Repainting the entire interior of the house, except my son's room and bathroom. There's a lot of custom moulding along the ceiling that has to be painted, too. 😞 And all the paneled doors. 😕 New hinges and doorknobs on all the interior doors Install beadboard and new trim on the kitchen island and cabinet ends Find some fancy moulding to add to the columns separating the dining room from the livingroom Install Beadboard in the laundry room New shelving in the laundry room New vanity lighting for son's bathroom There's a lot that needs to be done outside as well, but I'll be really happy just to get this much done.

I thought about this some more, and there is a person that comes close to "hate" for me. There are people whom I do not enjoy spending time with, but I would still feel empathy if something bad happened to them. They might be a pain in the socks, but I don't want anything bad to happen to them. There is *one* person where if something bad happened to them? My gut reaction would be "Good. Serves them right". But only low-level badness, not personal injury or illness. Like, if they could be moderately irritated and inconvenienced for a long period of time? I would feel pretty satisfied about that. Petty, I know.

I don't hate anyone. I basically like everyone, or at least, really want to like everyone. There are a few people I have recently realized that despite really wanting to like them? I kind of don't. They aren't necessarily terrible people. They have good qualities. I just...really do not enjoy their company and try to avoid spending any sort of one-on-one time with them. They are exhausting to talk to and require a higher difficulty setting than I prefer. That's been my theme for 2019: It's ok to select a lower difficult setting for relationships.

I think this is why people say that forgiveness isn't for the abuser; it's really for oneself, so you do not allow the abuser to occupy your mind.

I've often felt that financial pressure with relatives. Like, yeah, on paper it says I can afford to do all these things relatives think I should be doing. But...then I don't get to do a lot of things that are really important to me, because I've spent all the money doing whatever for the relatives. Maybe this is something you can compromise on? Can your family stay behind and just you attend the funeral, @Farrar? Then maybe you can contribute a token amount of cash toward the funeral to keep the peace and honor your uncle's memory? I don't think it's totally fair that you should spend all that cash for everyone in your family to go AND have to kick in for the funeral when the expenses are basically to provide a posh upgrade to what would be an otherwise decent and respectable send off. I think it's a fair line to draw.

I hate flying so much. Every part of it feels degrading now. It's also stressful to bring kiddo with me. I won't fly Southwest anymore because I hate their family boarding policy and unless I pay extra, I can't guarantee kiddo will sit with me. It's not as big a deal now that he's almost 11, but when he was 7? Yeah, that really bothered me. I'm not letting my 7 year old sit next to some random person getting drunk on the plane for 3 hours. But I also just hate flying as a concept. The turbulence freaks me out. Take off and landing freak me out. I've always wanted to take Amtrak to visit my dad, but the cost difference between flight and train has been significant. 😕

I'm so sorry about your uncle, @Farrar. Hopefully, everyone will come to their senses soon.

Old enough to remember the old bell paging system from department stores.

This thread is exactly why women that formula feed feel judged and hostile toward the "Breast is Best!" proponents.

Agreeing with this. We've been having issues with DS10 that we never had before. (Edited to add: Well, we had some of these issues before, but not to the magnitude we were seeing. When he was younger, I could tell him to please listen to me and do what I was asking, and he would just do it. Not so much anymore). It took several months of me trying to reason with him before I realized it was hormonal. I stopped trying to reason with him after that, lol. We've instituted a rather firm schedule and I've taken the position that I will not *debate* anything with him. I am happy to explain why he has to ABC or XYZ but I am no longer interested in debating why option PDQ should also be entertained when the only reason he's bringing up PDQ is to be contrary. So, our "treatment" for this so far has been: more chores. more challenging schoolwork more activities more sleep more food more talking to each other more structure On the days that DS10 has a full dance card, (lots of chores, school, predictable schedule), we have fewer issues. The backtalk, whining, and grumbling stopped for 3 weeks. (Bonus: our house was also very clean!!!) Today was the first day that our schedule was off and I did not have a list waiting for him. We had an early am vet appointment and DS10 had to attend a different session of art today as a make-up. Today was also the first day in 3 weeks that he got mouthy with his art teacher and pitched a fit in class. It's probably not a coincidence. We've been doing more thoughtful talking, as well. I've been trying to talk to him about "When I was your age..." without it sounding really preachy. He's been listening and asking questions. A lot of the younger-kid things we used to do are no longer fun for him, but I don't think he understands why they aren't fun anymore. So he goes to the splash pad, expecting it to be fun...and then it's not really fun and he's frustrated. He remembers that it was fun, so he expects it to be the same each time. The last time we went, he shoved a random kid head first down the slide, for no reason he could articulate. The week before that, he hit the dog "because the dog is annoying" (!!!). This is sooo unlike DS10. I'm trying to steer him toward tween activities, but it's tough because this town does not have a lot of tween events and so many homeschoolers pack the kids back to school once they hit the tween years. There is a tween co-op but the mom that runs it is really intense plus it's an hour+ away. I also kind of want to get DS10 around more positive male role models. I've been taking him to a chess club which is almost all dudes, and so far he likes it. I'd like to get him into the local robotics group as well, but that will have to wait until August, when they start back up. Hang in there!

Are you saying the cat has no eyeball or that the cat has pupils of unequal size suddenly? Like, one pupil is so tiny it is almost gone? Either way, this requires immediate veterinary care. It could be a stroke, a blood pressure issue, some sort of neurological issue...all things that will not get better with the passage of time.

That stinks. Been there. She could always get a cover up tattoo. Or if she just wants the thing gone, surgical excision is an option, depending on the tattoo location. Laser removal is an option but it takes a long time. 😕

It looks like this is likely your etsy seller. I would contact them and let them know there is some sort of problem because you did not order this item, but have received 2 copies. Colored Chemistry Pencil Stickers

Is there any indication of who the etsy seller is? I wonder if someone bought the stickers for their pencils but put in the wrong address. When they complained they did not receive their item, the seller sent out another set. That would explain getting two of them. If you can find the name of the etsy seller, you can contact them about it. It's probably a weird mistake and not anything sinister.

Nm.

Speaking of tattoos...Eeek! (not for the squeamish)

This is a scenario that is playing out with my father and one of my sisters. They spend all their social time together and are very enmeshed in each other's lives. The go to the gym together. They took dance lessons together. They sing in a choir together. At the choir show, they sang "Me and My Shadow" as a duet. *bangs head* I and my youngest sister have been trying to encourage both of them to branch out and make other friends because this dynamic is really not good for either of them. Nope, they see nothing wrong here. Except, when it looked like my sister was going to relocate 1500 miles away for work, it nearly pushed both of them into an emotional crisis. It's going to be a mess when Dad one day dies. 😞

Throw it all away. Buy new when you get to your new house. 😎

Managing the elder's expectations is SO frustrating. All of my relatives over the age of 65 have a lot of Big Feelings about what I should be doing for them. I have to say, it really hurts to hear them call me selfish because I can't drop everything and fly across the country for some crazy thing they want me to do.

So, I thought I'd give a tiny update. Long story short, it finally sunk in that kiddo was hitting the ugly tween years and that is what is fueling this non-stop bickering. I actually had to ground him, for the first time ever, because he was so rude and snotty to everyone around him. While yes, he has always had a tendency toward bickering over rules, in the past he would settle down when I'd tell him "I know you disagree/don't understand, but I need you to do what I am asking and we can discuss it later". These days? Nope! Doesn't work anymore. He just sits there sullen, muttering under his breath and giving me stink eye. So, it's less a gifted kid issue than a snotty tween issue. Except for when he gives me condescending attitude because he's a better mathematician than I can ever hope to be. Then it's kind of both issues! Yay. On the plus side, my house is REALLY clean after all the chores he did. It's kind of nice. I suspect my house will stay really clean this summer, as well, if the attitude I got today is an indication of how the summer will go. 😕

The thing that stresses me out the most regarding my dad is how far away I am from him and how little advanced prepwork he's done. He says he wants to stay in his current home until it's "time for the nursing home", but I don't think he totally grasps that you don't just move into a nursing home on a whim. Things have to get to a bad point before you go to the nursing home. I look at the flight of stairs and the long, icy sidewalks to the car and mailbox and wince. It's a matter of time before he falls and then we'll be in Crisis Mode. We could avoid or postpone Crisis Mode if he'd be willing to make some changes now, but he won't. So, my plan is to downsize to a smaller property *before* it's a need. This house is all one level, which is great, but I can see a day when the maintenance and cleaning of it will become too much because of it's size. I do want to be close to where my son lives when he's an adult, so he doesn't have to run himself ragged to check on me and DH. Close enough where's it's convenient for my son to check in, but not so close that my future DIL wants to strangle me, lol! I'd be happy to go to an apartment or even have a tiny house. Something one level and small, where I can have a cat and not worry about major repairs or mowing the lawn. Grab bars in the bathroom(s) and a walk-in shower are a must.

I am glad for the reminder, too. I didn't realize that losing muscle mass contributed to falls. Definitely going to look into gym options this week!

I think there's only so much you can do from long distance. You can have some hard conversations about what their plans are and what their expectations are for when they need care. You may need to have several conversations to get to the bottom of what they expect of you. Be prepared to burst some bubbles. (Insert All About Me Vent Here, lol) -> It took a lot of poking for my father to finally admit that he expected one of his children to move in with him and care for him until he needs to go to a nursing home. Unfortunately, he did not articulate this until *after* he bought a giant, 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom bi-level home that is in the middle of nowhere. The home was purchased against my recommendation. I thought it was insane to "downsize" to a house that was twice the size of his old one. He's not worried about falling down the stairs or driving because he assumes one of us will move in and handle all that for him. Laundry in the basement? No worries, he'll have one of his live-in kids wash his clothes so he won't ever have to take the stairs. Can't drive? No problem, someone else will do it for him. Not to be a crab a$$ about it, but if you expect someone to uproot themselves, their kids, their spouse, and move 90 minutes away from their jobs to take care of you? You really need to include them in the conversation if you want their cooperation. It's a Big Ask. A really, really big ask, and you will probably need to compromise a bit. It's not fair to expect everyone else to adapt their lives to yours. I couldn't understand why he kept insisting I tell him whether I liked the kitchen because "I figure you 'girls' will be cooking in it more than me". Huh? Why would I be cooking in *your* kitchen more than you? I don't live here....ooooooohhhhh. No, dawg, I'm not moving in. Nice try.

I can't imagine going through all this expense and pain for laser removal, only to re-ink myself. Once this is over, I will never, ever, ever get another tattoo. It's taken over a year to get 1 small ring tattoo removed. I started 2 years ago but took a year off, because I needed a break from the whole experience. It's really hard to convince yourself you want to get zapped by a laser every 8 weeks. I made my next appointment for Friday, and my palms are sweaty just thinking about it.

Unfortunately, I can't really picture myself with one anymore, either! Yet here they are...for now. I'll be glad when they are both gone. They are small tattoos: a ring and a bracelet. Not like some big skull and dagger or anything crazy like that, lol. They don't raise a lot of eyebrows, but I still go "ugh" when I see them. I need to stop dragging my feet and make the next laser appointment.