Look into a VRBO. Should be nicer than a comparably priced hotel, and you'll have more room and a proper kitchen.

Oh, yes, very different . . . Remember that Utah is largely controlled/led by LDS members. I see the argument, "The LDS church is true and vitally important to the child and family . . . And if the child lives primarily with Mom and her partner . . . then poor child won't be able to participate fully in this vitally important church which we'd always agreed the child would be raised in . . . It's not me, Dad or my New Wife, who have any problem with Mom's sexuality, but . . . this church . . .

Ah, this makes sense. The new policy will add justification to ex-spouses and family court judges to make sure that a child does not have a primary residence with gay parents. Lovely. Just lovely.

Obviously, we disagree about the appropriateness of people asking others to fund their personal family choices. I think it's inappropriate. You think differently. Keep believing whatever you want. That's cool. I just disagree. The alternative view of adoption as a service to the children . . . offends me . . . but it is maybe fine if someone wants to spend their personal funds on it (assuming they are otherwise great people and will be great parents when that kid actually joins their family, since they are good human beings, they are soon cured of their odd view of the adoptive child / adoptive parent relationship) . . . but IMHO, it is not appropriate to ask others to fund such an incredibly inefficient charitable effort (and one that is questionably moral, IMHO, as it is not right, IMHO, to bring children into a home where they are viewed as beneficiaries of their new parents' largess instead of as simply children). My example of my childless friends is intended to highlight that people can choose to do good for children in the world without adopting them. And, frankly, that such efforts are most likely much more effective in actually helping children, dollar for dollar. It supports my belief that the "mission" approach is simply wrong on many levels.

I think the difference is you are looking at adoption as a mission/service to the children. I look at children as a wonderful, fulfilling, incredible, blessing to the parents who have/adopt/raise them. I know (infertile) families who never had or adopted children because of the expense. One such couple has been married 20+ years and both parents are competent, lovely, loving, educated, solidly upper-middle class, and happen to be serious church-goers who heavily support various charities. There are plenty of ways to support needy children. The 20-50+k in adoption expenses would likely save many more children around the world if those funds were donated to a tax-deductible charity doing medical/educational/social work in needy places. If someone is determined to save children, there are many other ways to do it . . . I think children deserve parents who profoundly desire to be parents of that child. I wouldn't support anyone's desire to adopt if they are just looking to do good for that child. If that's the case, there are better ways to expend your (and other people's) charitable energies/monies.

This is not an IRS site, but it looks reputable. http://adoptiontaxcredit.org/faqs/ According to this site, the credit is now a "permanent" part of the tax code with no "sunset date". (Those sunset dates are what generally get us in trouble with various credits or rules expiring and requiring new passage every few years or even every single year.) Of course, several presidential candidates are running on platforms to eliminate nearly all or even all deductions. If one of those plans actually goes through, all this could change.

https://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc607.html I believe the tax credit is up to $13,190 per child. It appears to be "non refundable", which means you have to be paying federal taxes to benefit. It phases out around a household income of 200k, so, essentially, to benefit, your family needs to fall in the middle income bracket that is paying some federal taxes but not earning over 200k. I think. (I'm not a lawyer or CPA and have not adopted. I just pay a lot of taxes, lol.) If you are planning on adopting multiple children, it seems to me it'd be smart to do just one per tax year to maximize tax benefits. :) It looks like you can spread expenses over two tax years in some circumstances.

See, I think this is AWESOME. IMHO, it's very different from asking for cash.

I think it's ridiculous. Kids are expensive. If a family has an unexpected desperate medical or other need, then, personally, I am all-in on doing anything -- begging, borrowing, pleading, humiliating, etc, -- that you need to do to help your kid. I would spare no shame to get my kid the help s/he needed. In fact, it makes me smile donating to the occasional GoFundMe for an accident/illness victim that I know in any round about way. Life's hard. Unexpected expenses suck. I'm happy to spend my occasional pizza money on a GoFundMe instead to smooth a bumpy patch for a family. Sure. BUT, as adults, functional enough to raise children and choose to raise MORE, then I think it's really bad form to go begging for money to pay for that kid. Get a second or third job for a year. Sell your second car. Sell your jewelry. Skip vacations. Cancel cable. Whatever. If you have no spare room in your budget to trim expense to raise the funds to adopt that kid . . . then you should NOT be getting another kid (on purpose) by any means, IMHO. If you have no spare room in your budget, and are not resourceful and self-reliant enough to fund your own adoption . . . then you should NOT be taking on responsibility for a child. What happens when that child has expensive medical or educational or psychological problems? How will the new parents pay for the kid's needs? I NEVER donate to the "Mission Trip", "Adoption" or similar funding requests. To me, those are things that folks should fund themselves and asking others to pay for discretionary expenses is bad form. (Feel free to ask at your church if you are going on a church mission, but don't ask outside of YOUR church, IMHO.) I don't ask you to pay for my kid's music lessons and I paid for my own birth expenses . . . even when I was poor and had a home birth that insurance didn't cover . . . don't ask me to fund your babies or trips or whatever. I see few of these request, since my friend circle doesn't typically do that. However, I nearly ALWAYS cheerfully buy from/etc kids who are working on their own to raise funds for trips, goals, teams, etc. Sell me your overpriced wreaths, come rake my yard at overpriced rates, etc. Show me someone who is working to self-fund some reasonable goal and I'm all in. (This totally excludes the idiotic school fund raisers. I don't do those . . .)

If they are your employees, and you're doing it as their boss, then cash is king. We do cash bonuses/gifts for all employees. If they are co-workers or anyone else, then I think cash is lame. However, if you are their supervisor but not employer, then it is a gray zone. I haven't been there before (we own our business). . . if you are their supervisor, then I think you can go either way. Cash/gift card if the actual employer doesn't do holiday bonuses. Cute nice gift if the employer does cash. Either way is good, I think. Just remember you are setting a precedent! You WILL be expected to hand out cash every year if you do it this year . . . So be careful! FWIW, when dh worked as a vet for other practices (before he owned his own), he never gave things to the other staff/lay staff/etc. Bringing in donuts or bagels is as far as he went. He left it to the owners to give holiday or other gifts/bonuses. We never thought of doing anything different. . . (Occasional food was definitely appreciated by the support staff, though.)

Try "Working Hands" (available on Amazon, etc.) It really does work wonders. Dh is a veterinarian (washing hands and scrubbing for surgeries . . . over and over all day) and also works around the house hard on his days off, so in the winter his hands SUFFER. I always put good quality lotions by every sink at the hospital and also on his desk . . . and that helps a lot . . . but the Working Hands is the next step up and is very effective. So, I'd put good quality heavy lotion (Curel, Eucarin, etc.) by every sink in the house and by her bed. Then give her a thing of Working Hands to use at least before bed and in the morning after washing up. Also, pure sesame oil or coconut oil (or other similar natural oils) work very well as general moisturizers for all over skin. You can add a bit to bath water and/or rub down with it after a bath. Good luck!

ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES. This is how people die. They have a reaction or a few over the years, manage them, and then BOOM, they die. A family friend died that way when I was a teen. This is why people with anaphylactic type reactions (airway involvement, etc.) must have an EpiPen within reach.

Nature's Miracle works great for getting pet urine stink out of fabrics and carpet, so I'd imagine it might work.

I'd talk to your primary care physician about options including perhaps a low dose of Xanax or maybe consulting a therapist to learn how to desensitize him. Since he's had these sorts of issues for so long, it may take some work to figure out how to get him to cooperate and relax. I wouldn't continue to man handle him if you can avoid it, because eventually he'll become too big to manhandle, and dentistry, etc will become an issue. A cousin of mine was like that when she was little, and eventually she simply couldn't get dental care . . . it became a very serious and expensive dental problem once she was an adult. Each time you fight him, it probably makes it worse . . . I'd go ahead and seek professional advice.

Here is a link to the new policies: http://www.scribd.com/doc/288685756/Changes-to-LDS-Handbook-1-Document-2-Revised-11-3-15-28003-29 Of particular shock value, to me, is that those found to have committed forcible rape, sexual abuse, attempted murder, and a list of other offenses including cohabiting with a same gender partner MAY be subject to a disciplinary council. However, those living a same gender marriage WILL BE subject to a disciplinary council and are apostate. This list is much, much shorter. So, marrying your same gender partner is much worse than forcible rape, attempted murder, sexual abuse . . . and a list of other crimes. Wow, just wow. This is so much worse than I had imagined. I feel so sad for my LDS friends.

Seems like a drying rack in the master bedroom makes the most sense, assuming most of the laundry is from the master bedroom and/or the kids' rooms are nearby. That way you aren't making an extra trip somewhere. I have a 3ft hanging rod above my washer and dryer (cabinets on either side) that is super handy for hanging things, but I only hang dry delicates (which we do produce a lot of due to work out clothes), but anyway, if you have room to put up a closet-style hanging rod above the washer/dryer, that would give you loads of space. A nifty device I have that I got from my mom is a hanging thingy with a square, about 12 inches square, of clips to hang stuff off of. It's super handy for hang drying things that don't fit on hangars well and it is also very compact. I use it for running socks, swim skirts, running shorts or swim trunks, and even the occasional bra that I don't want to bother hanging on a hangar. Mine is pretty much like this one but mine only has clips around the perimeter (which is plenty unless you are drying socks or very small things). Mine isn't this exact one, though, and I have no idea where it came from, so do your own research for a good brand. http://www.amazon.com/Aojia-Hanger-Clothes-Drying-45x32x45cm/dp/B00SE0TPZ4/ref=sr_1_15?ie=UTF8&qid=1446945073&sr=8-15&keywords=drying+rack+clips

Thanks for the confirmation. Such a confusing theology.

OK, I did some more googling and found that, if the widow does not have her prior sealing canceled, then she and ALL her children (including any from a subsequent marriage) remain sealed to her first, sealed spouse. Thus the need to have her earlier sealing canceled so that her new husband can be sealed to his children and his wife . . . Is this correct, LDS folks?

Very comfy. We've had them for about 7 years in the TV room about about 4 years in the living room. They're all still super comfy and in great shape, despite being heavily used 24/7 by my gaggle of family members and dogs. They're all on their first set of covers, too, surprisingly enough, despite being washed zillions of time. Love, love, love.

I have Ektorp couches in my TV room and my living room. :) The only differences being that the one in the living room was purchase a couple years later, so they have a little different shades of beige covers. I don't think it's weird at all. :) And they go find with the light-blue/gray walls in each room (a little darker in the living room). Love my Ektorp couches. I'd get more if I needed more couches. :)

I am not LDS but have studied it a good bit. From my understanding, a living woman cannot be sealed to more than one man. In order to be sealed to a new husband, she must request her prior sealing be canceled (whether she is now divorced or widowed). Once she is dead, however, according to more recent changes in policy, she can be re-sealed to multiple husbands. A man widow can be resealed to new wive(s) without canceling prior sealing(s). (Presumably, this is because it is consistent with the concept that men can have multiple wives in the afterlife.) My understanding is that this is because LDS theology currently rejects plural marriage in life but embraces it in the afterlife. So far as who children are sealed to in complicated marriage and remarriage situations, from everything I can determine, the official teaching is that "It's complicated. God will figure it out." I think a look at the D&C indicates that some form of plural marriage will be involved in that working it out in the afterlife. So, anyway, I think the teachings are clear that a living woman cannot be sealed to more than one man, so any earlier sealing must be cancelled for her to be sealed to a new spouse. What happens to the sealing to her prior husband and/or children who were sealed to him . . . leave that up to God, I suppose. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mormonism_and_polygamy

Aww, thanks. I do, too, lol. I felt very conflicted when I made the decision to leave my mom's side that day, but I felt like my kid needed something good to remember from what had long been a birthday he'd longed for but now was quite tragic. At the time, I felt like I was just doing it for him, and taking away from Mom, but now I feel a bit differently. I am glad I did it, because it does give me a really nice memory to hold on to of her dying, not just of my son's birthday. It was so appropriate of a thing to do because of the kind of mom my mom was. It just came to me that morning when I woke up on my boy's long awaited birthday, with no plans of anything fun at all (all party plans had already been canceled) . . . and although I had mixed feelings about it at first, as time goes on, my feelings are increasingly positive, as I do feel like it honored mom and it makes me happy to think of that.

female, pizza

I recently finished a remodel/addition project that essentially completely rebuilt and enlarged our home. It is great to be able to choose everything just the way you want it. It is also awful, because inevitably I choose the better quality materials and more craftsmanlike details . . . adding to cost infinitely. I can't imagine EVER doing a major remodel again while living in the home. I can imagine doing a new build, so long as I lived within 20 min for daily visits, had LOTS of time available to manage, and had deep, deep pockets. NEVER EVER would I start a project unless I could spend 50-100% over budget without actually being financially ruined. Likewise, I'd allow at least twice the estimated time. Our particular project cost about twice the estimate that was in place at ground breaking (and that is after excluding the "add ons" I could have skipped) and took four times as long as projected. We had unique circumstances, and we managed to survive and finance the work, so I can't regret our beautiful home . . . but if the costs/time over runs would have ruined us, it would be a different story . . .