OP, whether I said something would depend on the vibe I got from her during checkout. Some people seem approachable, others .... not so much. If I did, I'd say just what I saw: "Your dress is lovely! I didn't know if you realized but it's completely sheer in the sunlight. I don't know if that's on purpose, but just in case it wasn't .. I wanted you to know. I'd want to know if it were me!" And I wouldn't be up in her face as I said it. I'd say it in quick passing. Someone once told me my dress was a bit sheer, and I appreciated it. I didn't realize how sheer it was in daylight. But then again, I'm not one to be offended or to assume the worst about someone's intentions. I either agree and say thanks for the heads up, or I disagree privately and just tell them thanks for bringing it to my attention. I'd rather someone err on the side of looking out for me, than to let me walk around not realizing. I don't have to read anything further into it, be that a judgement, nosiness, or the fashion police. I come from a culture where people look out for each other in that way. And even if we disagree, we generally appreciate that someone is looking out. I can see how someone might view this as a wardrobe malfunction. Yes, I own a mirror, but sometimes what looks okay at home indoors will look differently in broad daylight. I've seen it with celebrities, too, who have paid professionals dressing them LOL. It happens.

I do something awkward and embarassing every day. Today's was walking down the aisle of an airplane trailing a piece of toilet paper. The gross thing is that it wasn't mine because I only went in to brush my teeth. Then I ignored the guy who tried to help me by pointing it out, because he had annoyed me in the boarding lounge. I thought he was going to be all annoying again, so I pretended not to hear him. He was gracious enough to smile, but not the way I would've in a karma-is-a-beyotch-ain't-she way when we finally made eye contact as I sat down and noticed the TP myself. I tried to buy him a drink, but he declined and smiled again. I'm such a donkey!

My first thought at reading the OP was that the student might be part of an interdisciplinary program. My first undergrad was a double major with a minor. My second undergrad was a major and a double minor. In both cases, my university charged tuition up to 12 credits, but one could register for 18 credits. That gave me 6 "free" credits each semester, and I took advantage of those! That's the only reason I ended up with three minors. They were related to my majors, but not terribly important or necessary. I'm just incredibly cheap and appreciate a great value! B) I didn't hear about the interdisciplinary program until a few years ago when I went back for my PhD. I love the idea of it and wish it had been around when I was a traditional student. That'd have been an even better value LOL. My university didn't require anything. Neither majors or minors were regulated. I don't think it's a bad idea for a school to have rules on these things - in fact, I like it.

I voted neither/yuck. But then I realized that malasadas are technically a doughnut, and I could live on those pretty much forever. Oops. But regular American type doughnuts or ice cream? Given a choice, I abstain. But I'll eat either, if served.

We have one neighborhood kid who loves to come over. He's the second of four (the rest girls), and all are close in age (4-12 y/o). He comes over to play with my same-aged sons, but is always lingering around my older boys. I think he has Big Brother envy!

Didn't read the article, and don't plan to. But to answer the question to the title of this thread, ... sort of. A good marriage sort of boils down to having enough sax. Whatever that means for each couple, and then again to each person of said couple. Sort of, because I think it's not a matter of how much but a matter of what are the attitudes towards. And attitudes towards sax goes far in determining the quantity of. Examples have already been mentioned: sax as currency, lack of sax due to illness/health, etc. These things are among those that color our attitudes towards sax. They gauge the health of our relationships.

The Catholic Church is full of 'em! Enjoy your studies - I think it's great that you want to dive into philosophy B)

Our first home was gifted to us, so we put 0% down. :thumbup: Instead we put 25% down on an investment property, taking advantage of our situation at the time (dual-income, pre-kids, no house pymt.) It paid off, in spades. I recently took a temporary work assignment in another state. It's long enough (and in a good enough market) that I decided to buy instead of rent. I used a VA loan, paid the lending fee upfront, and put 0% down. Then I began looking for a local investment property. I'm actively looking for the right one, and will have 20% to put down.

White. I see a lot of blacks, so white would be my go-to. It's the same reason I choose green luggage - easier to differentiate. Plus I like to feel elitest. Kidding LOL

Another option might be off-season camps, or city classes (as opposed to city leagues) through the rec center -- those are ways to explore sports without the intensity some leagues have. Is he connecting with some of the other kids, or you with some of the other parents? My boys love the batting cages. It doesn't feel like practice to them, especially without coach there. Coach is my brother LOL. It's just $5 and 20 minutes at the cages followed by a shake or frozen yogurt at the park around the corner. The cages help bridge the gap between teammate and friend, which is why I suggest it. The boys meet up due to their common interest, then segue to an off-field interest like the park of ice cream shoppe. I wonder if that'd be something your son might be interested in. It gives him more access to his fun part of baseball (friends) and also an opportunity to work on improving a skill. One of my sons has a friend who is not a natural athlete. He liked baseball well enough, but not enough to practice on his own. His dad would always offer to throw, but the son had no desire. He didn't fight it, but he didn't really see the point. And yet, he'd be fine tossing the ball around with my sons whenever he was at our house. We have improptu games in the backyard, and he LOVES those. It doesn't feel like practice when it's also part of hanging out with friends. If he's growing closer to any teammates, nurturing that relationship may help further his desire to practice ball off of the field - not in an intense way, but a keeping-skills-fresh kind of way.

What a sweet thought. I know it's a bit trendy to write these days off as Hallmark Holidays, but for me that's not purely evil. In fact, the opposite really. It's a day that I know I'm not alone in missing someone who was special to me. It might be sad that it takes Hallmark to make that happen, but I'm grateful anybody does (make it happen). I won't forget my special person, but life gets busy and others naturally will; these are the days that I feel I'm not the only one still missing and loving someone who has passed. I appreciate your thoughts, and hope your sadness is peppered with some special, happy memories. And I'd like to extend this to those who have lost the fathers to their children ... :Angel_anim:.

I wasn't referencing your suggestion, which is why it wasn't part of what I quoted and replied to. I'd explain my reasons, ... but, well ... color me convinced :D LOL. But I agree you gave clear examples of how delivery matters.

You've handled the replies graciously. I wonder if you can edit it to set up a poll? I can't speak for the others, but I'd have voted instead of commenting had that been an option. LOL

My experience reflects that the delivery of a reason matters significantly when determining how well it has (or hasn't) been accepted.

What a great city to spend time in. My daughter's best friend is Italian, and they've lived Stateside for the past six years. They're moving back to Italy (Florence) at the end of the summer, for good. What an awesome experience to live abroad. I hope the 4th time is a charm for you guys!

Hope everything falls into place for you! Whereabouts in Italy?

Keep a squirt bottle of vinegar in the shower. Spray down when you get out. Takes two seconds, even the kids can manage it, and there you go. We steam-clean the grout as needed, which isn't often.

I also love Laurie4B's post. I'm someone who eats all organic, avoids plastics/metals, etc. We grew our own food for most of my life. We were organic before it was called that and when it was only poor people who ate that way LOL. So I do get where you're coming from in wanting the best nutritional environment. I like how Laurie worded it - emotional pesticides. So true.

I'd be frustrated, but I'd still think I was being a jerk. I think intentions count for something. I know it's hard being a born-planner living with a born-helper. Mostly I know this from the born-helper's POV ;) It sounds like you really are trying to appreciate where she's coming from, and that it's the realities of her actions that are the true issue. I think some of your frustration is justified (running low on supplies) and some are things you just need to shrug off a bit more easily (new starter). I get a sense that you realize that, which is why you posted. Reasons I'd feel like I was being a jerk ... because people matter more than things. This isn't an invitation for her to go hog-wild helping, because it IS causing you stress. Rather it's an invitation for you to think about what will matter more in ten years - the one day breakfast went awry or the pride she felt in helping. There's a middle ground where you two need to meet - you have to figure out how to harness her help. It sounds like she'd be open to it. Whether it's taking the advice upthread about assigning her meals to prepare or giving her another outlet ... work with her. It's who she is, just as much as you are a planner. When you over-react to these things, you are taking blows at her person. That's a bigger worry IMO than her deciding one day to no longer "help." Google the short story: The Wooden Bowl. How is your frustration today affecting your relationship tomorrow? Both of you are who you are. Try to remember her intentions, and work together to find a way she can continue "being her" without making it hard for you to "be you" - prioritize the relationship, not the meal and not the plan.

I'd probably self-deprecate: "You know how we all have A Thing? This is my thing; I'm weird about playdates. I'm not yet comfortable with my kids having playdates without me or DH there. It's nothing personal, it's just My Thing. I know this will cramp things a bit, but I know how much the girls love playing together so hopefully we can ride it out for now." You have your reasons, and though you don't HAVE to go into them ... sometimes the path is smoothed by at least hinting at them. Some people will take it personally no matter, but most reasonable people will understand that we ALL have A Thing and this is yours. Since it's not the norm they may find it a bit weird, so why not address that head on and spare the awkward potential inferences :) My daughter has a friend whose parents are more strict about unsupervised playdates. The girls are 7. Unfortunately it limits how often the girls can play because I can't always host another adult. The rest of my kids are all boys, 11 up to 20s. But per GailV's suggestion upthread, I do appreciate that the mom let me know upfront that it was her - not us. Otherwise I'd have assumed they didn't care for us, and the excuses were subtle clues to bugger-off. And then I'd have started to distract my own daughter from developing that relationship. And in your case that would also affect lessons. Definitely don't want to do that!

From General Douglas MacArthur's acceptance speech of the Thayer Award: Lou Gehrig's Farewell to Baseball speech is nice short one. FDR's address to the nation following Pearl Harbor Spiro Agnew's Television News Coverage is interesting from a historical perspective. It's long. For short ones, have you considered movie speeches? Famous in the pop culture sense :) some historical-like, too. Some movies I can think of off-hand, but not sure of ratings: A Few Good Men ("Son we live in a world that has walls .... You can't handle the truth!") - Good Will Hunting (debate at the bar) Braveheart (Wallace's FREEDOM speech) A Man for All Seasons (Sir Thomas More's Devil speech) To Kill A Mockingbird (Gregory Peck's court scene) Patton (General Patton's speech LOL) Dead Poets Society (Carpe Diem) Any Given Sunday (Al Pacino's pep talk) Pulp Fiction (Samuel Jackson's Ezekiel) Lord of the Rings/Return of the King (Viggio at the black gate) Field of Dreams (James Earl Jones)

Agreeing that it's the spacing! Three of my middle boys came over a period of 25 months. That was challenging for a brief minute (nursing and sleeping) but they've mostly felt like "one" because they're a little pack. They have great relationships, plus similar interests and abilities. They're easy, even though they're three; I think it's because they're so close in age and their personalities gel. It didn't feel like I added three, it felt like I added 1 or 1.5 LOL. Then I have a gaggle of older boys, who were born over a larger span of time. They average 14-20 months apart in age, which was neither short enough nor long enough to be particularly easy. They really do feel like the number of kids they are! I feel like I was more stressed with that group because every kid was at a different place. I'm glad I had them first because after them, it all got easier even though we were adding kids! And then my little caboose :) she's the youngest of a lot of boys, and her arrival hasn't felt like we really added any one. There are four years between her and my youngest boy. She has hardly made a dent in my stress-level in terms of existing LOL.

Now wait a minute - cookies??! Sometimes rudeness is warranted. Fresh cookies pretty much always. Oh, any medical emergencies LOL.

When I was hiring for my uncle's restaurant, we were looking for a local address on the application. We always got permanent address information for those who were actually hired, once they filled out their tax paperwork. Our target pool was the high school and college crowd.

I love four year old logic!