Last year, DH asked for underwear and the Kiddo asked for math books. We're a real fun household, lol. This year, I asked for some bag carrying handles Grocery Bag Carrying Handles. That's probably the weirdest thing on the list. I got a chess clock for Kiddo from the chess club he attends. He found my hiding place for it, and accused me of stealing the chess clock from the club. WHAT!? Good grief.

I don't usually do bows or ribbons on gifts. My mom never did it, so I didn't either until DH expressed a little sadness that we didn't have bows. So I buy a few bags of stick-on bows each year at the dollar store and that's about as far as I'm going with it, lol. We've become cloth-bag users over the last few years. I have a box full of them that I have saved from Amazon. My MIL also packages everything in paper gift bags, so we have eleventy-billion of them that get re-used. We still use some wrapping paper for those items that are too big for the bags we have. When kiddo was tiny, it was fun to watch him tear open presents. The cats would jump around in the piles of paper, and that was fun, too. But I like using the cloth bags, because there is less waste and less trash to fill up the can. It makes "wrapping" everything go so fast, too!

Absolutely. If the grandparents can't handle these tasks anymore, then they need to be hired out. Or other relatives need to step up and do their share if there is no money for this. The current arrangement is very unbalanced.

Since he has very specific likes and doesn't enjoy "extra" things, maybe you could make a gift basket of all his favorites? The Lays chips, orange soda, Pasta Roni, and a Subway gift card together all sound nice because it's all things he likes.

Please don't feel bad! You did the right thing. The dog might have bit his tongue or broke a tooth. Those types of things bleed a lot and look frightening, but usually end up being minor injuries. I've had to use a rabies-pole (that's what that pole and collar are called) to safely catch aggressive dogs. It sucks and everyone feels bad about the inevitable struggle, but it's better than getting bitten and all the legal stuff that happens if someone is bit, (the legal stuff is no good for the dog, either).

I really like Fossil wallets. I have one like this, but in a lighter brown. Fossil Organizer wallet

Oh, I'm sure he's made the mental leap. He knows how all this works, but feels entitled to a Very Nice Christmas, so it doesn't matter if his wife is sobbing over the work load. Did anyone else catch the bit where OP has to go over to the in-laws house to help clean before all these festivities, and also that she has to do the in-laws shopping, because MIL isn't up to the task anymore?! This isn't OP feeling pouty because she doesn't want to make extra pies to share. She's taken on the holiday labor of *two* households! And for a multi-day holiday celebration! That's nuts! Where's OP's Christmas Magic? How come everyone else gets Christmas Magic but her?! Edited to add: It's not just men that pull this crap, although it seems like men do this more often. I have a sister that is just as guilty as my dad with her expectations of a Very Nice Christmas where she does zero work, receives gifts, eats great food, and cleans nothing. She and dad have fought very hard to keep "The Magic of Christmas" alive, at the expense of my other sister.

I agree with you 100%. I get really tired of men who insist on having a magical, perfect Christmas, who also do zero work to bring about any of that perfect magic. I'd be pretty excited to have a holiday where someone else did all the cleaning, cooking, decorating, shopping, and all I had to do was kick back, receive presents, and eat tasty treats.

Oh wow, that sounds like...so much. When my stepmother was ill and falling, we tried to get her to wear one of those buttons so she could get help if she needed it. No dice, not even after she fell and broke her hip. She was laying in the dirt in the backyard for hours before a neighbor came home and saw her. I kind of thought that would have made her see the light, but no. All you can do is what they'll let you do. People who are difficult their whole life continue being difficult in their elder years, too. Some of them are willing to take their difficult personalities to the extreme to make a point. What point? To whom? Can't say! Neither can they! But there's a point, by God, and they are making it! 🙄 😉 Hang in there!

I'd just paint the hallway and stairwell too, so you don't have to worry about colours clashing.

I was thinking about this today, after an encounter with a rather aggressive Salvation Army bell-ringer. I am very aware of all the demands on my time, mental space, and wallet this year. It's probably the same level of demand as other years, but it's really bugging me this year for some reason. Probably because relatives were in my ear about Christmas a few days after Halloween. I like a slow build up to Christmas, and I feel like I've been nagged since November 1. All of my elder relatives have big feelings and opinions about Christmas, and I'm feeling cranky about that. Like, you're 68 years old. I'll do my best to make sure you feel included and remembered, but I can't handle you tantruming like a child because you want someone to make sure you have a very special Christmas with just the right gift. We skipped most of the holiday events in town this December. They happened too early and seemed to be of low quality. Just a whole lot of rushing around to get some watery cocoa and a cheap candy cane. We don't give gifts to teachers, coaches, etc. I don't think I ever gave more than a card when I was in school. The social pressure seems to be that if you don't give everyone a Very Special and Thoughtful Gift, it means you don't appreciate them. I appreciate the art teacher. That's why I pay her every week, lol! I appreciate our mail carrier. That's why I say "Thank you!" when she brings packages to my door. I feel like I sometimes receive half-baked "social pressure" type gifts from people I am not close to. I'd rather they skip that. The older I get, the more I feel like "less is more". Or maybe I'm just getting grinchy, lol.

Oh, I'm so, so sorry. 😞

The Yeti can cooler is a great idea. I gave my husband one 2 or 3 years ago, and he uses it every day. It really does work as advertised.

Oh my goodness! Such sweet children with generous hearts!

Has your dad offered any guidance on what you should do? Does he need you there? If you don't go, will that negatively impact your relationship with your dad? I have some regrets about not seeing my grandfather before he died. I'd gotten several "Pop is dying" messages over the years. I was 1,000 miles away. The last message came from my 20 year old sister and not my father, so I totally dismissed it. From sister, it was "Everything is terrible". From Dad it was "Whatever you want to do, pumpkin!". Grandpa died a week later and my sister is still angry with me 15 years later. I feel bad, although I don't think I could have afforded to both see Pop and go to the funeral, so whatever I did, someone was going to be mad. If you can afford to fly out now, I would try to go. Even if you are just there for an overnight trip, try to go.

I eloped in July. My relatives are opinionated and self-absorbed. I really didn't want them making my wedding day all about them, (which they did at my first wedding). Eloping saved me that stress.

Our library has a teen room that is fiercely guarded. No one under the age of 13 is allowed in. If you don't look old enough to go in, there's a librarian hissing at you that it's the teen room and you need to leave. They also have a weekly program for teens. Which is great, except... They have dropped tween programming and many tween books. They have umpteen toddler story time sessions and weekly teen meetups, but there are zero middle school events since our favorite librarian quit. Not much in the way of tween books, either. I've asked about getting the tween program going again, and the staff looks at me like I'm asking for a ride to the airport.

We would eat them! Om nom nom! I would rather not have someone give me an ornament or other holiday decorative doo-dads. I know, I know, it's a nice gesture, but this year I looked at my tree and realized over half the ornaments on it were picked out by people that do not live in this house. They are also from people we don't know well, so there's none of that "Oh, this reminds me of my beloved Great Aunt Tillie!". More like "I think this came from that neighbor that lived in the apartment across from us. You know, the one that played really loud techno music on Sundays? Yeah, that guy". (Yes, I had that neighbor).

Has she read about Phineas Gage?

I say Bristle Blocks with a gift receipt, in case mom and dad feel prickly about it.

Unfortunately, no. I really want one, but it seems like something always comes up to bump it down in the buget. 😕

Have you looked at these? Ruggable

Maybe everyone can make wearing gloves to church fashionable again. It might help cut down on germ spread, at least for the ladies.

My middle and junior high school was like this. The original plan was completely open spaces. The only area that was closed off was the band room. The original idea was for the teachers to move freely around and "share ideas". Even the science labs were completely open. That plan was ditched and the moved in cubicle walls. It was always loud and chaotic. There was always some doofus kid launching paper balls over the cubicle walls. I hated it. From what I can tell, the school has never added more permanent walls. I have no idea what the plan is for safety with regards to a school shooting. 😞

I've had cats for 20+ years, and this is the first year I've had a tree-climbing cat. I'm dying.