I remember going to a friend's house for dinner in high school. I tried like heck to get out of it but it was getting awkward so I went. I remember looking around thinking that they had chairs for everyone to sit in. In my family, kids sat on the floor to eat. I started sweating when I saw that there was a spoon AND a fork AND a knife at each matched plate. I knew then that I wanted that --- to have all that matched silverware and plates for each person. I wanted it so badly and I felt horrible when I went home. About the bra thing -- I am too blessed in that department. Years of wearing cheap, ill-fitting bras have left me with fallen "splendor". I knew I had made it when I could buy underwire bras that didn't make me look like a 92 year old woman. Yep, I was at Montgomery Ward, and I bought a matching set of undies but I felt guilty whenever I wore them because they hadn't come in a pack. No way I would I ever change out a bra every six months.

Everyone is mentioning shoes. Does anyone have problems buying new bras? I have that ice water in the stomach feeling when I need bras or undies, when safety pins won't do it anymore. Just this feeling of shame or helplessness that the money has to be spent on just me.

Honey, I am from the South -- which means I can have an hour long. interesting conversation about the weather with a stranger (and I am an introvert). I ask and answer questions and simply divert someone if they get too personal. Since I am getting mature in my years, I have been known to do a Barbara Bush ("You should be ashamed of yourself)" to very personal questions from my daughter's friends. It is weird. Despite being an introvert, I always come home from parties with everyone's personal business. I think people are just so desperate to talk sometimes that merely nodding your head can keep a conversation going. There are a lot of people living "lives of quiet desperation."

Brought my sense of sexy back. For a plus-sized 50 year old woman, it was a challenge to look in the mirror and see me, the me who shimmies and shakes as she cleans house when the right song comes on. The happy, beautiful woman who calls up her husband to meet her for lunch and walks in dressed to kill, head high, with a smile for everyone. Anyway, I learned sexy was a state of mind (mine) and not what an advertising ad or commercial said it was.

Yes, my husband. I was determined never to marry again and told him "No" multiple times. Guess he convinced me -- married for over twenty years.

Dang, people. No where in my post did I suggest I was taking my dog to stores or other places where dogs are not allowed. I don't. For the record, my dog responds to voice and hand commands. She has completed therapy, advanced obedience, and agility training. She has her CGC. What I am saying is that in order for her to respond to my commands in a public place, she must be allowed to interact with the public. So while I have to tolerate bad behaved children/adults in places where I spend my dollars, no one will have to tolerate my well-behaved dog where she is not allowed. Where she is allowed, we go.

You can't have a well-behaved dog if you are not allowed to take it anywhere. It is not entitlement; it is a training fact. Entitlement is changing a diaper on the table next to me in the restaurant as my dog sits quietly on her mat. Entitlement is letting your kids roam free in a store where they enjoy tripping older customers on purpose. Entitlement is paying no attention to the ongoing screaming of your own child and causing true agony to all hearing aid wearers. Entitlement, quite simply, is a title given to any side you want no part of. How dare they, we judge. Why is it never an introspection of "how dare I?"

We didn't eat out with my daughter until she was maybe seven. Why? A close family member owns a restaurant. She told me that lots of people get up and leave (and don't pay) if a child will not stop crying/screaming. After that, I kept thinking about the economic loss to the owner of the eatery if I could not stop my child from crying.

My life is spent gardening, mowing, cleaning, reading, paying bills, etc. That is the stuff that everyone has to do but we have lots of acreage so there is always something. My love is dog training and I am blessed with a high-energy, highly intelligent Belgian who tries to out maneuver me everyday. We train in agility, frisbee, and obedience, as well as stupid pet tricks. I throw between 60 -100 frisbees a day - wind, snow, rain, or shine. I am partially disabled so this dog taxes me to my limit; she has to run ahead and listen for my commands. On bad days, she unloads the dryer and tries to fold clothes (not kidding--had to video to prove it to my husband). She is there to balance my leg before I even know my knee will lock. She picks up the things I drop unless they are edible. She is Nana from Peter Pan, Benji, and Lassie (along with a little Cujo) rolled into one. We have come a long way-- at 8 weeks she hid under chairs and would let no one pet her. She has made my life more than full and now is the demo dog we use to help problem pups.

Age about 10, hit the concrete sidewalk trying to pop a wheelie on my cousin's bike. Woke up at home in my own bed. Apparently passed out when I hit the sidewalk, and since I wasn't bleeding; they just took me home. Same age, sitting with a book on my knees. Tried to see if I could turn the page by jiggling my knee. Somehow hit my lip with my knee and bled all over the place. Age 20, trying to avoid dog, I tripped and fell down the stairs. Was in a cast and lost my chance to go out with Mr. McDreamy of that time period. Poked myself in the eye with a mascara wand and got an eye infection. Trying to look less like a nerd, I bought a pair of boots with high heels. Fell down while walking in them and put the boot heel through my own hand when getting up. Cured me of trying to look less like a nerd. I have a million of these. My mother wonders how I have stayed alive so long.

What about black looters who steal from black people? How does that fit into "everything to do with race." Living in Louisiana, we had our share of hurricanes. The men on our block took turns staying at our homes because the looters would come and take what little the flood did not damage. Yep, all those things you learn to pack into Tupperware containers -- pictures, valuables, personal items -- all the things you can't take with you because you can't, not enough room -- someone will steal out of your house. My uncle was shot by two men trying to loot his house during Rita, a house that was flooded and that they used a boat to get to. Are all looters black? Of course not. But to imply that looters don't steal from other black/white people is just stupid. These people are not looking for food: they are there to take what the flooding has made suddenly available to them. It is not a myth. Usually the sound of a rifle shot into the air is enough to let them know someone is still in the home. Do you understand the crushing disappointment you feel in humanity when you stay days without electricity and are using water out of the bathtub to flush the toilet, only to find men and boys sneaking up to your house to see if anyone is home (in order to rob your house)? Best penalty would be to give them to us. We don't care about their race.

Well, I have a dog in therapy class right now. I am familiar with therapy vs service vs emotional support. I have seen numerous ES dogs in the dentist and doctor's offices. I have seen them in restaurants, stores, etc. I have also seen therapy dogs (denoted by their vests) in both restaurants and stores, maybe because the owner is coming from or going to a nursing home, etc. and can not leave the dog in the car. I agree that the names are used incorrectly but I have also noticed that retail and non-medical people will not ask questions if a dog is wearing a therapy, ES, or service vest. Clearly better rules should be hashed out as more people are claiming the need for ES dogs and I believe that all dogs should be trained in order to be certified as therapy, ES, or service. About the dogs for balance issues. It is correct that a dog about 50 pounds and up can be trained to counter balance. My Belgian does it for me when my knee goes out. However, it is unlikely that such a small dog can be used to help lift a non-petite adult from being prone on the ground if there is no other object around to help alleviate the person's weight. I may be mistaken, but dogs used to help adults who fall and need help getting up are usually mastiffs, Great Danes, etc. Goldens and labs are used (but usually the bigger boned ones) for children. I wish you well in finding a dog for your daughter. After speaking with a doctor, you may want to schedule an appointment with the coordinator of a service organization to translate those needs into a "service speak evaluation" of your daughter's needs so you can use it to contact various reputable service dogs organization and let them know what you need. If you decide to train the dog yourselves and then have him/her certified, the evaluation will give the trainer you use a blueprint to help you achieve your goal. Good luck.

If you are looking for a dog to help with balance, that would be an pretty big dog for an adult female. The only two I know of that are used for that purpose are a mastiff and a huge German shepherd. Service dogs take a long time to train (around 18 months) so the wait is long. I do know of a woman who trained her own emotional support dog and got it certified as a therapy dog so it could wear that vest instead of one that said emotional support dog. It took her two years, starting with a 3 month old puppy. The dog is phenomenal, it is about 4 years old now. She did this with the help of a private dog trainer because she did not want to stay on a waiting list. The dog was adopted at the animal shelter and is a mixed breed.

I am bi-racial, have lived in the Deep South most of my life. This is my own personal take on things. Stop threads like these that mark me as different or as a victim. I am not. Treat me as you politely treat anyone off the street. Don't bend over backwards or make weird apologies for what happen hundreds of years ago. Don't ever forget what happened -- it is history, but don't let it be the very first thing you apologize for when you meet me. Don't assume. Don't assume. Don't assume I want to rip apart white Western civilization. I've taught it. I only want to add books, stories and statues that celebrate important people of other races. Support me by supporting all. Do not support me by marginalizing anyone. I'm tired. I am so tired of both sides. I am tired of the white apologist and the black aggressor. I am tired of the white aggressor and the black apologist. I am so tired of people asking me what they can do. You, yourself, need to change if you treat anyone without the dignity they deserve. Other than that, you're good. Oh, and on a side note, don't touch my hair.

Lived in the Deep South most of my life and now live in rural VA. Never heard anything like that from a doctor. Now, I have heard "Where are you from?" and "How is so and so's {insert medical problem here)?" Nothing on evolution, except that video about the evolution of dance.

I have curly hair that exists only to please itself. It is below my shoulders, silver and black, and shrinks to half its length at over 70% humidity. I have it cut every 3 months, braid it, put it in a pony tail, or just wear a headband for the lion mane look. The best thing I can say about it is that my husband loves it.

I only wear makeup for events that are outside my home. I do it because, to me, it is part of the "getting dressed up" routine. I suppose I think it gives me a more polished look with my stylish (hopefully!) clothes. Day-to-day, I don't wear it around the house, the grocery store, dog class, or the doctor/dentist. This was a good question. I can't tell you when the makeup routine faded for me. I know it was big in my teens and twenties but somewhere along the way I became ok without it.

Leashes always unless on your property. I bought pepper spray because I was so tired of my dog being rushed at Petsmart and when walking on leash at the park. If the dog rushing us does not respond to my Sit command and looks dangerous, I spray them. I am referring to dogs coming at us silently or in full attack growling mode, not the average "Let's sniff butts" dog. I don't use dog parks so I can't tell you about those.

To the pet store, training seminars, Home Depot, Lowe's, outdoor eateries (tables outside--she stays under the table on her mat), downtown walking mall, local boarding school, walking track around high school, walking around the park, hotels that allow dogs, and the vet. We are currently in therapy dog training so I hope to one day include nursing homes and the veterans center. I never take my dog to the dog park. Too many untrained dogs and owners. The dog park here is more of a fight club than a play ground.

People bringing aggressive dogs to Petsmart. If you can't control your dog, it is not a smart idea to bring it to a place where there are lots of adults and little kids milling about. A man with a pit bull was standing inside, right next to the door at Petsmart. Every dog that had to go in or out of the door had to go by them. His dog growled and lunged repeatedly. So tired of it. Happens once weekly, just change the color of the dog. It is wrong to think -ok, I have my keys, my dog, and pepper spray-- we can leave now.

I started going gray during my pregnancy. I thought I would just do foils and gradually go gray as more of my hair became gray. Fast forward about five years and I had a terrible reaction to the hair coloring I had been using (in foils) all along. The reaction was so bad (burns on my neck, ears, and face) that my doctor told me next time I would end up in the hospital. I never used coloring again. I just let the gray grow out until it was about neck length and cut it. Now it is beyond my shoulders and I have come to terms with that lady in the mirror with the young face and curly salt and pepper hair. It is probably a good thing or I would have rocked my black hair until my eighties.

Frequently. We live in rural VA and it is a heavily treed area. Fallen limbs from wind and snow happen, mostly wind. We bought an outside generator that powers our well, septic system, air/heat/lights in one bathroom and bedroom, frig, garage freezer, and microwave. We can also run a land line or charge computers/or phones from 2 powered outlets. The longest we have been without power is 4 days.

We are traditional only in the fact that he works and I do not. We both cook, depending on whose week it is. We both clean the house, mow the grass, pick up dog poop, etc. It just depends on who is available to do the task --- if he is at work: I'll clean part of the house. If I am on the mower, he will clean the floors, toilets, dishes, etc.. He handles all car and machine maintenance and I handle all money issues because those tasks play to our individual strengths. When we homeschooled, it was pretty much the same except I has all the responsibility of the actual teaching. He did a lot of the house work and cooking then. Now I would say we are on more of an equal balance again.

Well, that depends on the type of dog you get. Some breeds are energetic; some are not. Even within a breed, dog personalities are different. First, ask yourself what you want to DO with the dog. Do you want a friend for the kids as in a dog that will play nonstop or more of a buddy to throw a couple of sticks for and then watch some TV? Determine what you want the dog to be in your household first and then look for a dog that fits that profile. You and your family will both be happier. Secondly, puppies of every breed are a lot of work. Puppy shots that first year are expensive. Puppies should be trained to obey basic commands like sit, stay, etc. so add in a training class with a professional. Puppies need exercise; a tired puppy is a happy puppy. If you don't want to go through the puppy stage, there are lots of breed rescues where you can find an older (maybe housebroken) dog. Puppies also need lots of supervision and have to be taught your rules, but any dog that comes into your home will have to be taught that. Dogs, especially smaller ones, live a long time - 15 years if you are lucky. Are you prepared for that commitment? I can't tell you the average cost of a dog. I choose insanely high-energy, super smart herding breeds. I throw over 100 frisbees per day on top of what my husband does with walking the dog. My dog is very well trained (voice and hand signals) and training is a hobby for me. My dog sheds a lot and I vacuum every day. But to me, all that is worth it because she fits exactly what I wanted my dog to be -- my companion, my training buddy, and my protector. Ask yourself some hard questions. If the answers don't match having a dog of your own, let your kids start a dog sitting business or volunteer to exercise the dogs of an older person. Anything is better than getting a dog that doesn't match your needs and wants.

Well, I homeschooled for 11.5 years. The high school years were rough and we moved (military) throughout. I was so tired when it was over. Tired like I had the worse flu ever. So I slept around 12- 14 hours a day with naps throughout the day. Basically I slept when the dog slept, so I would exercise her and then siesta for both us. After about six months, I started looking around me. It helped that I live in a beautiful area and I let the silence and that beauty fill me up. I began to feel like the old me again, the pre-kid me. At almost a year out, I now have much more energy. i exercise, garden, draw, etc... but life is still kinda cushioned with me avoiding the people who would ask me everyday "so what are you going to do?" I want to focus on my own goals, not on some level of productivity that others think I should attain. I was really looking forward to the end of homeschooling and having an empty nest, so I don't view any of the above as depression. For me it was a resetting of myself - a healing of my body and mind. I had forgotten who I was and it took me a year of silence and beauty to find my way back to me, a twenty-year-older me. I had to walk around this person, kick the tires, and check under the hood. Also, I see my husband in a new light. I discovered that I really do LIKE the guy. We have discussions, watch movies, hold hands and watch the fireflies. He was standing there the whole time but I now I appreciated him, this twenty-year-older him. The only negative in all of this is that certain members of my family couldn't handle the shift to me. The old me kept everyone's interests before mine and made lives run smoothly at the expense of a life of my own. I didn't know I was doing that until I stepped out of my old ruts. Hopefully, time will heal these tiffs. I would tell you to take all the time you need. Your time table is unique. Find you again and then branch out to other people. You are going through a new birth --your own. Listen to yourself; you will know when you are ready to move on.