All I can think when you say you won't have a fridge is processed foods, and that's expensive. If you think you can pay off a fridge in 12 months before any interest charges, that is probably the way to go. You will need a new fridge anyway and you will not waste money on expensive processed food or food that goes bad quickly because it is not refrigerated. Or as others have mentioned, have your DH get over his fear of used fridges. You have never moved into a house or apartment that included appliances? I have, just cleaned out the fridge with some bleach water before moving my own stuff in. Seemed fine to me and I'm a bit of a clean freak when it comes to used stuff.

:iagree: I think this is all true in my case. I don't know how many times a messy kitchen has prompted us to eat out, and that's no good for our diets or from a financial standpoint. I've also found that when the house needs a thorough cleaning, I'm more likely to want to go on a day-long roadtrip, just to get away. Waste of time and money. So if I just spend a few hours cleaning I no longer feel the need to flee and I feel much happier. And I think just being in a messy space takes up a lot of mental energy. It makes me feel tired, which makes me want to just veg out.

I don't know. I'm an atheist, but I would generally say that my disbelief was not a choice, but many other choices I made led to the conclusion that I do not believe God exists. As others have described, I was raised Catholic, was exposed to many different religions (through my own volition, I WANTED to find a religion that fit). Then my studies led me to pursue science and become a critical thinker, and I believed in the scientific method, and that is based on empiricism. And I also observed a lot of stuff I didn't agree with in the name of religion at the same time, and by that point my mind was made up. I think many people are raised in a particular religion and never really choose that religion, it's just how they're raised and that's what they believe. That's why I find it offensive when religious folks try to tell me I just haven't been properly enlightened, and that's all it would take to bring me back to the right side of things. Sorry but I really believe I have followed a long road to get to where I am today. I think I am probably more generally enlightened about religion than many of these people who try to convert me.

:iagree: And this can change at different points in your life. I once lost a lot of weight on my own, by following a diet plan from a book then just modifying it once I "got" it. But I was single and was accountable to no one. Now with a family, I found I need more support and Weight Watchers is great for keeping me accountable. It reminds me to do the things I know I should do but are easy to put off. Same with exercise. Forget when the "best" time or what the "best" exercise is, it's what you will do when you will do it.

:iagree: Not only can depression CAUSE physical symptoms, there is a very real chemical reaction going on in your body that CAUSES the depression. This is why antidepressants work, they restore the chemical imbalance. It's not always just a matter of just being sad, it's not something you can just talk yourself out of. There is no shame in looking into antidepressants. It's the same as someone with cancer taking chemotherapy. Really. And there is such a thing as "walking depression." Not all depression is completely debilitating. I've managed to stay really productive during times when I was most depressed (I had been very depressed for a year give or take before my initial diagnosis, but I still managed to live my life and do well at my job and everything. I just cried a lot in my office alone and didn't sleep.) I have had a few random days where I went on crying jags, but it was just a day and not a long-term bed-ridden kind of thing. This most recently happened last fall when I decided to go off my antidepressants because I thought I was over it. Turns out I wasn't. Things are much better now that I'm back on Zoloft.

:iagree: Just went through this. On the way out I opted out of the scanner and waited for my pat down, but it never occurred. That was actually a little worrying to me. On the way home I was subjected to the full thing. I do not like being touched by strangers, I mean I REALLY do not like it, but it was no big deal. I was asked if I wanted to go somewhere private and declined. The screener explained every little thing she was doing. I did not feel like I was being molested at all. I really don't get what the OP's husband thinks is happening during these pat downs, it's really not invasive and it is in public so it's not like the screener can take advantage.

I get that, and it is not fair, but I still wonder why the mother in this case wasn't forthcoming if her life was in such immediate danger and she had a simple, valid explanation for why she gave birth yet there was no baby there with her.

Which is probably part of why she was convicted of 4 counts of providing false information.

Yeah, she's not a good person, that's for sure. But I wasn't on the jury and I don't know all the evidence they saw. I remember seeing something on Dateline or something similar where they ran a practice trial and that jury also voted not guilty. The pretend jury members basically said they felt she was guilty but the evidence just wasn't there. They weren't happy to vote not guilty, they were just doing as instructed based on the information in front of them. I suspect that's the case with the real trial as well. I just don't know but I believe the jury did the best job they could. I wouldn't have wanted to be on that trial.

Did she tell the hospital where the baby was ASAP? Was she trying to keep it a secret? You make it sound like the mother was being neglected because she had a homebirth. How would the hospital know that was the case unless she told them? Don't forget that unfortunately, there are such things as dumpster babies. It seems unthinkable to a message board full of caring parents but there are in fact people who give birth then ditch their babies, leaving them to die. So the mother was in a dire situation, but for all the hospital knew the baby was too. I don't understand why the mother would withhold the basic information that she had a homebirth, and that the baby was being cared for by the father. That doesn't make sense to me at all, especially if this smart woman felt like she didn't do anything wrong by exercising her right to give birth at home.

Need to relocate for a better job opportunity (this has been on my mind lately!)

I also think you did the right thing. But I have a question...what else could she do this morning if she was heading right for the gas station when she ran out of gas? A half mile really isn't that far and she probably really thought she would make it. This is a good lesson for her regardless, but I also wonder if there was anything else she could have done to prevent this from happening at the point where you reminded her to fill up.

I still think people really are preoccupied, probably more than you think. Not everyone of course, some people really are just jerks. But I know sometimes I am so tired and just stare into space...if someone is smiling at me I wouldn't even notice and they would think I was choosing not to respond back to them. And there are times when I'm walking or shopping and I'm just in my own world, thinking about what I need to get or do next. Or I feel self-conscious and don't want interaction. It's not that I want to be rude to someone, I just don't want the attention. I would think it IS worse now than it used to be because we have so many more obligations these days. But I don't think that means people are ruder, necessarily.

That's tough. I don't think you can or should try to change him. Being an introvert is a basic character trait and as an introvert I have found that extraverts (like my big sister!) think there is something wrong with me. There is not! I am a thoughtful person and I laugh a lot and I open up to people when I feel safe doing so. In return, I have not been burned by tons of people I thought were friends. But I do get being afraid of your son missing out on opportunities. Why do you think he has a knack for piano or sports? I ask because even though I was very shy, I also sought out any extra-curricular activity I could as a kid. I liked to learn new things. I was in band from 4th grade on and Girl Scouts and by the time I was in high school I was in so many clubs. Most were academic-based (probably more loaded up with introverts than many other opportunities) but I still had fun and felt comfortable. I was able to overcome any shyness because I was just so interested in what these activities had to offer. So, are you sure your son WANTS to play piano or sports? Are there other activities he is more interested in? Once he finds some interest in something he will probably start to feel more safe and see his network grow.

I am a low self-monitor and I'm an introvert so usually I just sit back and try not to roll my eyes too much.

Ah, thank you. But (for those who are offended)...since you DO have to pay into it, does it offend you to think you deserve to see it back when it's your turn?

Quote: Originally Posted by Remudamom Someone else agreed that the idea offends them, and I'd also like to know why. I don't get it, it's not welfare. We get notices every year from the SSA saying what our benefits would be, given what we've paid in at this point in our lives. Why is it offensive to expect to get that money, especially when we are reminded annually that it is coming?

We changed to bagless about a year ago because we could not find the right bags for our vacuum anywhere. Target, Wal-Mart, Sears, Amazon, none of them had it. It wasn't a really old vacuum either.

This is what I was thinking. My concentration may not be great today but I didn't see an actual description of the question in the article. If it was multiple choice with 4 options, then BY CHANCE 25% of the students would get the answer right. It's possibly a scoring error (test banks are notorious for this) and most of the students actually did pick the correct answer, with only 2% picking this very obviously wrong answer choice. I would hope this would be investigated before letting the media make a big deal about it...there are testing experts who look at individual items for this sort of thing. And if they did poorly on this item, what about the rest? If no other item had such a low correct answer rate then that would again suggest a scoring error. If it was an open-ended response then I wonder how the scoring was done. Were actual people doing the scoring? There is software available for scoring now. Were they just looking for key words/phrases? Were students getting at the correct idea without using the "right" words?

Yeah! Hey, don't tell my husband this story, I want to completely milk my next delivery. :)

I remember having some back pain during mine too. I think it's just because of laying on your back for so long, and it's not a very soft surface, either. And every symptom gets worse with each pregnancy.

I can't answer all those questions for you but I can tell you that when I was in 7th and 8th grade I did a "field school" experience for 5 days each time. I was probably like your son in that I would get a little homesick but I think that would be expected of anyone that age who has not been away from home that much. I think part of growing up is learning to be away from your safety net (in safe situations). And I don't remember there being any parent chaperones when I went on those trips, just teachers. I had a great time, and it wasn't anywhere as cool as Disney!

I would just call the school directly and not trust what some random guy said. Especially when some random guy may have a beef because he was not accepted based on his score and may have misinterpreted the reason he was rejected.

Is there any way you can get a hotel for the night and just have DH drive out tomorrow on his own? ETA: Oops, sorry, didn't know there were two pages to this thread!

She actually did ask about it sooner. In the magazine article she discussed how she sought evaluations and they kept coming back without significant problems. I guess this could have contributed to her sense that there was nothing "wrong" with her child, so it was okay to dislike her? I don't know. Eventually, when she got the diagnosis, she felt guilty for how she treated her kid so I guess that's something.