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Would you say anything besides “congratulations?”

AbcdeDooDah

By AbcdeDooDah,
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AbcdeDooDah

AbcdeDooDah

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Found out on fb that my sister is pregnant. My mom posted about it after finding out today at Thanksgiving. We weren’t there this year. I’m pretty annoyed i found out that way. I don’t understand why my sister didn’t tell me. I’ve always been supportive and happy for her and my mom is not (it’s # 11).

 

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Arcadia

Arcadia

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8 minutes ago, AbcdeDooDah said:

 Annoyed she didn’t tell me and annoyed my mom wouldn’t make sure close family knew first.

My MIL is like the public announcement system and won’t think of informing close family first before broadcasting to the whole world. So if your mom is like my MIL, I could see that happening.

I won’t know why your sister didn’t inform you before today. We didn’t inform for my pregnancies until second trimester because both were risky. Some close friends guessed before that but didn’t spread the news.

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gardenmom5

gardenmom5

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38 minutes ago, AbcdeDooDah said:

Found out on fb that my sister is pregnant. My mom posted about it after finding out today at Thanksgiving. We weren’t there this year. I’m pretty annoyed i found out that way. I don’t understand why my sister didn’t tell me. I’ve always been supportive and happy for her and my mom is not (it’s # 11).

 

She may have wanted to tell your mom/everyone at thanksgiving first - and your mom ran to post on FB before she could call you.

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AbcdeDooDah

AbcdeDooDah

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LOL, she texted me a few minutes ago and said, “in case you haven’t heard the news. . .” So I guess she didn’t plan on telling me herself unless I had been able to make it to her house today. It stings a little but I’ll get over it. I think I’m feeling more bothered by it than I usually am by things because my mom keeps telling her to stop having kids, but then her posts on FB announcing the new grandchild are SO! EXCITED! 🙄

 

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Arcadia

Arcadia

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1 hour ago, AbcdeDooDah said:

I think I’m feeling more bothered by it than I usually am by things because my mom keeps telling her to stop having kids, but then her posts on FB announcing the new grandchild are SO! EXCITED! 🙄

I think that is normal mother/grandmother behavior. On one hand worried about their kids having more children than their kids can cope with. On the other hand, a new grandchild is news to be celebrated and excited about.

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Tap

Tap

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1 hour ago, AbcdeDooDah said:

LOL, she texted me a few minutes ago and said, “in case you haven’t heard the news. . .” So I guess she didn’t plan on telling me herself unless I had been able to make it to her house today. It stings a little but I’ll get over it. I think I’m feeling more bothered by it than I usually am by things because my mom keeps telling her to stop having kids, but then her posts on FB announcing the new grandchild are SO! EXCITED! 🙄

 

Maybe since it is her 11th baby, she just isn't that worried about telling everyone in person. While you may be as excited as you were with her 1st, she has likely told hundreds of people the wonderful news, over the years of carrying that many pregnancies! Maybe the bloom is a little off that rose for her. I can't imagine how exhausted she must be! Pregnant, with a large family, at a holiday dinner, and telling people news (that she knows some will not be happy to hear). Honestly with all that going on, she probably didn't really much about it. She probably figured she would make an announcement at the dinner and then tell the other people after the event. 

I am sorry you were hurt, but really it was only a few hours and she did call you, even after an exhausting day to tell you personally. Despite hearing  it on Facebook first, she called you personally, because she wanted to tell you and share that moment with you. That tells me she loves you very much and wanted you know. 🙂

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Katy

Katy

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I’d assume she wanted to tell you herself but your mom screwed up by making it public before she was ready.  Or maybe it’s too soon to tell anyone but due to food aversions, morning sickness, or a child spilling the beans your mom accidentally found out and then announced without permission before sister had the chance to call you.  I wouldn’t assume she didn’t want you to know, more that this is a mom couldn’t resist the opportunity for attention thing.  I’d be far more annoyed with mom than sister. 

My mom is one of those people who is incapable of keeping a secret too.  I try not to tell her anything I don’t want the whole extended family to know. She has a knack for guessing when I’m pregnant though. 

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Ausmumof3

Ausmumof3

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7 hours ago, AbcdeDooDah said:

LOL, she texted me a few minutes ago and said, “in case you haven’t heard the news. . .” So I guess she didn’t plan on telling me herself unless I had been able to make it to her house today. It stings a little but I’ll get over it. I think I’m feeling more bothered by it than I usually am by things because my mom keeps telling her to stop having kids, but then her posts on FB announcing the new grandchild are SO! EXCITED! 🙄

 

That would make me think she meant to tell you and your mum accidentally spilled the beans too soon on Facebook and she was trying to get in before you saw it with at least a personal text.  

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SKL

SKL

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Is there any chance she thought she'd tell you at Thanksgiving but didn't get a chance since (a) you weren't there and (b) things can get crazy, busy, and distracting on Thanksgiving?  And also, she may have thought you were too busy on Thanksgiving for a long personal phone call?

Maybe she really wanted to tell you in a more personal way.

I would contact her, say you heard, and give loving congratulations.  Close, loving people don't have to follow conventions IMO.

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SKL

SKL

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As for your mom blabbing your sister's news ... there's a reason they call my mom "CNN," LOL.  It is also possible your mom over-did it in order to offset the suspicion that she might not be thrilled for another grandchild.  She may have assumed you were among the first to know due to your past history with your sister.

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barnwife

barnwife

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11 hours ago, AbcdeDooDah said:

LOL, she texted me a few minutes ago and said, “in case you haven’t heard the news. . .” So I guess she didn’t plan on telling me herself unless I had been able to make it to her house today. It stings a little but I’ll get over it. I think I’m feeling more bothered by it than I usually am by things because my mom keeps telling her to stop having kids, but then her posts on FB announcing the new grandchild are SO! EXCITED! 🙄

 

Huh...this is something that I could see happening in my family. Grandma would be so excited and post something. So my sister and I would assume the grapevine would work fast and assume people already knew. So "In case you haven't heard the news" would just be her/me recognizing that the grapevine worked faster than we'd been able to be in touch. There certainly wouldn't be any malice behind it. Also, it's why we'd tell grandma "we haven't told XXXX yet, so no telling/posting."

In your case, I wouldn't assume bad intent, I'd just say congrats and move on.

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