I don't know if this works as discipline, but I would have your older DD be the toothfairy the next time it's necessary. Have her give the money, write a note from the "toothfairy", add glitter, make it fancy. Maybe she would understand that it's fun to do something like for someone else, and perhaps she could then understand how unfun it is to have the secret ruined. Just my random thoughts.

I'm a TCK and raising four TCKs, including one we adopted from China a month ago, so he'll have his own type of TCKness. Sophie

"Put your udder on." Said by my friend to his son, who was dressed in a cow suit for an event last weekend.

My mother, a former ps special ed teacher, volunteers one day a week at a children's hospital. The kids she teaches usually have work given by their regular school and she teaches them using this curriculum, so she has to be flexible in terms of subject matter, approach and level. She has been doing this for several years and loves it. She's met some fantastic people and, although it can be sad at times, I think from what she has said that the children are very inspiring. If she were more available she would be teaching more days. S.

DS 7 has very crooked teeth already and who knows where the teeth that are yet to come in will fit. I have taken him to the orthodontist, who gave us a T4K trainer -- it's a plastic mouthguard. It wasn't molded to DS's teeth, just off the shelf. Are these common? I cannot find any independent research online on their effectiveness, and I've never heard of these from anyone. Around here it's unheard of to have a 7 yo at the ortho, so I had to do a lot of pushing to get the appointment in the first place, and the ortho made it clear that he doesn't want to do much of anything for DS. It seems to me that kids in the US are receiving treatment at 7 or 8, is that right? Anyone have experience with young children and orthodontics or trainer-like objects (that are supposed to be worn all night long even though they fall out)? I'm definitely making an appt with a US ortho for our next visit to the States, but that might be a while off. Any advice is welcome. Thanks. SAW

Afterschooling in the Netherlands, moving to Paris (unless something better turns up) in the fall. Sophie

A colleague of mine from England finds it much colder and wetter here in the Netherlands than at home, although the distance isn't that far. Maybe it's all those weeks going by without seeing the sun. S

Love Facebook, except for the fact that my MIL and BIL are on it and want to be my friends. Argh. I've enjoyed reconnecting with people I haven't spoken with in ages, seeing pictures of their kids, finding out what they're up to. I've been in touch with high school friends with whom I'd lost touch and discovered they're just as nice as ever. I've also been in touch with my SIL, whom I like but never see or speak with, and I feel like we're both happy to have more contact with each other. The last few months have been very difficult here at home, and these renewed contacts have been helpful to me.

for the reassurance that I'm not nuts. This actually happened to me this afternoon; I was at work and found out that the two of them had been left alone at home by someone who shall remain nameless. I couldn't leave work (no transport) and by the time I found out I had half an hour to go before I could get home. I did manage the reach the kids, they were fine. Fortunately the ten year-old didn't start throwing up until AFTER I'd arrived home. This will (obviously) be discussed with the person involved once I've calmed down a bit. I tend to be overprotective, so I thought maybe I was letting that cloud my judgment.

Would you leave a responsible 10 year old home alone with an irresponsible 7 year old? For two hours in late afternoon (as in, dark outside)? No nearby neighbors to be helpful. I'm inclined to say no way, but maybe I'm being over-protective. Thanks. SAW

DS 7 sings "round yon version of Mother and Child", which makes me laugh, so I haven't bothered to correct him.

We recently received a thank-you note for a Bat Mitzvah gift we gave, and the thank-you was a photocopy of a general thank-you written for all who had given gifts. I thought it was a bit odd, but I suppose these things are relative (and the person in question obviously still young).

That we're idiots. DDs are Fifi and Roro, DS is Cot. They have real names, too, but if you just heard what they are called, you'd think there was something wrong with us. DS has a real name that is a family name, the kind of name that if we meet anyone with that name we know we're related. The girls have very pretty traditional names, but F insists on being called Fifi by everyone (despite Fifi and the Flowertots).

things are getting very complicated around here. I just hope I can keep it together long enough to see whether things get better. I was just thinking today about trying to get a network of supportive friends and other things I can do. Objectively speaking I am okay (kids are great, fortunate to have a great job, minimal financial concerns, supportive family) but it's just not what I would have wanted or would have expected. That's probably said too much right there.

I had a discussion with ds's teacher today about various things going wrong in school. She pointed out that she thinks he's socially awkward and implied that he is immature, and that this makes it hard for him to be part of the group and make friends. I've heard these comments before, about his older sisters when they were in first through third grade. I never quite agreed, because what the school and teachers saw as very "young" for their age was what I perceived as mature, and acting older than their age. The girls are now double grade-skipped and socially happy, for the first time. I'm just wondering whether others have had similar experiences. Are behaviours subject to interpretation so that gifted kids who behave in certain ways are going to be described as socially immature, when in reality they're just acting much more maturely than the group of children around them? I'm not trying to say that DS is necessarily mature and that the teacher is wrong (it's more complex than that), but just having heard this all before, only to see that the grade skipping was socially emotionally by far the best thing that could have happened to dds, I'm wondering whether others see this is as well (or maybe I'm just a bit nuts, but you'd be nuts too if you'd had your kids in this school for this long!).

Lindamood Bell. We did that this summer and it was wonderful. It's pricy, but they do on occasion have financial help.

If you don't get results at the doctor's office today, I suggest asking (uber politely) for names and the right people for your attorney to contact, since your attorney is going to be very interested in keeping your son alive. Sometimes just the word attorney gets them going (I've done this once, in another situation, and it scared the heck out of the people who were trying to deny my son access to his free public education). Good luck, I cannot imagine how stinky this is for you. Your son is fortunate to have such great advocates for parents.

I'm glad you've resolved the problem. Hope things keep getting better!

How about magazine subscriptions? Nothing to mail, not too pricy, and it lasts a year. Saw.

I hope things turn out all right. You're in my thoughts. Saw.

our local school used TERC. We ran as far as we could in the opposite direction and ended up in Europe. Seriously though I've heard it can be good if done very well by teachers who are experienced and know what they're doing. I would supplement and teach them proper math.

but are afterschoolers because of the way the homeschool laws work. Children are legally required to be enrolled and to attend school from the first day of the month starting after the month in which they turn five. School is available (as in schools are required to place children) from the day of the child's fourth birthday. Children are exempted from being required to attend school if the parents claim the exemption on the basis of their religious views (religious isn't really the right translation as the exemption will include humanistic or ethical or holistic views as well). The exemption applies if there is no school that denotes itself as holistic or whatever with a certain radius of the child's home. The point is that parents have a right to send the child to a school that meets their "religious" views and that if there is no such school available, the parents are not required to send the child to school. It's not really permission to homeschool; rather, it's permission not to send your child to school. Once your child is exempted, the government is supposed to stay out of it. There are currently no regulations about what education exempted children are supposed to get. Once the child has attended school, no matter how long, the assumption becomes that the parents don't object to the views of the school and therefore they can no longer claim the exemption as a matter of right. It is possible to find a way around this if the child has attended a school that does not have a particular religious (all public schools are either religious or specifically non-religious or follow a particular type of approach, such as Jena or Dalton -- there are almost no private schools) view. The parents can then claim that they have changed their minds, which right to change their minds about their religion is guaranteed by a human rights convention, and then claim the exemption. This is harder. If the child has been in a religious school it's almost impossible. These are the rules; the reality is somewhat different and depends on the region in which you live. I try to stay on top of developments and am on a homeschooling list. Each year we evaluate taking the kids out of school and homeschooling, but I'm just not comfortable with the views of the homeschool community here and the lack of homeschoolers in our area. It seems most are either very religous and we would not feel at home (we're liberal lefty Presbyterians) or very very very unschoolish (and I'm a Montessori WTM classical eclectic unschool type) who don't believe in requiring any work. Those who are in the middle are few and far between. Plus, the kids are at least becoming completely bilingual and that fact usually tips the balance for us in our yearly reassessment. So that's way more than you every wanted to know! It's frustrating to me to be in this situation where I'm making compromises about the kids' education but we're not here for the long term so that makes it okay. I do order lots of materials from the US or sometimes through the UK for our afterschooling as there's nothing available locally. Sophie

chocolate chips for making cookies Butterfingers (but that's just me and they're only for me) taped shows for the kids (my dad records Arthur, Liberty Kids, things like that) but that's not as necessary anymore with the internet. If you pay, you can get many of these shows from iTunes (if you have a US credit card and can get into the US store online) my parents always bring Crest (in the big tubes, since we can only get little tubes and I don't like those) and Stretch Island flat fruit (my kids love these) English-language books. Again, these can now be more easily ordered from Amazon UK but that's pricy. I would also recommend anything that would enable the kids to stay in touch with American culture. Growing up overseas, that was what I later found out I missed out on. Just stupid things, like Oreos or kid "trends" like Webkinz. Maybe some crafty types of things for Thanksgiving? Like the kind you get from Oriental Trading? We never did much for Thanksgiving when we lived overseas when I was a child, and it would have been nice to have had something to make that connection. Or maybe Halloween, although they may not do Halloween. We live overseas now, and when we go back to the States, a lot of what we do is to try to give the kids a connection to American culture. Good luck and have fun with the care package -- I'm sure it will be appreciated. S

you want to do Amsterdam-type things or just things that are fun that happen to be in Amsterdam: Van Gogh museum has kids classes on the weekends. Rijksmuseum isn't what it used to be. We like the Amsterdam Historical Museum. If you're church-going or interested in the Pilgrims, visit the English Reformed Church in the Begijnhof off the Spui. It was the church the Pilgrims attended when they were in Amsterdam before moving to Leiden. It's now a Church of Scotland Church. Go skating on the Jaap Edenbaan. It should be open then; it's open-air and you should be able to rent skates. Eat pancakes (not for breakfast but for lunch or dinner) at the Boerderij Meerzicht in the Amsterdamse Bos. It will be open on the weekends in November and one weekday, can't remember which. If you're doing the Anne Frank house, you might want to visit the Portuguese Synagogue or the Jewish Museum For fun: Tropenmuseum is a museum of ethnography, good for kids. Nemo is a hands-on science museum for kids. Artis the zoo is nice but not if you have access to really fantastic zoos at home. Outside of Amsterdam: The Kroller Muller museum on the Veluwe has great Van Goghs and is in a beautiful location. There's also the Openair museum Arnhem, which is fantastic. You can walk around and see all sorts of buildings etc from Dutch history. Haarlem is nice to walk around in. Madurodam in the Hague -- miniature of the country, very popular tourist attraction. Kids love it. Leiden has a good natural history museum (Naturalis) and a very small but interesting Pilgrim museum. Go to Zandvoort and take a walk on the beach and eat at one of the restaurants on the beach. If you want more info on any of the above, please pm me. Sophie (in Amsterdam, if that weren't obvious)

had a different experience. We saw a developmental optometrist, who gave us the diagnosis and recommended glasses (to give the eyes a rest, not for seeing better) and therapy. We then went to the vision therapist (we don't live near the optometrist). The vision therapist has been in contact with the optometrist and has reviewed DD's diagnosis. On the basis of this, the vision therapist sees DD once a week for 45 minutes. She does exercises with her and monitors progress on the homework. Every week we get three new exercises, written down for us and kept in a homework folder we take back and forth. DD practices those every day and records this on the homework. We did see one vision therapist a few years ago for ds who fobbed us off with one exercise and told us to come back in a year or so if we needed more help. I think the thing with vision therapy, from what I have heard from other btdt parents, is consistency. It needs to be done every day. It helps us to have to go to the therapist every week for monitoring. I don't think I'd get this done on our own without that motivation. This site has information on exercises. I haven't used it, just looked at it, but it might help you get started. http://www.eyecanlearn.com/ I hope you get someone to operate on you! Best of luck with the waiting. Sophie