When a change in employment looms on the horizon, do you...

[Liz CA]

have limits to where you will move or do most of you leave it wide open so you can better evaluate any and all offers? Do you crawl into a corner and quiver?

 

We are seriously facing this scenario in 2009 and I want to draw on the collective experiences of the hive.

 

We have honestly never considered moving east of the Rockies but we would consider moving up and down the West Coast (now in Northern CA).

 

For those who have been through this, how did you handle it? What criteria should we set, if any?

Overall, this should be easier than ten years ago when we made a major move. Our ds is almost eighteen and attending college. I have one part-time job I can do from anywhere in the U.S.

[RebeccaS]

Things we considered were

 

a. church locations

b. Family (we're very close to family)

 

That meant, for us, moving from PA (1/2 way between family in MD in OH) to Ohio. We did more with my family over dh's family and the church here has a lot of small kids and a lot of homeschoolers. Good all around for us.

[JenneinCA]

We just did this. We were in a suburb of Phoenix and were told they were closing our location. We could relocate anywhere that the company had offices. And they have lots of offices.

 

We first curled up in a little ball and ranted and complained that we didn't want to move anywhere. We had 60 days to have a new job in a new location or be unemployed.

 

Then we looked at the projects that were available and figured out which ones he was interested in doing. This limited our choices drastically. Our options immediately became Denver, Seattle, Mountain View (San Francisco Area), New York City and Los Angeles. We decided we didn't want to go to New York City, too cold too urban and way to far away from everything we knew. It would be our final choice. Next he sent email to all the groups he was still interested in. Here is where we lost Denver, Seattle and Los Angeles. They didn't respond to the email in a timely fashion. A week is forever when you are counting days.

 

Next he went to Mountain View and interviewed with the groups he was interested in. Of those three groups (Launch, YouTube, and Calendar), it was an even split with Calendar and Launch. Calendar offered him a job and he took it.

 

And so we ended up in Santa Clara near Mountain View. It was not our first choice. That would have been Denver. It had a better Cost-of-Living. But it does have the advantage that it is headquarters and we shouldn't have to relocate again if we don't want to.

 

The kids, honestly, were not consulted on the move. It wasn't as if we really had any choice. We HAD to go. Our criteria were simply... a job. I would love to have had the ability to have more choices but that wasn't our reality.

 

Good luck.

 

Jenne in CA

[Murphy101]

we are in the same boat...

 

for us, it's just not an option to move if it's at all possible to keep our house. the mortgage amount is really a great deal and as a large family, there's no way anyone would rent to us for the price of this house.

 

now, other than housing...

 

I insist on living in states where I can homeschool without terrible restrictions. So the most restrictive states would be off our list as well as any countries that it's illegal in.

 

I wouldn't mind him looking elsewhere, but it'd have to be a pretty good deal to make it worth leaving family and friends. It takes a long time to have roots and connections. To have someone you can call at 2am to help in an emergency.

 

oh, stupid to some I know, but I could not live somewhere that the kids don't have a backyard and we all have some space apart from neighbors. I coudn't stand living in the heart of NYC for example.

 

Right now, for us, worst case is that dh would have a very long commute to work if that's what he has to do to get a job that meets our needs.

[lynn]

Look at it as an adventure. You have to move where the jobs are so it may be out of area you consider "safe" so to speak. I never thought I'd want to live West of the mississippi. I was an east coast girl at heart. So when moving to tucson came up...I thought never, ever and that dh and the realtor had a lot of convincing to do. Well, within a day I fell in love with the place, it was nothing that I thought it was. the Desert is a beautiful place. My boys then 7 and 4 loved it as soon as we landed in tucson and look forward to moving back. All this to say you never know what you will and will not like until you give it a try. Can you travel with you dh to see if where he is interviewing is someplace you would like to live?

[Pam L in Mid Tenn]

Sometimes you have choices and sometimes you don't.

 

We just moved from La to Tn last spring. Dh did not have a choice of where he was to work... he was told when to report for work. :)

 

We did however have choices about where to live. At first we limited ourselves to "less than 30 minute commute". After looking around the entire area, speaking to others employed in the same office, and looking at lots of properties, we decided to move a little further out and have a little more room.

 

I am really not sure what you are asking. Are you asking about limiting where he will work? Where you will live?

[Barb_]

have limits to where you will move or do most of you leave it wide open so you can better evaluate any and all offers? Do you crawl into a corner and quiver?

 

We are seriously facing this scenario in 2009 and I want to draw on the collective experiences of the hive.

 

We have honestly never considered moving east of the Rockies but we would consider moving up and down the West Coast (now in Northern CA).

 

For those who have been through this, how did you handle it? What criteria should we set, if any?

Overall, this should be easier than ten years ago when we made a major move. Our ds is almost eighteen and attending college. I have one part-time job I can do from anywhere in the U.S.

 

Depends. Is this a choice? If dh is choosing to leave his job then he has the luxury of waiting for the right thing to come along. Otherwise, it is wise to go where the jobs are. More info would be helpful.

 

Barb

[phathui5]

Because I don't want to deal with selling our house and moving, I want to stay in the area.

[Janna]

Currently, this is the exact position we are in. Dh's last day at his job was last Monday.

 

For us, the only thing we have done and continue to do, is pray. I don't know where you are spiritually to know if that is offensive to you or not.

 

Dh was offered a job. From a human standpoint, we can't afford to be picky in this economy. From a human standpoint, dh should have said yes and not bat an eyelash.

 

We are trying *very* hard not to make our decisions based on a human standpoint. And don't get me wrong, it *is* hard.

 

Dh turned the offer down. We had prayed hard about it. It wasn't the right job for him. We have to trust that.

 

All that to say, we are open to anything, but hoping that we will be able to stay where we are, where we have roots. But ultimately, it's better to be where God wants us to be, rooted or not. :001_smile:

[Tess in the Burbs]

we moved from NC to TX with no job/home just because we wanted to ;-)

 

we moved from TX to NC for a job that got us closer to family

 

we moved from NC to WA when first married...with a house we had bought only 6 months earlier....and it was a great decision even though family was so far away...which led to the next thing...

 

we moved from WA to NC on 1 week notice just to get the job of dh's dreams

 

we moved from NC to VA out of desperation

 

and we are always open to moving for a job if it's the right situation. for us we would never go to CA or NYC. Most of the NE isn't on our radar but the right job would make it possible(again not NYC or Jersey most likely, lol). We considered FL for a milisecond and it's now on the never list. TX is also a never. so add AZ and NM in there as well, lol.

 

but honestly depending on the situation you do what you have to do regardless of location. We at times want to be closer to NC but taxes make a move back there a downfall and so we probably won't do it. we can make more money elsewhere. I know money isn't everything but you do need it to pay the bills!

 

heck, we considered a job in ARKANSAS once b/c the more I read about it the more I liked it. so do the salary comparison thing, read online about the town/state/region, and ask here what people like about their area. I have asked a few times for places I know nothing about and learned a lot!

 

good luck deciding!

[5Youngs]

We're right there with you.

Hubby's last day was 11-21.

He is doing some independent work here in AR, as something to keep him busy.

It turns out that he LOVES it!

It hasn't made much $ so far, but the opportunity is there.

He has decided that unless he gets an offer that is equal to our previous lifestyle, he's not taking it.

We'll downsize our house and adjust our spending.

Whatever it takes.

We've put resumes all over the country and we'll just assess the offers as they come.

I will not live in a city again.

I want some wide open spaces.........

It has actually been the best thing that has ever happened to our marriage and our family.

Our boys are seeing that money doesn't grow on trees and we are really appreciating all that we have been blessed with, along with seeing how much crap we've accumulated that we don't need.

It's bugging the heck out of our friends and neighbors that we are so happy and enjoying life through this insane time.

Hang in there.

[mcconnellboys]

My husband went through a major job search before moving here. We did not limit it and considered moving to Chicago, overseas, Iowa, and out to Washington state, among other places, from Louisiana where we were then living. We did research the areas of interest much more in depth if the interviewing process became very serious. We ended up turning down the Washington state position (twice), which was in association with Hanford, after finding out more about concerns with that facility.

 

We really wanted a larger city than where we're now living, but it has worked out fine for us. We're so centrally located that we've been able to visit tons of places we never would have been able to manage by car from the deep south. We've been all around the Great Lakes region, through Canada and back, several times. We've been up to Minneapolis and to Bayside, Wisconsin, more than once; we've been to Niagara Falls via Pennsylvania; we've been to Chicago many times (which I LOVE!). It's been great.

[Carol in Cal.]

One of my criteria has always been being able to come back to Silicon Valley. For that we have to stay in the real estate market here--keeping and renting out our bought-before-kids-when-we-had-two-good-incomes-and-also-carrying-low-property-taxes house.

 

It follows, then, that if we moved out of this area we would have to pick a place where we could afford the payments and expenses of another home with DH's income, at least until I got my income up and running.

 

I, personally, would find it relatively easy to live anywhere in the West, the Midwest, and the less urban/frantic areas of New England, but would find it hard to 'fit in' in the South or mid-Atlantic regions. That doesn't mean that they aren't lovely and that the people are not nice there--they are just too, too different for me to feel at home or to raise my DD there. So I, personally, would rule out those regions, although I do know lots of very nice people from them.

 

I would consider Alaska. Hawaii is too expensive.

 

We basically have a good home library and a good plan for homeschooling through middle school, so schools and libraries would not be big issues until ninth or tenth grade. I would want good or at least acceptable high schools available, public or private, because I don't think that we will homeschool through high school.

 

Other than that, I'm not worried.

[Liz CA]

Depends. Is this a choice? If dh is choosing to leave his job then he has the luxury of waiting for the right thing to come along. Otherwise, it is wise to go where the jobs are. More info would be helpful.

 

Barb

 

No, it's not our choice.

Business in his line of work is just about dried up in this area. Even the next metro area does not look very good.

We found several things in WA, most anything else is east, anywhere from AZ to NC and in between.

Either way it would take us farther away from family. We are not necessarily attached at the hip to family members and nobody is averse to getting on a plane or take a car trip but now we are 3.5 hours away and it works nicely.

[Liz CA]

Currently, this is the exact position we are in. Dh's last day at his job was last Monday.

 

For us, the only thing we have done and continue to do, is pray. I don't know where you are spiritually to know if that is offensive to you or not.

 

Dh was offered a job. From a human standpoint, we can't afford to be picky in this economy. From a human standpoint, dh should have said yes and not bat an eyelash.

 

We are trying *very* hard not to make our decisions based on a human standpoint. And don't get me wrong, it *is* hard.

 

Dh turned the offer down. We had prayed hard about it. It wasn't the right job for him. We have to trust that.

 

All that to say, we are open to anything, but hoping that we will be able to stay where we are, where we have roots. But ultimately, it's better to be where God wants us to be, rooted or not. :001_smile:

 

Very true! I have to go to my knees because I have nowhere else to go!

I know that I can live anywhere - after all other people live there too. I just hate times of uncertainty and not knowing what's coming down the pike.

[Liz CA]

One of my criteria has always been being able to come back to Silicon Valley. For that we have to stay in the real estate market here--keeping and renting out our bought-before-kids-when-we-had-two-good-incomes-and-also-carrying-low-property-taxes house.

 

It follows, then, that if we moved out of this area we would have to pick a place where we could afford the payments and expenses of another home with DH's income, at least until I got my income up and running.

 

I, personally, would find it relatively easy to live anywhere in the West, the Midwest, and the less urban/frantic areas of New England, but would find it hard to 'fit in' in the South or mid-Atlantic regions. That doesn't mean that they aren't lovely and that the people are not nice there--they are just too, too different for me to feel at home or to raise my DD there. So I, personally, would rule out those regions, although I do know lots of very nice people from them.

 

I would consider Alaska. Hawaii is too expensive.

 

We basically have a good home library and a good plan for homeschooling through middle school, so schools and libraries would not be big issues until ninth or tenth grade. I would want good or at least acceptable high schools available, public or private, because I don't think that we will homeschool through high school.

 

Other than that, I'm not worried.

 

You just hit the points there. I don't have to worry about homeschooling anymore since ds is in college now. I am right along with you on your assessment of desirable areas but I will pray to be open to anything. I would appreciate a good library and a few amenities, however overall we are much more comfortable in country areas versus urban areas.

[JoyfulMama]

DH just accepted his second new job in one year. So I am VERY familiar with checking out the country for desirable options... since we will be moving to another state AGAIN. :glare:

Because I like to eat and live indoors, I knew both times, that moving was highly likely. My DH had only lived in one county since he was born. I had lived in 3 states, and had made three major moves. For him, leaving family was hardest, as it was on his family. At times it felt as though I was the only one supporting him about moving away to find work. I wanted him to not limit himself based on geographics, since that would limit him on opportunities, and us all on finances.

I had two options: move for a new job for DH, or go back to work myself(and put the kids in school/daycare). Both times, it was an easy decision for me.

What I looked at: cost of living comparison, real estate availability (what could I get, what's available), population density, opportunites for homeschoolers (is there a homeschool presence).

What I didn't bother with: homeschooling laws (I started in one of the most difficult states, so anything was fine!), schools (did use to compare neighborhoods for home purchase, as resale benefit).

I do look at it as an adventure - I asked DH if he wanted to get a one year contract somewhere, and we'd explore a new place every year... but if we did that I would seriously downsize our posessions so I would have less to pack up and move! I'm exhausted! Good thing he didn't think that would be very much fun!

[Liz CA]

We just did this. We were in a suburb of Phoenix and were told they were closing our location. We could relocate anywhere that the company had offices. And they have lots of offices.

 

We first curled up in a little ball and ranted and complained that we didn't want to move anywhere. We had 60 days to have a new job in a new location or be unemployed.

 

Then we looked at the projects that were available and figured out which ones he was interested in doing. This limited our choices drastically. Our options immediately became Denver, Seattle, Mountain View (San Francisco Area), New York City and Los Angeles. We decided we didn't want to go to New York City, too cold too urban and way to far away from everything we knew. It would be our final choice. Next he sent email to all the groups he was still interested in. Here is where we lost Denver, Seattle and Los Angeles. They didn't respond to the email in a timely fashion. A week is forever when you are counting days.

 

Next he went to Mountain View and interviewed with the groups he was interested in. Of those three groups (Launch, YouTube, and Calendar), it was an even split with Calendar and Launch. Calendar offered him a job and he took it.

 

And so we ended up in Santa Clara near Mountain View. It was not our first choice. That would have been Denver. It had a better Cost-of-Living. But it does have the advantage that it is headquarters and we shouldn't have to relocate again if we don't want to.

 

The kids, honestly, were not consulted on the move. It wasn't as if we really had any choice. We HAD to go. Our criteria were simply... a job. I would love to have had the ability to have more choices but that wasn't our reality.

 

Good luck.

 

Jenne in CA

 

Yes, I can see where we are heading down the same road. Narrowing it down to a few choices that we consider better than the others.

Since we always lived in CA, it might be a nice surprise to be somewhere where the cost of living is not as high.

[Liz CA]

Sometimes you have choices and sometimes you don't.

 

I am really not sure what you are asking. Are you asking about limiting where he will work? Where you will live?

 

The reason I asked is because in his profession there are currently many jobs available overseas, anywhere from Australia to United Arab Emirates, also a few across the country from us.

Since this is not our choice but an unavoidable consequence of the economic times, I am wondering if we can afford to rule anything out because of a location we may not like. Is it important that you like the location or is it more important that you have a job there and you will sooner or later get used to the place?

[Laura Corin]

We normally leave it pretty open. If there's a place that one of us absolutely hates, then that is excluded initially, but we try to keep those places to a minimum. Then, when the ideas start to come in, we research like crazy, and take a short trip to the location if we can.

 

Good luck with it

 

Laura (previously resident of Bristol, Hull, southern France, Paris, Beijing, Taiwan, California, London, Hong Kong and south west China)

[5knights3maidens]

Well, dh's job is not looking good. But, he still has it and we are being very relaxed. Not worrying and letting God show us what to do. We went through a very hard time many years ago and I will not let myself worry or cry over this type of thing anymore. If I did you would have to scrape me up off the floor. Everything will come together. ;)

[TravelingChris]

We are a military family and don't get to choose where we live except in very minor circumstances. So far, many places that I thought wouldn't be good have turned out terrific and one place I thought would be great had turned out no so good for us with homeschooling and some other things. Since it is inevitable that I will move and since some of the places have some rather negative aspects, I choose to mostly ignore the negative and focus on the positive. I just moved here to Northern Virginia. My dh found me a great house in a great neighborhood. I choose to focus on that- not the horrible traffic situation, not the lousy condition of stores that I was accustomed to being much nicer, not the fact that I feel like a foreigner in my own country here near the Nation's Capital. I am also focusing on the fact that there are scores of museums and parks here to visit for free or very low cost. There are tons of performances many of which are free or very low cost. There are ingredients available here in stores that I could never get in the other areas I lived in. Movies come out here that never made it to areas I lived in previously. Yes, it is much more expensive but my huisband gets more money here too.

 

We make it a habit to visit attractions in each area and so, for example , when my daughter took a Florida history class at her co-op- she had visited more places in Florida in her slightly less than 2 years in Florida than the other kids had visited in their 8-13 years.