I don't disagree that it would be okay for parents to sit in on the meetings, but I really don't understand why they would?? What is the purpose of the parents being in on these meetings? Maybe if you could give an example of the type of significant question you mean. I'm really not trying to be snarky or difficult, but I don't understand. And, I would hope at this age a young person would not need to be guided into getting a conversation back on track. As I wrote before we never did any meetings with admissions offices or department chairs or anything like that. Maybe we missed out - lol.

We attended large info sessions with Ds and walked around on tours (at the back). The only one on ones he had were for trial music lessons (when he was considering majoring in music. Even beyond that when he wanted to consider accessibility to music teachers after he knew he wouldn't major in music). I did not attend those. If I saw the professor after they were finished, I said hello and thanked them for their time, but that was it. It never would have occurred to me to interact specifically with professors/admit people, etc. I only interacted directly on issues related to money - FAFSA requirements for merit, if scholarships stacked, etc. Oh. And if making Alabama's deposit that was for BOTH housing and enrollment violated any ethics.

We are four years out of the application cycle (hard to believe!), but when Ds applied, some schools asked for both a "music resume'" as well as a music teacher recommendation IF a music supplement was submitted. Not all, but some. Princeton comes to mind. Is your Ds doing a music supplement? I am only somewhat familiar with the Royal School of Music exams (same as in England, correct? Graded(scaled) on level of difficulty?). Depending on his level of playing ability, perhaps you should consider his doing a music supplement. My thinking was that schools that allowed music supplements and wanted that extra info probably placed a lot of emphasis on music. Those that did not, probably didn't so might not have as much appreciation for a teacher rec. For the caliber of schools where Ds applied, they really expected students to be conservatory level in terms of their repertory if submitting a supplement. So, if he isn't at the level, I wouldn't submit. If he is, and a supplement is allowed, I would definitely do it. And, just to be clear, by "music supplement" I mean a recording of your Ds performing. Note that most schools are EXTREMELY specific about requirements for these, and they must be followed EXACTLY! I can elaborate further if you like, but I don't want to insult you by telling you something you may already know. :) Ds used his Scout Master where schools allowed an extra recommendation. Any extra recommender should be able to address an aspect of the student that isn't anywhere else on the application. You don't want it to be a repeat of what they could glean elsewhere. The Scout Master was able to speak (write) to ds's leadership abilities in a different way than a teacher could. I will add, however, that we were fortunate in that at ds's small school his Spanish teacher (who was one of his recommenders) also taught choir (and Ds volunteered as accompanist for three years), so Ds kind of got a two-fer on that one. So, if the music teacher can address something very specific about your Ds, s/he might be a good choice for an additional recommender. But if it's just more, "Ds works really hard and practices consistently, and does well on the theory portion of the exams," that probably doesn't add much that can't already be determined.

I have a friend who teaches there. If they are questions of the type a faculty member could answer, you could pm me, and I could pass them along to her! :)

Our preferred hotel for graduation for NEXT year was already "unavailable" when we tried to book today! We have secured alternate lodging, but it's not as close in as we had hoped for. Not terrible, just not our first choice. Just throwing this out there for others. Might be worth checking into your reservations if you have a kiddo graduating next year!

No direct advice, but has she considered the McDermott Scholars program at UT-Dallas? Throwing that out as something extra to explore if she is academically qualified. Ds has a friend who just graduated out of that program, and he had some amazing opportunities and nice perks.

So sad for OP and others experiencing this. Hoping for good outcomes for all.

Oops. Trying to respond from my phone. I misunderstood. I hope she adjusts well. I would let her take the lead on frequency of visits. And, I might be unavailable if she wanted them too frequently. But, I find my opinions on such things are usually different from most. Probably because we are so far away from ds, such frequent visits would not be an option. Yes, in my circles, girls definitely seem to be far more communicative than boys.

http://www.belmont.edu/cemb/degree-programs/aet.html Appears they have a Master's program as well.

May I (gently) make a suggestion? How long is the summer class? If it's just five weeks, I don't think I'd make a visit at all or encourage a trip home if she is coming home for a week in between this class and when she starts her orientation. It would give her time to adjust and sort through any issues on her own. You can provide moral support via texts, phone calls, and care packages. I would limit my calls to short ones as well except for maybe a lengthy once a week. My recollection is that there is no specific reason (medical, psychological, etc) that she can't be away from you that long other than the fact that she has never done it previously. For someone who is 16, 17, 18??? (not sure of her age), I would imagine she could do it. I think building her confidence that she CAN do it is important. It's fine to acknowledge her homesickness, but I wouldn't "feed" it, if that makes sense. Others may disagree (and disagree strongly) - just my $0.02. Not sure how else to build her confidence that she can be away unless she truly *is* away. Hugs to both of you. I know it can be hard.

Ds never had a typical teen job. He graduated at 16 and could find nothing the summer after his senior year of high school. Almost everything was 18+. He did have one interview that went well, and the job would have been a great fit (retail outdoorsy/camping/hiking place), and I think they were ready to hire him. However, when they asked how many hours he could work during the school year the answer was, "Zero," because he was going out of state for college. While the job was advertised as a "summer job," they really wanted someone year-round. Being in a college town, there really are no summer jobs. Their expectation was full time in the summer and part time during the school year.

Not really. We used what I call the "pile approach." Here is the designated pile of money for your education. If you choose to go where you receive scholarships, the remainder of your pile can be applied to grad school. If there is still some in the pile (or grad school is not pursued), then it could be used for a car, downpayment on a house, travel, etc. Something we deemed reasonable. Turned out to be a moot point as ds is spending the entire pile on undergrad. I would never put limitations on choice of major. That's just not my M.O. While our "pile" was sufficient to cover any undergraduate institution (btw, some of us DO think paying $60,000+ per year is worth it), that approach can be used for any amount of money as the starting point for anyone's conversation. Whether it's $500 or $500,000, the "pile" is the financial stipulation.

I think they have often gotten rusty on Geometry.

I have a friend who earned his PhD in history about 25-26 years ago. He is a tenured professor/Dean at a regional university with many first gen college students in a state he never wanted to live in. It was his first and only teaching post. When he applied all those many years ago, he was one of approximately 120 applicants for the job. Yes, that long ago. I'm sorry that is likely discouraging to you, but your Ds needs to have eyes wide open. With on-line courses and the replacement of tenure-track positions with plenty of well-qualified adjuncts, I fear that the course of professional academia is forever changed. I can't say what to suggest as an alternative. Does your nearby CC offer any types of testing for career paths - personality, interest, aptitude? Perhaps that could help him think about other options. With that said, I am not a fan of choosing a career based on potential earning capacity if it is not a good fit. As someone else said, I think a secondary teaching certificate would be a good credential to have if he continues on this path. Hugs. I know it's hard. Writing and the passionate study of history can always be enjoyed on the side.

I think the bio would make me more nervous because I would assume there would be a lot of premed students in there. They can be an awfully competitive bunch.

My thoughts are maybe to try one of the two but not both. Maybe the lit since that prof is on the verge of retiring? Ds's school is the same in allowing great flexibility, not being sticklers for pre-reqs ("sure, give it a try if you think you can do it" sort of attitude), etc. However, college life *is* an adjustment no matter how bright and driven the student is. She is going to be surrounded by equally bright and driven students. There may be a bit of imposter syndrome even for the super smart. Ds only took 13 units his first quarter to ease into college life. Pushing yourself a little is fine, but I wouldn't overdo it. You want that first foray into college life to be successful. He's currently finishing up a stats class where he lacked a pre-req and has done very well, but he is a junior now and understands expectations much better. He's done quarters with 18-19 units successfully, but I wouldn't want your dd's zeal to come back to haunt her. Is she living on-campus? I can't recall.

Interesting. The opposite happens here. So many attend the state flagship down the road, if you look/go elsewhere, well, "Is Big State U not good enough for you?" So, you're judged for NOT staying local. As I have often said, "You're d@mned if you do, and d@mned if you don't." Find the fit that works for YOUR kid. Find what works for YOUR family. Whatever it is, wherever it is! Too many people concerned with the monkeys and circuses of others!

Smh. As I always say to ds, "You're never useless if you can serve as a bad example." Just don't BE the bad example.

Hugs, 8. Corporate life is tough - no doubt about it.

http://msande.stanford.edu/about/department-overview Management Science & Engineering

Paid internship with a management consulting firm. Only home in September for two weeks and two days, part of which will be taken up with gum surgery and subsequent recovery. :/

Lol! So funny!

Ds did an audition-based summer piano academy at IU, and we visited Belmont when he was considering music performance. Ultimately, he did not go that route, and did not apply to either. That said, I found Bemont to have a very nurturing environment. If I had reservations about a child going away (which I did not), I would have fewer reservations about Belmont compared to other schools. Faculty seemed very supportive. Students we encountered were considerate and open about their faith. Only complaint I heard was limited cafeteria hours. Jacobs is a highly regarded music school and very large. The campus is sprawling. I would think very different experiences would be had between Belmont and IU. I would assume IU would be much more diverse among its student body and majors (IU also has a strong undergraduate business program). Music seems to permeate everything at Belmont (though they also have a strong nursing program). I believe IU has a music + emphasis in another area type of program. How old is your dd? Ds did academic summer programs from 7th grade on (and sleep-away camps before that). He was very used to be being away from home. Perhaps testing the waters with being away for the summer might be a good idea? Though it is too late for this summer for audition programs. Perhaps next summer? I think job placement can be difficult with Music Ed. The faculty at Belmont were very transparent about how difficult it was for students to find jobs. It's just a supply and demand issue.

Ds spent the most time on his Common App essay. His English teacher proofread it (as she did for all of her senior students). She had about three marks on it - a sentence underlined with her comment, "needs more clarity," a couple of comma changes, and one word circled with her comment, "word choice???? - too cliche? Or did you choose this word on purpose?" To my knowledge, that was the only essay she read. To me, that is the way anyone should proofread someone else's writing: proofing for true grammatical/usage errors and reading for content. Not throwing out exact ways to rewrite something but rather poinitng out places where the student might give more thought. Ds had to write multiple essays because he applied to several top-tier schools. Generally, he found ways to be efficient and tweak them to work for multiple schools. Meaning, he had common themes/topics that could be reworked for multiple essays. There were two essays for his top choice school that he really struggled with/could not get going on. Finally, about a week before the deadline, he went in his room and wrote them both in about an hour. I read both of those - really some of his better stuff. One truly had me laughing out loud. My edit? "I think you need a comma here," on one of them. I didn't read all of ds's essays for all schools but read them when asked. He asked me to read one for his only Ivy. It was completely convoluted, and I couldn't follow it at all and told him so. It was not one with one of those common themes/topics, so he had to start fresh. Don't think he changed a thing (he was sick of it all by then) and was rejected. Not saying that one essay would have made a difference either way, but it certainly didn't help him. It was a mess. I have never read a college paper of his. He generally writes well and has confidence in his writing ability. I was really pleased (and surprised) that he visited the writing center at his school before turning in his first paper. He said he felt that a first college paper was too important not to have someone else look over it. I think he reworked it per their suggestions and wound up with a B or B- on it. I believe he went back to the writing center one more time to go over the comments from the first paper and to get started on his second paper and that was it. I think having someone proofread/edit college application essays is prudent. There is a sweet spot of the correct amount of guidance, however.

We never explored this, but it is my understanding that it is possible to obtain tuition insurance. No idea what that covers specifically and if it includes costs beyond tuition (prorated room & board, fees, etc). If my child had health issues that I knew about before enrollment that could potentially trigger a withdrawal during school, I think that is something I would have looked into. I have a friend whose ds was pre-med and received a B in a class. His parents immediately drove six hours to our in-state flagship to talk to "someone" (not sure who) because of unfairness/issues/really no idea with the professor. Got the grade changed to an A. SMH. Their ds is in DO school now. This is the type of thing that is over the top to me. As far as the $65,000 per year goes - yeah, we are paying around that. No, I don't have access to grades. We require ds to tell us his final grades at the end of each quarter. He could lie his head off to us if he wanted to, but I trust him to be truthful. I raise him to be truthful. He has been as I did see a transcript when we had to scan it to our insurance agent for a good student discount on car insurance. Otherwise, he has just told us his grades. If parents want to impose a restriction on paying based on receiving certain grades, that is perfectly reasonable to me. It's the parents' money. They can spend it however they want and can impose whatever terms and conditions they like. If that includes access to log-ins, that's their choice. It's just not something I would ever do. I do agree that there is no one-size-fits-all and that common sense should prevail. To me, there is a level of involvement for your no-unusual-circumstances student that crosses a line which makes me question the parents' level of common sense.