PDA (public display of affection) in high school? How much is too much?

[LBC]

My dd will be attending our local public high school half time next year. Today we went to the school to drop off her course selection form. I waited in the van while she ran into the office. I was parked right in the front of the school, directly in front of the main office doors. It was lunch break, so there were students milling around everywhere. In front of me was a group of students sitting on the grass. I happened to notice that one of the girls was stroking another girl's hair. Having heard that same gender relationships are becoming more and more common among teens, I didn't think much of it, but then they started "making out". Back when I was in high school, at least the kids who wanted to make out went over to the far corner of the school field, or behind some cars in the parking lot, but right in the front of the school?:confused: That seems a bit over the top to me. And, of course, back when I was in school, there were no same gender relationships "out in the open".

 

I'm not trying to start a debate about same gender relationships. Even if it had been a guy and a girl, I think it would have been inappropriate. Am I a prude? It didn't help that my 13 year old son was in the van with me. That should open up some interesting conversations for the next few weeks.:blink:

 

So, how much PDA is too much? Is this outrageous, or am I just being naive?

 

Lori

[RebeccaS]

I am totally uncomfortable with such displays by persons of any age. I don't mind a little kiss, a hug...but making out? :ack2: Save it for later, tyvm.

 

And, incidentally, when I was in high school that was a big, huge no-no. It was right there in black and white in the handbook and was pretty well enforced as I recall.

[OnTheBrink]

Ewww, gross. IMPO (in my Puritanical opinion), anything beyond hand-holding is too much for public viewing. And, I grew up and went to high school in L.A. County.

[BamaTanya]

The first time I kissed dh publicly was in front of the church. ;) Now, I'll give him some kisses in front of our dc. Holding hands or an arm about the shoulder wouldn't bug me, but more than that should be reserved for private. IMHO

[Sophia]

Class of 1982. The kind of pda you described was very common in the Chicago high school suburbs...well except for the same gender. That was still taboo back then, don't know about now.

Oh, to answer your question~I think it's outrageous, but most high school kids don't care what anyone thinks.

Edited April 22, 2009 by Sophia

[mom2abcd]

I agree that PDA is inappropriate in a school setting.

 

And I will not be taking our two youngers to older dd's public high school soccer games any more. It's too bad they can't learn to support her by attending, but they are exposed to too much that goes there that's contrary to our beliefs.

 

I'd hs older dd in a heartbeat if she wasn't so resistant to the idea. Instead I pray a lot.

[Heather in Neverland]

I think PDA (as in making out in public) is tacky.

[Laurie4b]

Hand-holding, hugging, quick closed mouth kisses are all appropriate in public, imo. I don't remember if they were allowed in our high school--maybe the hand-holding. Anything more (of the "making out" variety) is inappropriate. A lot of schools have rules prohibiting it, but if yours doesn't, there's nothing you can do. Your dd will learn to ignore it.

[Lizzie in Ma]

Ewww, gross. IMPO (in my Puritanical opinion), anything beyond hand-holding is too much for public viewing. And, I grew up and went to high school in L.A. County.

 

:lol: can I use that one? IMPO :lol:

gotta agree too, hand holding is enough for public. Hugs of the friendship kind also fine. Making out? NO stinking way. If you wanted to do that where I went to school you had better be hiding under the bleachers if you didn't want detention.

[Ibbygirl]

I think those girls are being very exhibitionisitic. If they start making out in front of the school I think it's because they want to be seen and to be seen kissing another girl has even more shock value to get attention by. If your daughter is going to be attending that school I don't see any harm in even talking to the principal or vice principal and tell them what you saw and ask them what the school's policies are on this issue. As a parent, you have more of a powerful voice than a student who would go into the office to complain and I'm sure the principal doesn't want negative attention drawn to his/her school. If the principal should take your comments to heart and do something to crack down on those types of displays, it will be a good thing not only for your daughter, but the other students who are attending and being exposed to those types of displays.

 

As for the PDA in general, I pretty much agree with the other posters, a quick hug or a peck on the cheek or lips is okay, but beyond than that, people should really just get a room. ;) :)

[MamaT]

I think that is disgusting. I would agree with the above poster that it may help to call the school office. Surely that is against school rules??!!

 

I am very uncomfortable with excessive PDA. I think it is in poor taste.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

Well, around here, it would be a certain *kind* of girl or boy doing that. I wouldn't see a neighbor girl doing that, or she would be branded a sl** and would be excluded from parties and such with the "popular" kids. Not that the popular kids don't make out. They just wouldn't do it in public like that.

 

I *myself* am very anti PDA. I don't even like to hold hands in public. But to each their own. It doesn't bother me if someone is making out. It doesn't bother me if my daughter sees people making out in public. I want her to see firsthand how trashy it looks.

 

There are kids here that are doing much more than making out at school. The new thing in middle school now is called the "spit it out game". I'll let you use your imagination. They play this both at school and on the bus.

 

I could not imagine keeping my child away from a football game or something just because of some of the kids there. Just because some people choose to act in a way that is not fit for good society doesn't mean I have to punish *my* child for it.

[chiguirre]

:iagree: with Sophia. Except for the participants being gay, that level of PDA occured everyday in my well-regarded, suburban highschool almost 25 years ago.

[Peri]

My dd will be attending our local public high school half time next year. Today we went to the school to drop off her course selection form. I waited in the van while she ran into the office. I was parked right in the front of the school, directly in front of the main office doors. It was lunch break, so there were students milling around everywhere. In front of me was a group of students sitting on the grass. I happened to notice that one of the girls was stroking another girl's hair. Having heard that same gender relationships are becoming more and more common among teens, I didn't think much of it, but then they started "making out". Back when I was in high school, at least the kids who wanted to make out went over to the far corner of the school field, or behind some cars in the parking lot, but right in the front of the school?:confused: That seems a bit over the top to me. And, of course, back when I was in school, there were no same gender relationships "out in the open".

 

I'm not trying to start a debate about same gender relationships. Even if it had been a guy and a girl, I think it would have been inappropriate. Am I a prude? It didn't help that my 13 year old son was in the van with me. That should open up some interesting conversations for the next few weeks.:blink:

 

So, how much PDA is too much? Is this outrageous, or am I just being naive?

 

Lori

 

Really? Back when I was in middle school girls and boys would kiss and makeout right in the middle of their group of friends in the middle of school. No one objected either.

[Blessedfamily]

It was not the norm in the urban area that I grew up in in the eighties. If you made out in public, you got labeled a trashy name. People definately objected. Not the parents- the other students objected themselves. It wasn't exactly traumatic. Just tacky.

Edited April 22, 2009 by Blessedfamily

[dirty ethel rackham]

Class of 1982. The kind of pda you described was very common in the Chicago high school suburbs...well except for the same gender.

 

 

Class of 81 at a Chicago suburban high school. LIke Sophia said - very common. Not even all that taboo - except for the parents:). I saw a whole lot more in the halls of the school. One teacher's favorite response - he would stand about 3 feet away and just stare with a bemused look on his face. When they looked up at him challenging him, he would say that he was taking notes for moves to make on his wife. They would be "eww gross" and walk away. Too funny.

[3lilreds in NC]

Really? Back when I was in middle school girls and boys would kiss and makeout right in the middle of their group of friends in the middle of school. No one objected either.

 

Interestingly, at my high school, there were certain couples who were all over each other all the time. No one said anything to them that I saw. It made me uncomfortable, but then, everyone knew that I was a prude. :D However, if you were one of the more noticable people, and by that I mean "popular" or someone that the teachers knew and liked, you would be told off.

 

ETA: I think that level of PDA in public is beyond inappropriate. I am someone who likes PDA, too. I think hand-holding is OK, maybe a quick kiss, but otherwise, save it for later, please. :ack2:

[Carrie12345]

Class of '95, here.

I don't seem to remember any real "making out" in the open. Definitely lots of goodbye kisses when switching classes (which the staff didn't make a big deal over). Quite a bit cuddly/huggy stuff going on at the lockers (which the staff DID make a big deal over... trust me;)). But heavy duty making out was a little more private.

[Jenny in Florida]

I went to high school in the suburbs in the late 70s/early 80s. It would have been unusual for a same-sex couple to be so open, but kissing, hugging, holding hands and a bit of mild groping would have been no big deal.

 

For what it's worth, a couple of any configuration doing heavy make-out stuff in public would likely make my daughter uncomfortable. And in my perfect world, this sort of thing would not be allowed at school. But I don't think it's unusual or particularly shocking.

[Tap]

Common when I was in school, and still common from what I have seen. If the kids get caught, it is (and was) simply a 'knock it off' comment from the teachers, nothing more.

[Kate in Arabia]

I went to an all-girls school, I don't recall anything of that nature.

 

I was at the local English-speaking school the other day waiting for my kids to finish soccer and there was a group of highschool aged kids hanging out at the front gate (I was parked right in front). They were using some really foul language (mixed group) -- I guess that too is par for the course these days, but I don't remember much of that going on at my school either.

 

Maybe I was really sheltered (or I'm just really old)