Encouragement for moms of boys...

[chickenpatty]

I received this article in an email today and found it very encouraging.

 

(It has a little Christian content.)

[Nestof3]

That was light-hearted and cute. Thanks for the chuckle! :D

[Aggie]

We only have one boy, but something she said happened in my life before the boy was born.

 

Our 2 little girly girls were always well-behaved and sweet and polite. We had friends who had 2 boys the same ages as our girls. After we would visit them, I would say to dh, "They need a parenting book." Those boys were wild. Their mom used to have to rearrange furniture to keep the boys from donning capes and jumping off dressers. Gasp!

 

Then...we had a boy. I called my friend within the first year and apologized for thinking my parenting was so superior. They thought it was funny, though.:001_smile:

 

Our son is 7 now and I still say, "I'm not prepared to raise a boy!"

[Nestof3]

We only have one boy, but something she said happened in my life before the boy was born.

 

Our 2 little girly girls were always well-behaved and sweet and polite. We had friends who had 2 boys the same ages as our girls. After we would visit them, I would say to dh, "They need a parenting book." Those boys were wild. Their mom used to have to rearrange furniture to keep the boys from donning capes and jumping off dressers. Gasp!

 

Then...we had a boy. I called my friend within the first year and apologized for thinking my parenting was so superior. They thought it was funny, though.:001_smile:

 

Our son is 7 now and I still say, "I'm not prepared to raise a boy!"

 

Aggie,

 

My sister-in-law told me that my boys were good birth control for them.

 

:w00t:

 

I never did receive an apology, but their first was a girl, and she is currently pregnant with a boy. :lurk5:

[Aggie]

Aggie,

 

My sister-in-law told me that my boys were good birth control for them.

 

:w00t:

 

I never did receive an apology, but their first was a girl, and she is currently pregnant with a boy. :lurk5:

 

Your apology will be coming soon!:lol:

[MeanestMomInMidwest]

very cute. thanks for posting

[Mom-ninja.]

I needed to read that today. I had the pleasure of picking out eye glass frames for myself with all my boys in tow. 'Nough said.

[Desert Rat]

What a sweet message. This mother of boys takes that to heart.

Here's my boy story. I met up with a high school chum after we had both had one child. His was a girl. Mine a boy. He was talking about taking his daughter to the theater and concerts. I said that was awesome he could do that with his little cutie. He looked at me and with this horrible expression said, "You're not exposing your child to culture, yet?! I'm so surprised!" I replied, with a gentle smile on my face, "You don't have a boy." :o

[skaterbabs]

My boys are the reason I will NEVER utter the words "I hope you have a child JUST LIKE YOU!"

 

 

 

I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy- let alone a future daughter-in-law. :glare:

[Guest]

Thank you for sharing that. i sooo needed it.

[Peela]

I thought I was a pretty cool mum with my dd. Easy child. Sweet. Mothering was easy.

Then along came my boy. Wow- if I hadnt had him, I would have far less compassion for mothers who have a hard time being mothers. But he made me grow in a way my dd never did, because he pushed me to my edge over and over. Still does.

[Christine]

:tongue_smilie:;)

 

I can totally relate to that article. . .except for the fact that she has a daughter. (My "scale" is completely tipped; while her's offers some balance.)

 

I wonder if it is "hard-wired" in boys to be protective of girls? I don't know, nor have I ever seen evidence of it, and a couple of mine are older than hers. One of my sons has massive reactions to "cold", so if he ever gave a coat up to a girl it would be a huge clue to me to start prepping for a wedding.

 

Oh, but just so you know, I've now been a mother-of-boys long enough that I can readily identify that "mother-of-girls" look. The one that says, "they need a parenting book" or, more likely, "let's not make friends with them".

 

Of course, my house is the choice pick for get-togethers as I seem immune to noise and the playing of indoor tag (if the weather is bad), and for some reason I own very few breakable items. . .

 

Girls are a quandry to me now. . .I hope I'm blessed with some awesome / understanding daughters-in-law at some point. And heaven forbid I'm given grand-daughters!

[Twinmom]

I really needed to read that article today! I have three boys and one girl, just as the author. My boys cannot manage to sit in the classroom for more than 5 minutes without something being flung, broken or being asked to PLEASE STOP TALKING AND LISTEN!!! :glare: One of them cut off the other's finger by slamming it in a door, another dislocates his shoulder frequently after a bad incident in a swimming pool, and our hardwood floors at the bottom of each staircase bear the scars of flying Star Wars figures. Yet, they always stop and let "girls go first" through a door, come and "rescue" me from the dog when she trieds to wrestle with me, pick me flowers from the yard or bring me a worm as a gift. They are exhausting, wonderful contradictions!

 

Yesterday, our neighbor called to complain that my 6 year old was riding his bike across her lawn and through her spent daffodils. She was horrified! We've had several incidents like that one since she moved here. She has an infant boy, maybe 6 months...I reminded myself that her day was coming and that I'd be there to show her compassion! :D

[3lilreds in NC]

 

Our son is 7 now and I still say, "I'm not prepared to raise a boy!"

 

My boy is only 19 months and I *know* I'm not prepared to raise him. :lol: Yesterday, I watched him clean off the seat of one of those old one-piece school desks with the desk attached - KWIM? I thought he wanted to sit in it. Turns out he wanted to get up on the seat and climb over the back of the couch. Oy. He was also standing on top of my end table later in the day. These are things my girls never thought of. He certainly keeps me on my toes!

 

Thanks for this article, Patty! I need ALL the encouragement I can get.

[Nestof3]

:tongue_smilie:;)

 

I wonder if it is "hard-wired" in boys to be protective of girls? I don't know, nor have I ever seen evidence of it, and a couple of mine are older than hers. One of my sons has massive reactions to "cold", so if he ever gave a coat up to a girl it would be a huge clue to me to start prepping for a wedding.

 

Girls are a quandry to me now. . .I hope I'm blessed with some awesome / understanding daughters-in-law at some point. And heaven forbid I'm given grand-daughters!

 

I look foward to having the daughters-in-law so I can have some females in the family, but boys are great -- and I find much easier when they are older. Well, okay, I only have one older one, but still.

 

As for the protective thing -- I don't see any of that in the young ones, but Aaron is very big on the protector, care-taker thing. He thrives on it. I noticed a connection between the gentlemanly attitude he has toward me and when he started desiring to be the gentleman to a young lady -- late puberty. Perhaps he sees it as preparation. I think he does see a correlation between how a young man treats his parents and his wife and how a young lady treats her parents and her husband.

 

But, Nathan and Ben give no thoughts to protecting anyone except their mama. ;)

[Danestress]

Yesterday, our neighbor called to complain that my 6 year old was riding his bike across her lawn and through her spent daffodils. She was horrified! We've had several incidents like that one since she moved here. She has an infant boy, maybe 6 months...I reminded myself that her day was coming and that I'd be there to show her compassion! :D

 

This sort of makes me sad. She needs compassion for having a boy?

 

There is nothing in my whole life that has been as fun as raising a pack of boys. I've loved almost every single minute of it and wouldn't trade it for anything in the whole world (though I might have traded a few days here and there when my oldest was about 15, lol).

 

I really don't understand why women seem to find it so hard. I mean, I think mothering is hard and some days are just hard and I am glad we can come here on the hard days for some encouragement because we all need it. But truly, I don't relate to the idea that boys are this huge huge challenge. Mine are fun, polite, curious, great readers, certainly capable of sitting still when they need to (though they are wiggly too at time, and I'm not sure why that seems hard). Maybe it seems harder if you have already had a girl and that is your "norm?"

 

I would be horrified if your children rode their bikes through my lawn and garden, though. Well, not horrified, but not tolerant.

[Jean in Wisc]

There was a family who always attended library story at the same time we did. The mom had one sweet little girl. I had a girl and two boys. She claimed, very loudly, that the only difference between boys and girls was in how they were raised. Several of us chuckled...

 

Fast forward to a few years later when she had her 2nd child. One day, when she found her sweet bundle of less-than-a-year-old boy climbing to the TOP of the bookshelves, she plucked the urchin, kicking and screaming, off the shelf, turned to the rest of us quietly observing, and said just as adamantly, (with NO comment from the rest of us), "O.K. You are right. There IS a difference between boys a girls!"

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

I always thought she was going to be a better nurse for having had that sweet bundle of energy in her life!

Edited April 15, 2009 by Jean in Wisc

[Nestof3]

This sort of makes me sad. She needs compassion for having a boy?

 

There is nothing in my whole life that has been as fun as raising a pack of boys. I've loved almost every single minute of it and wouldn't trade it for anything in the whole world (though I might have traded a few days here and there when my oldest was about 15, lol).

 

I really don't understand why women seem to find it so hard. I mean, I think mothering is hard and some days are just hard and I am glad we can come here on the hard days for some encouragement because we all need it. But truly, I don't relate to the idea that boys are this huge huge challenge. Mine are fun, polite, curious, great readers, certainly capable of sitting still when they need to (though they are wiggly too at time, and I'm not sure why that seems hard). Maybe it seems harder if you have already had a girl and that is your "norm?"

 

I would be horrified if your children rode their bikes through my lawn and garden, though. Well, not horrified, but not tolerant.

 

I would have to say I agree with what you've said. I'm sorry, but I don't think riding a bike through someone else's lawn is a gender thing -- I think it's a boundary thing. I do think some children have to be told that they don't go into other people's yards without permission while some children just get this intuitively. I have to remind boys and girls not to run in my flower beds -- expecially this time of year when the perrenials are trying to come up through the mulch.

 

My boys are also fun, polite, curious, great readers, capable of sitting still (they sit still for over two hours each Sunday), and very affectionate.

 

Differences I see are: the need to wrestle and find ways to show strength, more physical, louder, more forgetful about everyday things, more physically competitive. I do see girls that have the traits and boys that do not, but this is what I typically see.

[LisaKinVA]

I'm the mother of 3 girls and 2 boys...

 

My first boy was not the rambunctious type. He didn't climb, make a mess (yes, he was a NEAT eater)... I didn't have to baby proof.

 

Next, came my 1st dd. I about pulled my hair out. She cried. She was a bundle of emotion from day 1. She could go from happy to heartbroken in a nano-second (and still does). When I found out I was pregnant with #3, I cried. I didn't know what I was going to do if it was a GIRL!

 

#3 is a boy...typical "does his math practice standing on his head" boy. Baby-proofing didn't matter (well, except for the bolting shelves to the walls). He just ripped the baby proofing materials off and kept on truckin. He's also the one who thought everything was funny. Hiding in the woods, not responding to calls, frantic mom calls the police and he thinks it's funny! He is tiring.

 

#4 is a girl... Maybe #3 rubbed of on her too much, I don't know. She can be as big a handful as our #3 is. Oh, but with DRAMA, and toes and nails painted.

 

#5 is a girl. I'm holding my breath, hoping she's the easy one.

 

But, so far, in my life, my easiest child, hands-down was #1 -- a boy. A sensitive, sweet, quiet, baby boy -- who I never worried about.

 

Okay, I must simply have weird kids.

[Nestof3]

But, so far, in my life, my easiest child, hands-down was #1 -- a boy. A sensitive, sweet, quiet, baby boy -- who I never worried about.

 

Okay, I must simply have weird kids.

 

No, you don't have weird kids. :) Nathan -- my first -- sounds just like your first -- well, when he was little, anyway. He did everything I asked him to do so sweetly. He always put things back where they belonged. He never got into trouble. He loved entertaining himself. He is still like this for the most part, but much more verbal about how he feels and is MUCH more passionate about all emotions.

 

He made me wonder why there were so many parenting books written. Well, I had already read many of them before he was born because I became mom to an 8 year old that I didn't understand one bit. He and I were like night and day. I just figured it was because we were not biologically related. HA HA Then came Ben -- Aaron's twin. But, Aaron is the joy of my life -- well, all of them are, but it's a more peaceful joy. :)

[Peggy in Va]

Very sweet indeed. They are definitely a different breed.

 

But I wouldn't trade my three ds for anything in the world. They have always kept me on my toes. From oldest ds bathing a stuffed frog in the toilet and then bailing out the water at 2yrs, to sitting on his skateboard and riding it down a very very steep and dangerous hill when he was about 14, to middle ds throwing football passes to himself in the living room, to youngest ds using the back of a sofa that sits in front of 3 six foot tall old single pane glass windows and a huge cast iron radiator as a balance beam when he was about 2.

 

Yep, different breed, but love um' all. Of course it would have been nice to have just one other female in the house (not including the dog and hamsters).:)

[Twinmom]

This sort of makes me sad. She needs compassion for having a boy?

 

I would be horrified if your children rode their bikes through my lawn and garden, though. Well, not horrified, but not tolerant.

 

You are misunderstanding my meaning. I LOVE having my boys! They are fabulous bundles of energy. What I mean by compassion is that my neighbor completely does not understand the natural adventure-seeking behavior of boys and sees it as misbehavior. She is going to completely be taken by surprise when her little sweet compliant baby suddenly wants to climb on top of the kitchen table! She's just that type of person. So, I'll have compassion for her in the sense that I know she's in for quite a shock! She gets antsy even when she sees my boys playing cars in their own yard...too active for her. I think that she is used to only quiet little girls.

 

As for the bike riding thing...of course he was wrong to do that! That was completely against the rules of our house and he lost his bike. I assumed that would go without saying... :confused:

[Jean in Wisc]

 

As for the bike riding thing...of course he was wrong to do that! That was completely against the rules of our house and he lost his bike. I assumed that would go without saying... :confused:

 

I was thinking, "Gee, I think one of my boys was 6 years old before it even occurred to him that doing the the things I told him to do was an option!"

 

He was born with a stubborn rebellion, and that put together with his normal boyish view of life left me constantly scrambling to keep him from doing all the wrong and embarrassing things that he seemed to be able to come up with.

 

I'm sure plenty of folks thought I was the worst parent they had come across.

 

That is why I tomato staked.

 

Yup. Compassion for the mom who is working SO HARD and is feeling SO INADEQUATE for the job. It is such a hard job raising a child like this!

 

My cousin said she could never figure out why people had such misbehaving children. All one had to do was to tell the child to stop or inform them of the rules! And then she had Daniel... She says that is when she quit giving out parenting advice. LOL!

 

Jean

[Karen sn]

I received this article in an email today and found it very encouraging.

 

(It has a little Christian content.)

 

That was so beautiful I literally have tears welling up. Not falling mind you - just welling.

 

I have a dear friend with 3 boys. For the longest time, whenever I thought about them I imagined there were 4 boys because I was very much used to girls and those 3 boys had the energy of 4 or 5 wild kids. But "the 3 boys" as they later came to be known - were very very sweet at heart and LOVED my dd because she was the only girl they knew who could take what they dished out and give it back. They respected her.

 

They are the kind of boys that you hope your dd marries but when they come over you don't bother cleaning first.

But boy, I'll take this over preteen female hormones anyday!!!!

 

 

My boy is 7 months old and I know this is going to be a long trip!

He is sooooo active, fights sleeping for days and then finally takes a nap for 4 hours because he just. can't. hold. his. head. up.

 

Girls are easier in the beginning - boys are easier later on.......

 

ETA I just read all the replies, and I have to say that I really wanted this baby to be a boy. If we had another girl, I think I would have been depressed!

I LOVE my dd. Physically she is as strong as or stronger than her boy friends and for that I have always been thankful. But she can sit still for several hours (at the Jewish Temple) and all the old ladies comment on that. But the hormones!!!! OMG!!! I could not do the hormones again.

Edited April 15, 2009 by Karen sn

[Karen sn]

 

Then...we had a boy. I called my friend within the first year and apologized for thinking my parenting was so superior. They thought it was funny, though.:001_smile:

 

 

 

YES! Literally, within the 1st year - you know that boys are different than girls!

[BakersDozen]

I really don't understand why women seem to find it so hard. I mean, I think mothering is hard and some days are just hard and I am glad we can come here on the hard days for some encouragement because we all need it. But truly, I don't relate to the idea that boys are this huge huge challenge. Mine are fun, polite, curious, great readers, certainly capable of sitting still when they need to (though they are wiggly too at time, and I'm not sure why that seems hard).

:iagree:

 

Girls are easier in the beginning - boys are easier later on.......

See, I've found my boys to be easier from the get-go! Maybe God will bless me with a few more boys in the future to give me a better balance/perspective but for now I can't say that boys are harder at any point. What I can say is that they are tons of fun, just like my girls. ;)

[Karen sn]

This sort of makes me sad. She needs compassion for having a boy?

 

There is nothing in my whole life that has been as fun as raising a pack of boys. I've loved almost every single minute of it and wouldn't trade it for anything in the whole world (though I might have traded a few days here and there when my oldest was about 15, lol).

 

I really don't understand why women seem to find it so hard. I mean, I think mothering is hard and some days are just hard and I am glad we can come here on the hard days for some encouragement because we all need it. But truly, I don't relate to the idea that boys are this huge huge challenge. Mine are fun, polite, curious, great readers, certainly capable of sitting still when they need to (though they are wiggly too at time, and I'm not sure why that seems hard). Maybe it seems harder if you have already had a girl and that is your "norm?"

 

I would be horrified if your children rode their bikes through my lawn and garden, though. Well, not horrified, but not tolerant.

 

I really think she meant it in jest.

More of a "Oh, wait and see dear neighbor what your son will do. And when he rides his bike absentmindedly in my flowers, I will laugh with you."

[Twinmom]

I was thinking, "Gee, I think one of my boys was 6 years old before it even occurred to him that doing the the things I told him to do was an option!"

 

He was born with a stubborn rebellion, and that put together with his normal boyish view of life left me constantly scrambling to keep him from doing all the wrong and embarrassing things that he seemed to be able to come up with.

 

I'm sure plenty of folks thought I was the worst parent they had come across.

 

That is why I tomato staked.

 

Yup. Compassion for the mom who is working SO HARD and is feeling SO INADEQUATE for the job. It is such a hard job raising a child like this!

 

My cousin said she could never figure out why people had such misbehaving children. All one had to do was to tell the child to stop or inform them of the rules! And then she had Daniel... She says that is when she quit giving out parenting advice. LOL!

 

Jean

 

I really think she meant it in jest.

More of a "Oh, wait and see dear neighbor what your son will do. And when he rides his bike absentmindedly in my flowers, I will laugh with you."

 

:grouphug:, thanks for getting it! You all made me feel much better! Now I can go back to enjoying this very encouraging thread. And I WILL laugh with my neighbor when her DS eventually runs through my perennials...or, more likely, picks them all to make a bouquet for Momma! My tulips are pretty bright colored and attractive to young boys (ask me how I know! ;)). After all, encouraging a neighbor in her parenting journey is so much more important than perennials, after all...

Edited April 15, 2009 by Twinmom

[elise1mds]

That's just awesome. One of my friends had a girl shortly after my son was born. She never understood why I couldn't just "reason" with him the way she could with her daughter.

 

Her boy is about to turn 3 now, and she calls me on at least a weekly basis for advice.

 

I just smile...

[Catherine]

I have 4 now, had 5 last year (exchange student), and my response to many of the comments you all have made is that boys are as individual as girls. Mine are all so different from each other!

 

My eldest has always been extremely daring and active. He's almost 16 now and it hasn't changed. My middle is sweet, compliant, very easy to raise, not very active or athletic. He's NOT a risk taker, not at all.

 

Having these wonderful guys around for a few years has given me a chance to see the benefits and liabilities of their traits. Being daring makes you a pain to mom when you are a toddler, but is a very beneficial trait when you are striking out on your own. Being compliant makes things easy for mom, but can be dangerous with peers. I am so grateful for the lessons these boys have taught me. But, it can be a long road at times.

[Surfside Academy]

Great article! I was an only child so my mom just cannot understand my 3 boys. She is convinced that they're destined for reform school. They don't always jump up and greet her and are usually arguing/fighting or causing chaos somewhere in the house.

 

I try and explain that it's really just normal boy behavior but she still doesn't believe me. We have tea with her about once a month (to give them a little culture) and that seems to appease her for awhile. :D I should pass this article onto her...

[Jeannie in NJ]

once, when ds was much younger, we were watching gymnastics in the Olympics and ds decided to use the back of the sofa as a balance beam. He fell off, was not hurt but both dh and I in our best sports commentater voices both said "And he fails to stick the landing".

 

Another time when he first started taking karate at age 5, he decided to practice breaking boards, the only problem was that he was going to use my glass french doors as background for the boards. I was able to barely stop him in time and send him outside to break boards.

[AnnetteB]

 

Yesterday, our neighbor called to complain that my 6 year old was riding his bike across her lawn and through her spent daffodils. She was horrified! We've had several incidents like that one since she moved here. She has an infant boy, maybe 6 months...I reminded myself that her day was coming and that I'd be there to show her compassion! :D

 

Years ago, a neighbor phoned the police to complain that our then 6 year old rode his bike on his dirt! The man was watering the bare dirt and warned my little towhead as he rode by on his bicycle, "If you ride your bike on my yard I will squirt you with the hose." Gregg came home wet and smiling. When he told us about it we wondered if the neighbor was seeing things in the same way our ds was? A while later a very nice policeman was at our door and the neighbor behind him glaring :glare: The policeman smoothed it all over and we apologized, but what a moment when the police are at your door!

[Danestress]

I didn't mean to make you feel defensive. I know from your past posting that you enjoy your kids!

 

There was something about the whole tone of the conversation that was bothering me, but I'm not sure why - but it wasn't really your contributions. It sounded a lot like, "Before I had a boy, I thought boy parents were just not as good of parents as I am, but now that I have a boy, I see how difficult they are."

 

I just don't think boys are that difficult and I don't notice them behaving badly compared to girls. More energy? Yes. But less of other negative things that actually seem worse to me.

 

Anyway, we live in a culture that really doesn't value males, and it starts young! I can't tell you how many "poor you" comments I got when I was pregnant with twins and then when I was pushing them in a stroller. I wonder if you had that experience. The interesting thing is that I was in California, and I noticed that Hispanics (people I didn't even know - just workmen and women passing by) were so positive about them. I never heard a "poor you" from them, and typically heard things like "God must really love you," which, despite the questionable theology, seemed to indicate a positive attitude toward boys!

[Year Round Mom]

I have one boy (5yo) and two girls (3,1yo) and am trying to figure out what makes all three tick! How are they different? What differences fall in the gender catagory, and which ones are because of personality traits?

 

I grew up in a home with literally no males (my dad died when I was 11 and my bro was so crazy/violent he had to be moved to an institution). Even our pet fish was female. So I have no idea how raising boys is supposed to be different than raising girls. I let all my kids climb and jump off of the sofa and they may sit on the coffee table (no standing allowed!). But I understand that that is just the tip of the iceberg.

 

I think there is truth in what the other poster's have said: teach our sons to be courteous and kind, especially to girls/women. DH always has my son open the door when we all come home from wherever. He also lets DS wrestle him, but never lets him wrestle me (I personally don't mind it, but I do want to help DH raise a courteous man!)

 

Sure is good DH knows how to raise a boy, because I sure don't!

[tinkgumby]

Years ago, a neighbor phoned the police to complain that our then 6 year old rode his bike on his dirt! <snip> A while later a very nice policeman was at our door and the neighbor behind him glaring :glare: The policeman smoothed it all over and we apologized, but what a moment when the police are at your door!

 

Seriously!?!? He called the cops for someone riding on his DIRT?!?! :confused: That's . . . a different philosophy than I have. I mean, I guess it was his property and all, but good grief! Lighten up, mister!

 

As far as this thread goes in general, I have to say that I adore my two boys, and never knew before being a mom how sweet and loving boys could be. They give me hugs and kisses and cuddles constantly, and they keep scuffling and wrestling to a minimum. I love exploring bugs and telling knock-knock jokes and doing Cub Scouts (which I always wanted to do growing up - now's my chance!). :D

 

That being said, we have had our fair share of trips to the ER and embarrassing situations. It's all part of the package. (:

[eight_gregorys]

What a sweet message. This mother of boys takes that to heart.

Here's my boy story. I met up with a high school chum after we had both had one child. His was a girl. Mine a boy. He was talking about taking his daughter to the theater and concerts. I said that was awesome he could do that with his little cutie. He looked at me and with this horrible expression said, "You're not exposing your child to culture, yet?! I'm so surprised!" I replied, with a gentle smile on my face, "You don't have a boy." :o

 

It's so funny you said that. My first was a little girl who's favorite activity at 3 was watching plays at an ampitheater at the beach. She LOVED it and begged to go. I haven't been since my son was born. :glare: We now have four boys and and two daughters. I do enjoy those quiet times with just my girls sometimes.

 

Blessings,

 

Andrea