Things people say that rub you wrong?

[JustEm]

7 minutes ago, Quill said:

This morphs over time; I don’t always have *one* woman who is my very best friend. I do have a friend right now that I would call my best friend, but there are some circumstances that made this more true this year. 
 

Most times I have 2 or 3 friends that are at the same level and I don’t distinguish one of them as the *best*, closest friend. Also, sometimes people move away or something else changes and that friend drops down to a more general friend. 

That all makes sense. For me, I've always been a one really close friend person, that while growing up changed but for the last 18 years has been the same person. This doesn't include dh, he truly is my best friend. But he does know that my friend of 18 years holds the same level of friendship as him minus the sexual relationship ( which really does change the entire dynamic into something very different from a close friend.)

Coincidentally, I just spent the weekend with her and her family by myself because she is moving 3 hours away next week. Not too far but with the stage of life she is at, all of her 4 kids are very young, it makes visiting difficult. So, I am scared of the possibility of a change in our friendship although I really don't think she'll ever not be my closest friend. I call her my second best friend because dh gets the top title, it is just a joke though because their is no easy term for our friendship level.

[Indigo Blue]

Just thought of something that really rubs me the wrong way. Those Lume commercials on YouTube. The one where the lady demonstrates how to apply it to your “cheeks”. Gross. It happens so fast you can’t press skip until you’ve seen the whole demonstration. Ok. That’s all. 

[marbel]

12 hours ago, fairfarmhand said:

I try to encourage my dds who’ve worked in customer service to compliment older ladies on their “pretty” features, their eyes, their clothing, an interesting piece of jewelry, their smile, because sadly, it’s like older ladies become invisible. Do yo I think I’m steering my girls wrong? I figure any older lady might enjoy a compliment on her appearance. Maybe I’m wrong. 

I think that's really going to vary. I am not really keen on getting compliments from employees at a place I'm buying something, because often it can seem very fake and a ploy to get  me to buy more, tip better, etc. (I am NOT saying your daughters are being fake.) 

I do agree that older women become invisible. I'm pretty sure, based on what you've posted over the years, that you are teaching your daughters to be sensitive and kind, which will translate into sincere compliments when they see something to compliment! 

[Ann.without.an.e]

12 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said:

Just thought of something that really rubs me the wrong way. Those Lume commercials on YouTube. The one where the lady demonstrates how to apply it to your “cheeks”. Gross. It happens so fast you can’t press skip until you’ve seen the whole demonstration. Ok. That’s all. 

stupid me ... googling lume commercial

[Indigo Blue]

4 minutes ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

stupid me ... googling lume commercial

Did you see it?

[heartlikealion]

I can’t find the right ad. I saw one where they applied it to a peach. I tried lume deodorant once but it smelled like feet and after a few days of feeling like I stunk I gave up. It made me feel worse! lol 

[Ann.without.an.e]

7 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said:

Did you see it?

Nope, not that one. Questioning whether I really actually want to 🤣

 

1 minute ago, heartlikealion said:

I can’t find the right ad. I saw one where they applied it to a peach. I tried lume deodorant once but it smelled like feet and after a few days of feeling like I stunk I gave up. It made me feel worse! lol 

 

It seems worse somehow for your b*tt to smell like feet 😅

[Indigo Blue]

There’s lots of them. One is the “butt suds test”. Disgusting. Anything to make money. 

[heartlikealion]

7 minutes ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

Nope, not that one. Questioning whether I really actually want to 🤣

 

 

It seems worse somehow for your b*tt to smell like feet 😅

Ha I just tried the under arm product. 

[heartlikealion]

4 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said:

There’s lots of them. One is the “butt suds test”. Disgusting. Anything to make money. 

That rings a bell. That was weird/gross 

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

At the moment, everything my mom says.

[Ann.without.an.e]

1 hour ago, heartlikealion said:

Ha I just tried the under arm product. 

I don't even want my feet to smell like feet so let's not go bottling up that smell and smearing it any other places 😆

Edited August 29, 2022 by Ann.without.an.e

[rebcoola]

This one just happened today to my MDD  again.  "Your eyes are so pretty did you know they change from blue to green?".....nope lady in 13 years we never noticed.  I don't know why so many people question if we have noticed her eye color.

[KidsHappen]

On 8/27/2022 at 4:49 PM, Ann.without.an.e said:

This isn’t about the use of ma’am since growing up in the south I rarely saw it pushed or enforced. Some used it and some didn’t, I wasn’t taught to use it.  
This is about the attitude overall. 

What is really heart stabbing is to have your culture so rapidly changing by implants that hate it. To hear them talk about your area and the people that you love as if you’re low life and they cannot wait to change it and stomp it all out. I hear it all the time. It is maddening. You don’t like where you came from so you choose our quaint little places with the mindset to b*tch and complain until you’ve created where you came from all over again.

Our area is one huge influx of transplants who constantly want to change everything. 

As the outsider if you choose to live somewhere you are making that choice. You don’t go into someone else’s community to change it to be like you. YOU are not the gold standard. Find ways to appreciate the culture around you or stay home. 

 

 

Yes, when I lived in TX a commonly heard refrain was, "Thank you for coming, now would kindly go back home!" Only not always so kindly phrased. There is even a fairly popular country song to that effect, that I can't quite remember the name of right now. 

[KidsHappen]

On 8/27/2022 at 6:02 PM, regentrude said:

on the original topic of phrases that grate: this is one.

Well, I think it's supposed to.

[R828]

6 hours ago, Quill said:

It is pretty common for American women to refer to a “best friend,” or a best friend with a qualifier; I.e., “my best friend from college,” or “my best friend from childhood.” However, I do know several women who don’t use this term at all, and I don’t use it often. But it isn’t in any way weird to me when I hear it. 

Ah, good to know! To me it seems strange to talk about a best friend to someone else, implying that you are a friend but just not my favorite one?! Does that make sense? It just seems unnecessarily exclusionary. 

6 hours ago, hjffkj said:

Wait having a best friend isn't a normal thing? What do you call your closest friend? Not being snarky just really curious. I would never say bff, I hate that

Of course having a best friend is entirely normal! I have a few very close friends and couldn’t really pick one best friend, but I know a lot of people do have one closest friend. I’d just never heard of adults talking about best friends to other friends, until I moved to the US. This doesn’t rub me the wrong way, but I think it could inadvertently hurt peoples feelings. But it could just be me overthinking this! 

5 hours ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

I know you didn't ask me but I can answer what is true for me. I have a few very close friends that all have special places in my heart. I don't have one best friend (unless you count my oldest dd?). I would refer to them all in a sentence as just my friend or "one of my closest friends" or "one of my best friends". I don't have one best friend or BFF though. One of them, we have been very close for 30 years but I still don't use the term best friend. 

This is exactly how I would refer to my closest friends too. 

5 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

Not everyone has a best friend. I don’t use “BFF” but I think it’s American, not regional. 

I have a close gf, I call her my best friend. But, there was a time where she tagged an older friend of hers as best friend in a social media post and I was crushed. I said oh I guess I’m not her best friend? Then another time she referred to me as best friend. So I guess she has 2. Just another example of how not everyone is on the same page 🙃

There have been many times I didn’t refer to anyone as my best friend. I do realize many people refer to their spouse as best friend. 

This is exactly why I think referring to someone as a best friend, opens the door to inadvertently causing hurt. 

Thank you all for responding to this, this is the kind of question I find awkward to ask irl friends.  

[KungFuPanda]

“Best friend is a tier not a person.” ~Mindy

[KidsHappen]

5 hours ago, Indigo Blue said:

Just thought of something that really rubs me the wrong way. Those Lume commercials on YouTube. The one where the lady demonstrates how to apply it to your “cheeks”. Gross. It happens so fast you can’t press skip until you’ve seen the whole demonstration. Ok. That’s all. 

I know which one you are talking about and now every time I see that woman's face I picture her doing that.

[Guest]

3 hours ago, R828 said:

Ah, good to know! To me it seems strange to talk about a best friend to someone else, implying that you are a friend but just not my favorite one?! Does that make sense? It just seems unnecessarily exclusionary. 

That makes perfect sense. I never really thought about it but I guess that is because I don’t usually say that, I say “one of my closest friends” or something else like “my friend since our kids were babies.” 

[Ann.without.an.e]

6 hours ago, KidsHappen said:

Yes, when I lived in TX a commonly heard refrain was, "Thank you for coming, now would kindly go back home!" Only not always so kindly phrased. There is even a fairly popular country song to that effect, that I can't quite remember the name of right now. 

I think some areas of Texas have faced a lot of the same things NC has (except from Californians and not New Yorkers?). I don’t mind the people who come here from NY or New England. I’m not opposed to change. But please, for heaven’s sake, don’t move here with a pompous attitude that “everything must change ASAP” and complain about how everything isn’t like NY. In one sentence, they’re complaining about how it was so awful that they needed to leave and in the very next darn sentence saying “let’s change this place so it’s just like where I came from”.
 

People will shift and move and I get that. At least come with a good attitude and kindness towards those who have lived there their whole lives. Off my rant, sorry 

Edited August 29, 2022 by Ann.without.an.e

[Pawz4me]

2 hours ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

I think some areas of Texas have faced a lot of the same things NC has (except from Californians and not New Yorkers?). I don’t mind the people who come here from NY or New England. I’m not opposed to change. But please, for heaven’s sake, don’t move here with a pompous attitude that “everything must chaItnge ASAP” and complain about how everything isn’t like NY. In one sentence, they’re complaining about how it was so awful that they needed to leave and in the very next darn sentence saying “let’s change this place so it’s just like where I came from”.
 

People will shift and move and I get that. At least come with a good attitude and kindness towards those who have lived there their whole lives. Off my rant, sorry 

I think mostly they come for the lower cost of living, or better weather, or jobs. They want those things but also want to hang on to whatever aspects of their previous areas they liked.

It occurred to me that in some ways it's really not much different than when white European settlers took over Native American lands. There's no physical violence (thank goodness), but the ignorant attitude of "my way/my culture is right and your way/your culture is wrong/evil/whatever and must be eradicated" is certainly there. It's an extremely ignorant way of thinking. Which isn't to say that we can't all learn from different ways of doing and being. We should. But it has to be a two way street, because certainly no one culture has a lock on the "right" way to do or be, regardless of what some seem to believe.

[Ann.without.an.e]

2 hours ago, Pawz4me said:

It occurred to me that in some ways it's really not much different than when white European settlers took over Native American lands. There's no physical violence (thank goodness), but the ignorant attitude of "my way/my culture is right and your way/your culture is wrong/evil/whatever and must be eradicated" is certainly there. It's an extremely ignorant way of thinking. Which isn't to say that we can't all learn from different ways of doing and being. We should. But it has to be a two way street, because certainly no one culture has a lock on the "right" way to do or be, regardless of what some seem to believe.

 

I’ve thought of this analogy many times 

[Tree Frog]

I've thought of a few things that rub me the wrong way. "OK, Boomer", as mentioned up thread, "Karen", "anyway", "whatever" are all very dismissive and pretty pompous. I don't hear "anyway" very often, but an adult member of my family says it when I've added something to the conversation and they want to go on speaking about whatever they want to talk about regardless of my contributions.

The person saying those things isn't open to hearing a different opinion or even considering that what the other person is saying has merit. It shuts down the conversation.

[AngieC]

I don’t hear it much anymore, but “I’m going to let you go now” as a way to end a phone call has always annoyed me.

Why not just say “I’m going to go now” if you’re ready to end a phone call? 

[Ann.without.an.e]

@Tree Frog  I have a friend named Karen and she changed her name on social media and tells people to call her Ren because of the Karen remarks in general. 

[Tree Frog]

1 hour ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

@Tree Frog  I have a friend named Karen and she changed her name on social media and tells people to call her Ren because of the Karen remarks in general. 

It's really too bad that mainstream names take on negative connotations. Dick is another name with a negative connotation.