My mom's situation is pretty indicative of our housing market. I live in what is supposed to be Low COL area with a depressed economy - we're losing population according to the last census. She bought her house in late 2016. The listing price for a move-in condition (cosmetic repairs needed) 2500 sf house built in 1889 was 110k. The house had been on the market for months by the time she made the offer. That same house could be listed at over 250k today. That's an unprecedented % increase in our area. What is selling for 110k now is not even worth looking at because of location or repairs needed. We have a dearth of affordable or reliable contractors. Most homes need some work, many are selling as-is. New homes are limited and generally listed at over 300k. the housing market in our area started ramping up about 2 years ago and prices have not even leveled out. Move-in conditions homes are still selling while the poor condition homes are sitting - generally vacant - longer. We have a huge number of homes built in the early part of the 20th century. I fear many of those can't sell, vacant properties will become impossible to repair and then torn down. It seems like landlords are selling at a higher rate than normal, trying to dump small or run-down properties.

SO is having a similar issue. We are also trying to stay in the same area so there are fewer opportunities.

I can see how 100k could be minimal for some parts of the country. In my county (not true for the entire state), you can live comfortably on half of that. For me, the lived experience of paycheck to paycheck was more brutal. Again, all of these are my (thankfully past) experience. There are three big concerns: housing, transportation, and healthcare. Rents or mortgage aren't paid until that last of the month check comes in. One major car repair could set you back much less a hospitalization. Access to credit may or may not exist. If you're living super close to your margin, your credit may have taken some hits or you might have credit cards with low limits. Another aspect is that there is nothing to cut back on. Kids aren't in activities because it's too pricey. One parent may stay at home because daycare costs are out of the budget. You might be adding a minimal amount to an investment account through employer accounts, but personal savings are constantly being dipped into because of things like car repairs etc. Forget a six month savings buffer or savings beyond that. It's very hard to get ahead when there is no buffer. It's also hard when you can't absorb increases of unknowns - like yearly insurance costs, health care costs, rising groceries. We (ex and I when ds was little) tried to get estimates from medical providers - like something simple such as the price of an office visit without insurance. The front desk always acted like you'd asked for the moon or something. Even with insurance in 2020, my hysterectomy expense was nearly 10k. Thankfully SO and I agreed we needed to get that expense out of the way and I didn't contribute to household expenses for months to pay off that debt. Otherwise, I'd still be paying on it. Car insurance costs, home insurance costs have risen much less groceries. I can see how all these rising costs are making paycheck to paycheck more of a reality for people. I do think it's a spectrum from the working poor to the working comfortable who want a quality of life that isn't too much to ask for - home, working cars, kids in activities, savings, health care, maybe a vacation once in a while.

At our library, we have paper copies of the returns but not the instructions. Our local IRS office used to keep all copies of the forms, but that was pre-Covid so not sure what they are doing now. I sat down with my son for the first few years of his taxes. We did Turbo Tax but I tried to help him understand why they were asking the questions that they did. The last year I helped him, he did the form while I watched.

Since I'll have to work much longer than I really want, my retirement plans are limited. Sleep Read Public outreach in a couple of areas study languages regional travel hosting more get togethers catch up on tv shows & movies

not caring what people think willing to confront issues moreso than in the past I'm dealing with a issue now and trying to decide my boundaries no more periods - the hysterectomy was the best investment that I've ever made clothing - I'm in the boho/vintage-ish/historybounding phase. I just started a part-time job at a library, so I'm exploring work attire for the first time since 2020 exploring new things without concern of whether I'm good enough to do so in a weird way - narrowing the bucket list. As I age and have health concerns and financial limits, the possiblities for my life are shifting. There are literally things that I wanted to do before that I can no longer consider an option. It's freeing in that it is helping me define who I can be now and in this place. better relationships - I feel like SO and I are compatible and we've never fought in the few years we've been together. Part of it is our age, where things like how one does the dishes really don't matter.

If none of that fixes it, I would have her tested for parasites such as giardia. https://www.cdc.gov/parasites/giardia/index.html

Fast food is alive and well in my city. The amount of time to eat meals has shifted, imo. SO's work went to 9 hour days and most people eat lunch at their desk. I just started working part-time and my lunch schedule is 30 minutes. I'm still trying to figure out a good system from the foods I already eat that is easier to prepare. I tend to eat slower. I'm also concerned about the amount of additives etc in US foods. I would assume a museum would have a more healthy cafeteria. Around here, restaurants that serve better food are usually sit down and not as affordable for most people.

One thing that hasn't been mentioned is that Visa and Mastercard are more readily accepted than American Express or Discover.

the last wedding I attended had an online registry. The couple are both adults who combined households, they didn't need stuff. Their registry includes some household items but they had their honeymoon broken down into days and events. So your $50 paid for them to take the train or use toward a hotel. Knowing that this couple loves to travel, I would have rather spent money on that part of their life than more stuff or just a general cash fund. I'm not against cash and have done that, but I like the idea of knowing that they cash is going toward an experience.

My diagnosis included severe pain, blood, and fever. That was in 2022. I've had mild flareups since then, but also that pain subsides within hours with a reset. I would go to the ER.

I am so sorry for your loss.

We decluttered a lot when we moved apartments this fall. We took a lot of books to my mom's house where I still have a bedroom and part of my old living room (she has 2). My goals for decluttering are. This is a to-do and a confession: organize my old living room at my mom's. I had boxed up some items but not others and it's a mess. DS lives with my mom and moved his weight bench in that room. I need to clean out more to make it completely useable for him. Prioritize my wardrobe and downsize it. I recently started a part-time job at a library, so I'm working out of the house for the first time since 2020. I've been doing something like Project 333 since November to help. Tackle papers. I have a huge pile to shred, more to just recycle. I also need to organize my dissertations files. I recently fine-tuned the focus of my work and can file a lot of notes for later research. Digital maintenance. I also need to clean up my emails.

At my undergraduate alma mater, all undergrad student positions are filled by work-study. They were generally 8 to 10 hours a week - not sure about those in resident halls. I worked in our tutoring center leading small group sessions. It was great because the experience helped me get a position as TA in grad school (limited in my department). I also had family concerns that kept me from working more hours. Pros: Experience doing something that fit my future goals time for me to study if people didn't show for tutoring I was able to renew my job each year Cons: My position did not offer summer hours - I did get a job as a admin assistant for one summer minimum wage

We're introverts and, in the past, we just havevn't had the space to entertain. We have one friend that hosts fairly involved dinner parties with multiple guests. He enjoys hosting and we don't feel the need to reciprocate there. No one else who attends those parties does either, so it's not just us. We have another couple we've been trying to get together with for the last few month as a reciprocation. Illness and holidays have made that hard. In our new apartment, we set it up so we could entertain. Even so, the space is small and with additional seating pulled in, we can host maybe an additional 6-8 people, maybe 12 if the weather is nice and we use the patio. We also don't have a lot of cookware or a big grill, so food prep for groups is harder. It's out of our budget to cater. Potlucks are fine but again we limited on food staging areas. I do prefer to reciprocate hosting because I do like hosting small informal groups.

I'm 56 and never heard of that either. I can't say if I've seen anything like that, but I would have never considered it for cramps. I would have just thought it was a style of furniture.

This. Kids are adults. Maybe they have plans with friends that they committed to long before your planned visit. Maybe dh is going to have some Zoom meetings that require no outside noise and perhaps discussion of confidential issues. My sister stays in a hotel when she comes to visit my mom. I live in the same town as my mom. I don't blame my sister.at.all. My mom was miffed for the first few years but she's over it now.

Cillian Murphy? :svengo: I adore his work, although I've not seen Oppenheimer.

My mom and SO's mom are both 87. They are not mean. My mom still has all of her faculties but her filter is slipping a bit. SO's mother has Alzheimer's and is a lock-down unit in a nursing home. She was always nice and still is very sweet, her mind is more akin to a toddler now. She's gets agitated at times but not mean. We've been warned that it could happen but has not as of yet.

Congratulations, Hobbes!!!

I had just started working as a veterianarian assistant when the police brought in an agressive dog that had been fatally shot by the police. I won't provide details, but the aftermath was one of the most traumatic events of working at that facilty. This thread kind of triggered those memories in not a good way. We had dogs and cats brought in that had been shot by BBs. Not nearly as gruesome but still traumatic to the animal. It's been so long, I can't remember specific injuries, but they did happen. And if anyone thinks shooting an animal with a BB will fix the behavior of the animal, we'll ...anyway. As for barking dogs, yes, they are annoying. My dog would bark at the neighbor's kids when out. I would get up and bring the dog in. She was mostly an indoor dog anyway. Some people are clueless. Some people shouldn't own animals.

I also didn't get my 23 done, but will aim for 24 in 24. My largest project was helping to build a "Viking" village at our local Ren Faire. The most mundane was changing out all my clothing hangers so they match, and the most fun was taking up bellydancing, which wasn't even on radar at the beginning of 2023.

Also, know that a cough and fatigue may still be present even if they're not contagious. SO & I had Covid before Thanksgiving. We both still have a lingering cough that comes on in the evenings. We're also still experiencing fatigue. This is true for a few other people we know who have had Covid recently.

Even if it's warmer than you're used to, take a sweater. The AC may be on in restaurants or stores. I would routinely get cold everytime we went out to eat. Enjoy!

A few thoughts. Tile is harder to change, so pick the color you like there. Paint is easier and sometimes you need to live with a tile color to make sure it really works. I would do a lighter color to start. If you find you'd rather prefer to do the whole room in that color, you can paint again later. If you decide to go with the azul color for everything, I would have it custom tinted to match perfectly. I would probably go to a professional paint store like Sherwin Williams to have that done.