Bucket list with our nearly-adult kids?

[SKL]

What are some things you really want to do, or wish you had done, before your kids are/were grown?

My kids are in their last year of high school.  This is my eldest's last Christmas as a minor.  Here comes their last summer as minors.

Off and on, I feel like there are things I should have done or need to do before that magical 18th birthday.  Or before they start college.

I've tried to "do all the things" over the years, but I have regrets and worries about things I haven't done.  Which things can I still try to do?  My kids like to be their own boss for the most part ....

[Ottakee]

Practically, make sure they know the basics of taxes, insurance, saving, investing, how loans/credit work, etc.

For fun I asked mine all to name one place they wanted to go and all picked the same family vacation spot we have gone to almost every year of their lives.   This summer though we will stay ON Mackinac Island for a few days (before we always stayed in the much cheaper mainland city ) and we will do some special things.

[HomeAgain]

We have small lists, but mostly they came out of previous adventures.

• complete a mountain challenge.  There's one that is 7 hikes we can do if we put our minds to it.
• visit Action Park & Jay And Silent Bob's Secret Stash.
• hit up the weird and wonderful museums, like the Edward Gorey House and the Mutter Museum
• cook our way through the Good Eats books

These are here because life gets so hectic in young adulthood and we definitely don't get the family time like before. I don't have a list of things they must know by certain points.  We made sure our kids understand money, taxes, and basic skills.  We made sure they understand how often chores should be done like changing sheets or cleaning a bathroom.  They know how to use Youtube to their advantage for things like changing out a brake light or fixing a dishwasher.  Eighteen isn't a magical age and we want them to continue to be comfortable asking questions throughout life.  DS24 and his gf sat at the kitchen island the other night and watched dh do all the prep and then cooking for dinner.  She'd never had the opportunity to sit like that and see the steps of a more involved meal, so dh walked them through what he was doing and why.  They're still growing, still learning...and we just want to make sure they don't see a stopping point in education.

[whitestavern]

Travel. I love traveling with my young adults. I know our time as just 4 are winding down, so anytime I can make it work, I plan a trip for all of us. 

[WildflowerMom]

I wish I had taken ds somewhere internationally.  You have definitely checked that off the list though!   Your kids are blessed!   
 

ds22 still says his favorite time with me was a last minute, totally unplanned few day trip to nearby city.    We just made it up as we went.    He really loved it.    So for you, maybe a short trip with each kid instead of both?    Nothing big, just a road trip to a nearby locale and make the most of it once you’re there?   We stayed out late, ate at a bar (the same one) for every night at midnight, walked back late to the hotel, went on a ghost tour, just kind of made it up as we went.   

[katilac]

If they like to be their own bosses, give each one a budget to plan a family activity of their choice. 

This could be something local, like an escape room and dinner, or you could let them plan a short trip. 

If you've never taken each one on a special trip or activity with you, that is a great thing to do (and could mesh with the above, so the other kid isn't complaining about what their sibling chose, lol)

[SKL]

Some things I hope to do soon (most should have happened already):

Practical things:

• Getting around by city bus - something we've really never done in their lifetimes.
• Their first tax returns, this coming spring.
• Flying alone, if it becomes practical anytime soon.
• Upgrading to a grown-up passport and Real ID.
• Securing and taking possession of their legal documents.  For example, figuring out how to order a birth certificate and social security card.
• Real-life budgeting / personal financial management.
• Taking full responsibility for grown-up level family feeding (by the week at least).
• Taking full, knowledgeable responsibility for a car.
• So many other life skills that I've failed to pass down properly.

Fun things:

• Skiing.  None of us have ever skied!
• Planning and doing an interstate road trip without Mom.
• Upgrading their bedroom furniture / decor - right now they are using furniture I bought when they were 2-5 years old.
• ?? what else haven't we done that we all would like?

My eldest would not like to go on a trip or adventure without her sister.  She says she needs her sister there so she doesn't have to be a lone captive audience for the adult(s) to talk at.  (Well, tbh she may not be talking about me ... maybe just a mom & daughter thing would work ... but then we'd have to find something we both like to do ....)

 

[Eos]

We did a last homeschool field trip last spring to the Smithsonian and DC and it was perfect.  I had always wanted to go when they were younger but going as adults was much better with deep conversations about history, why museums exist, etc.  We also did some goofy things like rented a scooter on the Mall and took turns cruising on it which I never would have done with little kids.

[Eos]

I've also made my kids each a Box of Adulting - one of those little portable file folder holding boxes.  I bought hanging file holders and files and labeled them with personalized labels eg medical receipts for one, car receipts for another.  None of the three youngers have homes or file cabinets yet so these have worked well and kept me from being cranky that they're leaving their important papers around.  Going to cross-post with the adulting thread.

[DawnM]

Well, I don't know of specific things, we just talk A LOT!   LOL!

But I will say that after 18 is not too late if you miss things.   My kids call me all the time to ask me things they aren't sure of.   And we are all traveling overseas together this summer.   3 over 18 and then my 6 year old.   

We traveled a lot in the US and one of my kids and I were overseas together (ok, it was when I went to adopt him but that counts!)  We do family vacations a lot.....beach, Disney, Canada, national parks, across the US and back a couple of times, etc...

[Faith-manor]

I wish I had taken the time to type up all of recipes of their favorite main dishes and assemble cookbooks for them. I have spent a lot od time texting, emailing, and talking on the phone after the, "Mom, how do you make x,y,z?" messages. I could have saved myself a LOT time.

[ScoutTN]

28 minutes ago, Faith-manor said:

I wish I had taken the time to type up all of recipes of their favorite main dishes and assemble cookbooks for them. I have spent a lot od time texting, emailing, and talking on the phone after the, "Mom, how do you make x,y,z?" messages. I could have saved myself a LOT time.

Dd will have an apartment next school year (her sophomore year in college), so I am going to work on the recipe book this spring and summer for her. 

[Wheres Toto]

I actually just went away for an overnight with my 29 year old daughter and my 16 year old daughter last weekend.    I do at least one weekend away with my oldest daughter each year, usually to Niantic, Ct (large used bookstore, cute shops) but we went to the Punk Rock Flea Market this time.    She definitely still calls for advice, comes over to do laundry, etc so I don't feel like all that has to be done by 18.

Some of the stuff on SKL's list were things I didn't need to encourage - an interstate trip she did with friends driving to Florida from NJ with friends after her senior year of high school.   I don't think we gave her important documents until she moved into her own place.  I didn't think they were a good thing to have in her dorm room at college.  

Definitely talk a lot!