You’re right that it’s not possible for you to change him. Is the site manager the same as boss lady? I know your boss doesn’t want to confront him or take your side, but I’d absolutely meet w her and lay out the worst of what you’ve posted above and tell her you really want to come back but you don’t feel valued when he is allowed to treat you the way he does. And ask if YOU did these things would you be allowed to get away with it. It’s a valid discussion to have while you’re deciding whether to come back next season. It stinks that he’s ruining a job you enjoy.

I only notice lingering cooking smells if I go outside for a while and come back in. Most of the time it doesn’t bother me. If it does I open the kitchen door and let some fresh air in.

This week our grands were talking about how great the parades were where we lived in Illinois. They especially loved the Father’s Day parade because June is dairy month and the parade participants threw good stuff like cartons of chocolate milk and cheese sticks. What they didn’t love but definitely remember is near the end of every parade there the VietNow group walked and one person was always in shackles and rags portraying a Vietnam POW. I appreciate their dedication to not forgetting those who didn’t come home, but it sure is a sobering way to end a parade.

Early this year we were coming home late at night and a car in front of us hit a pedestrian. We had to swerve to keep from hitting the poor guy. We pulled over to call 911 and try to help until police arrived. I was relating how awful it was to a friend and he asked if I took any pictures. No, you idiot! A guy died! Another is traumatized because he hit the guy. People can be awful. And I agree- don’t show me awful stuff just to enjoy my reaction.

If you’re on Instagram, I follow a girl named Serena (insta handle is Sewrena_ and she’s a vintage pattern collector. She wears vintage clothes that she makes almost all the time…it’s pretty neat. She might not buy them but I bet she’d put them to good use if they were gifted to her.

Our grandkids’ doc charges a fee for every form if it’s not requested when a prescription is originally prescribed. Boy grand has a migraine med and the form was ‘free’ last year when the med was prescribed but there was a fee to write one for this school year since of course they can’t use last year’s note. That was pretty annoying. Oldest grand (16) had cramps and a headache one day and I was at her house because her folks were away for a few days. The school tried to call dd to get permission to give grandgirl a Tylenol but she had no cell reception so Anna asked them to call me. They first had to look to see if I was a valid emergency contact, then did call to ask me. The school nurse asked me to prove who I was. Over the phone. I told her to look at Anna’s phone-she’d been texting me about the whole thing. Took more than an hour from when Anna texting about feeling bad and getting the stupid Tylenol.

We buy the groceries but ds buys his own snacks and drinks. He works at a restaurant I love and often brings me their homemade salad dressings, salads, rolls, and other yummies, either to add to our meals or he brings whole meals sometimes. It more than evens out the one meal a day he usually eats here. Toiletries- I buy toilet paper for his bathroom but he provides the rest. He uses my supplies to clean his bathroom. We provided insurance while dh was working because it didn’t cost more to have him on our policy. Once dh retired ds took over his own. He pays his own car insurance and cell phone. ‘We have no minor children, but ds doesn’t often travel with us. We’ve planned trips together but it’s not assumed that if we are going somewhere with the grands or even one of his siblings that he’s invited. If ds cooks for himself in the kitchen he cleans it up. Apart from that, dh and I clean the rest of the shared spaces. Ds handles trash collection and much of the yard care. I think it would be very different if we still had minor kids living at home and/or we were still working, though.

Youngest still lives at home and it’s a win-win for both us and him. We’re retired, and he works full time, so he’s gone most of 5 days a week. Whether he’e here or not we all do our own things, as we each have hobbies and interests we pursue. We’re all introverts and are quiet, so having him here isn’t a problem. We show each other mutual respect, and thus it doesn’t feel like a parent/child relationship, more like good friends. We let each other know when we’re going to be gone for dinner, or if we’re going to be going on a trip. We share our strengths- he is young and takes on some of the routine tasks that we don’t like doing in our 60’s. I cook most of our meals so making enough for him is very little additional work. I like having someone here to take care of the place when we travel. He likes having company since living alone can be lonely.

I’m sorry it makes you sad. That stinks. Honestly, I’d very much prefer dh take on some of my mental load than to fix my water bottle every day. I can refill my own water bottle. How about taking on some of the bajillion things I have to mentally keep track of and have to do? It’s almost November…time for homeowner’s renewal. Do we (me!) need to shop around? Also time to hire our lawn treatment service for next year. Christmas is coming…time to start shopping for kids and grandkids…property taxes due soon…time to choose and sign up for ACA coverage, which means I need to estimate next year’s income. 4 family birthdays in the next two months. And so on.

I don’t drink anything in the morning except ice water, but dh washes my water bottle every morning and it’s filled with ice and fresh water by the time I get up. He also makes sure I have at least one Coke Zero in the fridge so when it’s time for my daily drink it’s cold.

Same here- dh and I never thought our moms would pass before our dads, but that’s what happened. My dad had several heart attacks before I turned 20 and yet here he is, nearly 92, living independently. I think it’s going to be interesting moving forward- our parents smoked for years, 3 had years of food insecurity as kids, and my folks drank. Dh and I have never had those issues. Then again, dh and I have had much easier lives, less physical work than our parents…and that might be what hurts us. Who knows, ya know?

My very southern mother in law always had salad at T’giving but also called it ‘lettuce salad’ or ‘garden salad’ because there were other ‘salads’ on the table, like potato salad, jello salad, etc. The green salad was rarely eaten.

We do Italian because it’s easier than a full T dinner. I can make the shells/lasagna/manicotti the day before and enjoy T day. Nobody in my extended family really likes turkey and everything else we normally eat several times a year anyway…just not all at once. Dh grew up with Mac and cheese as a standard at Thanksgiving and his mom used one cup of dried macaroni whether it was the four original family members or the 10 it was when I joined the family. As the family grew the big Thanksgiving memory was whether you’d get any Mac and cheese or it would all be gone before it was passed your way. Weird as it sounds, it’s their fond memory.

John Denver was the first concert I ever went to, in Atlanta in 1975. My dad drove 14 year old me and my friend and waited at the Omni International til the show was over. Quite memorable because it was one of two childhood memories I have where my dad did something like that for me.

I really loved his music when I was a teen in the 1970’s. You feeling sad when you listen to his music makes sense since as a teen I had All The Emotions. And I loved the freedom he had- living in the mountains was my idea of freedom and nature was my escape. These days I love hearing one of his songs on a playlist or on the radio. His voice is lovely.

You’re not being unreasonable at all. You’re doing your job, but he isn’t doing his. Nobody likes to fight, but you shouldn’t feel bad about your position on the issue.

As far as we know, none in our household have had it. Dh, ds, or me. We test whenever we have been exposed or when we’ve had a cold or other illness, but so far no positive test results. But realistically, we probably have had asymptomatic Covid at least once.

I used to be the same way, but earbuds have totally changed it for me. Something about having the voice directly in my ears with no outside distraction has really resonated with me. I don’t like listening to a podcast on a speaker, with dh also listening. I find it so distracting. Yup, I’m a weirdo.

Some are fine without the video but with others I definitely miss out doing just the audio. Some things I don’t care about like when they talk about their outfit or whatever, but others are showing photos or documents relevant to the podcast and that makes it more difficult to follow. I guess I’m more of a radio than a tv person. The biggest thing for me is that I use podcasts while I’m doing something that doesn’t lend itself to being able to watch at the same time. I’m sure others love the video- it’s getting super popular.

For true crime/mystery, Someone Knows Something with David Ridgen is excellent. He is such a compassionate person and the stories he tells are compelling. It’s from the CBC, and well produced. Along that line is Finding Cleo, which is such a sad story but a good intro to what happened to Canadian indigenous families. Undisclosed is good if you’re interested in wrongful conviction cases. (Look beyond the Adnan Syed case…they did plenty more that are interesting) Can anyone explain why so many podcasts are jumping to video format? I listen while gardening or exercising or doing housework. I don’t want to WATCH a podcast! But the only explanation I’ve heard (from one of my favorite podcasts) is the video format reaches more people and thus more sponsors. Not a fan.

@TravelingChris is spot on about light with integrated bulbs. They are awful. If you look at specs for a light and they don’t mention what bulbs it uses, that’s a big clue. We’ve had good luck finding what we want on Build.com. They have a good selection of lights that aren’t integrated. For our kitchen we found some photos of kitchens we liked and then looked at build to find similar lights. Honestly we’ve had the same experience with countertops, tiles, and bathroom renovations. The stores just say ‘what do you want’ instead of guiding us. It’s so weird-in the past they’d ask about our style, colors we liked, price range, etc. and then show us some things and offer suggestions. I understand wanting you to know where you want your fixtures, but why do they need to know the specific fixtures before doing the cabinet removal?

Could be. I have no known heart disease but dh does. His cardiologist wants his kept under 70, though in the beginning he wanted it kept under 100.

That’s a good heads up- thanks for mentioning it. Some of our docs use LabCorp but others use Quest.

Is 130 the typical upper limit of ok for LDL? LabCorp processes my blood work and their scale shows over 99 is elevated. (which annoyed me because mine was 100. Grrr) Yay for his triglycerides! If I even LOOK at a banana split on the menu my levels get high.

I’m so sorry about that, Dawn. I actually didn’t know your bank would reimburse you- when my elderly dad fell for a gift card scam his credit card didn’t reimburse him. The scammer had an image of your friend’s driver’s license? that is scary!