:grouphug:
Your dd needs to behave in class, but I would be sure to only allow your dd, to be held accountable for her actions in class, not any others. She isn't the first to be loud, boisterous, disrupt, talk and not raise her hand, but she needs to learn. kwim? She's still a work in progress, learning, but she shouldn't be belittled in front of her classmates.
That conversation would have flummoxed me to have, but do regroup and don't allow her to spoil your dd's experience in class. Imo, she is way out of line to make those generalizations, and project them onto your dd, and homeschoolers in general. Lots of people from public school to homeschool fit the criteria she mentioned, and your dd was simply being 12;).
You may need to talk with someone in leadership, because my feelings are the teacher will continue.