I'm sorry you don't have a safe and welcoming place in your "real world" for you to grieve and mourn, but I'm glad you felt safe to process here when you don't have anyplace else to do it. Hugs and prayers.

I tried (and sent back) so many jeans but finally found some at LLBean that I like. They have free shipping and free return shipping if you use their credit card. I have friends who love NYDJ but I can't justify spending that much on jeans.... yet.

I tried (and sent back) so many jeans but finally found some at LLBean that I like. They have free shipping and free return shipping if you use their credit card. I have friends who love NYDJ but I can't justify spending that much on jeans.... yet.

Just another thought - by giving everybody time adjust to the new normal - you send a message to the staff (particularly the caregivers) that you trust them; that you consider them key team members; and that, for the great majority of the time, you will be relying on (and deferring to) them to make decisions regarding your loved ones' day to day care.

I wouldn't beat yourself up about this. Their life in the memory unit will be very different than if they were in the assisted living unit. And they were able to maintain their independence for as long as possible. And you ARE caring for them by finding the best care for them, with trained professionals who know how to handle any situation as it arises. This way, you (and SIL and other family members) get to enjoy the time you spend with them, rather than being rundown and resentful and stressed from caring for their every need. And I agree with the ones who have said to leave them be, let them get adjusted, don't accept their phone calls, for a week or two. Maybe talk with a SW or nurse or caregiver and let them help you decide when best to visit. And remind yourself every day - you are doing the best you can with the best you have.

That was going to be my suggestion. We had an amazing docent. I dragged my family in for what was meant to be an hour, and two hours later I dragged them out of there - it was that interesting.

I think it's better than continuing to talk with the mouth full of food. But otherwise, yeah - a bit egotistical and controlling.

I don't think you would go wrong with either. Hilton Head is much more than the beach - for example, the Gullah museum is a unique experience and there are some beautiful walking trails. I agree with Creekland - why not do both? It sounds like you or your spouse will have a conference in both places, so why not make each of them a family getaway tied with a business trip? We've done that too many times to count.

I had never heard of that website. I thought it was hilarious that it had ads for The Gap and Appleseeds at the top of the "31 Day Declutter Challenge"....Purge some, buy some :p

And free (quite long!) interviews with Ian McKellan and Judi Dench! Thanks Laura!!

Welcome to the forums, Shaz. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this issue with your MIL and her nursing home!! I would recommend you get an attorney or a social worker (or the equivalent) in Australia to help you navigate this. When we were dealing with elder care issues with my mom in another (US) state from where I live, I found a great care manager there to help us - I wish I could have brought her with us when we moved my mom! Our care manager is affiliated with this group, I realize it's a US based organization, but it might give you some idea of what to look for in Australia.

It's been a few years since I've been in your shoes, so things might have changed. But I will say, every school does things differently! At one school, the fat envelope may mean acceptance (with other fun items in the package) while at another school, the thin envelope has the good news. My dd applied ED or EA to all her schools, with the ED school of course being binding. They mailed their (thin) envelopes mid-December, but of course that was the year we got big snows all across the country in December so hers took a delayed trip to our house. She emailed back and forth with the school, and they FINALLY emailed her a copy of her acceptance on Dec. 23, the last day the admissions office was open till the beginning of January. Needless to say, that was the best Christmas present she got that year :)

When my dd went to college over 4 years ago, she took this one with her. When she left for grad school in August, it went with her again. She loves the thing. Even with a dryer in her current apartment, she ends up hanging most things. It folds easily and quickly, and actually holds a lot of clothes in a compact space - it basically has 4 "shelves" plus the mesh on top.

Agreeing with everybody about the caregiver situation. Next week set aside some time to interview somebody - a referral from a friend, or a caregiver group you could use. We used - very briefly - this group when we saw my mom could no longer handle the day to day aspects of her life - they came in every day for a few hours, then they came in 24/7 when my mom fell and I was at a national dance comp with my daughter. they were WONDERFUL - not saying they would be right for you, but definitely a starting point for you. And one of the first things you should do once you have a caregiver in place is take your dd for ice cream or manicures or whatever floats your boat to celebrate her participation with the team. And I get not wanting to leave her during this time :grouphug: My dh wanted me to accompany him on a business trip in Asia for two weeks but I wasn't interesting in leaving my mom that long - and she's not anywhere close to dying, just transitioning into a memory unit.

Thank you! It gives me a lot of food for thought for my subbing days.

Not here. We broke yesterday's all time record high. It's currently 75 degrees at 10:30. <_<

That takes care of the next set of games. But the league (or higher ups, I don't know the hierarchy) needs to know about your experience. I'm speechless. You know, I haven't heard or read that word in so long that I find it more shocking and appalling than most cuss words (and I hate foul language). Hugs to your dd, your ds, and YOU.

SECOND POST FROM OP DON'T FOLLOW THE LIGHTS, HOBBITSES :huh:

And I didn't mean to minimize your B&N experience :grouphug: When we were expats, I had a meltdown once in Michaels. Too many choices! Too many new (to us anyway) items!

Is there an international or American school where you live? They often offer AP classes, perhaps your student could self-study and take the exam there. Personally I think the advantages of being an expat teenager FAR outweigh the perceived advantages of AP availability. I think any college your student is considering would understand that he didn't have AP scores on his transcript. ETA just noticed your location. I'll trade places with you :D A year ago we spent two weeks in Scandinavia and I'd go back in a heartbeat. I understand not having a big travel budget, but you are within driving distance of some amazing landscape and museums.

Check places like Sierra Trading Post and 6pm. Sierra Trading Post has coupons ALL the time. 6pm has free shipping all the time (they're Zappo's discount provider).

Running, walking, reading, a glass of wine. Spending quality time with good friends - my best friend lives 4 hours away (we lived in her city previously) and we try to spend a weekend a month at each other's homes. We have much deeper conversations that way :) Great question, Creekland!

THAT is wonderful! :hurray: Particularly her disclaimer. Never a dull moment at your house, eh? :lol:

This thread reminded me of a funny from my wedding nearly 28 years ago. We had pre-ordered the napkins (the reception was in the fellowship hall of the church where the ceremony was held) and soon-to-be dh was supposed to bring them to the church. Well, he forgot them :) but the caterer had some extra plain white napkins which (I guess) she put out on the tables. To this day, we have lots of napkins with our names and the date on it. We have moved them around the world. It's a memory that I cherish. Was our wedding "perfect"? Heck no. Was this something a coordinator might have prevented? Absolutely. Would I want her to do so? Absolutely, positively not. Just thinking about it again brings a warm smile to my face. OP, sorry you are getting so much pushback from the WTM crowd. I think in general (broad brush here) none of us have felt the need or desire for your services. I wish you the best.

Now I have a picture of Steve Martin in "Father of the Bride" - wasn't "Franc" (Martin Short) the wedding coordinator? And Steve's character still ran around like crazy and missed a lot of the "big moments"