(Cold) Gingerale in a bowl. Add a (ideally round) package of raspberry sherbet. It's really yummy and pretty. Start with cold gingerale and hard-frozen sherbet to make it last longer. You can toss in some frozen raspberries if you want to decorate it.

My layperson's understanding of the benefits of hot compresses is that the heat brings blood flow and so good bacteria-fighting blood to the area. Also, if it is hot enough, the heat itself can actually kill the bacteria, which is why super hot soaking can quickly bring it under control. Then you've also got the increased blood flow to help naturally as well. I've never had one on a finger or toe that couldn't be knocked out in 24 hours or so of every-few-hours super hot soaking for 10-20 min. I'm sure we've done this at least 20-100 times in the past decade, as our family is prone to ingrown toe or finger nails from being rough on our cuticles. Keep at it! A bowl of very hot tap water will work just fine, IME. http://www.wellness.com/reference/conditions/abscesses/prevention-and-treatment ps. If you can easily see the pus through the skin, and it is not yet open and draining, I'd lance it with a sterile needle. I happen to have ready access to sterile needles, but if you don't, then you can home sterilize a (large, sharp) sewing needle by boiling it in water for 5-10 minutes. You'll get a lot of immediate pain relief, but keep at it with the hot soaks to get it healed. Once it is opened, then wrap it in a bandaid with antibiotic ointment in between soaks, both for protection from bumping it (painful) and of course to keep the nastiness contained and to prevent new dirt/germs from entering the open wound.

If a boil is an abscess with pus in it, as I am guessing, then, IME, soaking it in VERY hot water (as hot as you can possibly stand) for 10-20 min a few times a day really helps knock it back quickly. That's the trick we use for infections around an ingrown finger/toe nail, and it usually fixes it within 24 hours. Trick is to use VERY hot water on JUST the infected area. A finger is great because it's easy to stick it in a sink without the rest of the hand (which wouldn't be able to stand hot enough water).

A thought . . . This is one reason why I don't do "groups". I have plenty of friends. Some are on Facebook, some are not (at all) on Facebook. Sometimes I post a picture with a friend (or a few friends) on Facebook, generally ones with other people who use Facebook. It's fun. They get to see the cute pics. However, since I don't "do" groups in general, I can't imagine anyone being hurt by the pics I post. If I post a pic of a dear old friend (& family) from high school who now lives across the country . . . no one could be hurt. Our old high school friends likewise are scattered (as she and I are) and no one is in "a group" with the two of us any more. If I post a pic from a hike or trail run with girl friend(s), no one has been left out because in general, I'm *always* trying to lure *anyone* out to join us via Facebook posts/invites/etc, lol. Etc, etc. I just don't do church/homeschool/whatever groups. I have friends. We do stuff. Some friends know each other, most don't. So, to me, these issues can sometimes be avoided by simply avoiding artificial "groups" and instead having genuine one-on-one relationships instead.

Awww, that's a bummer.

Not certain, but could be an annual (or some other regular interval) service fee for your account. We have an HSA, and I know that there is a modest annual fee for the debit account part of it. Maybe 20/yr in my case, but I shopped around and chose the lowest fee provider I could find. (Health Savings Administrators). (You might not have had a choice, though. I am the administrator of my accounts, as we own the business.)

Well, it was obnoxious. I'd probably let it slide besides mentioning, "Ouch, that hurt!" and if non-immediate family were present to observe his rudeness, I might add an embarrassed smile and shoulder shrug aimed at those who heard his comment. Or maybe a, "Whoops, I guess I forgot to order the Miss Manners for Preteens" book . . . Let me put that in the Amazon cart for your 12th birthday . . . In general, I really wouldn't want to make a big scene out of it or let it really ruin the event for everyone. So, I'd minimize it and file it away in my brain as something to work on . . . FWIW, since he had told you clearly (in writing no less!) that he didn't want clothes as gifts, and so you clearly knew that, then I do think it was unkind of you to give him clothes as a gift. He's your young kid. You provide clothes because it's what a parent does . . . Don't give him clothes as gifts again until you are sure he is of an age when he would like it or it is some special thing he'd love (a t-shirt with his favorite team/whatever on it if he would really like it . . .) Gifts are supposed to be chosen because someone would like it, not because you would like the person to have it. Don't let the drive to have a big pile of wrapped gifts encourage you to give unwanted things. If you want to buy him a shirt, do it, but don't call it a gift, because he clearly doesn't care about clothes. It'd be like your dh or your MIL wrapping up some similarly undesired necessity for you as a gift. Maybe bags for the vacuum machine, or dish soap . . . no fun in that for you, just some crap you need. Many kids think of clothes that way. (FWIW, I feel the same way about diapers for baby showers . . . fine as a way to subsidize broke new parents . . . but no fun . . . If I am asked to bring diapers to a shower, I DO, but I also bring "real" presents.) 11 is the preview of the ugly, unpleasant early teen years IME. I'd get used to it, ignore it, and keep your fingers crossed that you all survive the next few years without too many scars. Sorry that happened. That age is tough. Very. Tough. ((((hugs))))

Yup. My 16 year old came down with it from both ends last night . . . while we were sleeping . . . and he wisely left his contaminated bedroom and bathroom and puked all over our family room, powder room and laundry room, wandered in and out of the kitchen, and shat on the couch. We have two washer/dryers which are both busy, and the rest of us have already spent hours sanitizing and cleaning . . . We had houseguests who left this morning, and their 8 year old started this Tuesday . . . so pretty much our entire house is contaminated or at least potentially contaminated. This is one of those times that having a huge house is not a good thing . . . My hands are already dry and ouchy from just cleaning the kitchen, dining, powder room . . . I'm taking a breather and then am heading back at it . . . I never, ever manage to avoid everyone getting sick once a GI bug comes into the family. Other illnesses we can manage to avoid spreading, but somehow GI bugs are just too potent to avoid transmitting . . . I still can't believe my 16 year old decided to contaminate the entire main floor of the house instead of staying in his bedroom and bathroom . . .

We did it with my mom for the last 18 months of her life. We'd expected it to be several years or more. We made it work by adding on a large addition. Her rooms (living space, bed, bath, mini kitchen, own entrances and own back deck) are on the opposite side of the house from our master bedroom, and on the first level whereas our room is on the second floor. If I were ever planning such a thing again (not as the child, but as the parent, as my parents are gone now), I think that's a good way to do it. It allows separate living spaces. Having a large recreation room in the basement is also really helpful to allow a noisy teen/kid space separate from the adult areas. That was really helpful to us, although we hadn't originally planned to add that finished space, doing it was actually really very helpful. So, yes, I'd do it again, but I think having lots of intelligently planned space with multiple living areas is important. Sound proofing is also really important. I did some modest sound proofing (insulating some interior walls and ceilings), but if I were doing it again, I'd invest in high quality sound proofing for all couples' bedrooms (or at least MINE) for obvious reasons for both having a refuge from outside disturbances and privacy. FWIW, I am very glad we did what we did for Mom, even though it was very expensive and challenging.

Kharma is a bitch.

ps. Consider hospice. Talk to her Drs about it. They can be SO helpful.

However, IME, mental capacity to execute legal documents goes a LONG way into ALZ/dementia DX. (My now-deceased mom had ALZ, she was a lawyer, she had great lawyers who were personal friends as well as estate/family lawyers . . . They all confirmed that she could still update/change her POAs well into her DX. Legal capacity, scarily, seems to progress far into dementia . . . Of course, that COULD be fought afterwards if your sister is adamant, has deep pockets and plenty of time . . . but if you and your other siblings are in agreement, it is unlikely she'd win, and your combined pockets would likely be deeper than the one disagreeing sister . . .) My advice would be to HURRY to an estate/family lawyer, ideally one you already have a relationship with (so they'll trust you) and have them draw up and immediately execute appropriate POAs, etc with you as the POA/proxy/etc. DO IT NOW. There is a good chance you can get a lawyer to draw up and execute these documents. It is much, much cheaper and easier than doing guardianship. If you do guardianship, the process will be longer, uglier, and much more costly and much more of a head ache for you. Presumably you've already learned not to let that one sister take Mom to medical appointments. You go from now on, and you guide/advise that the chemo is too hard on her and it needs to stop. DO NOT DELAY in getting the legal stuff straightened out. If you don't get it straight now, you are in for a world of hurt if your sister fights you. Get a DNR/POST form completed ASAP, too. You can execute this without a POA, because as long as it isn't in place, your mom can sign it. Her DR can help you do the form. Or search for a local "end of life" organization and/or hospice who can help you do this. HURRY.

Call the radon people if you don't want to mess with it yourself. You've got to get it out of there or it'll die and also stink and block up your system. Yes, you should be able to take apart the pipe to get it out (or cut the pipe and easily patch it), but you need to make sure it is all water-tight back together again in the end, so if you don't want to be responsible for that, call the radon people. Or, DIY now and call the radon people if you need help putting it back together.

If you are involved at all with a church, could you come up with a last minute decision to go help with some function at the church on Christmas Eve? That might get you out of the house for part or most of the evening, lessening the pressure on you with the in-laws. That said, if you can just suck it up and ENJOY your Christmas Eve with your family, and just look past the presence of your in-laws . . . that would be best, IMHO. Don't let them mess up your own family's enjoyment. Be generous, look at it as an act of love for your dh . . . and just be happy and let go. Maybe have an extra glass or two (not too many!) glass of wine . . .

Dh works FT+ and, yes, he helps lots at home. I'm lucky. I wouldn't want to write how lucky, because it would seem like bragging and likely make others grouchy. That said, each person is unique. I personally feel like it's sort of on me, as the FT at home person and the only one of us two who cares how clean or nice the house is . . . to limit my expectations to what he can comfortably and happily give/do. If he weren't happy to cook a lot, we'd eat simpler, but I'd do it. If he weren't OK with helping out with dishes/dogs/kids/etc, we'd have fewer pets, and we'd simplify our lives . . . Now, I don't think it'd be cool if the working spouse expected 4 course from scratch meals and home made bread and to have 8 pets and 6 kids and to not do diddly squat at home . . . But, if I actually worked hard the entire time he was out of the house working, I could easily keep the house nice and clean and keep up with the household chores, kid stuff, etc. The only reason we both have to work some hours when he is home is because I sleep a lot more than he does (sleeping in while he goes off to work) and also because we have really high expectations as to how we want the home/meals/kids/pets/etc. So, we both work a bit more, and we're cool with that. Also, when I wanted help cleaning, I could (and did) hire it. I only stopped that because I'd rather do it myself at this point as I don't like dealing with staff at home and also I think my kids need to learn to be more helpful with chores/etc, as I was afraid they were getting a bit spoiled and would have a hard time in the real world later . . .

I don't see any justification for hanging out in a bedroom when he is the youngest kid (only?) at home (as there is no need to get away from annoying younger sibs). Public spaces only with mixed-gender groups. Period. A same sex friend, assuming your son is straight, is fine for a sleep over or hanging out in the room . . . but, no opposite gender folks in the bedroom, period. Public spaces, with you wandering in and out, is the way to go, IMHO. I'd also prohibit cell phones, laptops, computers, or any other device with a camera in bedrooms or bathrooms or "any space with a lock on the door". Know that iPods are essentially smart phones when on wifi. Treat them and any other tablets, etc, as you would a smart phone. I'd also be worried about substance abuse, etc. It's a dangerous age. He needs friends, but he doesn't need lots of privacy, IMHO. In fact, lots of privacy is dangerous at that age, IME. Personally, I also advise picking up a range of at-home drug tests from Amazon. You can get all sorts, for just a few dollars. I've taken to randomly (about weekly or so) testing my 16 yo old son. We started this with marijauna testing when he was spending a month in the pot-legal state of CO at an adult music festival this summer. I started it as a motivator/threat to dissuade him from being tempted to experiment while there. So far, it's worked. Trick for me is that we warned him ahead of time of the testing to come, and then we followed through. Now I test him for THC, nicotine (because vaping is all the rage with young teens), and a "random" third dip stick that is actually another THC test (more sensitive), but he doesn't know what that third test is for . . . so I'm hoping it scares him from trying anything. He knows that "hell will rain down" if he ever tests positive for anything, and he has so far tested clean each time . . . He is annoyed, but actually, I know he likes it. It gives him an "out" from being tempted by peers, etc . . . as he can say, truthfully, that Mom will (may) catch him since I test, and that fear helps him abide by these rules. I never did such a thing with my older dd and don't expect to need it for my younger dd either, but my ds is more rebellious . . . So I added this to my parenting arsenal.

I'd make police reports for the violent threats. That is clearly illegal. You don't need to keep it within the school. And, I'd make it a rule that my kid(s) had to ride in the very front of the bus as close to the driver as is possible. I'm so sorry.

The husband went to be with his family. It's entirely possible that the two of them are processing things differently. She may want/need the familiarity of her own blood family, but be uncomfortable around anyone else. I know that if I had ever suffered such a catastrophic loss, I'd want nothing to do with my husband's relatives. My husband probably wouldn't *want* to be around any of his relatives (or my relatives) during such a time. He'd only *want* to be around me and our kids. I would have wanted the comfort of my mom and dad (when they were alive, they are both gone now). However, he might have been OK with being around his relatives with or without me. I'm just saying to let it go, keep being as wonderfully gracious as the OP has already been. Don't take it personally. Just let it go, keep being kind, wait it out for at least a year, and hope that the SIL recovers her balance and can again be a reasonably kind SIL. If she's still a bitch after a year or two, then, fine, cut your losses or whatever, but, IMHO, it is the right thing to keep being gracious and patient and doing whatever SIL and BIL ask (or don't ask) and don't take it personally that SIL is clinging to her family of origin and her own nuclear family and doesn't want to deal much with in-laws and/or is not very gracious herself. She lost a baby; she needs grace.

Being with your own mother/family of origin is 100% different from being with in-laws. If I were in your SIL's shoes, I'd be licking my wounds and I can understand not wanting to deal with in-laws. She lost a baby. I'd give her grace for another year or so. If she's still being crazy after a full year, then feel free to cut the cord. For now, though, I'd just keep doing the very gracious and kind things you've done so far.

FWIW, root canals "go bad". I just had one do that. :( My (great) dentist told me that these days, she typically sees root canals get re-infected (and then have to be redone!) around year 7. I was year 5. I'm special! She further told me that 30 years ago, root canals lasted "forever" . .. Her theory is that's because they used to always use antibiotics, but don't anymore (for good reasons). She put me on antibiotics while I waited to see the endodontist the next week to have the redo root canal. (The endodontist told me that I had infection there under the crown, in the fork of the roots . . . due to a crack in the crown . . . Whatever the cause, one way or another, I had essentially an abscess in there, with no nerves in the roots since I'd had a root canal, but a bulging pocket of pus that presses against dead roots + bones + hard teeth/crowns . . . is painful. And that's what I had.) I had significant pain in the tooth on and off for a couple weeks and it got bad enough that I called the dentist. Then, a couple days later, the pain got so much better that I almost cancelled the appointment. Fortunately, I went on it. The dentist explained that the decreased pain was probably because the pus "drained" . .. ICK. Sure enough, the pain started increasing again the next day, before I filled the RX. I filled it, and the pain subsided . . . Now it's all fixed with a new root canal and new crown. :) FWIW, I am a big sissy about dental pain. If I were tougher, or less financially able to handle the dental bills, or more scared of the dentist (I trust and love mine now, although I still take Xanax for things like root canals and crown prep . . .) I could have easily waited a lot longer . . . and I could imagine you could have a waxing/waning infection that goes on for a very long time, especially if you're doing things like oil-pulling/etc that might help reduce inflammation and/or infection . . . So, yah, I'd make the appointment. :)

ps. Just name your homeschool. I named ours Sugar Hill Academy. I used that name for various publishers, etc, and you could put a similar name on your diploma. Then, when the person is applying for jobs, he's just list "Sugar Hill Academy, Plano TX, June 10, 2017" under high school. It would not be apparent to anyone that was a homeschool.

I am an employer (via our small business, a vet hospital). We have employed at least 100 people over the 11+ years we've owned the practice, most of whom were entry level employees, some in college, some with just a high school degree. I assure you that we've never given a fig where the diploma came from. The more important thing for employability would be helping him get some work experience at the ages 18-20 or so (maybe while attending community college part time?). Get one or two years of PT experience, ideally at least 6 months at one employer, and a good reference or two, and he'll be all set.

Agreed. Chicken wire is pretty flimsy compared to some good alternatives. Hog wire, panel fence, or chain link are all better alternatives. Chainlink is the toughest, well maybe the same as panel fencing.

ahonestly, I think I have this, and so did my dad. What helps me is sleep medicine. I use Melatonin + Benadryl an hour before sleep time. Try it. Start with just melatonin, maybe 3 mg, but on a night when it isn't crucial he be sharp in the morning in case it's a high dose for him. Go down to 2, then 1, if he's still too sleepy in the morning. (I started at 5 mg and am down to 2.) If melatonin alone doesn't cut it, I'd say add benadryl, but consult a DR. I'd rather not be on Benadryl everynight if I could help it.

Holy crap. The blue replies within my quoted post make me think you are a super hero. I take to my bed for a day after a root canal. LOL I am a sissy. If someone cuts off any of my body parts, I surely expect at least a week of catering to and pampering. It sure is great to hear that it might not be so bad, though!