I’d talk to the boy- partly because he’s an adult and partly because if his relationship w mom is rocky then telling her isn’t going to fix the situation. You have a better chance of reaching him. You’ll come across as caring- you care for your girls, and you care for him. People make mistakes, and him hearing from you that you still care might go a long way if he’s feeling like his mom doesn’t care. Beyond that, do you think it was a one time thing or has it been ongoing? The teen years are a thrill ride for sure.

This. I hosted Thanksgiving and my 91 year old father showed up clearly sick, coughing like crazy. I was the only one who was irritated by it. My sisters and their families didn’t care at all, and to be fair, I don’t think anyone got sick after. But other families have different takes on illness and in the op scenario at least the op wouldn’t come, and probably not any from that family unit. Ya gotta know your audience.

I would also not wash it until it’s finished. I know that proceeding with a dirty top seems wrong, but it’s probably your best bet.

Wrap gifts Buy one more gift for dh and ds Bake Do all the things needed to host Christmas dinner for my sisters, their families, and my dad. I have done all the decorating except put up the tree, which is sitting in a box in the living room. It’s the one thing dh and ds need to do, and I’m not saying a word. I’m shocked they haven’t done it yet, as normally it would have been up weeks ago. But I’m doing this new thing where I’m not directing what we do every day. I’m letting them know what they need to do and leaving it to them to decide when. I’m surprisingly chill about it, which is So not me. Tomorrow I’m hosting a cookie baking day with my sisters. First time in more than 30 years that we’ve all lived close enough to do this.

Deviled eggs? Not healthy but usually a big hit. A bowl of cut fruit is popular, too.

We do not send anniversary cards or gifts to our married kids. Like mentioned above, unless it’s a big milestone we leave it for the couple to celebrate. Having said that, if one of our married kids was struggling we might send money for a dinner out. I’m probably an outlier though. I feel like I can barely keep up with remembering birthdays for kids, spouses, grandkids…

Our grandkids range from 9 to 16, and it’s quite hard to make dollar amounts even without it looking like we went wild on the younger ones. We don’t buy many things, usually two for each grand, but the two teens know that if they want something special we’ll gladly do it. Raising four kids on a pastor’s salary is hard, and we’re happy to let the teens choose something that really makes their heart sing. This year one wanted a specific pair or hightop Converse and the other wanted a specific mini backpack and a certain set of art pens. Inexpensive for us two retired folks but out of range for a family stretched by high grocery costs and other expenses. I have moved to sending money to the two kids who live far away, and it’s been a win-win. Unless they tell me something they want, it’s really easier to send money and enjoy hearing how they used it. One kid is going to visit her in-laws in California over the holidays and used her money to buy a night tour of Alcatraz.

The play food my grands liked best were the kinds you could use to play restaurant. So like hamburgers with toppings, they can ‘take your order’ and make your burger adding a plastic (or felt) pickle, cheese, tomato, etc. pizzas that they can serve you a slice on a plate, etc. ‘Regular fake food was only good when playing store with a cash register, and they didn’t do that much. But play restaurant, or mommy making dinner for her family? A good way for kids to play but also have some adult interaction in the process. A winner here for years. ETA: the ice cream set mentioned above was a HUGE hit for a long time.

Stuff You Missed in History Class did a nice episode on Heddy Lamar in 2011. Worth a listen, for sure…cool story.

I remember an episode of The Waltons featured that, though I can’t recall all the details. I assumed it was from the region.

My nephew (45) misunderstood it as a child and thought it was Farmer John cheese. So that’s what we call it, in house only.

During Covid I looked up the house in California we lived in when I was born in 1961. I about fell over when I saw the current estimated value even though it was a tiny house. When we left it was because Dad’s employer was doing huge layoffs and we were grateful our house had an assumable loan. The people who bought our house assumed the loan and gave my parents enough cash for us to drive to Dad’s new job in Connecticut.

I don’t drink coffee or alcohol, and no tobacco use. However, I do buy Coke Zero when it’s $3.99/12 and drink one daily. Plus I buy two large teas at CFA every week. My chocolate consumption is a bigger splurge for me than my drinks. I don’t mind the $ spent on these items…they bring me joy.

Never occurred to me to cook the macaroni ahead of time- thanks for that idea! We like my baked Mac and cheese the day after it’s baked but fresh out of the oven it’s much more creamy and we don’t want to miss that. It making noodles ahead?! Awesome.

For me it’s all the dishes that accumulate…that’s what stresses and sucks the fun out of hosting. I’m a huge list person and I have things every day this week that I’ll do to get ahead. For instance, I have pie dough made and chilling. One of the Thursday pies is lemon meringue so I just finished zesting the lemons and juicing them, putting the amount I need in a small jar. So I was able to wash the micro plane, cutting board, juicer, and knife today. When I make the pie I won’t have to measure the juice or zest. Keeps me from making mistakes. For the next few days I’ll do bits and pieces of the prep work, in small spurts between other things. It’s not less time than doing it all on Thursday but spreading out the time on my feet with hands washing dishes and such means Thursday will be easier.

It depends. if the drive is long you probably won’t want to go very often. Also, depends on how you eat and where you usually buy your groceries. If you buy from Aldi or another value grocery, Costco is going to be much more expensive. For us, it’s worth it because Publix is our usual grocery store and Costco gives us even better quality for a lower price. But back when we were shopping at Walmart for groceries, Costco was just not a good deal for us. We have a chest freezer and a large pantry, and that makes stocking up easier. Without enough storage you might hate all the Costco size things shoved everywhere. Do you have a friend who is a member? I tagged along w my sister a few times to get a feel for whether it was worth it for us.

Love the gown idea! Such a good update. A nice framed pic of her and her son in the venue with her gown would be a lovely souvenir for her to remember the evening.

This would be my dream Thanksgiving! It embraces the spirit of the holiday. Alas, my family is a cranberry sauce from a can and crescent rolls from a can kind of family so I don’t even bother. Enjoy!!

I’m so sorry.

Stuffed shells- 3 varieties-meat, cheese, veggie. I’ll make two flavors of focaccia. A salad. Pies to be named later, as T’giving week is Pie Week in our house and there’s a pie made every day. I’ll make two on T’giving, just not sure which yet. Appetizers are laid back, including deviled eggs, sausage balls, roasted pecans, and other stuff to be decided on when I see what’s on sale this week. We’re hosting, and there will be 15 of us. They voted and shells won. Nobody voted for traditional Turkey dinner.

Like yours, my dh will gladly do anything I ask. But the mental load is the hard part for me, and it’s what sucks the joy out of the holidays. We just had a discussion of what are the important things to include this year, and he’s working really hard to make it easier on me. But I’ve been carrying the mental load since we started having kids and the oldest just turned 40…and it’s just super hard for him to learn to carry a load he never gave a thought to.

I’m putting a skinny tree in my guest half bath, which is actually the one I use on a regular basis. We host for Thanksgiving and Christmas and I enjoy decorating for that. Anyway, these are a few wool felt ornaments I have made this month. Embroidery is NOT my strong suit!

In the past week I finished Think of Me by Frances Liardet. Sad, but a very good read. I just finished The Wish by Nicholas Sparks. Also so very sad, but I really enjoyed it. Currently reading a short book about a murder in our county in 1964, a killing of a black man by KKK members. Gosh, I think I need to seek some happy books to read.

I want to swap places with dh from now until after Christmas. Let him carry the mental load of planning and executing Thanksgiving and Christmas, including gift buying/wrapping/mailing. He could handle the logistics of doing our family traditions, choosing and planning activities for the season. He can meal plan and then buy and prep the food, and also communicate w the family about who is bringing what to each meal. We’re hosting both Thanksgiving and Christmas meals because my family wants to do it but nobody wants to host, I’ll be him. I’ll handle writing half the Christmas cards and help decorate the tree. I’ll help clean for guests, as long as I’m given a list. This is not a slam on him- it’s just that I’m tired of all the work that goes into the holidays and would love to be him. I have suggested skipping Christmas and going to the beach (every year for the past five years) but so far it hasn’t happened.

https://www.food.com/amp/recipe/americas-test-kitchen-beef-tacos-314504 This has been our favorite for a while. Very tasty, and it actually tastes good instead of just salty like using the packets tasted.