Thanks both of you.

Yes, depending on the school. Another activity that teaches self-awareness and self-control is horseback riding lessons. At first you get assigned a very gentle horse who just does what they've done for hundreds of lessons; but later when you have the fundamentals down you get on a horse that will demand you have the proper demeaner (calm, in control) or it will ignore you completely. The battle of wills teaches you a natural calm leadership that I think is difficult to learn anywhere but with martial arts or with horses.

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Once you've checked that her hearing is normal, tell her that you will no longer listen to anything that's not an indoor voice when you're indoors. Then when she's loud first respond with, "What was that?" or "Excuse me?" with one eyebrow raised. The first few times you might need to add a "I can't hear you unless you speak at the proper volume." She must repeat in the correct volume for you to respond. Eventually just a raised eyebrow will work. FWIW, this is also how my family teaches "Ma'am," "Sir," "Please," and "Thank you." It should work in less than two weeks.

A book about adoption or a poster/print/vinyl wall letters with the poem Legacy of an Adopted Child, perhaps adapted for 2 children.

LOTS of caffeine. Coffee is probably the cheapest & healthiest option there.

I probably would approach this differently because my dad was the chief of police in my town when I was a kid and because I was a mandatory reporter for years, so I'm really not afraid of the system... Here's what I would do... I would have her take the baby as much as possible, agreement or not, and document every single time he violated the agreement. If he gets out of parenting enough, he might decide he's no longer interested. I was walk into the CPS office and ask to speak with someone. You're concerned about neglect and potentially abuse and you want some guidance on where *exactly* the line is in your state. As long as you approach it with the "Can you tell me where the line is," approach, and as long as you luck into someone who's not in a terrible mood, chances are they will be very helpful figuring out exactly what your daughter's rights are, and exactly when she has the right to refuse handing the child over. If his parenting is bad enough (according to the guidelines in your state), they may even help her to fight him for full custody. For example, I'm pretty certain in most states it is fine to refuse to hand a child over if there's not a proper car seat. Most hospitals won't even let a baby go home with parents if there's not a car seat in place. Also, I would talk to *EVERYONE* I knew with any sort of legal connection and try and find a better attorney. A great attorney will help you suss out the difference between annoyances and things that will help your daughter to get custody.

Many of the chemicals in our modern environment act as estrogens, it would be easy to assume they also encourage twins. Things I've heard have estrogenic activity- any dietary fat, any food from animal sources, soy, lavender, BPA, pesticides, herbicides, yams, carrots, and anything that encourages high blood sugar...

My sister went through major depression as a teen. Three pieces of advice: If she's been on any sort of hormonal medication, take her off of it. Both my sister and I were put on the pill at a young age to regulate constant and extremely painful periods that were causing anemia. It was fine for me, but for my sister it triggered her depression. To this day she gets depression if she goes on any sort of hormonal treatment. The only time in my life I've been depressed was in the weeks after my father died. My sister pointed out I'd changed the brand of the pill I'd been on the week before he passed and asked me to go off of it. I did, and within 3 days I was okay again. I was still grieving, but I was again in control of my emotions and able to get out of bed and function normally. I would make sure she gets in to see a cognitive therapist. The reason I say that is that many kinds of therapy are not about getting better, they're about sitting around and endlessly discussing your problems. Cognitive therapy is about identifying where your thinking is wrong and changing the way you think. My sister said she got more help out of the first month of cognitive therapy than she did out of years of other therapy, where it almost seemed like the therapist was creating problems. Encourage her to pursue a passion. Anything to make her get outside of her head and focus on anything else. Maybe it's a charity, maybe it's training for a race, maybe it's an artistic goal.

Oxyclean (generic), Bleach potholders, theater candy for movie night, giftwrap, books, random craft items, collapsable dog bowls for the car (ours mysteriously always go missing), little candles to burn in the bathroom, sunglasses (I'm religious about wearing them because squinting causes wrinkles. Usually the styles there are awful, but every once in a while I'll find some I love. I buy every pair in the store in that style), random seasonal stuff (Christmas ornaments or little ceramic villages), stocking stuffers for kids (or for birthday party gift bags) Right now they have a big display of pantry-organizer type stuff. DH and I were just talking about buying up a lot of it. In the spring they frequently have LL Bean style boat-tote bags for a buck in a variety of colors. I snap them up and use them as gift bags, to carry groceries, and other random stuff (library books, etc). The pregnancy tests are reportedly more sensitive than any besides First Response early result, but out of the maybe 10 times I've used them, 4 of them had a problem (the test flooded, the dye blurred all over, etc), so I think I'd rather spend the $10 on the good kind. But if I was one of those people who wanted to test every day starting at about 8 DPO, I'd snap them up too. I've found several gift bags there with wonderful art on them (snowmen) that I cut out and framed.

I LOVE the dawn-hot vinegar combo, but you don't need a scrubber. Just put it in a spray bottle, spray to saturate the walls & tub, and walk away for at least 20 minutes. Then wipe in out with an old bath towel (no water!!!). So simple, works much better and easier than scrubbing, and leaves a fine film of detergent that keeps it clean for almost a week. We do have one shower with natural stone tile that this wouldn't work on though - the acid would damage the surface of the tile over time.

The thing is, brain function isn't something that's affected by the spine. When other body parts may be having nerve issues I could possibly see an impact, depending on the nature of the issue. But the whole point of chiropractic is that better alignment causes better body-brain communication triggering the body to heal itself. The alignment of the spine has nothing to do with brain function. The best a chiropractor can do for your head is to crack your neck - which may be worth it if you're in a lot of neck pain, but if not, it's dangerous. It tends to bruise the blood vessels of the neck internally and there is a increased risk of stroke for several days afterward! Diet might, but you don't need a chiropractor to change your diet. A sleep study might help a lot, depending on the nature to the problem, because typically the brain repairs itself during REM sleep. Herbs, vitamins, amino acids, or a paleo diet might help a lot, depending on the nature of the problem. Please ask her for references from anyone she's treated with your specific problem before you give her any money at all. Preferably more than 10 people, so it's harder to fake. There are a lot of chiropractors who go out of business because there isn't much money in it. Ones who don't may be recommending long courses of expensive treatments before you can see any improvement, which of course you won't. Please try something, anything else. I am absolutely convinced a sugar pill would be more effective for any brain issues.

I love Clean House, Clean Planet by Karen Logan. It is about mixing your own oils and homemade cleaning supplies. I use a little more bleach than her (for toilets, plus a 10% solution for the kitchen after raw chicken), she prefers borax for toilets and alternating peroxide and vinegar for the kitchen. In the winter I add vodka to her window cleaner to prevent streaking, but in general I LOVE all her advice. Lavender and peppermint and grapefruit oil scented cleaning supplies make me happy. I'm not sure if she mentions this or not, but tea tree oil is toxic to cats, and lavender oil is such a strong estrogen that natural lavender shampoo has made infant boys develop breasts, so beware those caveats.

I don't remember this, but apparently I had a boyfriend when I was 2. He was 3, and we were in the same nursery school group at church. His parents were family friends and we would carpool together to various activities when we were little. He used to walk me to the door and kiss me goodby on the cheek when I was 2! I don't remember any of that, but I did have special chemistry with that boy as we grew up (we ended up at different schools and marrying different people, but based on flirting as teenagers I'd say those little crushes were innocent but real). My first crush that I can remember was when I was 5.

After wasting thousands of dollars on a chiropractor who swore he could *cure* neurological disorders I've come to the conclusion that while chiropractors are amazing at fixing most musculoskeletal pain (even sprained ankles), they cannot and should not be relied upon for ANYTHING else.

Hmmm... I think my answer to this would vary greatly depending on context. I would come from the perspective first that Jesus caught a lot of flack for spending a lot of time with sinners. I, personally, am not so mature that I'm able to spend all my time around sin yet not sin myself, but that's what I'm working toward. Allowing sin around my children, however, sounds like terrible parenting. So if there was any chance they would try to proselytize the children away from the Lord I would ban it too. Adult daughter doesn't claim to be Christian *now,* but do you know if she genuinely had her own relationship with God as a child? Has she ever known the Lord at all? And no, I don't mean learn about the Lord from her parent's or pastor's perspective, but has she known Him herself, personally? Also, my answer might vary a lot depending on the child's verbalized attitudes. Is this relationship a matter of long-lasting rebellion? Did she say she just fell in love with *this* person, or has she said she has always felt this is who she *is* and that she will never change? Is this just the first time she's felt unconditionally loved (regardless of whether you unconditionally love her, is this relationship/lifestyle the first place she's FELT loved due to acceptance or love language or whatever). In other words, if I was convinced she knew the Lord and was willfully rebellious against Him and Us, I would probably have a bit less compassion than if this was a child who had heard about the Lord but who had never known Him personally, and who had always struggled with these feelings (felt she had been born this way) and only recently voiced them. In the latter scenario, I'd do whatever I could to make sure she would come to know the Lord, including inviting girlfriend over (separate bedrooms). As an aside, I do think that some people are *born* with this particular struggle, and others choose it. Since high school I've wondered if Paul was gay every time I read through the new testament. If she had known the Lord but claims not to be Christian because of her lifestyle, I would seriously consider encouraging her to go to one of the churches that is more accepting of her lifestyle, in hopes that by drawing closer to the Lord the Holy Spirit would do whatever changing and convicting is necessary. But even in that case, I wouldn't go around husband's will to invite the girlfriend. I probably WOULD gently point out any hipocracy in HIS life and the Lord's prayer about forgiving trespasses.

Generally you need a "heavy" flour (rice or bean flour), a "light" flour (or starch - I usually use corn), and some xanthan gum (to create the stickiness that keeps the bubbles in the rising dough), and a little bit more liquid than normal to replace traditional bread dough or the texture gets off. Feel free to experiment though. Sometimes odd textures are more fun. Milled brown rice, some corn starch, xanthan gum, a tiny bit of vinegar in the water, and some caraway seed made a nice replacement for rye once in one of my experiments. I was worried the acid would prevent the yeast from rising very much, but it did, and was really good. I've used blended gluten free oats to make the only flour in cookie recipes with good results (though I lowered the temperature by 100 degrees and baked them for 20 minutes to purposely alter the texture to crunchy on the outside and chewy on the inside).

:bigear:

You might like a book called How to Talk to Your Child About Sex by Linda and Richard Eyre. I really like their approach - they outline everything with their kids starting at age 8. Younger kids who ask about babies or where they come from are told that it's part of the most beautiful and wonderful things in the world and that they'll learn all about it when they turn 8. Then they approach questions very openly, from a "this is amazing and powerful and it can create babies and increase love so it should be saved" sort of perspective. They also say it's not possible to stop yourself from thinking about it, but what a child should do is when it comes to mind think about how amazing it will be someday to share it with your wife, with someone you love. You might choose different books than they recommend (they believe in being open about the very thing you're most concerned about it, but approach it from a people experiment but it's a bad idea to do on a regular basis because of a couple specific reasons).

I don't know about the flip camera specifically, but the way tripods work for a regular camera is they have a plate that screws into some threads on the bottom of the camera. The plate then connects to the tripod. I would see if the description allows that sort of thing. Last year for a gift we gave my sister a new camcorder- we found some on Amazon that cost less than the flip and had better reviews. You might look into other models before settling on the Flip.

Congratulations! (I'm totally jealous!)

Can you guys take your off-topic debate about whether it's a girl's responsibility to not tempt men or a man's responsibility to be in control of himself to a new thread? I keep refreshing this thread hoping the OP will answer my question about what would be *too much* for her son at his age...

Please explain what you mean by "More than he would be ready for"???

I wouldn't put up with this. No way, no how. First, for safety issues. How much I would confront it vs finding another church I suppose would depend on the size of the church and how involved we were as a family. Also, WHY is someone who is BAD at parenting working as a pastor? The bible is very clear on that. If he can't handle his own family he certainly can't be trusted with others. If I had a problem getting through to the pastor(s), I can't imagine DH not getting involved for me. Sometimes men just don't listen unless it's to other men.

I only read the first 6 pages, but... I guess I would be more concerned with their anger at the children for refusing than I would be for the attempted religious indoctrination. I would make DH deal with it, because they're his parents. I would make sure they knew my past and history of religious manipulation. And they would no longer be alone with the children unless I was convinced the children had the strength of will to stand up for themselves and make whatever decision THEY want to make, not to let other people manipulate them. And, as a Christian, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what happened to you, and I'm sorry for what's happened in your family. I'm sure your inlaws meant well, they love your kids, but this was the wrong way to go about it. And that they thought it would be okay.... I suspect they're in a manipulative and abusive church. I can't imagine that any responsible person in ministry would recommend this. I can imagine them recommending to pray for you, and for you children, and possibly going out of their way in some way to prove to you that Christianity is not supposed to be about manipulation or evil control. Obviously that's not what happened. I'm sorry.