WildflowerMom Posted December 15, 2023 Share Posted December 15, 2023 Ds is engaged and I’d like to get them a couple of books/workbooks to read together. Christian content is ok if it’s not a lot. Secular is good. Anything yall recommend? I wish dh and I had read something, worked through a workbook, something, anything to prepare ourselves. I think it may have saved a little bit of heartache in the beginning. they live together and have seemed to work out some of those types of things (who does what, who cooks, who cleans, etc). So maybe a little deeper? Idk. Tia! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted December 15, 2023 Share Posted December 15, 2023 None of them. Seriously. Especially not the Christian ones (I am a Christian & I am saying this). Instead, get them a couple of sessions with a licensed counselor for either pre-marital counseling or for whenever they want to use them. 7 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted December 15, 2023 Share Posted December 15, 2023 Faith Harper's are the only good ones I've ever seen. They're sweary though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WildflowerMom Posted December 15, 2023 Author Share Posted December 15, 2023 10 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said: Faith Harper's are the only good ones I've ever seen. They're sweary though. Any experience with this one, Rosie? https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1621067629/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1702675730&sr=8-1 the reviews look good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted December 15, 2023 Share Posted December 15, 2023 7 minutes ago, WildflowerMom said: Any experience with this one, Rosie? https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1621067629/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1702675730&sr=8-1 the reviews look good. I just unearthed the workbook version of that the other day, but haven't got around to reading it. I recommend her boundaries workbook though. I given away at least half a dozen copies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted December 15, 2023 Share Posted December 15, 2023 The books from www.Baremarriage.com 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted December 15, 2023 Share Posted December 15, 2023 1 hour ago, Ottakee said: The books from www.Baremarriage.com I was coming back to say this. What I’ve seen is excellent. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted December 16, 2023 Share Posted December 16, 2023 2 hours ago, WildflowerMom said: Any experience with this one, Rosie? https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1621067629/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1702675730&sr=8-1 the reviews look good. Okay, I started reading and I would buy them the boundaries workbook and let them discover this one for themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clarita Posted December 16, 2023 Share Posted December 16, 2023 I agree with @TechWife a meeting with an actual pre-marriage counselor is a much better investment. What they bring to the table versus a book (even a very good book) is they are able to pin point for you the very specific quirks of your partner. Things came up in DH and my own pre-marital counseling session that 100% helped us through our first year of marriage. These were things no generic marriage book would have told us because they were about quirks/issues we each had that we didn't even know about. We went into counseling thinking we got this, and came out with tools and homework, which I give all the credit to helping us navigate some major things our first year. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted December 16, 2023 Share Posted December 16, 2023 I've never found any marriage books I like, but my best marriage advice is say what you need. Over communicate. If you want acknowledgment for having mopped the kitchen floor, tell your spouse, "I want you to say, "Ooohh! I love the clean kitchen floor that you mopped!" 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heartstrings Posted December 16, 2023 Share Posted December 16, 2023 I think the best advice I’ve heard is to read business books instead. Find a business book about partnerships and one about setting up systems. The book Fair Play sounds like a good one too, but I haven’t read it. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted December 16, 2023 Share Posted December 16, 2023 I’m just going to go ahead and plug my oft-cited, “It Takes One to Tango,” By Winifred Reilly. Although it’s not really meant to be a “let’s read it together!” Kind of book. But IMO, that is its strength. One person can read it and can influence the marriage whether or not the other person would ever read a marriage book in their life. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted December 16, 2023 Share Posted December 16, 2023 This is not a gift I would have liked. It would have felt too interfere-y and advice-y for my taste, but admittedly I was a very contrary person 😄 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted December 16, 2023 Share Posted December 16, 2023 1 hour ago, Heartstrings said: I think the best advice I’ve heard is to read business books instead. Find a business book about partnerships and one about setting up systems. The book Fair Play sounds like a good one too, but I haven’t read it. Business Books on communication, too. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busymama7 Posted December 16, 2023 Share Posted December 16, 2023 We were given The Act of Marriage when we were engaged and it was very helpful. It's from a Christian perspective. We waited for our wedding night and had limited knitty gritty knowledge so appreciated what we learned. Not sure if that's what you were looking for or not. I love the idea of some pre paid for counseling . 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WildflowerMom Posted December 16, 2023 Author Share Posted December 16, 2023 I’m going to ask them about pre-marital counseling. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted December 16, 2023 Share Posted December 16, 2023 9 hours ago, busymama7 said: We were given The Act of Marriage when we were engaged and it was very helpful. It's from a Christian perspective. We waited for our wedding night and had limited knitty gritty knowledge so appreciated what we learned. For anyone listening in for such a resource, the contemporary update to this is probably The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex. There is a version for guys. I have not read them, but I hear good things. It’s from the Bare Marriage folks that were mentioned earlier. 11 hours ago, katilac said: This is not a gift I would have liked. It would have felt too interfere-y and advice-y for my taste, but admittedly I was a very contrary person 😄 Good point. Whether or not it feels interfering for me depends a lot on who is giving it to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I talk to the trees Posted December 16, 2023 Share Posted December 16, 2023 11 hours ago, katilac said: This is not a gift I would have liked. It would have felt too interfere-y and advice-y for my taste, but admittedly I was a very contrary person 😄 Agree!! (Not the part about you being contrary, but the other bit! 😉) I have never been overly fond of my in-laws, but if my MIL had done this, I probably would have run as far and fast as I could! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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