From a medical perspective, it's one of several completely normal variations for a hymen to have only one or two very small holes. There have even been cases of girls who had none, which required medical intervention. ETA: I used to work in nursing on a gynecology med/surg floor.

Beware of roaches in state park cabins. Try a tent instead. Heck, you could get a 2-room tent, put the kids in one room and you in the other. Just be very, very quiet. Around here there are county parks with campgrounds for $8-12/night!

What would be "too much" information? I'm tempted to think you've created a highly restricted environment, he's going through puberty early, and he's got a bunch of physical urges he has NO IDEA how to control or what is going on. Lack of information is not going to help that.

I can't imagine how a diva or soft cup would help; it's bigger! I doubt she could even get it in. I would give her the option of going to a doctor or midwife OR to wait out that week. If I were her I would wait, but I was particularly modest as a girl.

I wouldn't leap to the conclusion that there has been abuse involved, though it is possible. I think it's probable that he stumbled upon *pron* or overheard some other kids talking about teA (I remember kids talking about it, and showing their Dad's stashes of magazines when I was 8. I can't imagine things have gotten better since kids got access to internet phones). He has probably also been exposed to advertising that makes it seem like on of the most important and powerful things in the world. He's not going to get less curious by refusing to have the talk. My parents had the talk with me when I was 9, complete with "I hope you wait, but if you choose not to you MUST be responsible so here's how you use multiple forms of birth control." It took the mystery and rebellion aspects away from it, and made it my choice, and I could see that the best thing to do was wait so I did. Give him a couple books that you approve of on the topic, and while you're at it talk about safety, boundaries, and what is *NEVER* appropriate: IE: ILLEGAL behavior (peeping and leering and ages of consent included); and what your family's values are. Also discuss safety and abuse. See what happens. Chances are it's pure curiosity, but if you approach the conversation with your eyes wide open, you'll probably be able to discern if some abuse has happened, whether it's a comment from him or something else that feels off. btw: I would NOT skip the talk, I've known too many pastor's kids who end up pregnant in their EARLY teens because their parents thought refusing to give them any information would keep them from being curious. What happened instead is that they got ALL their information from other kids, and almost all of it was wrong, and ALL of it flat-out contradicted their family's values.

It's typical behavior for that age group. I'd let her come home. She doesn't fit in with those girls for many reasons- younger, smarter or more focused, etc. What's more, you don't want her to fit in with THOSE girls. That's not who you are raising her to be. Bring her home. Then put her into something that involves learning to control her emotions in the face of stress AND that increases confidence; horseback riding and martial arts are both good options.

I LOVE Pamela's Gluten Free Bread mix (though beware- based on the *ahem* windy effects the next day, it must be primarily bean flour. Also, it tastes so good otherwise perfectly behaved dogs will get up on your counter to steal it as it cools. If you're not as afraid of arsenic in rice as I am, Tinkyada pasta, while not exactly the same, is yummy and has a nice texture. Lately I've been experimenting with recipes from this site: http://glutenfreeonashoestring.com/ I think next I might try their gluten free fruit loops recipe!

Hi. I'm so sorry for everything you're going through. You might want to contact a medical malpractice attorney and consider filing a lawsuit. I used to be more blase about this sort of thing, but if he didn't even give you the option of doing more tests when you were certain there was something wrong, he is guilty of malpractice. And you are going to have plenty of medical bills and expenses. And unfortunately doctors take lawsuits more seriously than scathing letters, if for no other reason than that if they don't, their insurance will get yanked.

Here's a website and one of the salad recipes we used to self-cater a recent family wedding. http://www.party-recipes-and-ideas.com/tomato-salad-recipe.html We also used several appetizer and side dish recipes from this site. We also got smoked beef from a local barbecue place for a really low price instead of a main dish, and used an idea from Pinterest (raspberries stuffed with white and black chocolate chips), another punch from Pinterest - http://wouldbewritersguild.com/blog/2008/07/15/why-i-keep-getting-invited-to-parties/, a family cheesy cornbread recipe (it fit with the gluten-free rustic elegant theme), and a gluten free cake.

If you know for sure you're having a health issue, and you in no way feel pregnant (and you did with the others), I might wait. Illness can delay ovulation, especially if you have a family history of early menopause. Has the kidney stone been confirmed by ultrasound, or are you just having pain and a history? If it hasn't been medically confirmed and you're having pain, I would suspect ectopic pregnancy and go to the doctor just to be sure.

possibilities- shingles; a b-vitamin or magnesium deficiency; a pinched nerve

I have a true allergy, not celiac, but I wouldn't chance it. I eat gluten free most of the time (because even though other sources of gluten don't cause an allergic reaction to me; if they aren't gluten free there's a high likelihood of being contaminated). Furthermore, I would encourage your entire household to go gluten free when eating at home. It really does make almost everyone feel better, and given that someone in your family has celiac, I would be VERY surprised if at least some of the others don't have it too, and simply aren't diagnosed. DH has gotten so used to eating gluten free at home he gets upset when he finally gets around to eating whole wheat (when going out to lunch with work friends, for example), because he feels just awful for a day or two afterwards. There are a lot of theories out there about why (antinutrients, opiate-like substances in the whole grain, etc), but despite higher levels of certain vitamins a large amount of people feel less healthy when they eat large amounts of whole wheat - and those are people without celiac or wheat allergies in their families!

She wasn't on the set live, they had her in the "Dr Phil House" which, to my understanding is a home where he has some people come for observation and therapy (I am not a regular viewer though). There was some video of Dr Phil interacting with her in the house. He brought in a puppy which she petted, they talked on a couch, they baked cookies together. She had a lot of trouble focusing (think severe ADHD x 10), sitting still, and tracking a conversation from one sentence to the next. She kept rubbing her hands together frantically and jumping up and running out of sight; the only time she seemed to focus on something was when Dr Phil would ask her to distinguish between hallucinations and reality, when she would sort of look at him sideways. Dr Phil repeatedly commented on her high energy. Her parents mentioned repeatedly this is what she's like on enough medication to put a normal person in a coma. I did find it exploitative, though I often find things on that show exploitative.

I've only seen her on Oprah & Dr Phil. I have to say I wasn't sure from the Oprah episode. Dr Phil seems to make it much more clear, though she knows the difference between hallucinations and reality and other schizophrenics I've seen did not know.

I remember a little while back there was some discussion about Jani and whether she was truly schizophrenic or just highly gifted with very poor parents. Today the family is on Dr Phil. Was just wondering if any of you have changed your opinions after watching today.

My mom hated this when she moved to the South. Not knowing you in person I can't say this for sure, but I'm guessing their problem with you is not your lack of church so much as you have different social ideas of what is appropriate, so you answer with a little bit of disdain or self-defense; and they are responding to what they perceive as rudeness rather than your church or lack thereof. There are definitely areas in small towns in the bible belt where your husband's job and which church you go to say A LOT about 98% of people who live in the area. You just haven't figured out what those things mean. To start with, don't tell people anything about your religious beliefs. Just say you've had trouble finding a church home because of your son's autism. Don't say anything about your children's dad's issues; just mention he's not really in the picture. I don't know about the home school group; but I do know that where you are right now church is important in social structure and you're doing your best to not fit in. A lot of people who are in your town have some serious doubts about God; they just go to church anyway because that's what people do. If you want to fit in, just ask one of those women for help, in a genuine, non-rude tone. Tell them you can't seem to find a church because of the autism, and see what happens. My guess? 4/6 will at least try to be helpful, if not become a friend. If you absolutely don't want to change yourself in ways to fit in, then by all means move to a city where there are more diverse people.

Yes, but I never call unless its an emergency. For minor chit chat we text.

It's on this morning's Good Morning America. I'm sure it will be on the ABC News website shortly if it's not already. Apparently it's ALL rice products; they said that because rice is grown in water it means more pesticides contaminate the plant (it made no sense to me).

Since I'm allergic to wheat, at least 5/7 weekly dinners (and leftover lunches the following day) are rice based (pasta, bread, rice itself). And now one serving can raise arsenic levels in your body by 40%; two servings by 70%! And we're supposed to limit rice consumption, cook it in a 6:1 water ratio, and choose white over brown??? I guess we'll switch to more organics? I don't know what else to do. Has anyone read the studies? Please tell me all this is overblown.

Yeah, once I turned out to have the stomach flu coming on, and two other times I got a very faint positive on a pregnancy test followed by a very heavy and painful period. These days I track my cycle on a phone ap so I always know how far along I am, and I do my best to wait until I am late to test. I hate knowing before things stick. Dollar Tree's tests are almost as good as First Response Early Result; but are MUCH cheaper. Buy 5-10; take them whenever you've had symptoms for more than 5 days.

You can also make them with premade sugar cookie dough; my stepmom used to do this for us when I was a child.

I didn't realize you're a blended family. That complicates things a lot. He's already feeling left out. I wouldn't send him to school. I would, if I were you, admit you're having trouble not escalating things too, and apologize for always having to get the last word. And if he's feeling so left out, I might tether him to you for a while. I mean, just like you would a toddler. Keep with him at every moment. That way perhaps you can see what's triggering him and soothe any fears about not being part of your life/family/heart.

Your DH is a marine... is he deployed? If not, I think it's time for your DH to have a conversation with him about speaking respectfully to all women, but especially to you. My parents were both in the Navy, and while I did my share of smirking and eye rolling, I cannot imagine ever saying hateful things to my mother just to say them. My dad would have spanked me for that even after my parents divorced (and he only spanked me three times in my life, all at age 5- once for walking onto the highway alone, and twice for getting in trouble for talking during nap time in kindergarten - he was upset about disparaging the family name by being publicly reprimanded, not that I broke a rule). He may need to step in to require some respect from this kid. Also, you need some emotional boundaries. He's 14, his power struggle is natural. Your emotional reaction to it is a little oversensitive. He's doing everything he can to trip every emotional trigger you have, and you're letting him. He's just a child. Stop letting him do that. You should not give a bratty child the ability to bully you, a grown woman, into crying. When you can wrap your mind around all of that and are feeling a little stronger emotionally, consider apologizing to him. You never wanted him to feel unloved or unwanted. You love him unconditionally, you'd love him even if he murdered you, but that doesn't mean that you aren't perfectly entitled to be both hurt and angered by his terrible behavior as of late. His behavior has to change, and it has to change now. If this were the mid 1800's, he very well might be considered old enough to leave home. But we live in a different era. His frustration about not being able to control more aspects of his life is natural, but his entitlement is not. Entitlement and disrespect are what you need to work on, not the frustration. If that conversation didn't immediately cause repentance and an apology from him, I'd strip ALL privileges immediately. Other ideas: Severely limit his access to media. I'm not a huge one for censorship, but there is definitely a link between bratty kid behavior and what tv shows, video games, music, etc. It's like that saucy snarky thing is so prevalent they think it's normal. Teen TV shows seem especially bad about this. As an adult snark might have it's place- it's hilarious and takes a quick wit - but as a child it is not acceptable. And if a kid isn't smart enough to understand when it's NOT okay to use snark, they need to limit their exposure to it for a while. when he has the proper level of respect, discuss with him what is frustrating him so much and why he's acting this way. This is not about him getting to complain about you, this is to figure out why he's so unhappy. Maybe there are simple things you can do to make him feel more in control of his life. Or perhaps you will figure out he's simply being an entitled brat and you need to remove ALL privileges until he genuinely feels remorseful and has a better attitude. he needs more physical work to do. If there is nothing available, then more exercise. Perhaps he can do PT with his dad twice a day and exercise at noon with you. Three hours of moderate exercise a day is not extreme. He's no longer a child, and he needs to start preparing to be grown and gone. This means he needs to not only clean up after himself, he needs to do his own laundry, make his own bed, etc. If you find he hasn't brushed his teeth the first time you asked, he needs a consequence, something like a combination of less screen time and an extra chore to complete. If at all financially possible, you need to get him into some activity that requires you to change your demeanor and attitude to succeed. Horseback riding is really good for that. So is martial arts. An extended backpacking trip, perhaps with boy scouts, perhaps alone with your DH. Outward Bound is particularly good at this sort of thing, though that's easier in the summer. He needs to pick a difficult physical goal he wants to accomplish and work towards it. Something challenging, but that he might accomplish in 3-9 months. It doesn't have to involve exercise per se, it could be something like learning to sail, or shooting a basket 100 times in a row, or building a tiny house himself from scratch and scrounged free materials. Something that involves concentration and physical work. We have never needed to threaten military school, but if a bratty kid was being combative and emotionally abusive, I might. One last thing- if this is a sudden change, seriously consider what he's done lately and who he's been with. Figure out if the change may have been triggered by abuse or drug use.

DH and I have been talking about the current and future state of education; specifically as related to the Chicago teacher strike, open courseware, and Khan's theories that any below average student, when taught at their own pace and to a level of mastery (rather than just to pass), can exceed at math (and probably at any subject). What if an online, challenging and (somewhat) classical education was available to you for your DC? Lets say it featured classic, out of copyright literature, with built in reading comprehension, spelling, vocabulary, history, science, (you could maybe even do handwriting if you used an iPad or one of those drawing input devices in lieu of a mouse), logic, etc. All the curriculum was at the child's own pace, they would work until mastery of each concept; there would be a certain amount of rabbit trails built into the system if the student desired to follow them, etc. Would you use something like that? What would you want in such a system? If we wanted to create something like that, how would you raise money for such a thing? Would you rather have a school charge tuition, or would you rather get it for free but have your DC exposed to advertisements? Should both options be available? We come at homeschooling from an academic perspective; and aren't afraid of traditional literature's more objective cultural aspects (we're completely sure our children can understand the perspective that attitudes change), but would you be concerned about older literature? Would you want something like creation science included as an option? What options would you like? Spelling intensive? More science? Specific project-based learning? How could a project such as that include things like memory work, recitation, etc?

I have never seen the point in all the writing that's required in public schools. READING more makes you a better writer, not writing more. Why require writing when they don't know anything yet? I require handwriting (later copywork), and other hand-eye coordination things like drawing, coloring, dot-to-dot pages, etc, but I don't require more than that until about the age of ten, when they can choose between calligraphy (and more copywork) or writing a one page essay everyday. We try to incorporate writing in "fun" ways like sending letters to family members, but that's a family activity, not a school one. And if they'd rather draw a picture for someone rather than write a letter, that's fine. As an aside, I do sometimes require extra copywork for discipline/attitude issues. Just minor corrections, really. Sometimes it's something like "I will not draw on the walls" or "I will not be rude," but more often it's copying a bible verse that's applicable to the situation.