I'm wondering if he didn't actually have his share of the money to send you and that is why he kept stalling and making excuses. Maybe he "paid" for his solo trip with a credit card.

Yes, zicam usually works for me if I take it as soon as I get that "Am I getting sick?" feeling. It doesn't work 100% of the time, but usually works about 75% of the time for me and my husband.

Scarlett, you asked if relationships can survive after something like this. Honestly, no, I don't think they can. They don't heal easily and if they do heal, the relationship doesn't go back to what it was before. You made your choice. You have your moral high ground, but you don't have your son. I really hope it was worth it. 😞

Lots of water, lots of sleep, zicam when I feel something coming on. Avoid air travel if you can, because that's just a tin can full of germs (and I have to get on a plane later this week, ugh!) I try to avoid places where lots of little kids congregate because one of them is always, always hacking and boogering on something, or there's a mom that says "Yeah, he's had strep throat and pink eye, but I just *had* to get out of the house!" Um. What makes you think I want pink eye and strep throat, Karen?!

Hi @Scarlett. My dad and I are actually stuck in the middle of what turns out to be a faith-based disagreement. He very much wants me to participate in activities that I cannot participate in. He thinks I am rejecting his faith by not agreeing to join him in these activities. Furthermore, by me saying "Stop asking me to do this", I am in essence asking him to abandon part of his faith. He has angrily and tearfully yelled at me that no one, not even me, can make him give up his faith. I am not asking him to give up his faith. I'm asking him to stop demanding I participate in his faith. And no, this isn't something as simple as going to church with my dad. I wish this was a simple disagreement about church attendance. There's no solution to the disagreement with my dad. There is absolutely no middle ground, no compromise here. Either he has to change his mind completely or I do, and neither is likely to happen. It's definitely impacted our relationship. I talk with and see him less often. I would like to see him and talk with him more, but if I do, he's on my case about why won't I XYZ like God wants me to? It's hard to be in a relationship with someone that constantly reminds you that you are failing to meet their (and God's?) expectations. It's exhausting, honestly. I think I'd feel better if my Dad had ever tried to really understand my perspective on life, faith, spirituality. He says he's tried, but I think his version of "trying" is "Let's look for a weak spot in her belief system, so I can move in and turn her around to my way of thinking". Despite what my dad thinks, I actually do have a moral compass, and what he's asking me to do violates it, so I will not capitulate. I'm sorry you find yourself in a tough spot, Scarlett. I hope that with time you and your son can find some middle ground and peace.

I think you should leave DS14 with your SIL and let them sort out the logistics of baseball games/practice. Take your trip. There is nothing wrong with wanting to spend an anniversary weekend with your husband without your 14 year old. Yes, it's a long weekend, but it's also the chance for DS14 to make some memories with his aunt, uncle, and cousins. If you feel like it's a big imposition on SIL, you can offer to pay her something for the weekend of care, bring her back a gift, or even better: host *their* kids for a long weekend at your house. Your SIL and BIL would probably enjoy some quiet, kid-free time, too, and it's a chance for the cousins to bond and make memories.

I wouldn't care as long as I wasn't getting bumped to celebrate some other person, like what happened to @gardenmom5 I mostly don't care that much about my birthday, though. I'm happy if we can go out for fish tacos and I get phone calls from my sisters in the days before or after. I don't really care if I get a present or anything like that. Now Mother's Day, I get sniffy if I don't get an "Atta girl!" for it.

A few months ago, I was feeling burned out and completely *over* homeschooling, to the point where I investigated all the schools within a 40 minute drive of me. I told DH I either wanted to move out of state or put the kid in school or maybe both. I was just tired of the responsibility of it all. I was completely tired of other homeschoolers and the flakiness. I can do either the mom stuff or the academic stuff or the social stuff for kiddo, but I don't want to deal with all 3. This was also at a peak in friction between DS11 and I. He wasn't being mean to me, but everyone else around him, and would roll his eyes when I'd try to talk to him. Wouldn't listen to anything I said about it, wouldn't change his behavior. He just kept right on being a jerk and it was so stressful and embarrassing. Grounding him was a temporary fix and then he went back to pre-teen snottiness. So, I said "Forget this", and basically cancelled summer fun. He wasn't grounded, but we didn't do anything in particular this summer. After spending the last 5 years putting so much effort into homeschooling him and trying to create a great experience for him, I put nearly zero effort into the summer. We stayed home and I let him be bored for 3 months. He went to camp for 2 days, he went to a few library programs this month, but otherwise we were home. No swimming, no bowling, no movies, no outings with friends, no fairs, no camping, nothing. He got a 1970s style summer: There's the kitchen, fix yourself something to eat if you get hungry, I'll be on the deck reading a book, don't bother me. Figure out "fun" for yourself. I feel a lot better and DS11 seems to have sorted himself out (for now). Even though we didn't do anything special, he seemed content to stay home and play with our new kitten, read books, and even play with toys again. So I feel pretty good now. It's honestly been so heart-warming to hear him laughing and playing again. I feel pretty good about the start of our new year.

It's interesting how other co-ops and groups function. There are a lot of groups in this area, but I always feel like I don't know the secret handshake to get in. It's off-putting. Maybe that's the goal, lol.

So for this local group, you become a member in August. Pay the membership fee and then get added to the Facebook group that tells you what classes have been decided for the semester starting in September. Membership opens back up again in December. Pay the fee, then you find out what classes are offered for the spring semester after you get added to the secret group. The membership fee is separate from the class fee. If you ask about what the classes are, you are told they've already been determined and scheduled and you'll find out what they are and when they meet after you pay your membership fee. I don't really know who decides what classes are offered, but it didn't appear to be based on member input when we were (briefly) members.

There's a local co-op that will not tell you what classes they offer until after you pay your membership fee. How do I know if I want to join if I don't know what you are offering?!

What in the world? I didn't say "everyone else does it, thus so should you". I said "a lot of", based on what I've seen. The shorts I was talking about are longer, basketball shorts like you can get at Academy. They cover the butt completely and go midway down the thigh, depending on how tall you are. Good grief.

I think sometimes I'm just tired of being an outlier. Losing homeschool friends to public/private school reminds me of all the ways we don't fit in.

Interesting! Discussions and demonstrations of religious beliefs come up often around here. I try to side step the conversation because I don't really want to get into it with people.

I am so, so sorry 😞

She will probably need to change up her social circle. Most people *do* drink. She may have to consider how hard of a line this is for her. Is someone who used to drink but now abstains ok? If not, that will make her dating pool smaller. I am considered an absolute weirdo because I am an agnostic who does not drink, (I'll have a glass of champagne at a wedding or special event, but that's it). People hear "Doesn't drink" and assume I am deeply devout. Then they hear "agnostic" and cognitive dissonance sets in, lol.

Most of the homeschool families we've been friends with over the last 6 years have put their kids in school. The kids DS11 had a lot in common with are gone and the kids that are left he doesn't have much in common with anymore. 😕 It seems like everyone jumped to school suddenly, too. Homeschooling happily for years, then one day "We've enrolled the kids in school. We start in 2 weeks!". After years of being practically anti-school they are suddenly very "Rah rah rah! School is the best!" 😕

A lot of the girls and women around here (Texas) wear these shorts. No one looks dorky and no one's butt cheeks are hanging out.

I would let him have the sword. There is a guy that does swordcasting field trips not far from here. The only reason I haven't done it with my 11 yo is that it's like...$200 for a sword and takes all day. I don't care enough about it to spend $200 and DS11 doesn't care enough about it to spend 6-8 hours watching molten bronze get poured. 😄

Oh wow. That's a big load your mother dumped on you, @Farrar. For what it's worth, I don't think you are wrong. Relative said "Do this with my remains". If they wanted the remains divided among different places/relatives, I think they would have probably said that? I feel like sometimes people pull shenanigans like this in an attempt to rewrite some part of history after a person has died. They got the last word, so ha ha! They win. That sort of thing. 😕

DS11 loved the Mud Trilogy. I read it outloud to him and he read it to himself several times over. The parent guide had some questions to generate discussion, but I don't think he really got a lot out of those. I liked the questions in "Suppose the Wolf Were an Octopus" much better, (also by Royal Fireworks Press). We are starting Town level soon, and unless I find a stunningly good deal on the Alice, Peter, Mole trilogy, I will stick with picking books out of "Suppose the Wolf...". I already have Peter Pan and Alice in Wonderland around here somewhere and I'm pretty sure I can find some discussion questions for both of those books online if I look hard enough.

This is madness. It reminds me of the people in facebook homeschool groups wanting curriculum suggestions for their toddlers.

Yes, gendered pronouns are still a thing here. If I'm unsure of what to do, I use they/their/them. I don't know anyone that uses ze/zir and don't really see those becoming popular in usage when most people I know are comfortable using they/them/their.

@lovinmyboys Do your son and his grandpa have anything in common? If so, can you direct both of them into pre-planned activities for the things they have in common? My dad has a lot of firm beliefs that "All Boys Should..." and "All Boys Like...", and it's almost always a lot of stereotypical boy stuff that my son doesn't like and really isn't necessary to becoming a decent human being. The thing that has sort-of worked is finding something they both like and planning time for the two of them to do the thing together. I take the decision making out of Dad's hands, because when left to his own devices, he steamrolls over everyone around him and my kid ends up in tears. This hasn't "fixed" the problem but it has increased the number of positive grandpa/grandson interactions and decreased the number of times my son has burst into tears of frustration after dealing with his grandfather. It is absolutely exhausting to me that I have to do this, but it is what it is. I also wanted to add that none of what OP described necessarily means her kid is autistic or has anxiety. Some kids simply have very strong personalities, likes, and dislikes. It is not the case that every child who acts in ways adults dislike needs a diagnosis.

They still do those! One of my former teachers won Publisher's Clearinghouse sweepstakes and they gave him a giant check!