The day I realized I could simply write a check and mail it to my niece and nephew was liberating! No scouring Amazon wish lists, no price shopping, none of that stuff! Here's a check! Have fun! It's 100% not my problem now! Love, Auntie Lemon My grandma always used to send a check for my birthday and Christmas. She had a budget system for birthdays: grandkids got $20, her kids and their spouses got $25 each. Everyone got $5 more for Christmas, lol! We used to laugh about how rigid the system was, but now I"m seeing the wisdom of it!

Bless you for saying this. I get so much guilt from extended family because I am over 1000 miles away. It's nice to have a reality check that no, I'm not being mean because I can't go to every wedding and bridal shower.

Thanks, everyone! I have no idea how I've lived this long without the apple corer/wedger thing. DS11 eats sliced apples several times a week!

No, don't ask. Don't offer help to patch things up, (if that is what you were thinking). Initiating a divorce is incredibly hard. Having to face every one of your relatives at the holidays, with all of them saying "But what happened!!! Are you sure this is the right choice?! Is there anything I can do?!" is even worse. I had relatives offering to pay for marital therapy and it was awkward on top of painful. I'm sure they divorcing relative's parent has already asked questions about "What happened?" and "Are you sure this is what you want?". You simply may not be hearing that part of the conversation because it's kind of none of your business. I think all you can really say if the divorcing relative brings it up is "I heard. I am so sorry! This must be so hard!" and then just listen and respond sympathetically to whatever they want to share. Lots of "I'm here for you and the kids" and words like that.

Girl, my dad is next level in his antics. Like, his shenanigans are so unbelievable, I figure most people think I'm lying when I talk about him. He is also 100% the reason DH and I instituted a "No travel for holidays" rule before DS11 was born. I will *not* have dad upend another holiday. There's a looooong history there.

Are you my sister? Because this is the exact issue with my father. He wants the holidays celebrated in exactly the same way they have been celebrated for 40 years at his home. Last year, my sister went out of state to visit her in-laws, the first time she spent a holiday with them in 10+ years. Dad sulked and threatened to go to a soup kitchen for Christmas. My sister planned a Christmas celebration and gift exchange before she left and he "forgot" to get the grandkids presents. It's not really Christmas, so why are we exchanging gifts? He kept acting baffled about why exactly anyone was getting together when it wasn't even Christmas. He realized last minute that this was a real jerk move. My sisters had to scramble to fix the gift situation, so there weren't crying little kids. Then lots of talk about how it was "so sad" that this is what life has come to, that he's allllllll alooooooone. He had 4 other invitations to spend the actual day with people, plus the early-Christmas gathering, but none of it made him happy. He was eventually persuaded to go to my other sister's house for Christmas and was a wet blanket the entire time. I told both sisters to let him sulk in a soup kitchen this year. I'm several states away and we have a firm "No travel" for holidays rule because I won't spend my day with this sort of drama.

Whether I was annoyed depends on who stopped by. I probably wouldn't say anything about it, however.

Is Saxon pre-algebra his first brush with Saxon? What did you use before this? If you are committed to using Saxon products, he may need to back up either to 7/6 or 8/7. There are placement tests for Saxon on the sonlight website: Saxon Placement Tests

I've used the "Key to..." series from Key Curriculum Press whenever I've felt we needed to back up and review something. They have books on decimals, fractions, and percents.

Good luck, Scarlett! Moving is so stressful, especially with your husband being out of sorts!

What are your favorite "This really does make my life easier" kitchen and household gadgets? I'm drawing a blank on what to put on my list for Christmas and relatives are starting to nag about it. We could also use new towels, but reviews for every brand of towels are hot and cold. "They were the best of towels, they were the worst of towels..."

Yes, the ones I have made are frozen, but you can make fresh foods in it too. Not isn't just a reheating device for frozen foods.

I think about the parts of past-Christmas celebrations that I have really loved. Then I find ways to make the current celebration more like the ones in the past. I've also let go of a lot of "Shoulds" and "Have-tos" about Christmas. Extended family can feel however they like about that.

We just got an air fryer and I really love it. Ours is a Corsair. I think it's a 6 quart. They come in different sizes, so how much you can make in it depends on the capacity. So far we've just made things like fries or chicken nuggets in it, but I'm liking it. I'm going to try making fried zucchini next and then move on to fish tacos. Everything comes out really crispy and not greasy at all, and cook times are fast. I can make half a bag of frozen fries in about 10 minutes. I use it way more than my Instant Pot, which everyone swore would revolutionize my kitchen (it did not).

I've tried to get a lot of different things going around here and it's all kind of fizzled out. I don't want this thread to become one where someone says "But have you tried this?" and then I "Yes, but..." and poke holes in everyone's good ideas. That is exhausting for everyone! 🙂 But I really have tried to get some things going here for the local homeschool community, and there isn't enough community support. Name it, and I've probably tried it. I even ran the local group for awhile! (Never again!) I have a friend that has homeschooled in a few different states in the US, (her kids are graduated now), and she said this was the hardest place she's ever homeschooled because families simply do not want to meet up. She said her boys didn't have friends for a few years, despite all her efforts to get them connected with other kids. There's tons of stuff for kids through 3rd grade, but after that? *shrug* I've joined other cities and states homeschool groups, to see what is available in other locations. Maybe my standards are just too high? Maybe I'm being unrealistic? And honestly, it makes me want to cry, because in so many other places there are lots of options. Debate clubs, robotics, coding clubs, chess clubs, art groups, board games, co-ops, theater, community bands and orchestras, programs through the Y. Some of these things are through homeschool groups, some are offered through the town or a university. The game shops even offer D&D meetups for the kids! I suggested this to a few different shops around here and was laughed at, lol. They don't want kids that young in their stores, they said, and they aren't a free babysitter. Um, no, I wasn't asking for something for free. We'd pay! Like, what you offer for adults to play D&D on the weekend? Offer the same thing, but scale the time down to 2 hours, for kids age 8-13. No. Not interested. Anyway, I don't want to descend into a gripe session, because that won't solve my problem. We've been at a fork in the road for awhile, and we're going to have to make some big decisions to improve our situation. DH has a job interview on Tuesday that may shake things up a bit for us. We'll see.

Ah. No, there are no extra-curricular type groups around here. There are a few businesses that offer activities, but they are pretty expensive. DS11 takes an art class once a week that he likes. There is a new coding dojo that opened about 30 minutes from here, but it's $250 a month (I can't afford that!). We don't have a YMCA or a parks & rec department that offers classes. There is a parks department with classes in the next town over, but they only offer things for kids through 3rd grade. There is a chess club in the nearest big city that is very affordable ($30 a month), but it's 40+ miles away.

What is an EC?

No, and that's probably much of the problem. Most people do not plan for their kids to go to college and look down at people who do go to college. I know kids who probably won't receive much past 6th grade. The parents feel that anything beyond knowing how to make change at the store is more math than is needed in "real life". The handful of people I know that did go to college went to unaccredited Christian universities, so who knows? To be honest, I think we'll need to consider relocating to give DS11 some different opportunities. We're in a rural area, and while I can drive to bigger cities that have a few more offerings, it's hard to keep that going long term. I don't necessarily expect to find a co-op of high achieving, highly intellectual kids. I'd be happy if I could find a regular group of kids that liked to play board games or Dungeons and Dragons. I can't even get that going here. I think we've just outgrown the area in some ways, and we need to think on what we're trying to accomplish for DS11 now that he is no longer a little kid. This was a lovely place to homeschool little kids! But it's a tough place to homeschool middle and high school.

This is a big question and requires a big answer, and I'm struggling with being concise tonight! The main theme running through our life is strong family bonds. Like @Momto6inIN, I was not interested in playing second fiddle to the school. We briefly tried school and it was apparent after only a few days there that the school felt they had more rights and entitlements to the kids than the parents did. If I sent my child to school, I'd be agreeing to put his relationship with school ahead of his relationship with me and his father. I am not willing to do this. The values of school are not our values. And if anyone reading this has kids in school and is happy and fulfilled with their family-child-school, relationship, great! I"m glad it's working for you, but it became clear very rapidly that it was *not* going to work for us and would have negative effects on our family life. While we are not "school-at-home" homeschoolers, we are "intellectual" homeschoolers, meaning I don't do any tests or book reports, but we do a heck of a lot of reading and discussion. The rampant anti-intellectualism running through homeschool groups makes me angry, and has made me question whether we should continue homeschooling. Maybe he'd be better off in school where someone cares about learning? The co-ops here provide such low-quality "learning". The only benefit to these groups is the social aspect, but DS11 is starting to get annoyed when all the kids want to do is socialize, and we're running into the same sort of cliques and drama that you'd find in school. The library enrichment activities are like this, too. I've been looking -hard- for more intellectual activities and groups for him to join, but there isn't anything here. Someone tried to get a science club going, but it fell apart. "Science" around here equals "Nature Study". Math equals "baking". I asked if anyone knew of a math club in the area, and a *math teacher* chuckled and said she'd never heard of such a thing and didn't think there would be much interest, anyway. I just feel very discouraged. I feel like I've lost my way.

I know of one family that has flipped back and from from homeschool to B&M, depending on the influence of mom's friend-group. Mom basically follows the lead of whomever has the strongest personality. I have no idea how it's working out for the kids. I've seen a similar thing with purely B&M school families, however. My sister and BIL considered sending their 5 year old to tutoring at Kumon because everyone around them was doing it to "give the kids a leg up", which made it seem normal. They know some strong personalities who believe in holding very young children to high academic standards, (and these folks work as public school administrators, which I find discouraging). Sister had a lot of hesitation about it, but kept trying to justify that it would be fine. They eventually decided not to send him to Kumon, but I think it had more to do with the vibe of their friend-group, rather than "This is a poor choice for our child".

To be honest, basic training felt easy after living with my parents. I have zero baggage from basic, but definitely have a full set of baggage from my parents. 😉

The military will also institute a curfew until he leaves training status, which could be several weeks to many months, depending on his career path. Even after he's out of training, the military can and does institute curfews for "regular" military, and the punishment for blowing your curfew is often severe. Forgive me if I chuckle a little, thinking about how little my 1st Sgt would have cared about my emotional connection to anyone!

I honestly could cry right now because this sums up my dad. He's been "The Absent Minded Professor" his entire life. EF issues for miles and miles. He did so much better when he was married to my stepmother and working, because then he had people to manage everything for him. My dad is highly intelligent but utterly lost without a secretary and the household management of a wife.

I'd like a new pair of Converse in blue.

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