Glad you at least got it out :) For me, that's a good start to getting past the annoying people and things in my life LOL.

WOW, what a difference a few feet of hair makes! She's one of those lucky gals that can wear her hair either way; I've always envied them :) And then because I was there, I scrolled down a bit. She seems like a fun girl, always ready with a pose LOL. I found the FHC pictures especially sweet.

I haven't read that other thread, other than the hover snippet from the main page. But nope, never. Pretty sure I wouldn't ever, but who knows. Where I'm from, we just go out and handle it ourselves. Where I live now that'd probably be frowned upon more, but ... eh, I'd still go address it myself. I guess I'm thinking: me, adult; them, unsupervised kids. I got this B) It helps that I was one of those once upon a time LOL.

I come from a large, closeknit family living in a tiny village on a little island. There were never any secrets, family or not LOL. I actually kind of like it. I think it works for us because being "in the know" isn't really a power play, if that makes sense. And it's kind of like how you can confess anything to a Catholic priest because "he's heard it all!" ... anything that's ever been done or had (or anyone for that matter!) has been done or had by someone else on the island sometime before. There's nothin' new under the sun out there. We have a few obnoxious, kooky folks but for the most part we're an easy-going people. We gossip because we care ;) or maybe that's just how we justify it LOL. But truly, for the most part we use our knowledge to rally and support our friends and family, not to divide ourselves or take sides. That's hard to do in a small town anyway, with generations of overlap between longstanding families. My family's way isn't perfect. It's particularly hard for those spouses of a different culture who married into our family, but they eventually come around (and in our own way, we're becoming less invasive when we know it's an issue for a marriage). But I much prefer the openness to secrecy; maybe that's just because it's all I know but man - the secrets have to be exhausting and such a wear and tear on one's mind, body, and soul! I can see how it'd feel like a burden to be in the know for these types of families :(

I have thick hair. There was a kid in my neighborhood who said my hair looked like his horse's tail, and then he petted me. Kinda weird. But the hair pins work great for me, especially in spurts of 3-5 hours (as opposed to all day). And especially if I've already braided my hair and am simply pulling it up.

Definitely eBay. Maybe Etsy. Are you near ANY Asian market or stores? Or maybe a military base? LOL I've seen a kiosk at the mall before, so maybe you'll find one at a local mall? Come to think of it I bought my daughter some clips their once. I wonder if I have the business card still .... I'll check and post back in the morning if I can find it (and their website).

I like the ribbon idea! It makes perfect sense, and now I feel dumb that I hadn't thought of it already LOL. I don't even have each boy's pins separate from the others' ... they're all kind of thrown into a few ziploc bags that are in my "to get around to one day" pile. I should work on that, I guess. I should probably start their baby books first, though. I know they'll put on my headstone: She had such good intentions ... Sigh!

:party: Congratulations! Here's to one more of many yet to come his way :thumbup1: way to go get 'em and win 'em!

Can you host a party in his honor? Make sure to take lots of pictures of him with his family at the party, then put together an album and/or CD for them. I come from this type of family, and especially since he's the eldest child ... this graduation is a major deal! Pictures of the celebration would be great for them to bring out, reflect, and even to share with family abroad. If it's cost-prohibitive to do his entire family, perhaps a small dinner party at a restaurant for your family, him, and his parents. It's not practical, but it's a (non-traditional) keepsake for sure. The framed certificate is also a good idea. Even if he didn't order invitations, you can mock up a nice one in Photoshop (or find someone who can) with the relevant information and/or graduation picture - not an invitation, but like an announcement. The two might frame together very nicely. Did he order a class ring and yearbook? If it's not too late to order a yearbook, maybe one of those - my son's school had extras for sale at the end of the formal sale, maybe check with the school. (Oh wait, is he homeschooled?) If not an official class ring, something like one could be nice. I think most jewelers sell them, maybe even WalMart does. Official graduation photos might be nice, too. You can contact the contracted photographer and see about ordering some for his family ... or find a photographer to do another small cap-and-gown shoot, then buy a few sheets for him to distribute to his family (near and far). If you change your mind about a money-substitute, consider a "money tree" using gift cards instead. Small plant or bush they can keep/plant, with dangling goodies - one gas card, one fast-food, one bookstore, one coffee shop, etc. He'll probably give them to his parents and siblings, but he'll feel proud that he can :) like by focusing on graduation he's able to help take care of his family :) BTDT!

You have our prayers ~ and besides those, a very proud congratulations on his graduation. He's done well, and something tells me your positive, supportive outlook has had a lot to do with that. To further blessings on your family!

Wild Strawberries is a favorite! I don't know about Netflix, but it's at my library.

Don't forget that many gas stations with mini-marts have microwaves to use. That may open up more options. You could pre-make biscuits and eggs or breakfast burritos. First wrap in wax paper, then in foil. When you're ready to eat, remove foil wrapper and warm in the microwave. Won't be the best biscuit or burrito, but it'll be warm and filling. You could even freeze before you leave, allowing for a slower thaw in the cooler. Another breakfast option might be single-serve oatmeal packets. All you'd need to do is stop by a gas station, McD, or donut place for a cup of hot water. We actually leave these in our car for just driving around town, when the kids get hungry for a snack LOL. Protein shakes are good, too - just bring powder, and buy small milks on the road. Pour into a plastic cup from home or one you saved from your fast food stop (rinsed, of course!) For lunches, use those same microwaves to pop popcorn (buy there or bring from home). A few bags will carry a light lunch farther and can be better than chips, some crackers. Corn chips and salsa - the latter might not require refrigeration until opened, and you'll have an excuse to finish it off. Cheese and trail mix. Nuts can get tricky - too many, especially if you're not used to them, can mean a lot of time at those gas station restrooms IYKWIM. Ewwww. Raw veggies with dip do fine if kept cool; will last at least two days. Wraps, too - chicken can be eaten cold and makes a good wrap w/cheese and lettuce. Another option for the first few lunches might be fried chicken. It keeps awhile, and tastes fine cold Pre-bake some healthier muffins, maybe from a Paleo site or something.

I come from a big family, tightknit community, and food is the thread that keeps us all close. Every woman I know in this family and community thinks her version of {dish} is the best LOL. So, we gladly share recipes knowing they'll all be personally tweaked any how. After much gossipy discussion ;) It's amazing how many different kinds of fruit salads, mashed potatoes, and adobo dishes exist. (And none as good as mine, go figure!) But if this isn't your culture, then I understand wanting to keep a good thing secret - especially in such close social circles. But not at the expense of a relationship, friend OR family. Maybe they'll tweak it to make it their own, as you did. Acquaintances or strangers? Sure, keep it secret. Without guilt. Who cares about them anyway LOL.

Ooh, that needs a cute, short denim jacket in any color - even white, maybe faded jean or khaki. Try a short-sleeved one, a denim vest, or long-sleeved with cuffs folded up. But the cardigan works, too :)

I hope his surgery went well. We'll keep praying for all of them; it's so hard to say goodbye :(

Lifeguarding brings in a decent income. Does she have sports knowledge? She can referree or umpire, either through city rec leagues or private clubs - adult OR child games. Sometimes there's an upfront cost, but many programs deduct a small portion from each paycheck. Are you near an airport? Wheelchair aide isn't glamorous but it's flexible with a high level of empowerment (no one looking over your shoulder). There are also other contract jobs at the airport. Valet parking (hotel, restaurant, airport). Again, not glamorous but can be lucrative once tips are factored in. Flexible hours. Bookstore. Front desk at a salon/spa/gym. Tutoring high school students.

We live with three elderly relatives who are in their 80s and 90s. So far, only one fall and it was due to a seizure. My kids know to call 911 straight away, and in your DD's case it'd be important to also know grandma's address. It'd be great if she could memorize it and better if she'd do that plus also make sure it was posted in 1-2 places around your mom's house. My kids also take First Aid training through the Red Cross. They offer a variety of youth programs, but even a basic Babysitter's Course might give your DD some basic information and confidence to handle grandma falling and getting hurt. Let them know she's learning it for an older person, so they can educate her on how to modify procedures for use on the elderly. I'm required by work to be certified, and I've always kept a laminated flow chart on my work badge. I took that idea home by laminating copies for my kids, too, shrinking it down to wallet size. Because we live with old people, I also have a chart posted by the main phone in the kitchen, and also in each bathroom. The few times I've had to use my training at work, I didn't need to reference my cheater sheet .. but knowing it was there proved a great comfort for whatever reason. I figure same holds for my kids! Perhaps you could post one for your daughter, too; a google search will bring up tons to choose from. Related to that, she should bring her own first aid kit. I'd buy two, one to use and practice with you at home and the second to use if necessary. Familiarity will be key. We keep a monster kit in the kitchen, with smaller kits in each bathroom. If she brings her own, she'll know right where it is if it's needed - no time wasted. She might leave it by the phone so she can grab it while calling 911 - her call. She might want to put together a kit that includes a towel, small bottle of water, first aid kit, ... anything else she can think of. Or all of this might give her anxiety LOL. In which case you ixnay the trip. OR you play it off as you being a worrywart and wanting her to be overprepared. Or you might prepare her as part of a school exercise, not letting her know that it's to prepare her to care for grandma -- first aid and babysitting skills are good to have in general, so is knowing one's way around a first aid kit. You can add the 911/address and personal first aid kid for later, if the trip ends up happening. It won't seem like such overkill if spread out like that!

This is a break-up. Break-ups go through stages, and it sounds like Autumn is working through the initial stages. There's not much you can do other than to be there for her, to help her process the range of feelings that are coming. Both of you are (admiringly) sympathetic to H's situation, which is great - you haven't written off her OR a reunited friendship. But be careful that you don't let that sympathy draw you back in prematurely, before H is comfortably down a path to her own healing (and able to reunite in a healthy friendship). I'm thinking: leave a door open to her, her dad, her mother but hold off on the girls jumping back in too quickly; it's likely too soon for H to realize the hurt she has caused, because she's understandably pre-occupied with her own hurt/confusion/situation. A relationship worth saving is worth easing back in to. The birthday party could be a good way to ease into it, with plenty of family support around, ... or it could not, because who wants to see your happy family while her's is crashing into chaos LOL. You know her well enough to know how she'd handle it, and I hope one day both girls realize what a wonderful, caring woman you are. Just throwing that out there if she opts out, or if she behaves inappropriately should she attend. You have to explain to Autumn that things won't go back to how they were even IF you ignore the iPad issues -- H was/is spiraling into a personal chaos, and the iPad thing was just one outward symptom of that. Pretending it didn't happen doesn't erase the core issues that H is struggling with, unfortunately :( the best your family can do for H is to let H know no bridges were burned, and that your family is here and ready when H needs her and/or is ready to resume a healthy relationship. The birthday invite was a great way to make that known to H, and even if she chooses to not attend - she's taking note that your family might be the stability she can rely on right now. (Even if she doesn't take you up on it, knowing it's there and will remain there can go far in reassuring her. And it may be that she needs to test if it will remain, given her background; she may need you to keep "proving" you haven't given up on her, "too" from her POV as the child of an addict.) I don't think I'd re-introduce the messaging/iPad stuff. I think I'd be okay with Autumn writing a note or card, and snail- or emailing it. Something less pressure, where H can respond (or not) and it's more of a "I miss you, H" than setting up a volley for a dialogue that could quickly go sour once again. And ruin any chance of getting these girls back together. People who are hurting like company, consciously or not. Good luck to you all, it sounds like a heartbreaking situation all around.

I second the recommendation that you check out the LHC forum :) My go-to is just a braid of some kind, usually put up in a bun of some kind with hair pins. Not to be confused with bobby pins, which are less flexible and secure on me. With hair pins I can also do a quick roll or braid and secure it with 4-5 hair pins; less for less hair. It doesn't even have to be pretty, but will still look fairly put-together once the pins are in LOL. Not the plastic ones, nor the cheap short ones at box stores. You want the sturdy metal ones that are at least as long as is your index finger. You see them a lot on Koreans, and from Korean markets/vendors.

Our easy meal is a deli plate -- and Trader Joe's is the perfect place to get the required stuff, if you don't have time for a real deli. We eat this several times a week during sports season; we get sick of it after a while, but so far nobody is sick of it enough to step up and make something else so ... we keep having it on our busy nights LOL. We change it up some, but it's always: sliced meat, starch, fruit, veggie, heese. We have two baseball games and an AHG meeting tomorrow so our deli plate is what's in the fridge: leftover turkey slices, sliced berries and grapes, few cubes of Manchego, few slices of raw cukes and bell pepper, and popcorn because I'm out of bread and crackers. Usually the starch would be a slice of sourdough, a handful of pretzels or crackers. The kids don't mind popcorn, though :) It really doesn't get much easier than that, especially if you get TJ's pre-cooked/-sliced meats, pre-cut fruit or veggies, pre-cubed cheese, and a loaf of bread or box of crackers. And if you want to spend less, it's not hard to cut your own veggies and fruit and cheese LOL. Good luck to your husband!

I have no help on the tickets, but wanted to say that I'm sorry your grandmother isn't well. I hope you're able to make it up to PA. My (limited) experience has been that airline offer a bereavement fare, but outside of that a last-minute fare isn't typically discounted much (if at all). Do you know anyone with air miles they can give/sell you? (Rules vary per airline, check www.flyertalk.com for each airline's rules and regulations.) Side note: I know many WTM'rs are anti-credit card, but with discipline they are the perfect tool for situations like this - accruing air miles or hotel miles or car miles. That's no help now, but maybe looking forward. Charge the bills you'd pay anyway, and make one lump payment to your mile-accruing credit card. When a need arises, you have miles to use towards or in lieu of a last-minute fare.

We live in a family compound of sorts, and it's my brother who takes care of the monthly bills. He pays the bills, then emails a detailed invoice (for anyone who cares; I don't even look at it) outlining everyone's share for the month. It's usually the same each month, within $50-100 or so. So far nobody's ever stiffed him, so it works for us LOL. Many of our bills are joined anyhow - insurance is on a fleet of cars, cell phones are on a family plan, electricity/gas/water are pretty much shared, we have a family gas card, etc. Between us we also contribute to our youngest sister's college tuition and to the care of an elderly aunt who lives with our cousin. I remember my dad paying bills. Mom wasn't comfortable enough with her command of English to do that once they moved to the States. Gradually Dad passed on the responsibility to his eldest son, and it's that brother who's still doing it today. When his wife was alive, she helped him; she was great with finances and was the one who transitioned us from paper to e-billing/e-paying. So we pay just about everything online now - no checks, no stamps. Only my parents still have a checkbook. Whenever I need a check (for Scouts, usually) I give them cash and they write the check for me. And on the rare occasion I need a stamp, they're the only ones who ever have those, too! I joke that this is how they earn their keep around here ;) LOL.

I think you can love people and share their joys, but still be in awe of or confused by their choices. Pretty sure that's how the whole parenting thing works. Or at least it has in my family, spoken as both someone's child and as someone's parent! No reason those same human reactions can't extend beyond immediate family. Ruby Sue's not running to the bride or family to complain; she's "processing" it (LOL) on-line rather anonymously, and has said that this wouldn't stop her from attending the wedding (and even bringing a dish, as requested). Good gracious. I find it difficult to believe (and sad, if true) that some people avoid family rather than accept that those people can love you, however imperfectly. This isn't a case of an overly critical mother or overbearing father - it's a cousin who agrees with the MoG that it's a tacky thing to do. They're commiserating together, rather than criticizing the couple to their face. Seems the more loving option to me, given that people will and do have differences of opinions on these things. They're not out there trying to convince the bride to change anything, they're simply sharing amongst themselves that they'd have done differently. Hardly high drama or indicative of Ruby Sue's assumed inability to still share in the joy of the occasion. It's not one-dimensional, nor is she, I suspect. Seriously. You'd think there were a bunch of saints posting here. Or Stepford Cousins, incapable of normal human feelings LOL.

My brother is a paid coach for a club team. It's not terribly lucrative (!) but it's income and fits his passion. It'd be a great P/T or supplemental gig. Or in that vein, what about teaching in spurts? City rec departments are always looking for people to teach short-term courses - you can do a sports course, or a tutoring course (writing, math, whatever you like) and it can be aimed at adults OR children OR seniors. Pretty flexible. If it fits your personality, consider becoming a fitness/life/health/nutrition type coach or mentor. Garner an internet presence, let it feed a local presence. Build up a reputation and name over time, and work it to your schedule. Start with small health food stores, or a blog, or both. Personal trainer and/or instructor at a gym. Test prep or tutoring-type seminars (as opposed to full-on tutoring). Find a niche, work it. Can also be done online.

Stuck for ideas. My sister is quitting her job next month. She works with "Auntie Lil," who has been a friend of our parents' forever. Auntie changed our diapers, crashed our dates if she saw us around town, and gave us great advice (and small sums of cash) when we c-/wouldn't go to our parents. 10 years ago my sister transferred into Auntie's station. Aunte Lil has a lucrative side business in which she sells a service to her coworkers. Her service takes advantage of a loophole in the labor contract, allowing overtime pay for regularly-clocked hours. People are happy to pay Auntie a small stipend; she manipulates their schedules to benefit from the loophole. For the past ten years, Auntie has initiated and provided this service to Sis free of charge. When Sis tries to pay her, Auntie refuses to profit off of "family." Sis estimates she's been gifted around $6,000 worth of services in total. What's an appropriate but humble-enough-that-she'll-accept-it gift in this situation? I'm stuck at plants/flowers, which I know Auntie would like but that's our go-to for regular stuff and this is something bigger. I thought about a certificate to the really nice restaurant in her town, but Auntie would likely refuse on the grounds that we "spent too much" on her to eat there. What's something nice that doesn't read as expensive as it might be? Or a non-herbaceous token gift? Thanks for any help. If I were Auntie, I'd feel the same way in this situation. But Sis and I can't shake that this generosity needs to be acknowledged especially now that Sis is leaving the company.