Actually, that is a fair consideration when each spouse can earn a good living. In our situation, dh's earning power is at least 4x mine, and even for me to reach that level would take time and effort (that I'd be unlikely to want to spend if meanwhile dealing with a disabled partner!) If you can each earn a good living, and you could jointly live OK on one income, then that is definitely a reasonable consideration. I'd still want at last some disability insurance, to, if nothing else, defray expenses of caring for someone with a disability.

Well, I know expectations vary, but I would have considered us destitute if dh had died and left us only with SSI. We could not have survived in anything close to our current lifestyle (or our then-current lifestyle) with SSI. We lived in high COL areas, we had large mortgages/educational/business debts, and we are used to living large. Of course, we would not have starved or been actually homeless. But, the music lessons, the homeschooling, the travel, the ability to fund college, the ability to one day retire comfortably . . . those things would not be possible relying on government benefits. Obviously, what is destitute to *me* isn't destitute to a family living comfortable and debt-free on 30k/yr and what is destitute to that family isn't destitute to a family living on food stamps or another family in the developing world. I think it is just important for people to take the time to realistically evaluate what would happen to their loved ones if they died or were disabled, and to plan accordingly.

I agree that 500k is not sufficient insurance for every family. You need to consider a LOT of factors. Our coverage for dh has ranged from 250k 19 years ago to about 1.75 million now, and will be down to 750k when dh is 58 years old, by which time we'll have a lot of assets/retirement savings in place and only maybe a year or two of college left for one child. 500k would not be nearly enough for us today, but for when dh is ages 65-70, it'd be totally fine for us. I personally agree that disability insurance is vital if at all possible. It is harder to qualify for and much more complicated to select and expensive to pay for, so I can understand why not all families can figure it out and/or justify the expense. But, personally, we've always had it on dh.

1. I get that one. To me, being uninsurable prior to making a family is one acceptable excuse for running the risk of leaving your family without coverage . . . In my personal opinion, this situation, however, does call on the adults to make conservative decisions to mitigate the risk to their families. I.e., each spouse needs to retain an ability to support themselves and their families (keep up education, credentials, contacts) . .. and also cash savings and minimizing debt need to be immediate constant priorities in order to minimize risk to survivors. 2. IMHO, it is an unacceptable risk not to carry life insurance if you have dependents that can't be OK without your survival. To me, this is a fundamental need that would require the same priority as immediate food/shelter/health. If one is on that tight a budget now, this what would happen to dependents if the wage earner died! So, to me, that means that the adults in the family need to fix this via cut another expense or get more income. Period. Just the same as if you "couldn't afford" food. Find a way. OR, don't have dependents . . . But don't put other people in a position to be dependent on you if you can't do everything possible to protect their survival . . . Get a mail route. Or cut cable. Or get a burner phone instead of a "real" phone. But, no, leaving your survivors destitute isn't a responsible choice, IMHO. Just my priorities, personally.

How is even possible that not many people afford life insurance easily? We are in the process of updating our estate plans, and one of the things we did was take a new 500k 20 year term life policy on my turning-50-this-year-dh. It is under $80/mo. (He has excellent health.) The $1,000,000 20 year term we took out 11 years ago costs about the same since he was just 40 at that time. I'm sorry to be harsh, but it is simply the height of irresponsibility not to have adequate life insurance for your dependents. Work a little more, cut back a little something, but everyone should have life insurance if others depend on them and adequate assets are not yet in place to support them. We took out our first life insurance policies when we had our first baby. Since then, we've reassessed policies (both life and disability) every few years and updated as appropriate. Simple term life insurance cheap as long as you are reasonably healthy and young. Yes, disability insurance is dramatically more expensive (but also dramatically more likely to actually be used). We do have it on dh, and it costs a LOT. I think the new supplemental policies I just got quoted for 4900/mo in coverage are around 250/mo in premiums. Yes, that's way more than life insurance. It is a lot. I can see that some families would really struggle to get disability coverage. Depending on your circumstances, it may or may not be critical or reasonable to pay . . . But, life insurance? That's a no brainer IMHO.

No pets in our bedroom. This is critical. A HEPA filter running 24/7 in our bedroom. Also critical. Getting rid of all carpeting in the house. Hard floors only. Pricey, but worth it when you can do it. Washable slipcovered couches, although I am leaning towards banning the pets from upholstered furniture at some point in the future. Leather furniture would be good. These steps help me live with 3 dogs and 4 cats. The bedroom rules were advised by my allergist as being the keys. They do indeed help immeasurably.

No pets in our bedroom. This is critical. A HEPA filter running 24/7 in our bedroom. Also critical. Getting rid of all carpeting in the house. Hard floors only. Pricey, but worth it when you can do it. Washable slipcovered couches, although I am leaning towards banning the pets from upholstered furniture at some point in the future. Leather furniture would be good. These steps help me live with 3 dogs and 4 cats. The bedroom rules were advised by my allergist as being the keys. They do indeed help immeasurably.

Here in WV, everyone has Outbacks, lol. I swear, more ppl have them than have minivans, it seems. The high clearance is super awesome with our crappy pot holed roads. :) And for the snow. Handles awesome. LOVE it. Mine is brand new, but it is very spacious. Much more leg room for my 6' tall son in the back seat than in our other cars. You can have lots of room up front and still have lots of room in the back.

Subaru Outback. Just bought one and I looooooove it. The back seat is much more spacious than you'd guess. Much more so than our mid-size sedans. I wouldn't want my 3 teens back there for a 10 hour trip, but for a couple hours, it'd be fine.

If it's a business thing, and it would cost you a significant sum or significant time (i.e, more than a few bucks or few minutes), then, no, I wouldn't go unless I had some real interest in it. If it was a free or close to free party/open house/whatever, then I would likely stop by as a support. But, no, I don't think it is cool for a friendship to require/suggest you to spend money on something you don't want. And, FWIW, our family is supported by our family business. I appreciate it when friends choose to use our business for their needs. But, I wouldn't want or expect anyone to use our business unless it met their needs. In fact, plenty of friends take their business to a competitor, and I don't take it personally. (Eventually, most of our friends have ended up being clients, but that's because they chose to do that because our business is great and, probably, they know that in fact they will get extra special attention being our friends.) Just as I wouldn't expect a friend to give me a discount at their business, I don't expect a friend to choose my business just because. And, certainly, I wouldn't expect or even want a friend to blow money on our business for no good reason. I *would* intentionally choose a friend's business over a random business. I love supporting local businesses and friends. And, I love the special service I get from friends. Recently, a friend went out on his own as a CPA (he had been a corporate CPA). I brought him some personal business (one tax return) immediately when he went out on his own, and within the first year, I also brought him our own small business returns/advising (much larger $$) as well as our other personal returns. I had been happy with our (former) CPA for years, but I gave my friend an opportunity to earn our big business because he was a friend. He did a good job, and he earned our business. Essentially, because he was a friend, I gave him a foot in the door (that I wouldn't have given anyone else). I do the same with other business matters . . . So, yes, being a friend gives you a foot in the door, a quickly returned phone call, and probably some "perks" like a cheerfully taken after-hours call and/or some other bending of rules . . . but I still expect to pay the same rates for services as anyone else, and I (generally) still charge the same rates for friends as I do for strangers. (Occasionally, we do things for very close friends for free, but that is really occasional and never asked for by those friends. In fact, if someone asked, they'd likely no longer be friends . . .)

Right. I get you. For sure. What I'm thinking is move it all out at one time. Certainly, the sooner the better. If you're packing up stuff you can do without for 4-6 months, do it ASAP and then move on. In my world, I'd be packing up a couple boxes at a time, and stacking them in the garage. Or stacking them in the corner of an empty-ish room like a large foyer or dining room. If you don't have spare space like that, then you're in more of a bind. I would get them packed up right away. I just wouldn't sweat moving them to the storage unit yet. The move should take a couple hours with a borrowed pickup or u-haul. It's the sorting/packing that takes forever. Personally, I'd do the sort/declutter/store thing ASAP, in the next couple weeks. Then I'd do the rest of it. I agree not to wait on all that stuff. 2-3 months is not much time. If storage is cheap, go ahead and get it soon if that'll make you feel better. Especially if you have a van or truck that you can haul items in batches . . . Sure, that's fine. Reducing stress is important, too, so whatever makes you feel best is probably the way to go. IMHO.

Unless the storage unit is in a super convenient location where you can swing by on your daily routine to drop a few things off, I totally think you'd be better off packing up first, then just delivering it to the storage unit right at the end. All that time lost going back and forth is going to eat into your pack/sort/store time!

Our neighborhood ended up with about 30" (28-33, depending on who is measuring it and where, lol). We live on a long state dead end road, but they rarely plow, so neighbors plowed some and then other neighbors (led by my dh and son) had 4 snow blowers doing the last 1/4 mile of our dead end road this morning. (We live at the end, of course, lol.) They did that because ds was desperate to get to robotics, and also we have to deliver dinner for robotics tonight. That robotics team is hard core, lol. Our county and state still have states of emergency in place. We are still discouraged from driving, but it's not prohibited. AWD or 4WD vehicles can make it on most main roads and secondary ones that have been plowed, but obviously, no 2wd vehicles are going to be reliable in this sort of situation, and roads that haven't yet been plowed (or snowblowed) are impassable. Most folks are hunkering down for a couple more days. Only robotics crazies or folks with jobs that require attendance are getting out today. Tomorrow, I suspect most private businesses will be back to work, just slow since many staff and clients still will be snowed in. Schools and the university and courts, etc, are closed again tomorrow . . .

For me, when I had a tooth root abscess, the pain ebbed and flowed until it was fixed. It wasn't as horrible as one would imagine, probably because we caught it early. What *I* did was ACT mouthwash rinses, warm salt water rinses, NSAIDs, and then, when I had 36-48 hrs more to go until the endodontist appointment, I hit up the leftover Lortab from DH's elective surgery 6 years ago. It hurt BAD. I would never give a narcotic to a child unless it was prescribed, though. If you can get hold of emergency service for your pediatrician or dentist, they might be able to give you better lay-person advice. TBH, if it were me in that situation, I would probably administer a low dose of whatever narcotic I had on hand if I felt confident in the correct dosage, ideally with a med they had been prescribed previously. (I.e., a narcotic cough syrup that knocks them out.) If I didn't have a good narcotic that might help alleviate pain and help them rest, I'd at least give Benadryl as a sleep aid and maximum doses of Aleve (if I had it) or ibuprofen if I didn't have Aleve. And warm salt water rinses every couple hours. And a heating pad.

Could it be a misplaced tooth growing in a weird place? If you can call your dentist and get hold of an emergency number, and they'd agree to look at a photo via text, I'd absolutely do that. Take several pictures, as good as you can get. Also, take his temperature, for real, just so you can be sure you are reporting that correctly to the dentist. You can also call your pediatrician to see if you can talk to an actual doctor there. I'd do warm salt water rinses every few hours (5 min or so) because it won't hurt and might help. I'd also do an anti-inflammatory (Advil, Aleve, etc.) on a schedule until he gets seen. If he spikes a fever, and you can't get any phone-reassurance from doctor or dentist, then, and I couldn't find someone with a really sturdy 4WD and/or plow to drive you to the ER, I'd call 911 and try to get them to take your kid to the ER. (Obviously, letting them know the degree of emergency, so if they are slammed with life threatening emergencies, they can skip yours .. . ) That's me, though, and I am a paranoid freak.

This morning, here in northern WV, we have about 2 feet or so. Haven't gone out to begin snow blowing and shoveling yet, but it's still snowing, and is expected to snow all day . . . Yep, biggest single snow fall since we moved here 11 years ago. No tracks on our road yet (small subdivision with large lots, on a state road that the state only plows if a driver gets confused or bored, so mostly remains unplowed unless one neighbor or another who has a small plow gets generous and decides to plow it) . . . but nearly all who live here have AWD or 4WD vehicles, so in every other storm, you'll see at least a handful of tracks by morning. Today, nothing. So far, knock wood, we still have all our utilities, and that's the only thing I've really been worried about. If we have utilities, we could be safe at home for weeks.

Yup. We live about 150-200 miles west of DC (in WV), and we're hunkered down. Our state and county declared emergencies preemptively. The snow hit at noon, and that was the same time when the everything shut down. Schools, local gov't, local university, all closed down through tomorrow. Dh's small business (vet hospital) closed around 2 and is closed for tomorrow as well. That's the first time we've ever closed for snow, in 11 years of ownership. We are still allowed (legally) to be on the roads, but no one is going out in this, and the local authorities are begging/pleading with people to stay off the roads to allow road crews to keep them as clear as possible. It's dumping out there. We got a "surprise" 6 inches Wednesday when we just supposed to have snow showers. That had settled to about 3 inches or so by today. So far today, we've got another 8 inches or more. My 16 yo is out snow-blowing the driveway to test out the new-to-us (loaner from a friend, actually) snow blower. That thing is a miracle. Wow, way better than shovels. If we ever have to give it back to its family, I am thinking we'll have to buy a new one. It's supposed to snow continuously for the next 20 hours or so. Estimates had been 12-18 inches, but our area generally varies wildly from estimates due to all the mountains, etc, so folks have been preparing/expecting more like 20-24, just in case. We ain't going anywhere tomorrow unless it is by snow shoe. But, Sunday, we expect to be back on the roads. :) We have to deliver dinner for 50 people for Robotics Sunday. (Note, also, the Robotics team canceled Saturday meeting/work day, which is, I believe the first time in the history of this epically committed and successful team for them to cancel a practice due to snow, let alone during this critical 6 week "build season". Although, they did have a few folks go in this morning pre-snow-arrival to do some work, lol. So, anyway, that says a lot about how major this storm is feared to be. They *never* cancel robotics. Usually, on snow days off school, the kids go in to robotics for extra work time!

FWIW, we have yet to run into this issue, despite the fact that we nearly always have questions and issues at well visits. Last week, at a kid well visit, we asked about three separate not-wellness issues. Advice/guidance/follow up care was advised for all issues. Honestly, nearly every wellness visit for us includes at least one or more "issues". I'd be pretty irked if I got a surprise bill after the fact. Seems like they need to warn you. FWIW, my gut says this is a corporate/practice decision to maximize insurance reimbursements. I wouldn't personally change doctors about this issue, but I would be irritated. FWIW, my dh is a vet, and at least half his wellness exams have issues. His fee structure used to be cheaper for wellness exams than sick exams. He would *never* up-charge "wellness" visits even though people clearly took advantage (and he was "supposed to" and he owns the practice) . . . We finally ended the issue by changing to an exam fee that is the same for both wellness and sick exams. Problem solved, lol. So, anyway, I feel sorry for the Drs working with insurance and trying to make a living. Sucks to be them, and sucks to be the patients caught in the middle.

I think that if you want to move, then dh should do a serious job search, starting today, and find a job BEFORE he chooses a voluntary layoff. 30 weeks of "free" pay sounds really great, until week 31 with no job. Then it really, really would suck. Now is the time to start hunting. If he finds something while he still has a chance to take a voluntary layoff with a cushy severance package, whoopee, free money, fun times! If he gets laid off involuntarily before he finds something, well, that sucks, but hopefully he'd have a nice severance package anyway plus/minus some ability to collect unemployment (which ain't an option if he voluntarily separates!) . . . and, anyway, at least he'd have a head start on the job hunt . . . No way would I quit/accept a layoff willingly without a job lined up. Also, he is in a MUCH stronger position applying for a new job when he already has a job. Seems ironic, but it's true. He's likely to make more money and get better offers if he is interviewing from "a position of strength" where the new company can see that he WANTS to move to their company/location as opposed to them viewing him (reasonably) as a desperate soul who may take their job because he is desperate but then again is highly likely to move on in a year or two when he finds what he REALLY wants. Companies want people to work for them who WANT to be THERE, and that is why it is such a stronger position to already be employed. Frankly, I would try not to consider that $$ that is on the table for voluntary lay off. 6-9 months salary is groovy, but it is generally not going to change your life, and if that much money is really vital to you . . . then think about how vulnerable you will be if he doesn't find a good job before the money runs out. Not worth it, IMHO. IMHO, if you had two high earning careers and could live on one wage, or dh really hated his job in the first place, or there was some urgent pressing reason to move, then, OK, go for it. But, with one wage earner, no way, no how, would I compromise his ability to find just the right job.

Many recipes can be made by just replacing regular flour with a gluten free all purpose flour. There are a zillion choices of the gluten free flours and mixes. Some make your pancakes taste like saw dust cakes. Others are perfectly delicious. The best I found was Glutino. Expensive, but worth it. Walmart has a significant line of gluten free options, pastas, mixes, etc. Good prices. Buy just one box of anything new. It may be gross or may be great.

My daughter loves her LifeProof case for her 5s. If I wanted a fully enclosed case, that's what I'd get. She's hard on her stuff, but the phone was in perfect shape when we replaced the case with an identical one after 18 months. The case was trashed by month 16, but she is VERY rough on her stuff. The phone was/is in perfect new condition. Definitely a good case. My kids have had Otterboxes for their iPods, and they were very good, too.

Hollandaise sauce. Or, my favorite, Bernaise sauce. Mmmmm, good. You could feed the occasional one to your dog, if you have a dog.

I think agreeing to stop and *be happy* with #4 might really help. The money stuff is real, and, depending on your family culture, the $ responsibilities can just get bigger and heavier as the kids hit teen and then college years. IME, it was easy to feed and take care of them when they were little, one more didn't add much more responsibility financially or practically . . . BUT, adding one more college/wedding/grad school to the pack, which will also extend the number of years of financing kid-stuff/college does indeed add substantially to the financial burden. Especially if your family (as mine has) largely defers financing our retirement until all the kid stuff is DONE, as kid/college/etc eats up such a huge portion of our discretionary spending that it makes it hard to finance retirement investments meanwhile . . . As you are also approaching retirement ages by the time your kids hit college, that responsibility can weigh heavily on the family, and particularly on the bread winner if your family has just one (as mine does). I'm sure your dh wants you to be happy, so emphasizing that one more will satisfy you and that you will be HAPPY at that point can really help. Good luck, and remember, you already have a beautiful family and a great marriage. Those are huge, huge wins. One more child would have been a delight to me, and I *know* we would have been OK and dh would have loved another child as he loves the three we have, but I *know* I am blessed by the three I have, and I *do* now really enjoy being able to focus more on my wonderful husband as our kids' needs are less immediate on an hourly basis. And, it is also nice to be able to see that we can afford to do what we need/want to do for the kids we have, and that the left-overs can be used to do fun things for our family as well as begin to get our own retirement needs met as well. If we had another kid or two in the pipeline, it'd be a LOT harder to imagine that someday dh will actually be able to retire. For many years, our retirement plan was to pretty much work until we dropped. If we'd had another couple kids, that'd still likely be our plan. Instead, we can now envision an actual retirement date. That is actually a really nice feeling, to be honest. Also, given that I am post-40 and I have seen plenty of sad outcomes of pregnancies post-40 in friends, I remind myself that dh was protecting me as well as our family when he held firm to his 'no more'. When I've cried alongside friends who lost babies, I've been thankful for dh's decision that spared me that potential agony. Besides, now I still have plenty of baby-lust left to spoil our future grandchildren with and to enthusiastically support our kids (with any babysitting, help, enthusiastic encouragement) when they have those grand babies. . . That's all to say that go for it, and I hope you are successful in both convincing dh and in conceiving, but that if, for any reason, you aren't destined to have more babies, know that peace and fulfillment is there for you anyway.

ps. I do think that if logic is going to work, then "Hey, I'm 40. If we want a baby EVER again, we need to do this now. Dr says so. Statistics say so. It's healthier for me and for the baby. Let's get going, buddy . . . Clean sheets are on the bed. Bubble bath is on the edge of the tub. Kids are in their jammies already and will be in bed early . . ." Honestly, 40 is a big tipping point. If it were me, I'd be pushing hard (I did at that age, didn't work, but, well, I tried!). Now, at 45, even though my eggs are popping out regularly every month, I realize that I myself don't truly want to take the risk of trying another pregnancy, so it's just as well that dh closed that door (surgically) many years ago. I don't want to suffer the pain of losing a baby, etc. A heart to heart talk or two should get you to a resolution. Otherwise, at some point, you will probably want to set an end-point to end your own consideration, just for your own health and wellbeing.

How about suggesting to dh that you go with your plan the way you got dd#1. Say it in a way that allows him to say, "Hey, wait, NO", but also a way that allows him to go along for the ride. Meanwhile, go shopping for lots of sexy underwear, go to bed early, etc. You might just get pg sooner rather than later. If not, you'll likely have a lot of fun. :)