school goes through sixth grade and dh and I think it would be nice for them to finish elementary school. DS is just seven, in first grade, same school. School is not great. School seems to be getting slightly worse (objectively, not just for my kids but in general, quite a few kids are moving). School is montessori, which means in theory working at own level but in practice that kids are left to their own devices and the teachers may or may not check that the do their work. I am personally very attached to this country as it is partly my own and I am bilingual and want the children to be so as well (they are). This is my old school. I do NOT want to be in an expat bubble. I think that these factors are playing a far bigger role in my decision than they should be, so feel free to call me on it. DD1 is the problem. In September the teacher admitted she was doing nothing. In April the teacher again admitted DD1 does nothing. In the interim steps were supposed to have been taken but weren't. I say DD1 is underachieving, which around here is a term of art and flips you into the "system" and gets you attention. School special ed teacher says doing nothing isn't underachieving. School special ed teacher is in power struggle, I think, with us because I'm co-founder of group for parents of gifted kids at this school. DD1 has headaches every day and stomach aches occasionally. She gives Kumon/Aleks, SOTW, Latin all a ten on a scale of 1 to 10 and her school subjects between 4 and 7. School is boring. She's learning nothing. Teacher is sweet and very young and not super-bright (will in twenty years be a very good teacher, but isn't there yet). Teacher is trying her best but admits F is beyond her abilities to mentor. DD1 is skipped one grade and is academically ready for seventh grade or more (she's not pg or anything, just highly gifted, so we're not talking about a child who is extraordinary). She likes the kids in her class and is socially making progress (with F, progress is made socially on a glacial time scale). The agreement with school is that DD1 will next year do school by correspondence/internet but remain physically in school. School admits that academically DD needs more than they can offer but agrees that it's rough putting a ten year-old into seventh grade. We have a GREAT internet school that is in our country and gets the gifted thing. F will start an eighth-grade science course with them asap. F will do Aleks/Kumon at school and possibly Latin at school. I'm going to get help from the teacher/mother of a close friend who has 30 years experience teaching high school Dutch to help set up a language program for her as the internet one is more than 1000 euro's. Problem is that school is not set up to do this. They cannot help F with her work. It will be purely an independent study. F will use school time to do her work but will not do schoolwork. So kind of like homeschool but I won't be there. I'm really worried that the school won't help out with this. They don't have wireless, so F is dependent on an internet cable connection. They're not going to ensure she does the work. F will be communicating with her science teacher, but I'm not sure how this will work. I'm worried that F will feel isolated by doing this. I don't want to pull her out and send her to the British School for just one year because of the language and because of the expat thing. I don't want to leave her where she is because after four years of working closely with this school I don't trust them to do anything they promise. I would have to find a way to monitor the situation very closely. I don't feel like homeschooling because we would (almost certainly) literally end up in court. I know it's just one year, but I end up miserable because of the school. I'm worried that the headaches are school-related. So, as you can see, I'm both long-winded and confused, as as DH is on a business trip, I'm asking you for objective advice. Do I try to get F into seventh grade? I've been making phone calls and have some leads. Do I send her to the excellent British School for one year and find a shrink to work through my own issues about this? Do I decide that this is not school but daycare and suck it up? Do I try the internet school and insist that the school live up to its end of the bargain? How do I get rid of the feeling that this has to change, that this school is not doing its job and that it must change? I feel so powerless to effect change, despite being in a group for parents like us and trying to make change.

which wasn't what I intended at all. I had thought we would do our six weeks (all we get for summer vacation) and cram in a year's worth of school, since they learn nothing at school. Six weeks ought to be enough. Then we were in London, where there's a Lindamood Bell, and I thought, hey, let's have ds tested (he's always being tested -- long story) and see if one of their programs can help. Turns out they're wonderful and insightful people there and they think their program can help ds (he has an auditory processing disorder, so when he reads, he uses only his visual and language skills and none of his auditory skills -- you get the problem). So now we're trying to move to London for a month, figure out my job, get childcare for the other two -- and, oh yeah, afterschooling. But London is great anyway, so I figure maybe I'll just drop the other two at the British Museum every day and pick them up after work. They'll probably learn all they ever need to know.

I was talking about the upcoming US election with my children the other day (tricky since we don't live in the States and they don't hear much about it) and my son (6) informed me that he would vote for King Richard the Lionheart, his hero. So who would you vote for for President, if you could vote for anyone at all? Meaning fictional/non-fictional, dead/alive, American/non-American?

From what I've read of what you've posted about your older two children, they're turning out great. So I would venture that if you keep going with your dd the way you did with the others, she'll turn out more than fine. If you've trusted your own and your dh's judgment in the past, it appears to have produced good results. mom to Firoco, two of whom had a wonderful kindergarten experience and one of whom ended up at a psychiatrist's office (not kidding).

hire my au pair. I thought this would be a good solution to the lack of afterschool care and my unpredictable hours, and maybe have someone help with schooling. Well, the girl's English is so bad that when I answered that yes she needed to pick the kids up from school yesterday afternoon, she was certain I said not to pick them up. So my kids were stranded. A friend helped out and arranged to bring the kids home between 4:30 and 5:00. So I made sure our au pair knew to be home then. Well, you've guessed it -- she was out. My friend spotted her as they were driving over to the house. Her excuse is that she need to go to the (far away) store to buy pasta (which we had) for dinner. So, I'm not finding this afterschooling working mom thing to be working right now! Argh. And yes, she will be with us only as long as it takes me to find a sitter to replace her.

but I get the impression that children in the States (we're in Europe) are supervised much more than mine are here. Mine (oldest are nine) can walk up the road to the grocery store, run an errand for me, do their own thing at the shopping mall (if I'm somewhere in the mall), be dropped off at a lesson and come meet me afterward somewhere nearby, etc. I take them to the gym for their judo lesson and they and the 7 year old go to judo, and afterwards, get changed into football gear and walk to football practice. The kids can go to public restrooms alone. The school does not have a fenced-in yard. From first grade on, children are turned loose at the end of the day. If your parents/sitter show up, great. If not, the child is supposed to know to go back into the school and ask for help. If I'm late to pick up the kids, I know some other mother will pitch in to help out if necessary. We live in a suburb of a major city, so it's not like we're in a small village. On the other hand, I don't think Americans baby their children (to generalize). Protect them a little more, yes, but not with the intention or result of producing children who are spoiled and incapable of acting responsibly or independently.

I think you should take WIC in this situation. Then, if you feel you can/should/want to, when things are financially easier for you, "pay it back" -- not necessarily to the government but to a charity. Make it more of a loan.

I always understood that Judas betrayed Jesus. My dcs, however, have come home from religion class with the information that Judas didn't really mean to betray Jesus and that it was all a big mistake. Apparently Judas was trying to get something for Jesus and it all went wrong. Can someone set me straight here? I'm a bit confused. Thank you.

supplementing what your school does rather than reteach. That's more or less what we try to do. Would it be possible to work with the school and give your children work to take with them? My girls have a folder that stays at school that has critical thinking, reading comp, etc., in it. At the very least, if the school has free reading time, you can send books with your children that you want them to read. At home we do a lot of math because the math at their school stinks. We do Aleks, which is not cheap, but works very well for us and is self-directed. I work three days (the theoretical parttime that looks a lot like fulltime some weeks) so this helps me a lot. We do Kumon everyday. That also costs money though. We used to do SOTW and lots of the activities and books, but since I started working we don't have that much time for it. The kids keep asking for it though. We do Latin, using Cambridge Latin, and this week I'm trying a new approach. I am having them do Latin as part of our bedtime stories. Just ten minutes to read and review what they have learned. The rest they're supposed to do on their own. We use Winston Grammar when we can and that can also be incorporated into bedtime stories. I'll read a page and ask the kids to identify the parts of speech (can't do this too much or it will ruin the story). Audiobooks are great because you can sneak in lots of history and literature and science. Every week I write down what I want the kids to do afterschool. Doesn't always work, but it's better than nothing. The kids' school is a mixed bag and I alternately hate it and love it. We will be moving in a couple of years and then homeschooling fulltime though, so I think it's important enough to us to keep afterschooling so there is some continuity.

and take the first flight I see that goes somewhere I want to be. One of these days I will do this.

visited us twice this week. Once she came and took away three teeth because each of my three had lost one. Last night we had another two teeth to take away because two of them has lost one. Last week we had another visit or two. If this keeps up, no one will be able to eat and the tooth fairy will be broke. My son also decided that there is a money fairy. He puts money under his pillow and expects a present in the morning. We've convinced him he is allowed to do this only once a year, though, so it's manageable.

here would convey your message well.

(and one more reason we will be moving in the next two years to homeschool). NINTENDO! DD 9 yo came home this afternoon to tell me that her teacher and the class voted that next Thursday afternoon would be Nintendo DS afternoon. All the kids are supposed to bring their DSs (I'm not sure that's what they're called) and play on them. It was going to be an all-day event, but some older boys misbehaved and lost the "privilege" of playing all day, so now it's just the afternoon. We sent an email to the principal explaining that dd doesn't own one of those things and that we don't believe that school is the appropriate forum for playing games like that. Am I crazy, or is this just plain out of line? It's not like we strongly object to Nintendo at home (although we don't own anything like that) and I'm considering getting a Wii, and the kids play Webkinz for limited amounts of time. I don't want to judge what other parents let kids do at home, but I just can't see this at a school.

the stuff we used wouldn't wash out though. Have a look at the pic here.

English in Japan for a year after college (long ago). We found jobs without a placement agency, just by writing (pre-internet) letters to various English-language schools. It was easy to find work, and we had a great time. A friend of mine did the JET program, which is a Japanese-government run English teaching program that brings English speakers into Japanese schools for a year. The advantage is that they have lots of support and ongoing contact afterward. The disadvantage is that (at least then) my friend had no say in where she was going to be placed. http://www.jetprogramme.org/ If I recall correctly, the book Learning to Bow was about a year spent teaching English in Japan. DH and I enjoyed out time there; my brother came out to visit, fell in love with the country, began studying Japanese, did an exchange program, found a Japanese girlfriend, moved to Japan, married (other) Japanese girlfriend, two Japanese-speaking children, etc. All because dh and I went to teach English.

sending work with her, or having the school do subject-matter acceleration? My dds are 9, accelerated by one year, and in a Montessori school. For reasons I won't go into, we can't homeschool, but the school is willing to let me send work with the girls and will probably allow them to do a sort of distance learning next year, so they would be doing work at their own academic level while being in their own classroom. It is not ideal, but it's working for all of us on several different levels.

here's a website about the Pilgrims in Leiden, the Netherlands, where they went before going to Plymouth. http://www.pilgrimhall.org/LeidenMuseum.htm I hope I linked properly. We went there last year when we were studying Pilgrims and met the man who runs it, who is very very knowledgeable about the Pilgrims as well as being interesting and helpful. The website has some interesting links. Another random fact -- our church in Amsterdam (now a Church of Scotland) was I believe the first church where the Pilgrims worshipped when they came to the Netherlands from England. We have a stained glass window depicting the Pilgrims in the church. Just a random fact.

the type of behaviour that is "objectionable" is done in the name of Christianity? And the response is then to wish to distance oneself from that "label"? Just thinking outloud (or should that be online? on keyboard?), not trying to pick a fight.

I have 9 yo twins in fifth grade and a 6 yo in first grade. Twins are girls, singleton is a boy.

many years ago. There was an elderly woman there, all alone. Suddenly she began pointing at the map of the camp locations that was on the wall, and saying loudly, that was where my mother was! that was where my sister was! And she pointed at the tattoo on her arm. I didn't know what to do or say. I wanted to help, but had no clue. Fortunately someone else stepped in (as I recall a woman who was there with her children) and began to talk to her. It was a long time ago now, but I remember it very clearly.

live in a country where homeschooling is very difficult to do legally, the schools are reasonably good, and the children can become truly bilingual by going to school ... so afterschooling it is, for the next year or so. After that we will move to a country were homeschooling is easier/more common, mostly because ds has a lot of "issues" that make it difficult for him to get an education at school. We've been afterschooling since the girls were in first grade; they're now in fifth. We've done SOTW, although not recently, are doing Latin (Cambridge Latin with internet tutor), lots of math (Kumon and Aleks for the girls, Kumon and EPGY for the boy), and whatever else we can fit in. We have an arrangement with the school that I'm allowed to send in extra work with the girls, so they do Writing Strands and Winston Grammar at school, as well as extra worksheets etc. It's difficult to fit it all in, but I'm hopeful that it will all work out in the end.