Apparently, I purged my pie plates. I just went looking for them and they are no where to be found!

I don't think Homeschool mom in AZ is trying to gatekeep and tell people they are using the dysfunctional term incorrectly. Someone else up thread said "every family is dysfunctional" and it is now trendy to claim you are from a dysfunctional family. I think Homeschool mom in AZ is pushing back on that idea because it is dismissive of people who grew up in really messed up families.

Yes, I watched Mr. Rogers. I kind of watched him on the sly. I really liked him and I really wanted more people like him in my world. I knew that if my mom or stepfather saw me watch Mr. Rogers, they'd have something shitty to say about it, so I watched him in secret. I didn't feel isolated, but I kind of felt like an outsider. I felt like nice people like Mr. Rogers were really meant for other kids, not for me. I felt kind of envious of that imaginary world.

I'd love to give and receive experience/consumable gifts but none of our relatives considers those to be "real" gifts. They want to give kiddo A Thing In A Box That Can Be Wrapped And Then Unwrapped. They won't just give one gift, either. My in-laws gift buying strategy is to get the biggest number of wrappable gifts for their budget. They don't think "What kiddo would like?" They think "How many things can I get for $50? I can get 10 $5 things and then kiddo will think I'm awesome for giving him so many things!" They sometimes buy multiples of the same thing and are offended and confused when I say "Thanks. We'll share the extras with friends". I mean, what in the world is kiddo to do with 6 identical blue 6 inch rulers? A dozen party-favor boxes of crayons? A dozen yo-yos? These were real "Valentine's Day Gifts" they gave kiddo one year. I resent junk like that coming into my home because I have to put in work to get it back *out* of my home. I really wish they'd get him one nice thing instead of 6-10 junky little things. Or give him a book! The kid asks for books every year, and every year both sides of the family look stricken. "That's not a real gift". YES IT IS!!! I have come to realize I have some mild EF issues and I definitely function better with less "stuff" in my home. Too much stuff means I can't think straight. Husband is the type of person that wants to keep everything "in case of emergency". I can't think of an emergency situation that requires old shoes or strings of burned out Christmas lights, but I guess we're prepared when that day comes. 😠

What about Planet Fitness? I think it's $10 a month and they are open 24/7. I don't know about the loud music, though. I'd love to take a yoga class, but like you found out, they all start at times that don't work. I can't do yoga at 6pm. Husband doesn't even get home from work until 5:45.

I accidentally purged part of the outfit DS wore home from the hospital. I was being rushed to empty a storage unit, and the little pants and jacket were in the bin. I still have the onesie and blanket, but I am really sad I no longer have the rest of it. I wish I had purged all the crap my in-laws gave us. I am doing it now, and feel so much better without this junk hanging around. It is a never ending stream of stuff from them and it overwhelms me.

Can you paint the walls to match something in the bed room? You've got a lot of things going on in there, so I would try to find ways to tie it all together. Make things more monochromatic? Pick one wood tone and make everything match? My husband would also be happy to decorate everything like a dorm room, too. No headboard, mismatched curtains, mismatched everything. How big are your husband's objections? lol Sometimes I just change things at home in a way that looks better and tell DH to deal with it.

Update: I listed almost all the books kiddo was willing to part with and sold them for $100! Once he heard how much money we made, he was willing to let a few more things go. He's not ready/able to initiate the process himself, but if I hold something up and say "Stay or go?", he'll say "go" for some of it. Progress! And money!

.

.

Some people are just difficult. It's easier to do all the work myself than to spend 85% of the time smoothing their ruffled feathers due to a Marney-esque tantrum about serving spoons or whatever. I'd love to have a family full of people that don't pitch a fit about green beans or try to turn the day into their own one-act drama, but I don't have those people, lol. I have people that have strong feelings on whether or not I've served their cherry-jello salad with enough reverence and flair, and I really don't have the bandwidth for that anymore.

Wash the walls and any soft items you can, like curtains and pillows

Both of my grandparents had sit down meals with all serving dishes on the table. You'd pick up the dish in front of you, serve yourself, and then pass to whomever was empty handed next to you. If the potatoes didn't make their way around, you said "Could you please pass the potatoes?" and they'd get passed down. Both grandfather's would carve the turkey at the table and plate it there. 🤷‍♂️ I actually found a picture of Thanksgiving at my grandmother's house from the 1970s, and it doesn't look like they served nearly as many dishes as people do today: turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, gravy. My grandma also served a relish tray of celery and olives, and a creamed pearl onion thing that my grandfather liked, but those dishes were pretty small. Grandpa was the only one that ate the onion dish). I think I was the only one that ate the olives and celery, lol. Similar deal at my other grandma's house. It just all fit somehow. 🤷‍♂️ Dinner plates were cleared and then desert was brought out. My in-laws do a free-for-all buffet. Food is out and people can eat whenever they want, where ever they want. They don't sit together or even eat at the same time. It seems weird to me, but 🤷‍♂️

There's an expansion for Exploding Kittens called Imploding Kittens (I think). I just peeked in our game closet. Some other ideas: Carcassonne, Ticket to Ride, Settlers of Catan, Mr Toast, Bears vs. Babies.

Does he have a favorite baseball or basketball team/player? Maybe a jersey for his favorite? What about a card or board game? Organ Attack and Exploding Kittens have been a hit over here.

Very pretty! I have a few Spode serving pieces. I'd never heard of Cuthbertson before!

Yeah, I guess people are going to think what they want. It's just exhausting to have to defend the position that no, I don't drink or smoke weed and there is nothing wrong with that. Since pot has been decriminalized and CBD oil is now everyone's cure-all, I'm suddenly getting a lot of pressure from adults on this. It's so weird.

Got it. I guess people will just have to think I'm uptight then, because I my end goal is "no drug use", even if the drugs are legal and considered no big deal by the general population. I've seen more problems than benefits come from use of cigarettes, alcohol, and pot.

Fine, then what about cigarettes? Those are legal. What about pot? Pot is decriminalized in many places. I'm trying hard to understand why letting teens have alcohol at home so they learn how to handle drinking is a version of responsible parenting, but other drugs are not ok. I don't follow the logic that one glass of wine at a special event is totally fine and harmless. But other drugs would not be ok? Why? Not trying to be snarky. I just don't get it.

I wasn't using it as a metaphor. I'm trying to understand where the line is for people.

Do people think it's a good idea to let their kids try ecstasy or cocaine at home for their first time, rather than at a frat party? If the answer is "No, because that is illegal", then what about cigarettes? Those are legal. What about pot? That's being decriminalized in many places. Would people be ok with giving their kids their first joint at home, to avoid any kind of negative outcome at a frat party?

These kinds of threads make me crazy because so many people chime in with "Well, in Germany/France/Sweden/Europe, it's legal, therefore the OP who is posting from the US is just being uptight". We do not have the same laws in the US as other countries, so it really doesn't matter how often you were served wine at Sunday dinner in Spain when you were 15. Choosing not to drink alcohol is a valid life choice. It doesn't mean you are uptight and controlling if you abstain or decline to permit your under-21 kids to drink on your watch. The law is written such that under-21s can drink only with parental or spousal permission/supervision. The parent declined. There's no provision that says "But cool grandma gets to override that decision and mom just has to deal with it".

Thanks, ladies. I so appreciate that I can get a reasonable response here, rather than the smugness I find on Facebook groups!

Our relatives like to give small Star Wars Lego kits that DS11 can finish in 15 minutes. He doesn't even like Star Wars. I call them Generic Boy Gifts, and I also wish they'd cut it out with them.

Yes, do call to get some pain meds! They may be able to work you in as an emergency on Friday.