2020-New Year's - habits, goals, and plans

[Soror]

I've seen threads to reflect on plans from last year but none for the upcoming year. Did I miss it??

I've been working on my plans and am starting to get a direction.

 

[Slache]

Back to working out regularly. Back to eating properly. Back to reading daily. Back to paying off our debt.

[Liz CA]

Needing to let some routines go that stem from when I worked fewer hours because I realized I cannot be gone from the house for 12 hours and expect to do what I used to when I was home more. Seems a simple concept but took a while to get through my thick skull.  Relaxing more when I am home so I get the down time I really need to recharge.

[Guest]

Thanks for starting this! I have not made my goals/habits specific enough yet, but I guess this is as good a place as any to talk about my ideas.

My word for the new year will be Brave. This word arrived in my awareness when a friend posted on FB, “What would you do if you were brave?” That really resonated with me, so Brave is my word for 2020. 

Some goals/habits from this year which I plan to continue:

1. Complete 52 books a year. I also do a book bingo and will make a new one for the new year. I read every day without fail. 

2. Continue my daily meditation. Continue my daily yoga and strength training exercises. Continue my daily scar massage and manual lymph dispersement. Whatever it’s called. 

3. Continue my “new experience” every month thing. Every month I must experience something I never have before. Could be small - eating a different food - could be big - going to a different place. But always at least one new, positive experience a month. (Negative things like surgeries or illnesses or whatever don’t count!) 

4. Continue seeing a movie every week. Some weeks it doesn’t happen, because of life, but it certainly does happen a LOT more when you make a decision, make a date with yourself and carry it out. 

5. Continue our monthly dinners over a couples friends’ house. We rotate; we both love cooking, baking and gardening and it’s that rare combination where the guy gets on great with dh and I get along great with the lady and we all have great, stimulating conversations. 

Some goals/habits I haven’t necessarily figured out exactly how I want to carry out:

1. Go through my Cook’s Illustrated Baking book and make new baked items. I want to try a new thing each week, but that might not be the most practical or feasible iteration of the goal; I still need to figure that out. 

2. Intentionally connect with a friend ——- times a week. Once? Twice? Does it count if I send them a quick message, or only when I carry it out fully, like meeting for coffee? I haven’t figured this out. I would also like to build another couples friends dinner per month with a different couple but I’m on the fence. 

3. Family dinner one Sunday per month, for my grown kids, assuming they are in the country, to attend pretty much come hell or high water. I want to establish something like this that hopefully will continue into the future.

4. I have to figure out my intentions with this, but I want to write daily or much more regularly and publish and create fearlessly. I recently finished writing a humorous short story and, honestly, I love it. It makes me so happy! The only thing that would make it better is if it was published where people can (hopefully) enjoy it and find it funny. 

5. I want to learn how to make amigurumi. The crocheted animals. I have started but haven’t worked on this due to working on Christmas gifts. 

6. I plan to be working FT. I really want the particular job I just interviewed for last week. The location is unbeatable and I really liked the vibe there. Because of the clearances and things for that job and how long the job posting process takes, it could still be a couple of months before I’m working even if I do get that job. So it could be several weeks before I hear a word of any kind from them. 

I think that’s all (haha, like it’s not enough!) for the moment. 

 

[Soror]

39 minutes ago, Liz CA said:

Needing to let some routines go that stem from when I worked fewer hours because I realized I cannot be gone from the house for 12 hours and expect to do what I used to when I was home more. Seems a simple concept but took a while to get through my thick skull.  Relaxing more when I am home so I get the down time I really need to recharge.

I understand that, we had so much change last year. It is amazing how we can miss things sometimes that seem so obvious but things are working and all of a sudden you realize they aren't anymore and change is hard.

1 hour ago, Slache said:

Back to working out regularly. Back to eating properly. Back to reading daily. Back to paying off our debt.

Hitting all the basics! Have you worked on details yet or you still in the planning stage?

2 hours ago, happysmileylady said:

Oh....bleh...😁

 

So, I am generally NOT a fan of "new years resolutions."  I gent to feel like New Years is a false starting point and if someone really wants to make a change, just do it.  Having said that, my birthday is also at the end of the year, and I hate winter and trying to start some new exciting adventure when I am excited about my birthday and also when the concept of new beginnings is all around...yeah, that's a thing.

 

I found a Happy Planner paper planner last year and I am just really liking the creativity and so on.  And they came out with a budget planner and also a couple of other planners that are very specific that I really like.  Those things coincide with a couple of things going on in my life like trying to get a home purchased....................*SOON*................and then also a personal goal that DH and I share.  And those things naturally break down into some smaller goals and then I get to thinking...........so yeah....I don't have anything set in stone yet.  But things I want to accomplish, things DH and I want to accomplish......we are in the process of breaking those down into actual goals, working the goal setting process and ultimately, they will likely be "new years resolutions" lol.  

Ya, I get that, I often start things in December  or I will set goals of things to do by my B-day (June 29th so almost exactly half the year) but New Years gives a good starting point. Buying a house is a big goal, that is very smart to break it down into smaller goals.

@Quill I'll not quote you so I won't take up so much space but what a wonderful list, balanced and thoughtful, and good inspiration. Mine is not as fleshed out but I'll post what I'm thinking so far.

[mlktwins]

I know I need to exercise regularly (plan on stretching daily and doing the recumbent bike 4-5 times a week), eat healthier, and get some medical things caught up (like a colonoscopy).

I need to get started on finally cleaning out my own house (after doing my dad's house this past year).  That wore me out and I've have no motivation to start my own.  I don't care about most of the stuff -- I am just tired!

The one thing that would be good for me all around is to forgive someone (a friend that I was very good to) for hurting me (and my family by association).  This is very hard for me to do, but I know it would be healthy for my mind and spirit.  She, of course, probably wouldn't think she has anything to be forgiven for.  My biggest problem is that when I responded to her very long, nasty email, I took the high road and did not do to her what she did to me.  I am trying to reconcile the fact that she may never know my true feelings and that I sometimes wish I had just said what I wanted to her 1.5 years ago.  It is probably a good thing for her that I didn't -- LOL.  Even though I still have to see her on a regular basis, I need to forgive and let it go.  Maybe my forgiveness will help my boys do the same.  Her son was my boys' best friend :-(.  I'm so ready to let it go!!!

[Slache]

19 minutes ago, soror said:

Hitting all the basics! Have you worked on details yet or you still in the planning stage?

Almost finished planning. It's mostly just fixing our routine which went to Hades after moving here but is getting back under control.

[Soror]

le sigh, I started typing up my goals and habits but lost it all and now it is my bed time (which I'm keeping at the top of the priority list). I look forward to reading everyone's thoughts tomorrow and maybe I can get my own written down.

[mommyoffive]

I have started coming up with mine, but they were only financial goals.  I need some personal and family ones too.  Got to think about that.

[Selkie]

The only goal I've set so far is that I'm going to help save twelve horses or other equines from slaughter. This year, it was six and I intend to double that in 2020.

[Slache]

Ok, I found my list. It's not in order, but it's color coded! This is a list of things I decided I want for myself to base my goals/action steps/habits around.
I am...
A good and faithful servant.
A prayer warrior.
An athlete.
Pain free.
A graceful mother.
A supportive wife.
Well rested.
An autodidact.
A person with good handwriting.
Someone who follows through.
A non screen reliant individual.
Someone with a well-kept home.
Someone who puts effort into their appearance.
Hydrated.
A month budgeted out (has next month's bills covered).
Someone with an active savings account.

[Carrie12345]

12 hours ago, Slache said:

Back to working out regularly. Back to eating properly. Back to reading daily. Back to paying off our debt.

Pretty much same, lol.

My one real big thing is that we really need to decide our housing situation.  There are no simple options in our market, but we’re in a season/age/position that kind of demands action, but it’s all very if-you-give-a-mouse-a-cookie.  We have to push through to a decision and a plan.

[Ottakee]

Last year I went with 52 small challenges.....things like drink coffee every day for a week (never a coffee drinker before), hike with a friend, take each of my kids out for a meal alone, bike a new trail, send out 5 cards, attend a free community concert etc.  Nothing big or expensive.   I managed 48 or so already this year.  A few won't be doable like cross country ski somewhere new...due to no snow currently.

I plan on doing the same for next year.  Just 52 small challenges that take me a bit outside of my comfort zone, work on my health, connect with people, etc.   

[Soror]

9 hours ago, Seasider too said:

My number one goal is to establish a regular routine. I’ve not had one for a couple of years because my responsibilities to other people have meant I work around their schedules. That will still be true in the next year, but to a lesser extent. I believe if I can settle into some predictability of schedule, the other things I’ve been working towards will fall into place. 

One thing new that I will add as a goal is to create some visual art pieces. I have a concept in mind and hopefully the time and space to construct them by next summer. 

Yes, I have been working on a routine too. Mine got torn to bits when I started working mornings and we had so much change. In the last few months I've been working on reestablishing it.

-------------------------------------

I've started ordering my thoughts but can't decide how, so this is a very good exercise for me to put it on paper.

I believe my words for this year are BALANCE and PRESENCE. I tend to go in cycles of taking on too much and pulling back. I'm now in a pulling back period. I need more time to tend to my home and family. I am trying to cut back on my multi-tasking- as I end up not truly focusing on one particular thing which in the end is not all that efficient and robs my family and myself of precious moments.

One of my steps towards focusing on the present is being more adamant about making appts. around our schooling, when at all possible, even if we have to wait as well as spending 10 min a day working on emails, messages, etc in the morning instead of trying to do that while schooling or something else- I've worked on adding this in the fall and am currently working on being more consistent- instead of having this as a maybe it needs to be on my list every day as there is always something to do (plenty of times I need to do more but this will put a good dent in it).

Exercise- I'm a regular exerciser but like to have specific goals in mind for motivation, I've decided this year I'm going to run an obstacle course race. I want to do Tough Mudder but am having difficulty forming a team, so I've been researching other options in case I can't pull that off. Last year my goal was a deadhang pull-up, I am still working on that goal and am getting there but I hurt my shoulder in July just when I nearly had my chin over the bar, it is has been a long road back again. I'd like to get that by the New Year but I absolutely cannot rush it, so that work will continue, thankfully it fits right in for obstacle course training. I've also added in HIIT work and running, it is good for cardiovascular heatlh but on it's own not that enticing to me but needed for the OCR. This is the easiest goal- it is keeping on with where I am and just going for it, quantifiable, if all of life was that way. 

I've been working on my morning routine which was utterly butchered when I started working 6 mornings a week, 8 weeks ago I added in morning exercise 5 days a week (I have mostly exercised in the evening except for weekends for years now). I'd like to add in some prayer, meditation, and reflection time but have failed in this so far- I need to work on a plan to make this something small, concrete, and easy to accomplish.

Reading- after I started working PT my personal reading shrunk drastically. It was not just that I had less time which then scrunched the entire rest of my day but I had less mental energy (learning new things and getting over my nerves) as well as physical energy (due to the early hrs and nerves that woke me even earlier- like 3:30am instead of 4:30 for months). When I had chill time I mostly wanted to do mindless activities. I read books to the children but not many just for me. I am setting a modest goal of 2 per month and planning to request books a month at a time (we get to check out for 3 weeks and renew another 3) so I don't have to think about choosing books that often. Lucky for me too the library is putting in another branch which will be much closer to me, that will be a big help. I did accomplish my goal of reading more to the kids was a goal last year so that is a win. 

And I'm out of time- I'll have to come back later.

Edited December 15, 2019 by soror

[regentrude]

I do not do new year's resolutions, but I do Word of the Year. Because you can't fail at a word.

My WotY came to me earlier this week: FREE

I will spend the time between now and New year's eve  thinking about what that will mean: what I wish to be free FROM and what I wist to be free TO.

Edited December 15, 2019 by regentrude

[Slache]

Word of the Year: Thrive

I kept talking about how our goal this year was just to survive. We moved across the country and in the middle of the drive found out my husband didn't have the job that we thought he was going to have. We have been struggling and surviving. I saw a title of a book called From Surviving to Thriving and it stuck with me. This year I'm going to thrive. I'm going to pay off debt, read, lose weight, make progress on my goals. I'm going to thrive.

[Guest]

3 hours ago, Ottakee said:

Last year I went with 52 small challenges.....things like drink coffee every day for a week (never a coffee drinker before), hike with a friend, take each of my kids out for a meal alone, bike a new trail, send out 5 cards, attend a free community concert etc.  Nothing big or expensive.   I managed 48 or so already this year.  A few won't be doable like cross country ski somewhere new...due to no snow currently.

I plan on doing the same for next year.  Just 52 small challenges that take me a bit outside of my comfort zone, work on my health, connect with people, etc.   

This is such a cool idea! 

[Murphy101]

- To get to my final weight goal (130) by the end of June

- Continue my education. I thought this would be less intimidating after a semester but this has been danged rough so I’m actually more intimidated than less now. 

- Go on two trips. Dh wants me to take him to Curacao.  And the third annual girls trip, though one of us girls is having a major life overhaul and so I suspect it won’t be longer than 3-5 days this time.  I’d love a family vacation, but I think that’s going to be too much for the bank accts this year. 

- Keep a home schooling routine. They’ve been educated but we thrive best with consistency.

- Get two major projects done on the house. Gah. Home ownership sucks. It’s nothing but never ending maintenance costs.

- This year I tried really hard to be more active at church and even though I did hardly anything, I have to admit it made me miserable and exhausted. But I still feel this is important. I need to think how I can balance this. Dealing with social politics is no where near my wheelhouse.

- To own nothing I don’t need or want in my daily life. This is as much about controlling my budget as my space.  And setting an example for my kids of putting time and money into people and experiences instead of stuff.

Still thinking about more things.  I really like the idea of something new every week but think maybe every month would be more realistic for me.  Hmmm.  

 

[Ottakee]

4 hours ago, Quill said:

This is such a cool idea! 

Here is my list for 2020  

[SKL]

I have been thinking about this ... I definitely need to make some changes for the sake of my kids this year.

They will transfer to high school this year and really need to be better about responsibilities.  This means I need to be better about preparing them for that.

I also need to make some changes for the mental health of some of us.  I am not really sure yet what it will look like, but I think it will involve simplifying and staying more on top of things.

I need to find energy somewhere.  Does anyone know where mine is hiding?  I had it not that long ago.

I have real hope of getting my black belt in 2020.  Have I said that before ... a couple times?  Yes I have, but this time I feel like it's not wishful thinking ... as long as my health holds out ....

In a lot of ways I feel lost.

The fun stuff will be the kids' milestones - confirmation and graduation from K-8.  It should be a special year for the kids with their friends.

[lovinmyboys]

I’m still thinking on mine. This was a year of unexpected changes (moving). The prior 4 years I was really good about setting and keeping fun goals-seeing a movie in the theater with the kids once a month, watching all of Parenthood, doing a family activity a month, traveling, etc. 

So far my goals include getting a job sometime after the school year starts next year, preparing my younger two to start school in September, maybe getting my varicose veins fixed as they have been hurting quite a bit lately, saving money, exercising (how did I get so out of shape! It is hard to start now), and reducing my twitter habit.