LIttle late as well but will add DS: Results: accepted at Brown, waitlisted at UChicago, Stanford, Yale and Columbia, rejected at Princeton, Harvard, Amherst and Williams. Yup, no safeties or matches in the bunch. Not out of arrogance. Gap year was the safety. Will attend; Brown, since that's the only place he got in lol. Major: American history and music What we learned: sibling legacy meant nothing, parent legacy seems to have required an EA application (heard that elsewhere for this school as well), and demonstrated interest counts for a lot in this case. Effectively, I figured DS stood no chance at Yale and Stanford at all, but I think the music got him the Yale WL and Stanford seems to like his secondary school. Very surprised by the sibling legacy rejections as both siblings do extraordinarily well at their schools. DS visited Brown twice, made sure the AdCom knew this, and spent a fair bit of time getting to know the music people -- not to boost his chances, but out of genuine interest in discovering whether Brown is a fit. Brown was in his top three so life is good. What else I learned from legit experts I spoke with this past week about the WL: kids have been accepted to Yale/Harvard and rejected at Brown, a case where UChicago wl a kid they figured would get into HYP (didn't, but once UChicago knew that, he got off the WL) and it's all a bit crazy.

What about adding some small more liberal arts schools, such as some of the NESCAC schools? Some of these are generous with aid, and with your DD's interest in herpetology, adcoms would likely find her to be an interesting candidate.

https://ipfs.io/ipfs/QmXoypizjW3WknFiJnKLwHCnL72vedxjQkDDP1mXWo6uco/wiki/Little_Ivies.html Great schools!

Thank goodness it's all over now ... DS decided in December to apply only to five Ivies, Stanford and two little Ivies. No safeties, no matches. He had the application material ready, but decided that if he couldn't get into one of his very top choices, he would prefer to take a gap year. Since he's in the English system with no real grades for the last two years until his summer exams, this made sense from the perspective of having real grades rather than predicteds in his application. But wow the stress has been crazy. Two unexpected denials from schools where he had a good shot for various reasons, waitlist from a school where he forgot to send in his arts supplement (and the arts part is what sets him apart from 30,000 other applicants) and didn't respond to the school's prompt. He knew the odds and accepted them but didn't take into account the stress for me lol. DS was fine with his choice and got a great gap year gig, so it was really just my stress. So yesterday was nuts but thank goodness he got into Brown, which was tied for top choice with Yale, where he was waitlisted. So much relief and rejoicing here. Thank goodness #4 is only in 7th grade; it's going to take me a few years to recover from the last few months.

Just a thought on cooking for yourself -- depending on how long you'll be in London, you could consider placing a food order with Ocado. They deliver in one-hour slots and require 40 pounds minimum for delivery. If you're staying near central London, you may not have access to large grocery stores and may be limited to smaller stores with a smaller selection. The three you'll likely encounter are Waitrose (nicest and pricier), Sainsbury's (middle) and Tesco (cheaper). Ocado delivers their own stuff as well as Waitrose I believe.

Here's a bit more info about All Hallows by the Tower: http://www.americanhistoryinlondon.com/baptism-of-william-penn-marriage-of-john-adams.html Disclaimer: the website is DS17's pet project, so I'm shamelessly promoting it. He does have some interesting information about places in London you might be interested in seeing if you're in the neighbourhood, such as the site where the Liberty Bell was cast.

So DS12 was doing great in judo and recently added karate (got named student of the month the first month he was there which was encouraging) .... and then injured a tendon in his right finger and is now off all sport (judo, karate, gymnastics) for at least a month and probably more. The finger is in a split, so as long as he doesn't actually hit anything with the finger and nothing hits the finger, he is okay to move. The hand surgeon said that karate moves, for example, would be okay, just no sparring. An online class seems like the safest bet to keep DS from going crazy without any sport while protecting the finger. I see there's quite a few providers online now -- does anyone have any recommendations for us?

Thanks all! @Margaret in CO I think DS would love to join your Troop! Reading this I realise that one issues the Scouts in our Troop have is not knowing when the SM is going to step in and take the lead, and when they (especially SPL/ASPL/PLs) should. At the "planning" meeting, DS, for example, tried to remind the group of the cooking/camping mb requirements. The SM just ignored him. I would have said, hey Scouts, these are the requirements, figure out how to ensure that you meet them. SM just assigned groups according to his (incorrect) interpretation of the requirements. At the campout I saw our SPL doing a great job of going over the required safety guidelines with the Scouts at one activity, only to have the SM suddenly appear out of nowhere, ignore SPL's efforts and do the safety talk himself. As a result, the Scouts often just wait to be told what to do. Sometimes though the SM thinks they should be taking action and tells them off for not taking action. Sometimes the Scouts take initiative and are then shut down. I'd like to let DS go to campouts by himself, but I really don't think it's safe. There are often no older Scouts along (so oldest Scout at most campouts is often just turned 13) and those older Scouts who do show up refuse to help or to lead (as in, literally refuse to help -- DS asked the oldest Scout at the campout for help and the Scout refused because he was too busy messing around). There's also a boy or two who have issues, that I happen to know about, and there's no way on this planet I'm letting DS alone in a group with a kid with this history of dangerous actions, especially because this kid likes to pick on DS and stir up trouble (eg telling another Scout that DS was messing with the Scout's tent, so the other Scout comes tattling to me to discipline DS, when DS was nowhere close to the tent. Also making fun of DS for not knowing things like "that's what she said" etc). I did of course tell the Scout not to run to me but to sort it out directly with DS. I know there's at least one other family that has a parent present at all campouts, so I think I'm not alone in my concerns. Actually, reading this and the replies makes me realise that there's quite a lot going wrong in the Troop. Fortunately there's only one campout before the end of the year, and we know we have a conflict so cannot go.

Cooking MBC wasn't, but ime the SM would overrule the MBC. We do have Committee Meetings, which I attend, but there's a lot of talk with no change. At the last one we discussed survey results, which showed those involved wanted more boy-led activities with less top-down management, but the SM's response was effectively to refuse to acknowledge an issue. At least DS has his 20 camping nights now.

Just trying to get some perspective here and have a bit of a vent... how does your Troop run? DS and I just got back from a two-night campout that was not fun at all. About half of the campouts are fun, the rest miserable. Our SM likes to say the Troop is boy-led, but actually is a bit of a micro-manager. DS tried to do camping cooking for the cooking merit badge this weekend at a campout. SM assigned himself to DS's cooking group (DS was the only one from his patrol there, so he couldn't cook for his patrol). SM said that DS could cook for himself, the SM and another adult to meet the requirements (technically, he's wrong, but when I questioned him I was told off). DS got up at 6.30, started a fire (I was there to take instructions from him if he wanted my help) and added charcoal to do foilpack breakfast. SM wakes up an hour later, comes over, criticizes DS's fire, tell him to do this, then do that, then this, etc. DS is getting nervous and stressy. At lunch, SM comes over and tells DS to use oil, not butter, for the eggs, tells DS that the hole in the bread isn't big enough to crack the egg into, etc etc etc. SM offers to be sous-chef, DS says he's fine on his own, and SM is visibly put out. DS puts together a snack, dutch oven dessert (asked an ASM for help but SM kept interfering) and cooked dinner. I was there, and every step of the way, SM was making comments. BUT SM maintains that it's boy-led and that the parents should leave the boys to do their thing (especially the moms -- he's not fond of the moms being there). By the evening DS was losing it. They did a night hike (got back to the campsite at 12.30 am.) and DS was terribly upset the whole time (also two Scouts were pretty unpleasant to him, which didn't help). Anyway, so that's part vent, but also -- how are your Troops run? Do advancement coordinators (I'm one) have any say? Is the SM firmly in control of everything that happens? Basically, I cannot imagine that this is normal, but hey I was never a Scout so what do I know? Older Scouts almost never come on campouts or, for that matter, show up at Troop events, which I think is a result of this treatment. This is the only Troop around ...

I would go ballistic. We had a slightly similar situation a few years ago, when we gently tried to inquire into a situation at DS's school (he was 8 I think). DS was complaining about another kid pestering him, so we asked the teacher for his views (very neutrally). The principal took it on herself to haul DS and the other kid into her office, interrogate them, and then email us that DS was a liar. The teacher had the unenviable job of backpedalling after I went nuts -- turns out DS was fidgeting in class, which annoyed the heck out of the other kid who is on the spectrum (don't get me started on the ethics of revealing that to us). So a simple problem easily solved by separating the boys, if it hadn't been for the headteacher's intervening. Anyway, I've stopped being nice to schools. In this case, I would email the principal, set out the story and ask for the school's side. I would then say, if my child's account is accurate and if xyz, then I will file an official complaint and if necessary pursue legal action. I might then be conciliatory and say, however, I'm sure there must be an alternate explanation and would like to hear it. I would also add that, until the situation is resolved, no one is to speak to your daughter alone about this without you present. I'd then ask for an immediate meeting. Generally I like my kids to fight their own battles, but I've also realised that it's important that they know I have their back. Good luck and I hope this gets resolved quickly.

Sorry, junior school is sort of an elementary school, running pre-K through 7th grade.

And he is thrilled. This is the first job he has ever applied for in his life, and he got it. Back in November he decided that he was interested in a gap year, and would apply only to schools where he had a small chance of getting in. This was on the theory that he would apply only where he really wanted to attend, not to a range of schools that would ensure he had somewhere to attend. A risky idea, and we'll see how it plays out soon enough. This put a bit of pressure on finding a gap year plan, though. Then his school emailed all seniors about a gap-year position to work in a specialist junior school, wanting someone with DS's exact skills and background. He interviewed yesterday and was made the offer last night. Now, if he gets in anywhere, he'll ask for a deferral and hope that is permitted. In any event, he is set for next year. I'm really happy for him.

Thanks. I think the part about recommendations is what is particularly concerning, as DD will be asking for these and Jane is in a position to exert some influence on these. I agree that it's the reporting that is the issue, and that, in and of itself, the relationship could be dealt with. I've suggested to DD that, as you say, she go talk to someone in confidence and provide evidence of the texts and so on, without asking for action to be taken with respect to Jane. The whole thing sounds very middle school to me. DD, having been homeschooled between ages 11 and 16, clearly missed this part of socialisation and is at a loss. Lol. Thing is, I remember a TA from college who was a good friend. We would have meals together or hang out in the library together, but never socialize outside of this. But I respected him for his age and wisdom (he was all of 26 or so I believe) and found it so helpful to have someone in between college age and faculty age to be friendly with. So I think there's a value in such relationshps, just not when they're taken to this extent. Thanks all!

Just trying to get a sense of what's usual now ... one of my DDs is heavily involved in an extracurricular at her university. There's a fulltime faculty member in charge and a fulltime junior staff/faculty member (Jane, age 26 or so) who is his assistant. Jane helps run the extracurricular, but Jane is also very very friendly with many of the students in the EC. For example, Jane is in a number of chat groups with students (and not just hey guys times have changed types of groups but groups that gossip about other students etc). Jane regularly hangs out with students, has lunches, does fun stuff with them, etc. Jane also has some "power" over the students in that she helps make decisions about who gets what role in the extracurricular and who gets special parts and so on. I suspect, from information I have personally been given, that Jane is also passing private information she gets back to the faculty member in charge. DD has shown me some chat group texts and so on and I agree that a faculty member should not be participating in these conversations as they're ridiculous, gossipy and not cool (who's with whom, who is disliked, etc). Normally I would warn DD to be a bit careful of Jane, as she doesn't seem to understand appropriate boundaries. Now, however, things are spiralling out of hand. DD figured out on her own that Jane was behaving without respect for boundaries, and has pulled back on her friendship with Jane (they used to be quite close, and DD's BFF is extremely close to Jane). Jane is now gossiping about DD behind her back, telling DD's BFF that DD is ghosting her (bc DD hasn't responded to two texts). Jane has sent DD some texts that were inappropriate in the sense that they were giving advice over matters that don't concern Jane at all. Jane also reported DD to the university, supposedly because of concerns about DD. DD got abruptly called in to talk to a dean, who agreed that the texts were inappropriate and that DD is fine (for that matter, I have no concerns about DD -- I think reporting her to the university was a move in response to DD's pulling back on the friendship). DD is very upset by all of this, because she is extremely softhearted and worried about losing her BFF if she isn't friendly with Jane. Having said this, I'm not there to see for myself. Maybe this is normal on campuses these days? Maybe all junior faculty are buddy-buddy with the students? It seems very strange to me. DD has considered reporting Jane to the department to say that Jane is overstepping, but has been advised by another faculty member (who has no power and is outside the situation) that this will backfire and lead to negative consequences for DD. I'm trying to help DD think through this and come up with some good options. Obviously she needs to sort this out on her own, but is actively coming to me to seek my views and so I feel it appropriate to give her advice (whether she takes it or not is up to her). I also need to figure out at what point I go to the university, if this gets out of control. Anyway, sorry so long -- practical suggestions and commiserations are welcome please. I may delete later bc of identifying information.

I'm with Sebastian on this one. I'm also working on a certificate in Independent Educational Consulting and, as part of that, spend a lot of time reading on this subject. We did use two consultants for my DDs, who were in a highly unusual high school situation. The first was expensive and awful. The second helped only with the essay and was great. DDs really enjoyed writing the essays. For the rest of their application, we were lucky that there were people at their three different schools who were able to help with their crazy homeschool and regular school transcripts and so on. In summary, I think IECs can be very useful, particularly in certain situations. IECs can act as a buffer between parent and child, help international students understand how the US is different, help American students understand international options and help find financial aid, merit scholarships or work with recruited athletes and artists/musicians. That said, I am getting the impression that IECs are becoming a go-to for wealthy families, and I dislike this. I'd prefer to see IECs working with students whose parents cannot easily figure out the process (like first gen kids from schools that don't send kids to college) and students who need a bit of extra advice.

IIRC but could be wrong, isn't Williams on your list? If so, feel free to PM me re maths there. DD is at Williams.

Snap.

I think the problem would likely be in how many courses are being offered each term, and whether there are enough courses being offered so that time conflicts are minimised. One of mine is at a small liberal arts school and takes a language. Because the department is small, the courses she needs are only offered in one time slot each semester, making it easy for conflicts to arise with other classes. Also whether professors are going to be on leave -- if one of four is away for a semester or year, that's a significant percentage of the department. It might be worth checking also whether the professors are tenured and less likely to leave permanently. If you can look at the course catalog for the last few years, that should give you a sense of whether there will be enough classes offered at the level your DS needs.

The following have an average of above 50 per cent receiving merit aid: Case Western, Creighton, Gustavus Adolphus College, Augustana, Clark, Grinnell, St. Olaf. Average merit aid is between 16K and 23K, but obviously an average doesn't really tell the whole story. Macalaster is around 40 per cent, with an average of 15K, and Carleton is 11 per cent, around 4.5K. Here's an interesting spreadsheet that lists this for you: http://www.personalcollegeadmissions.com/need-and-merit If you're considering St. Andrew's, then I would suggest adding Edinburgh and if you really want cloudy and overcast and cheap but good, one of the university colleges in NL.

I'd be tempted to ask them why they refuse to recognize the value in unpaid labor, and whether they recognize the unduly disparate impact this rule has on women who are more likely to stay home to raise children? I would hint that this attitude is discriminatory. But then again I am grumpy today.

I interview for an Ivy and my kids have had Ivy interviews. I've seen kids dress quite casually and some formally. My own preference is in between, so a chinos and button-down shirt for DS and skirt/sweater or nice dress for DDs. As an interviewer, I like to see that the student is taking the interview seriously (and so like them to look neat and a little bit dressed up -- no jeans) but I would hate for a student to get too stressed about it.

LOL ... DD just told me that the RAs get free jackets saying they're RAs. The jackets for this year just arrived this week, even though RAs have been doing their jobs since September.

If hearing hasn't been tested (but if she's seeing a SLP I assume it has?), I would suggest checking that. One of mine displayed similar sorts of behaviour for a while, alongside significant unilateral hearing loss, and the ENT told us that some of the sensory-seeking behaviour (no personal space) was typical of some kids with hearing loss. Also OT.

I have to say I haven't been thrilled by DD's experience as an RA -- it takes time, requires her to be responsible for a bunch of freshmen, and provides no financial or other compensation other than the cv value. The school is a full-need met school, so I imagine that's why the school won't pay, but it still seems wrong to me to expect this level of effort from a student on behalf of the school without compensation. I was absolutely livid when she was put into a tiny room with no closet, while freshmen around her had decent rooms. Also, she hasn't been able to room with friends and there's been a bit of friction in the RA group for her dorm, which has made the social experience fairly negative. Here's hoping the cv value makes it worth it.