We did a mission when we went. It was maybe six years ago, so it may have changed since then. We had a blast! The museum was great overall, but the mission threw it over the top. Ours was all inside the museum; I don't think there was another option at the time.

In your current situation, I'd go with group 2. Those security restrictions are no fun, especially for kids who are growing up and need to not be under mom and dad's constant supervision. I'd save the group one places for when the kids are in college, or if you have a window when the older is in college and the younger is still young enough not to be as affected.

We're about to start week 3 ... we only took a week off between preschool and preK, because we need to be done before an international move next spring, and we know we'll take off about a month for vacation in Sept/Oct, as well as a couple of weeks at Christmas. So far it's going well ...

When my daughter was born, my SIL had a bunch of people who she wanted to meet the baby. I didn't know any of these people and didn't care if they met my daughter or not--and really didn't want to entertain a long string of them at different times--but they had distant connections to my husband (from his childhood), and he said he'd like to see them again. So when my SIL wanted to host a "meet the baby" party to get all these people taken care of at once, and also include her husband's family (whom I have met and like but don't have a close relationship with), we agreed to it. I didn't expect gifts, but a few people brought them. I had not had a baby shower in that area, as we were living overseas and had come back to the States specifically for the birth.

None of our family tried to talk to us about marriage before we married ... and if they had, based on the states of their marriages at the time (and continuing through to today), I would have done exactly the opposite of whatever they recommended anyway--some of them have tried to give marriage advice since that time, but we almost never take it, and we are not divorced and have never considered divorce, nor have either of us ever threatened to leave the other if something didn't change, which makes us unique in our family. The pastor did what he called premarital counseling ... we shared a meal with him and he talked to us for about 20 minutes. We decided not to pay for real premarital counseling from a licensed therapist/counselor, but only because we'd been long distance for a long time and had spent a lot of time discussing ALL the hot button issues over the phone--much more talking, much less other stuff when you're long distance. Even then, we did buy a premarital workbook from the Christian book store and worked through it together to make sure we hadn't misssed anything. If we hadn't felt pretty confident that we'd talked things out and were compatible on all the major issues (money management, having and rearing children, religion, household roles, even where we'd live and how much my husband would travel for work), we would have paid for real counseling. We'd both seen, and lived as children of, miserable marriages, and we were determined that we wouldn't do that to ourselves or to our future children, but as Christians, divorce also was not an option. We had to get it right on the first try, and we were willing to do a lot of work to make sure we did.

In Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series ... one aspect of the Aiel people's morality really stuck with me: Do what you have to do, and then willingly accept the consequences. The most extreme example in the book was the Aiel man who killed a man who had frivolously applied sacred tattoos to himself; the tattoos represented that the man had gone through a very serious rite of passage and was deserving of great respect, but the man had not done that. According to Aiel law, the man should die--but they were not in Aiel lands; they were in a place where the man was not condemned to death for that action, and where anyone who killed him for that was subject to the death penalty. So the Aiel man killed the man whom he believed he was morally obligated to kill, then reported for his own execution without ever having been constrained. He could have run away, but he didn't--he did what he felt that he had to do, and then he accepted the consequences. The books are full of examples of Aiel people accepting the consequences of their actions, not raging or whining or trying to get out of it, but simply accepting, "I did that. This is the consequence of that. I believe strongly enough in that to be willing to accept this." It really struck the right balance for me, someone who feels a strong need to follow the rules, but at the same time, a strong need to do the thing I believe is morally correct even if it violates a rule. I used to just obey rules blindly, but now if it's something I question, I really think it through: Is this something I have to do? Is my need to do this strong enough that I will accept the consequences willingly? If yes to both, I do it and then accept the consequences. If I'm not willing to accept the consequences, I don't do it.

Talk to your friend and see if there's something she really enjoys that you could bring her as a "guest gift." Maybe a luxury item she wouldn't buy for herself, or a box of really good chocolate, bottle of wine ...

Google Translate. It's free. I use it all the time ... it translates the labels on grocery items for me (they could be labeled in any one of five or six languages, none of which I speak, much less read). Seconding the motion for your daughter to skip the bars. Drunk girls attract way too much of the worst possible kind of attention, and your daughter wants none of that.

Ticks, and tick-borne diseases, are a big issue where I currently live. Our health unit recently sent out an advisory about how to prevent tick bites, how to remove ticks, etc. They say that if the tick is attached to you for less than 24 hours, the likelihood of being infected is small, but you should monitor yourself for a few days to see if any symptoms develop ... of course, they neglected to tell us what symptoms are common with lymes or the other, nastier tick-borne diseases around here, but I guess Google can close that gap if necessary. Since you're going to the doctor and he should be familiar with all the relevant information, I wouldn't worry about it. The tick was attached for a short enough time that, according to our med people at least, you should be in the clear. I'd assume allergic reaction unless told otherwise ... but I would get that appointment ASAP.

I don't know about absolute limits, but I would say this ... if it's a school day, and his work isn't done, he isn't on the computer. Not unless he's on it for an online class or something else directly related to the schoolwork he is supposed to complete that day. And if I catch him on it before his schoolwork is completed, he's off it for the rest of the day, period. (And maybe if it happens twice in a week, he's off it for a week, but that may be a little too hardcore, even for me ...) First things first, and hobbies are not allowed to interfere with school, even if the hobby is one that could become a career one day.

I like the idea of suggesting other activities--those who respond well to that can get an invite later on to use the pool, but those who never quite seem to make other engagements never quite seem to get an invitation to the pool either. I'm so sorry that this is the situation. It hurts when people decide not to be our friends, and even more when they then want the benefit of friendship even though they've made it clear they aren't really interested in us.

Based on what you said about the first part being easy for them ... any possibility of repeating just the second half, where it got hard? Fill in the rest of the year with supplemental stuff, or go slowly enough that the second half takes the whole year? I know lots of people don't do school year round, but they do math year round. Would it be possible to follow the pattern of: school year--you do the non-review stuff at half pace; summer--you do the first part of the next year (the review part) at normal pace?

My husband isn't involved much in the day-to-day. BUT I do tend to do a lot of second-guessing, and want assurance that I'm on the right track. No matter how many times he assures me that he trusts me in this, I want him to approve what I'm doing, so I always tell him and give him the opportunity to look over curricula before I buy. He listens to what I have to say, but rarely actually looks at it unless I hand it to him and say, "Look at this now, please." We've pretty well agreed that I'll do all the research. If there's anything I'm uncertain on, I'll present him the options and the pros/cons. He'll ask any questions he needs to in order to be confident that he's got all the necessary information, and then he'll tell me what to do--if he can tell I'm leaning toward one option, even though another looks pretty good too and he may actually prefer it, he almost always tells me to do what I'm leaning toward, because I'll be the one teaching it, and if I feel an affinity for it, there's a reason, even if I don't know what that reason is. (And, yes, I prefer for him to tell me what to do when I'm waffling, because I'll waffle for months if he doesn't.) He knows that I expect him to be much more involved in math and science curriculum choices when our daughter is ready for formal instruction in those subjects. He's an engineer by trade--math and science matter to him, and he has a much stronger background in those subjects than I do. And if our daughter turns out to be really good at math, he'll probably end up teaching that to her once her abilities outgrow mine. And he doesn't know it yet, but unless we become part of a co-op that handles lab science, he'll be doing that, too ... at least the dissection ones :D

My immediate concern with having them repeat the same thing they just did (and hated) ... are you telling them they failed math this year? Because whether you say it in words or not, by having them repeat the same exact thing again, you're teling them they failed math this year. Even if it's your fault for making them do something that was too advanced for them at that time, and they're more ready for it now, you're still telling them that they did not do an adequate job at the program you thought they could do and forced them to continue despite their most adamant protests. Would it be possible to review that material, but using the MM books and/or another curriculum for a year, then switch to Saxon when they're ready to progress? I just can't imagine a child saying, "Oh, so I failed at this last year, but sure, I'll do it again, and I won't let it sour me on math any more than I would if I hadn't just proven that this is too much for me." But maybe your boys will be ok with it, especially if you tell them that the reason it was so hard for them last year is that it actually *is* 5th grade work (my understanding is that Saxon 5/4 is for 5th graders and advanced 4th graders, but not for your average 4th grade math student, though I may be wrong on that), and you underestimated how difficult the work would be, and it isn't their fault they weren't ready for it yet ... this is a tough situation. I'm not sure what I would do.

Thanks for sharing this!

Even cats who are declawed "scratch"--they do all the same things they would do if they were scratching; they just don't have the claws. OP--I commend you for deciding not to declaw this cat. I know when I was growing up, it was considered normal, but before we brought our two cats home from the shelter, I did the research about what it actually entailed and was horrified to know that we'd done it to my childhood cat and determined never to do it to another one. I don't have any words of advice for you about the double standard, or about whether it's advisable to have a "mixed" household, but our two still have their claws. They have destroyed one chair and left some unsightly marks on another one before we learned, but the presence of LOTS of scratching posts and pads (one of ours prefers to scratch horizontally; the other likes both horizontal and vertical scratching surfacese) plus the ever-present squirt bottle of plain water saved most of the furniture. Good luck to you!

I started home educating my daughter for preschool; we're doing PreK now. Before my husband and I decided what to do with her for preschool, we read through Cathy McDuffy's Top 101 book, especially the first section, where you think about goals etc for your homeschool. Based on what we decided through that process, we chose our preschool curriculum and our PreK curriculum. But I'm coming to realize that the process we went through, while a good process, wasn't really as complete as I prefer. And although I'm happy with what we've done and are doing, I know I want to make a change for K in fall 2015, so this is the perfect time to re-evaluate and move farther along in that process. I can pick curriculum based on what I think best suits our needs at the time--and I fully intend to do that--but I'm beginning to realize that I need more long term planning than that. In order to understand what best suits our current needs, I need to have a better idea of not only where we've been, but where we're going. I need an idea of where I want us to be when my daughter's formal K-12 education is done--without knowing where I want to go, I can't really figure out step by step how to get there. I need (or maybe want, I'm not sure how crucial this is, but it feels pretty important to me right now) to develop a more complete philosophy of education. So my plan is to read the best books I can find to explain the different philosophies/methods of education that are out there and write up nice little summaries for my husband to look over--summaries that explain goals and methods, the pros and cons as I see them, and anything else I perceive as particularly important in that philosophy. Then my husband will read all my summaries, we'll discuss it, and we'll decide on the framework we want to use (whether that be "pure" philosophy A, or an eclectic mix of philosophies A, B, and C). Of course we understand that things can change as we go, and we'll be open to whatever adjustments we need to make as time goes on, but my personality type is such that I need a plan--one I can change if need be, but a plan, rather than winging it year by year. I'm currently reading The Well-Trained Mind as the "classical education guidebook," so to speak. I know I want to read something about Charlotte Mason, but I don't know what. I would appreciate any recommendations for a single book--not a whole series, just one, please!--that explains the CM method in terms that are understandable. Preferably the book will give not just a plan of education, but the reasoning behind why each element is recommended. And it must be available on Kindle. I've heard of Ruth Beechik, but I must confess to not knowing the first thing about her. Would she fall under a classical or CM umbrella, or is hers a philosophy all her own? If all her own, and if you know of a great book for me to read about her philosophy, please do tell. What other philosophies are out there? What should I read? I'm looking for representatives of "pure" educational philosophies to explain clearly what each one is, although I recognize that most people will not follow any philosophy 100%. Also please note that I'm not asking which is best or worst or how they're ranked--that's the work my husband and I will be doing for ourselves--so I'm asking for books that clearly explain even philosophies to which you may be completely opposed. Oh, and ... I'm a bit of a dinosaur. I know that there probably are websites that have all the information I could want about these philosophies, but I really just want books to read, not webpages to navigate and keep track of. I want a linear presentation of these philsophies, not a web full of branching information that I could explore without ever really knowing when I've gotten the complete picture. And although I wouldn't mind a book or webpage that explicitly compares and contrasts different philosophies while minimizing bias, I'd prefer to read about these philosophies from the perspective of those who developed and/or embraced and advocated for them. Thanks for any recommendations you can provide!

Google paleo recipes. There are lots of good ideas out there, and they would meet your dietary needs as far as being grain-free and vegetable-intense. I also run into problems sometimes when I go super healthy and eat mostly vegetables with a little lean meat ... it just isn't filling. The solution for me is to add a little fat to replace the calories that are eliminated by cutting out grains. I usually eat leftovers for lunch, but sometimes I know that my husband will eat every.last.bite of the dinner I make--he has his favorites, you know :) When I'm making something for dinner that I don't expect leftovers, I'll sometimes make one of these as well, just to put in the fridge for lunch the next day: salmon patties (good on their own hot or cold, also good cold with eggs for breakfast or crumbled over salad for lunch) http://balancedbites.com/2010/12/easy-recipe-grain-free-salmon-cakes.html meatballs (there's a whole slew of recipes in the cookbook Well Fed 2, and the author of that book did a "March Meatball Madness" month on her blog, http://theclothesmakethegirl.com, so check out her recipes online too) salad--I know this is what you're tired of, but google different recipes for salad dressings to change it up a little if this really is the easiest/best plan for you Also, possibly the easiest option if you can swing it ... would it be possible to double your dinner recipes in order to ensure leftovers for lunch? (Sometimes that works for me ... except that it doesn't seem to matter how many meatballs or candied carrots or how much roasted cauliflower I make for dinner, my husband will eat every last bite ...)

That sounds like the response I'd expect if my child had said she'd forgotten to show me the note or something, like it was a real possibility that my lack of signing the form was an oversight rather than a deliberate decision. I'd still be ticked, but I'd show some grace if this weren't part of a continuing pattern, like previous comments seem to indicate that it is. Maybe ask your daughter if she said or did anything that could have been misconstrued as "Mom and Dad didn't have the chance to make a decision on this," just for your own peace of mind, since you've said that you like this woman in general? And however you decide to respond to the situation as a whole, I suggest you push for permission forms to have boxes to check ("Yes, I give permission"/"No, I don't give permission") so that there is never any misunderstanding about whether the parent chose No or didn't have the chance to make a decision. (But I'd also keep pointing it out that the professional, ethical thing to do is assume lack of consent in the absence of proof otherwise, rather than the opposite, which is what A did here.)

Do a search for "hair donation." You'll get lots of results. Pick the one you want to give it to; there will be instructions on the website. Do look at their requirements--it must be a certain minimum length, cannot be gray (probably not a problem with your daughter's hair ;) ), usually cannot have been bleached, etc. Most places have a form for you to print out and complete, then put it in an envelope and mail it. Locks of Love is the most well known place. Last time I donated, I gave it to Wigs For Kids instead. For future reference, many salons will cut hair for free or a reduced price if you're donating it. ETA: I really hope she put it in a ponytail or braid, as loose hair usually isn't accepted.

Then I'd go all out. Contact their governing board, and if their response is anything other than horrified at the audacity of the admin, talk to a lawyer about whether they had the legal right to do this and what penalties you can petition for. I also don't reach for the lawyer card first, but in this case ... yep, I'd talk to one. And I haven't even seen whatever else they've done.

I'd send an appropriate gift and not go. It will create a hardship for your family--both financially and logistically--and it doesn't seem that they're all that interested in reconciliation anyway. And your husband doesn't want you to go. No healing a rift with some antagonistic relative at the expense of creating one with your husband. If your husband were supportive of you going or didn't care and left it up to you, then ... maybe. I personally wouldn't in the situation you describe, but if you feel like this is your best shot, then maybe.

You're not overreacting. Some secretary decided that her judgment trumped yours when it comes to your child. I'd be contacting the district about disciplinary action for the office admin. If their response is not satisfactory, I'd be talking to a lawyer to see what we can do to force the district to pay attention to this gross violation of parental rights. Oh, wait, just saw--private school. I assume you've not signed anything in the past giving permission or acknowledging that they have the right to make these decisions? If so, you made a bad choice there, are reaping the consequences now, and don't have the right to be upset with the school. If you have not given them persmission for this type of thing, I'd be talking to the board of directors/regents/whoever has final say over employee disciplinary actions and back up to paragraph 2. Of course, that's assuming you'll be pulling your daughter out of the school--if you involve lawyers without pulling her out, they may well kick her out, and if that's not an acceptable solution to you, then you'll need to be much more diplomatic, talk to the principal again, and hope he decides to enforce your wishes with the admin.

I eat scrambled eggs almost every morning for breakfast, because that's the quick and easy way to prep them to get all their nutritional goodness without adding a bunch of other stuff (though I do add spices and cheese ...) But your poll was about our *favorite* way ... so I voted for deviled eggs. YUM! I could eat those for every meal for a week without getting tired of them ... I just know that nutritionally, they're better without the mayo, but I don't care as much for plain hard boiled eggs because the yolk gets too crumbly/powedery for me.

I agree with this. I've seen plenty of inane and pointless, and I ignore those threads. I haven't seen rude and disrespectful, though maybe they're there and I just haven't seen them. Also, if we were to ban "negative" posts for a month ... where does that leave those who are having some serious problems of their own? Are they to suck it up and deal with it for a month, even if they need advice or comfort now? (And where would we draw the line anyway--can we still post homeschool-related troubles--that is the purpose of these boards, after all--but no threads about family problems?) While it's true that those who are mourning may hit the "pause" button on their lives, we don't show respect for them or for those they have lost by ignoring the reality that life really is going on for others. All we do is fail to show respect to those others who are hurting, too.