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saw

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Everything posted by saw

  1. This is not proper data, but I have girl twins born in August and a boy born in August, one day apart. Intelligence-wise there's pretty much no difference between the girls and the boy (boy is adopted so this is a bit weird but okay). The girls were skipped two grades in b&m primary school. We didn't really have a choice and acted on solid advice. It worked out well in the end. Boy performs academically just as well but maturity-wise was just not there, so he had Grade 8.1 and Grade 8.2 and is now in Grade 10 at 16. Both the grade skip and the grade retention were done with psych advice. DS is a great sophomore and would be a terrible junior. Academically he can do advanced work but needs more support than the girls did at that age. I feel like the support he gets is appropriate for a sophomore but wouldn't be for a junior, who would be expected to take more responsibility for himself. It would be interesting to see more data on this.
  2. I like Christmas and actually enjoy decorating and all that stuff but I'm sick to death of having to spend every Christmas at my parents' (and since we generally live far away, that means a lot of travel). My brother gets to spend Christmas wherever he wants -- he asked my mom if he could use their vacation home in a very nice place for this Christmas and she let him without thinking to ask whether I'd be interested! It's just this annual expectation that the kids and I will spend Christmas with my parents or they will come to us. Before COVID, I spent exactly one Christmas not with my parents. It's not that they're awful because they're not; it's that unspoken requirement of attendance and knowing that I will disappoint if I don't show. And they don't decorate or do anything fun or listen to Christmas music, which is what saves Christmas for me. Rant over.
  3. I joined the Y in October. I went today for the first time. Not sure if I should be proud of myself for this or not, but I'm going with yes.
  4. I also did the certificate from UC Irvine and thoroughly enjoyed it.
  5. I have done a bit of college consulting for friends/family/low-income students, but always on a pro bono basis, so the question of hourly rate has never come up. I have a certificate in this and decent experience, so I don't think I'm just making stuff up (at least not more than I usually do). BUT I've been approached via via and asked what my hourly rate is. This would be for families that can afford consultants. What's the going rate? Any suggestions? Feel free to pm if you prefer. Thank you!
  6. I'm so sorry for your loss. Wishing you and your family peace.
  7. I have a DS interested in summer music as well -- DS1 was at Interlochen and was generally meh about his experience (which is not to say that Interlochen is meh, just that DS's specific experience was meh). DS2 is a different kid and plays a different instrument. Would love to hear reviews/suggestions for camps. @rzberrymom is it okay if I PM you re Tanglewood?
  8. When I tried to get xh to be more involved with the kids (like attend concerts, help with schooling, pay attention to them), he just didn't. Finally he said to me that we just had different parenting styles, and that his was more laissez faire and therefore equally valid. Not so. I still remember years ago when I was married and had to go away for a night for one child's event and intended to leave the other two (around age 12) with their dad. They were so upset at the prospect that I called a friend to take them for the weekend instead.
  9. Thank you all. This is both helpful (feeling like I'm not alone or crazy!) and slightly discouraging (in that so many others are in a similar type of boat). But ultimately also encouraging so I'm feeling like I will keep going and make this work. As @madteapartyknows I've done work here and there and that's been good. I think rn I'm surrounded by people irl who simply don't get the situation or respect the frustration, and maybe for me, it's key to have the frustration acknowledged so that I can feel encouraged to take next steps.
  10. Thank you. Kids are mostly raised and doing well. Just DS16. I've been trying to start my own business, in my field, and it's tough going. Living closer to family now and struck by how certain (male) family members have not once asked me what I'm doing jobwise/careerwise. When I have tried to say, gee I'm frustrated at how things have gone, and look at X who is successful bc X has a spouse who stays home and lets him be successful, I'm just told I'm wrong etc. A fair bit of emphasis among those around me on money as the sole measure of success, which I don't really agree with (not saying I'll say no to money but I think it's possible to be successful without being wealthy). I need to ignore the negative and keep working on my own business because I think it can work eventually or go back to a regular job and keep this as a side hustle but I feel so very very far behind and so very very frustrated.
  11. This is a JAWM please. I have plenty of people who do not AWM and make this known to me. In sum, it's annoying to have had the prospect of a promising career derailed by a divorce and an exh who has never lifted a finger to help with the kids (except tbf to pay support; none of the kids has spent more than a couple of hours at a time with him and that only every few months). This has made homeschooling difficult and restricted my ability to take jobs to those that let me work part time/from home/have no travel so that I can be there for the kids at all times. Now the kids are mostly grown, this in turn means I have a low earning power compared to those around me, which is frustrating, and have not done what I could have done had exh pitched in a bit. No one around me gets this and apparently it's my fault as I shouldn't have adopted kid #4, or or I have nothing to complain about as I never actually had any career prospects at all because women don't have careers anyway. So please JAWM.
  12. The Scout leaders in our former Troop got so disgusted with the Scouts' complete inability to write remotely civilized emails that we (me) started running annual "how to write an email" session. It actually worked very well, as we had the Scouts read very old-fashioned overdone letters and write emails in that style, and then write the rudest emails they could come up with. Then told them the sweet spot was in the middle. It was one of my favorite sessions to run as we always had a good laugh.
  13. Thanks. The school had no problem with the evaluation reports, fortunately, probably because everything is well and recently documented. I'm getting a new private evaluation done next year, so it will count for college as well. Hoping to avoid having to do one this year and another next. I checked with someone legally knowledgeable about this state's law and apparently the school can't refuse this and is endangering their funding by refusing. Oops. Hoping the school are looking for a reason to give DS the 504 rather than looking for reasons not to.
  14. IME, I would start with a formality for emails to kids' schools, activities, tutors, doctors, etc. When I receive emails from schools, tutors, doctors, etc, I get the same level of formality. This is for the UK, where I also get emails from people who make it clear that they are to be addressed as "Mr X" or "Mrs Y". I wouldn't use this with friends or work colleagues; for friends, I would be more friendly and personal, for work colleagues, depends on the relationship and number of people on the email chain. If it's a work thing where I'm dealing with someone I know well, I'd just saying something like Hi X, here's the document you asked for" or similar.
  15. "I hope you are well" and similar sound very UK to me. I would feel rude if I just started an email to someone in the UK (other than a friend or work colleague) with business matters or a question. It's usually "I hope you are well" or "Thank you for your email" or "I hope you had a good weekend" or similar. It's not just me either; most of the people I would correspond with are the same. The US seems different though. People just jump right into the email. No judgment from me either way, or one people's reactions.
  16. To follow up -- So we had a pleasant meeting with the 504 team, who were all on board and agreed that DS would definitely qualify for a 504 plan IF he were enrolled at the school (right now he's attending an afterschool club only). So they want to say no he doesn't get one and will tell the College Board that he doesn't get one. I pointed out that this doesn't really make sense, as I think the main question is whether his issues are such that he is entitled to a 504 plan rather than whether he has one in school. They've agreed to go do some factfinding. They were very nice but not as knowledgeable as would be helpful.
  17. Been there three times so far but have a few years off until #4 applies, although I'm helping a kid pro bono and she said "I don't know if I applied to school X yet. Maybe. Maybe not". You have my sincere sympathy. It will work out.
  18. I'm new to this smoke and I don't like it! Feeling a bit unwell. I don't think the HEPA filters are working well. Any recommendations for smaller air purifiers that can be used for one room?
  19. Is the information on optional coming from the Common Data Set, or the application information? I would check what the CDS says as well. I tend to think that "optional" in this context means "not really optional but we're going to tell you it is and then decide later whether we think it was optional". But maybe I'm just a cynic.
  20. That's awful. We're having a horrible DE experience here. DS is doing his first DE class this semester. It's online through a university that I thought was meant to be pretty good. The teacher provides zero feedback on the substance of the assignments, only on the formatting. Everything has to be in perfect APA 7 format, right down to the "you were supposed to add a blank double space here" kind of comments. I wouldn't object so much if he were also providing feedback on the content of DS's work, but there has been literally nothing other than "good work". I helped DS with the formatting and, for the one area for which APA 7 wasn't clear, we looked at other .edu resources online, which advised him to format this in one way. Nope, teacher decided that his own personal and random interpretation was right, despite our having two sources backing our interpretation, although he admitted that the rules weren't at all clear. I cannot wait until this class is done and "I" can provide some feedback!
  21. I came across this that might be useful: https://reallifeplanning.com/blog/real-estate-college-planning Looks like it would be net worth and Zillow/Redfin if those are reasonable figures.
  22. Not sure if you're talking about second homes or primary residences, but I thought (last info I saw) that the FAFSA doesn't consider the value of your residence.
  23. Sturbridge Village. Also anything where you sleep in the museum overnight.
  24. If she's planning on applying to competitive law schools, I'd say that one issue would be how these schools view graduating early. She may be more competitive with an extra year that shows breadth of interest/knowledge. Or maybe not -- I don't know as law school has changed since I attended. If there's an advisor at her college specializing in law school admissions, I'd suggest she ask them.
  25. Thanks -- we had that issue with his older brother! Accommodations were all sorted in the UK for his exams but then he went to the US for uni and it was a mad scramble at the last minute to find a US-based ed psych in the middle of the pandemic to evaluate him by Zoom for dysgraphia (not to mention trying to get the info out of the disabilities office at his college). DS the younger is a sophomore this year, so a complete re-evaluation as a junior might make sense.
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