Everyone has to follow the law. There is no provision in the law that says "This law must be followed unless all your friends are breaking it, and then it's totally ok to ignore it and have fun". If the teen feels strongly this law is unjust, they are welcome to write their state representative and provide evidence of the disproportionate burden this places on them and other teens. It sounds like a great homeschool research topic, lol!

Yes! I did that to him yesterday. He was trying to teach me how to play a game, and I kept interrupting him to ask about his socks, why he had freckles and I do not, why his room is blue and not green, what would happen if I stood up to play the game, what would happen if I *don't* stand up to play the game, etc. He did.not.like.that. lol I asked him how he felt when I did that (angry and frustrated), and I said "That's how you make other people feel when you do it to them". He got teary-eyed after that. It's too soon to tell if that lesson will stick with him or if we need to repeat it a hundred more times.

Good advice and a good reminder. I have been the "helper" when the instructor allows it, and classes do go better when I am allowed to be there. It's really hard to find instructors that will allow it in my area, however. I've gone round and round with a few instructors in the past who acknowledge they struggle with him but also do not want me to sit in on a class. I find that so frustrating! I think you are right that some of these classes are not a good fit. Even when they are on topics he loves, (like math), either the pace of the class is too slow or the instructor is put off by him. He wants to talk to the instructor about math like a peer and instructors don't like that.

All of this. I am happy to fork over the cash for someone else to teach my kid macrame for an hour. Please don't ask me to supervise the nursery while he learns macrame.

Nope. I would look for another solution, (can you move your inlaws into a trailer on your property?)

I had been doing a little of this, reminding him before art class about his behavior. I will keep going with this plan. It felt a little weird to me, but I have always been able to "read the room" and understand the social expectation. It feels so strange to have to specify behavior expectations like "Do not challenge the authority of the teacher. Do not fact check the teacher. Do not interrupt the teacher. Etc"

Yep. Local advice is either "You need to spank him and he'll stop!" or "Just love him through this and honor his spirit!" lol

San Antonio area. Military City, USA with a lot of influence from crunchy-Austin.

Do kids like this every finally figure it out and just chill? lol. It would be so nice to have a day where he's not fact checking me, catching me on some technicality, and grilling me about some minute detail that no one cares about, not even him. He's been like this since he was 4 or 5, just endless "What about this? Or this? OR THIS?! Have you considered all the possible angles of this!?" No kid, I have not considered all the angles because I don't care that much. It doesn't matter whether we use the school glue or the glue-all or a glue stick or the target brand of glue or rubber cement or e-6000. Just glue the two papers together and get it done.

I think he just likes to bicker and argue because he can get the upper hand. I think he's only mildly interested in the information, but the "fun" of bickering and challenging the authority figure makes it more interesting to him.

I do need that. In my area, we seem to either have very lax instructors or very, very, very strict. The very strict instructors have zero patience and tons of structure. The lax instructors have tons of patience but zero structure. Literally, I live in a military town with a lot of hippie families, lol, and you see both philosophies in the teaching. We struggle to fit in for so many reasons.

Yes, and he said "Well, I don't think I am annoying". Which makes me want to laugh and cry. He does the same with math. I say "You got these two wrong, please look them over and correct them". He says "Well, I thought I got them right" very matter of fact, like that should shut the whole discussion down. I lost my cool and yelled at him. :/

I have a gifted kid that constantly argues, bickers, and finds eensy exceptions to every rule, and frequently goes on tangents. He challenges authority all the time and rubs all instructors/teachers the wrong way. If an instructor says "Ok, everyone sit down at a table and take a blue marker", he'll say "Why do I need to sit down? What happens if I take a green marker instead of a blue marker?" If the instructor responds "I need everyone to sit down so I can begin the activity", my little question-asker will say "What happens if I don't sit down? Can I just stand instead? Will the activity then be cancelled if I don't sit?". (spoiler alert: the kid doesn't even want to stand. He wants to sit but also wants to micro-analyze why he has to sit vs stand) This back and forth will go on FOREVER. The kid will find new details to question and contemplate, and it's almost always stuff that really doesn't matter at all to the task at hand. It always ends with a frustrated teacher and my kiddo in tears, because the teacher told him to stop asking questions and be quiet. Real life example: Art teacher: Let's use these new paint pens I ordered online. Kiddo: The labels are in Japanese or maybe Korean, I am not sure which. Why are they in Japanese or Korean? Why can't the pen manufacturer just write the labels in English since they were sold to people who spoke English? Art teacher: Um, well, they are made by a Japanese company and they were imported into the US... *kiddo interrupts* But couldn't they just import pens with labels written in English instead of Japanese? Art teacher: I mean, I guess they could, but that wouldn't be very efficient for their business model to have labels in multiple langugages, and anyway, we're getting off track here... Other random parent observing the class and getting annoyed: You know kiddo, not everyone in the world speaks English so you shouldn't assume that everything will be in English... Me: Son, do you want a blue pen or a red one? Just pick one. The paint is the same regardless of the language on the label. Kiddo: I still don't really know why the labels are in Japanese and not English..And if it doesn't matter, then why not just have the labels in English. I can't read Japanese or Korean or whatever this is.*sighs heavily* I've asked for advice about this in other forums, and what I've gotten is suggestions on how to help him research international marketing and manufacturing, or perhaps to sign him up for Japanese and/or Korean lessons. The issue is bigger than learning Japanese, Korean, or international trade research. Or someone will huff "Well, he's 10.5. He should know better than this by now". Well, no kidding! That's why I am on a forum, asking for advice! Because the Little Lawyer/Little Professor schtick is wearing thin and people are starting to avoid him because he's EXHAUSTING. I'm worried I am raising a kid that will job hop because he finds it more intriguing to argue with his boss over correct burger-flipping techniques rather than just flip the fecking burgers like he was asked. I need some help? Reassurance? Book suggestions? about how to manage this. What I really want is a kid that can sit down for a class, follow the instructions, asking *relevant questions* if he needs clarification. It's not even that he can't see the forest for the trees. He can't see the forest because he's too busy asking for clarification about why we aren't at the beach instead, nevermind the fact that he doesn't even like the beach. For what it's worth, he does not have autism, ADD, ODD, or any other diagnosis. Yes, he's been evaluated by a specialist.

No one has said that. The situation isn't black and white. It's not either/or. It's not the case that all women are overwhelmed by mental load OR all women are whiners. There can be a state that exists where some women are whiners AND some other, totally different women have some really serious, heavy mental load.

Never mind.

Add liver disease, renal failure, low blood sugar to the list, although you would likely notice other symptoms of those conditions in the dog, not merely seizures. The vet will still want to run labwork to make sure it's not any of those things. If all those are normal and physical exam is normal, I would expect the vet to recommend starting on phenobarbital. Your sister will have to give the anti-seizure meds daily and bring the dog in for periodic lab work to make sure the drugs are at a therapeutic level in the blood stream, and also to check that the pheno isn't having a negative effect on the liver.

Less social media. I have facebook only by necessity. I don't do twitter or Instagram. Pinterest is only when I have a specific project in mind. I don't read homeschool blogs or mommy blogs because they generally rub me the wrong way. Read something positive and encouraging every day. Those two things will help you feel a lot less stressed and overwhelmed. I am ruthless about clutter. I pitch things all the time. I get decision paralysis with too many things cluttering up my house, so it's better for me to get rid of things and not dwell on feeling guilty about it. I can easily fall into a mental trap about wasting money. "I wasted money by not utilizing that item to the fullest, so it's wrong to get rid of it, even though it's a struggle to keep it cleaned/stored/organized". Now I donate items and think "Someone else can make a decision about getting full value from this item. It's their job now, not mine". We don't do oodles of activities. I don't want to spend all that time in my car. I will drive no further than 40 minutes for routine activities, no more than 3 outings in a week, and never more than one event per day. I also say NO to a lot of things. "Would you like to help organize..." No. "Will you be available to host..." No. I also feel zero guilt in backing out of an obligation if the scope of the project creeps too far beyond what I agreed to do. "I'm sorry, but after re-examining my schedule, this project is more than I am able to commit to. If anything changes, I will let you know". Written out, that makes me sound like a total grump, lol. I'm just really protective and firm on my boundaries.

I chose divorce. I realize that sounds flippant and for many people it is simply trading one set of problems for a different set. But yeah, that's what the choice came down to. I left.

My ex's excuse for never doing anything was "agricultural totalitarianism". I still don't get how the rise of farming lead to him being oppressed by his harridan wife who insisted he both have a job AND load the dishwasher, but apparently it was a thing. Honestly, I think guys like this are just assholes and there's no solution other than to leave them. They won't change because the status quo suits them just fine, so they'll argue and gaslight you for years and years about how you are so wrong and terrible for asking them to put the garbage *in* the can and not *next* to the can. Real argument with my ex: He'd line up all the empty bottles like little soldiers marching off to battle, but would never, ever put the stuff in the can. Then it became a test of wills where he would absolutely refuse to put the garbage in the can because I shouldn't care about things like this, and by insisting that trash go *in* the can and not *next* to the can for me to deal with, I was a foolish, unenlightened oppressor of men and the free will of plants and everything went to hell once man had the arrogance to think he could control nature and thus other men, so NO he would not put the trash in the can, because I had no spiritual right to control living beings, and if I would simply stop caring about trash being in the can vs out of the can, I would feel so much better and no longer be victimized by this mindset, so really it's all my fault that he didn't put the trash in the can, because I was making a subconscious decision to maintain oppression. Shame on me. Eeeeeffff that.

In my household, I'd expect my husband to tell me what time the afternoon movie was starting, so I'd know when to get the kids ready. If he didn't volunteer the information, I would ask him before he left. If he left without telling me his plans, then nope, I would not have shoes on the kids when he walked in the door. Not because I'm spiteful or lazy, but because I'd think "He normally tells me what the plan is. Since he didn't tell me what the plan is, the plan must have changed". Even if he did the same thing every single week for 3 years, I'd still either a) ask what he needs from me or b) wait for him to tell me what he needs. If he asked why everyone wasn't ready, I would honestly say "I didn't know that you were still going to the movies. You didn't tell me the plan". I suspect this answer makes me a jerk, lol.

I believe that mental load is a thing. I just don't believe that a reasonable solution to this problem is for women to cry "I shouldn't have to say anything about it!", and silently stew about how unfair life is. I've never had a problem resolve by saying nothing and angrily waiting for someone else to notice I'm burdened and upset. That's magical thinking.

My ex husband spent a month calling the wrong number regarding a car accident where he was rear ended. Our insurance company told him to call the other company, verify some info with them, and we'd have a check within 5 days. ExH wrote the number down wrong and then proceeded to call that number every day for a month, leave voicemail with a company that was very much NOT an insurance company, and then act passive yet vaguely annoyed when a) he received no check and b) I wouldn't trouble shoot this problem for him, ("It was YOUR car and YOUR accident, husband. YOU are unemployed and home all day doing nothing. I am working 2 jobs and in school. YOU have to find the solution for this problem if you want your car fixed"). The problem only got resolved when our insurance company called ME and said "The other company said you never called them. If you don't call, the claim will be closed and you will lose out on $7,000". I got the correct number, called the other company, verified the info and had a check for $7000 in 5 days. And then I used that check to rent an apartment, move out, and hire a divorce lawyer because I was DONE.

It's not rocket science, but it is also not a hoarder house like the Collyer brother's home, lol. We're literally discussing *one* tub of stuff that was left on the floor of a (presumably walk-in) closet.

Because grown people aren't perfect and deserve grace? Because grown people have different acceptable levels of clutter, cleanliness? Grown people often need instruction and direction, too. There are wildly different standards in keeping house. Someone in this thread was talking about having the livingroom "company ready" at all times, and mentioned that their husband never remembers to have fresh flowers. I thought "Fresh flowers?! This has never been on my radar for 'company ready'. Ever". I bet their home is lovely and the flowers are so pretty, but I'm glad it's not a universal standard as I would fail to meet it, every single time unless I was reminded constantly, lol. There's so much energy tied up in feeling frustrated that she has to ask for help from him. She's a grown person living in that house, too. Why can't she use her words like a grown person?

I have a Dad like this. My Dad is a horrible gossip and will make up stories about his relatives for reasons I can't relate to, (like insisting my cousin is gay when she is not, and refusing to listen to anyone who tried to reason with him). If you've tried 3 or 4 times now and he still isn't getting it, then he probably won't ever get it or doesn't want to get it. It seems like the positive things your Dad gets out of posting this nonsense outweigh the negative of insulting you and your husband. Unfollow your dad on facebook, or maybe even unfriend and block him if you can do it without causing drama. It will be better for your sanity to limit the opportunities for nonsense.