Also note that I referenced judging homosexuality as wrong, not judging homosexuals as wrong. You did exactly what I was talking about by leaping from a potential judgment of a lifestyle to a judgment of a person who engages in that lifestyle. That's exactly what I was talking about.

That's not what I said. I said that many homosexuals believe that their sexuality is who they are down in their core--the core part of their personalities--and I specifically refrained from agreeing or disagreeing with that assessment because I've known homosexuals for whom it was their defining identity and other homosexuals for whom it wasn't the defining part of themselves. I have no strong opinion on whether homosexuality should be the core feature or a peripheral feature of a person's personality, so I didn't support either option. I never mentioned choice/not a choice, because it doesn't matter with regard to what I said. In contrast, I do believe that when a person believes strongly in a religion, that religious belief of necessity becomes a core part of that person's personality. The very nature of religious belief, at least of Christian religious belief and of several other religions with whose adherents I've spoken, is that it changes you and becomes a core part of you, whether you perceive that you chose it or not. That's why I said that they "rightly" view religion as the core of who they are. I can remove those parenthetical expressions if you wish; it won't change the idea I was expressing. And again, whether the religion was chosen or whether the person was drawn to the religion against his or her will doesn't matter in this context. Choice is not the defining feature of my statement. Whether or not the issue at hand is perceived to be the core, the single most important thing about you--that's the key part of what I said. You got sidetracked onto a peripheral issue that I deliberately left out of it.

Garga, I agree with you and conduct my life and relationships in the way you describe. However, I don't perceive myself as judging other *people* or as being judged as a *person* by others. I perceive it as beliefs, behaviors, and attitudes that are being judged, separate from the worth or value of the person who is believing, behaving, or ... attitudining (yep, just made that up). I'm betting you probably think of it similarly, though you didn't express it. (And please, correct me if that assumption is wrong!) I think the problem comes in when people are unable to separate the belief, behavior, or attitude from their own self-worth or from the worth of the other individual. Many homosexuals, for instance, identify themselves to their core as homosexual, and so anyone who says that homosexuality is wrong is perceived as saying "who you are in the core of your being is morally wrong." They perceives *themselves* as being judged, not their lifestyle. In the same vein, many Christians (rightly, in my opinion) view Christianity as the absolute core of who they are and (wrongly, in my opinion) are therefore unable or unwilling to accept that equally valuable others can disagree with their religious beliefs without necessarily devaluing the Christian him- or herself, or who are unable or unwilling to accept that those who do not similarly identify themselves as "Christians to the core" are equally valuable, worthwhile, intelligent, or what have you. As rational human beings, we constantly are evaluating things, and that extends into making moral evaluations or judgments--which can take the form of condemning certain behaviors/attitudes/beliefs as morally wrong. My perception, at least, is it becomes problematic when one or both of the people involved start perceiving the judgment as being a judgment of the person, not a judgment of behavior, belief, or attitude. I have no problem with the latter. But when I do perceive that someone is judging *me* (not merely my beliefs, actions, or attitudes), that's when I have a problem with that person--and on the other hand, when I find myself having such a problem with a person's behaviors that I begin to discount that person as a person, that's when I have to seriously examine myself.

I personally would not want a bedroom to double as a schoolroom, but that's because I have difficulty sleeping, a problem that is worse if my bedroom is used for anything but sleep. I think it could work if the room could be partitioned off, maybe with a curtain or book cases to divide the two areas.

I hear good things about Call the Midwife, though I don't watch it. Pride & Prejudice (BBC version, miniseries)

I think that dress would work nicely, especially if you happen to have a navy cardigan/shrug like pictured. Subtly beachy, classy, and certainly no lemming. Congratulations on the weight loss!

:bigear:

How did that never occur to me? It's a DIY version of this: http://smile.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=lefty+spiral+notebook&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Alefty+spiral+notebook

It depends on the application, and the specifics of the product itself. For disposable list making (for example, grocery lists), I prefer notepads. They give me a nice cushion under the page I'm writing on, no wire to hurt my hand, and easy disposal of used pages with no mess. For lists I need to write and keep, I generally prefer spiral notebooks--but ONLY if they're nice and full, so the spiral doesn't stick up much--if it's roughly level with the paper, it doesn't hurt my hand, but if it's too big, or if it becomes too big because I've torn pages out, it hurts my hand. So I don't tear pages out of spiral notebooks anymore. And I like nicer ones, with thicker, plastic-coated wire, rather than the cheap, thin metal wire. I probably would prefer notepads, but for some reason I don't like spiral notepads, and nonspiral ones have perforations along the top that make the pages come out too easily, and for long term use, the pages that have been folded back stay pouffed up and wrinkled, which annoys me. My daily calendar is a spiral notebook, and to mark where I am, I tear off just the top corner of the page, but not the whole page, and I always wrap it all the way around before I try to write on it--I don't lay it out open/flat and write on it, at least not on the right side of it. It has a section for grocery lists, but I don't tear them out--I take my whole calendar with me to the supermarket, mark horizontal lines through items as I place them in my cart, then make vertical lines through the whole list when I'm done so I can see it's been done and move on to the next spot for my new list. (I would prefer small notepads for grocery lists, but I always seem to use those up ...) I like the idea of composition books, but I find that I have a hard time keeping them flat enough, and I don't like that I can't fold it back and keep it open to a certain page like I can with a spiral notebook. I use three ring binders for things that I print off. I leave it in the binder while using it if it's a checklist, but take pages out if I have to do extensive writing on them.

I don't know if they sell them year round or if you'll have to wait until fall, but check out Lands End. Their winter wear is rated by temperature and generally is high quality. I have a couple of their fleeces that I sometimes wear alone as shirts, sometimes as a layer over a shirt and under a coat, and sometimes as a light pullover "jacket" all on their own. Don't forget scarves--I have some pashmina shawls that are light, but warm, and can be worn in a variety of ways--over the head, around the shoulders, bunched around my neck, whatever the situation requires.

State Department warnings are no joke. I read the most recent one, and they seem to be hedging their bets, basically saying "It's dangerous and we think it's a bad idea for tourists to come here, but it's getting better and it's no longer so bad that we outright tell you that it would be stupid to come ... but it's still pretty stupid to come." That said, it sounds like her plan would keep her within the travel restrictions for State Department employees and their families, and those are usually strict enough to keep you pretty safe. My concern would be increased because you're talking about two young women traveling alone into an area that is dangerous enough to have travel restrictions at all. I would advise against it. Her reasons for going ... (1) yep, it's cheap partly because it's dangerous; (2) lots of places look beautiful, including safer ones; and (3) she's unlikely to meet the team at the beach, so not a good reason to go when going exposes her to danger. Go somewhere else. If it were my daughter, I wouldn't hesitate to tell her not to go. I would lead with trying to reason with her, trying to convince her to go elsewhere, etc etc. I would try to get her to decide not to go without blatantly and oppressively exercising my authority over her. However, if it came down to it, I would use my power over her to keep her safe. I would tell her that the only reason she has the money to pay for this trip is because I pay for so much else ... and if me paying for so much else is going to enable her to spend her money taking risks that I believe are unnecessary and unjustified, I would rather she not have so much of her own extra money lying around to spend doing these things. Therefore, if she chooses to spend her money in this way, she should expect me to stop paying for so much else. Extreme? Possibly. Natural consequence of spending her money in a way I believe is foolish? Yep. Side note ... other places that don't have Colombia's reputation are equally dangerous, if not more dangerous, because people assume they're safe. Before she goes anywhere--the Caribeean, Europe, *anywhere*--she needs to be made aware that the world is not a safe place and how to minimize her chances of something bad happening to her. It's more than the obvious stuff like not going home with strange men; she needs to learn about and practice operational security. For an intro, I enjoyed the book _The_Gift_of_Fear_ by Gavin de Becker.

I've seen that first link before, and it's very useful. That second one--wow, that's a gold mine! Thank you!

No mention of that, unfortunately. I'm unlikely to subscribe to a website, but I'd love to buy a materials kit!

If this is what he's teaching his daughter to expect, she's in for a world of hurt when she meets the real world. He means to express his love for her, but this extreme indulgence is not setting her up to be satisfied with the life she's likely to live. And as for asking others to call her "Princess" ... no way. We don't have royalty in the United States.

Yes, I saw that on the Yahoo group. I've already ordered the first edition, though if I hadn't, I would have waited until September when the new one will be available. But his web developer did say there would be a free 30-day trial for the online version, and he encouraged those who already have the first edition to join for those 30 days and print out the two additional lessons, as well as look around the site to see if we wanted to subscribe. I think that will be my plan for now: print the two new lessons and look around to see if I might want to subscribe later, but let the free trial lapse since it'll be a while before I start on it.

Thank you, everyone! I ordered BFSU and am eagerly awaiting its arrival--it should arrive in a month, give or take. I won't start using it for another year, but I intend to use some time this year to look through it and start planning for any supplemental materials I'll need to buy, so I can look for/at them next summer when I'm in the States.

Exploratopia looks amazing! Thanks for that idea.

I wouldn't bring it up, but when he asks for her to come back, I'd be honest with him. "She's not coming back because the arguing and fighting is not a good situation for her to be in. I know you'd never knowingly hurt her, and you don't believe that you are hurting her with this violence between you and Stepmother, but you are. When she's an adult, she'll be free to make her own decisions. Until then, her father and I have to protect her, and this is how we're doing it. No, this is not up for discussion. No, it will not be up for discussion ever again. Oh, you insist on discussing it? Bye, Dad, I love you." Click.

Following :bigear: I'm still debating whether to start using TOG at some point with my own daughter, so I'd love to hear about this too.

I follow them on Blogger and see all the new posts from my Dashboard.

It doesn't much matter who writes the letter; it's an easy enough request that your congressman will grant it if he can. The problem, though, is that the slots fill up. If you're looking to go anytime this summer, it may be too late. Contact your congressman as soon as you know the dates you'll be there, and be flexible about when you can do the tour.

I paid $8 for a chore list from Motivated Moms. It schedules tasks for the entire year, though of course I make some modifications to fit my house and life. I try to do those tasks plus the ones Flylady schedules in the zones. So for me, the MM list is the routine maintenance, and Flylady is the periodic deeper clean. It works well when I stick with it ... which isn't as often as it should be, even though I only have one little one ... Edited to fix funny word choices made by the auto correct on my phone :)

I'd wait. We started sort of trying to potty train my daughter shortly after she turned 2, but she just wasn't interested in sitting on the potty. So we left it out, and occasionally asked her if she wanted to sit on it, but she didn't. And then we had a stretch where we were traveling for 3 weeks, then just a few months after that moving--so we stopped asking at all, as we knew that would not be a good time. She decided on her own that she was interested shortly after she turned 3. She tried to change her mind, but we bribed her with the promise of Minnie Mouse underpants if she proved she could keep them clean and dry. That's what eventually did the trick ... Minnie Mouse underpants.

The only lesson I've seen is the first one, available as a sample. (I've ordered the book, but it hasn't arrived yet and won't for a while--I'm outside the US, and it may not even ship for 2-3 weeks, according to Amazon.) It seems like it would be doable to spread that first lesson over two weeks, but not necessarily interesting--it would be a matter of categorizing anything and everything for a couple of weeks, which may get a bit old. Are the later lessons more involved and/or more easily spread out?

This sounds good to me--I especially like the idea of dedicating time to review rather than just flying through that part and assuming she really does remember it. Where do you find the ideas for the demonstrations and activities, though? My copy of the book hasn't arrived yet, so I've only seen the one sample lesson, but it looks like there's only one per lesson in the curriculum. Do you find the others online, or is there a book or two that you've found useful for that?