Vacation spots and UGH!

[DawnM]

My husband doesn't like vacations.  He has tolerated them when we were really into Disney when the kids were younger, but. he really doesn't like it.  He feels it is a huge chore to pack, drive, and then cram all sorts of activities in, and then get back home tired.

I have gone on vacations without him the last few years because of it.  Sometimes I take a kid or two and sometimes I meet up with friends. 

But he has agreed to go to a drivable location for a few days.   I am considering the Outer Banks or Charleston.   Which do you prefer and why?  We aren't "lie out on the beach" type people. We like to do things.  Boat rides, forts, museums, old ships, lighthouses, etc.....with only some time on the beach.  I also have BOYS, so they aren't really into leisurely shopping or drinking coffee and people watching.

So, of those two, which would you choose and why?  I am somewhat open to other suggestions as long as they are ocean based, but not Hilton Head or Myrtle.....I have reasons that would take too long to explain.  but if you have other suggestions, please tell me why and what we can do there.

Thanks

[alisoncooks]

We just got back from the Outer Banks (Hatteras). We climbed the lighthouse (yikes!). You could take the ferry for an Ocracoke day trip. In Nags Head/Kitty Hawk: climb Jockey's Ridge (or take a hang glide class). Kayak or jet ski on the sound. There is a waterpark on the far north end of the beach (H2OBX). In Manteo: the aquarium,  a cute waterfront, The Lost Colony production. Plenty of stuff for keeping busy. (ETA: and lots of driving if you plan activities in the different areas, obviously. It's a looong haul from the north end to Hatteras/Buxton.)

That said, I've never been to Charleston, so I'd probably pick that...

Edited July 29, 2019 by alisoncooks

[catz]

I'd personally choose Charleston because there are such interesting historical things.  And I love urban destinations that have good access to outdoor fun too.    We have a friend that moved there a couple years ago and it looks amazing.

Is there any way you could let your DH opt out of some of the sites and relax if he's favoring a less structured/more balanced vacation?  

[QueenCat]

45 minutes ago, alisoncooks said:

We just got back from the Outer Banks (Hatteras). We climbed the lighthouse (yikes!). You could take the ferry for an Ocracoke day trip. In Nags Head/Kitty Hawk: climb Jockey's Ridge (or take a hang glide class). Kayak or jet ski on the sound. There is a waterpark on the far north end of the beach (H2OBX). In Manteo: the aquarium,  a cute waterfront, The Lost Colony production. Plenty of stuff for keeping busy. (ETA: and lots of driving if you plan activities in the different areas, obviously. It's a looong haul from the north end to Hatteras/Buxton.)

That said, I've never been to Charleston, so I'd probably pick that...

 

Yes to all of the above. Kitty Hawk and the Wright brothers site is cool for history/aviation buffs. Just note that if it's really hot, there is NO shade. 

[DawnM]

19 minutes ago, FuzzyCatz said:

I'd personally choose Charleston because there are such interesting historical things.  And I love urban destinations that have good access to outdoor fun too.    We have a friend that moved there a couple years ago and it looks amazing.

Is there any way you could let your DH opt out of some of the sites and relax if he's favoring a less structured/more balanced vacation?  

 

He will want to golf.  Which is fine I guess.

[DawnM]

Ok, so I just looked up places to stay (condos) and the Outer Banks is considerably more expensive!  I had no idea.  Charleston is about half the cost.  That may end up being the deciding factor.

The boys have been to Charleston.  We did the USS Yorktown and Fort Sumter, but I don't think they really remember it.  It was a long time ago.  I have been a few times since, but with girlfriends.  

[scholastica]

Charleston. There’s so much more to do and see and your dh can still golf.

[Pawz4me]

If your DH doesn't like to drive then Charleston is going to be your best bet. The OBX is wonderful, but it's a slog to get there and everything is spread out. It's a long, full day trip to go from Nags Head/Kitty Hawk to Ocracoke and back. Things to do in Charleston are much closer together. 

[HomeAgain]

Definitely plan a vacation where you can split activities.

We're going camping.  DH and I sat down and planned two activities per day, one of them being a family activity and one of them being flexible: splitting up so that pairs can do what they like or dh can do an activity he's been really wanting or a possible family but possible sit out, too.  Oldest and I will do most of the packing because that's our thing, and our vacation ends two days before dh has to go back to work so unpacking is relaxed.
I'm an introvert, dh is not, so we're a bit backwards from y'all.  When we do Disney again we have built in non-park days so that we rest.  We have in-park strategies where I find nooks and crannies to explore while dh does something more exciting with the kids and I meet back up later.  This works to meet all our needs/wants and give everyone the vacation instead of it feeling like a chore for some.

[PrincessMommy]

I don't enjoy the beach either and with the parameters you've given I'd also choose Charleston. 

I have a friend with a dh who sounds similar to your dh.  She often goes with friends or other family members.   I've gone with her before.  

My dh likes to GO on vacation. It isn't restful for me at all.   I enjoyed the time I went to DR with my friend above.  It was so relaxing. 

[DawnM]

2 hours ago, Pawz4me said:

If your DH doesn't like to drive then Charleston is going to be your best bet. The OBX is wonderful, but it's a slog to get there and everything is spread out. It's a long, full day trip to go from Nags Head/Kitty Hawk to Ocracoke and back. Things to do in Charleston are much closer together. 

 

Weirdly enough, the drive is never the problem.  He doesn't mind driving at all.  He just hates how far things are!  And it wears him out just as much if I drive, I meant distance I guess more than the actual act of driving.  

He just doesn't actually like vacations.  He said AGAIN last night, "I always feel like when we get back I need a vacation from my vacation before going back to work" blah, blah, blah.  This is EVEN IF we have a relaxing vacation.  I think he has it built up in his mind or something.  

Edited July 29, 2019 by DawnM

[DawnM]

45 minutes ago, HomeAgain said:

Definitely plan a vacation where you can split activities.

We're going camping.  DH and I sat down and planned two activities per day, one of them being a family activity and one of them being flexible: splitting up so that pairs can do what they like or dh can do an activity he's been really wanting or a possible family but possible sit out, too.  Oldest and I will do most of the packing because that's our thing, and our vacation ends two days before dh has to go back to work so unpacking is relaxed.
I'm an introvert, dh is not, so we're a bit backwards from y'all.  When we do Disney again we have built in non-park days so that we rest.  We have in-park strategies where I find nooks and crannies to explore while dh does something more exciting with the kids and I meet back up later.  This works to meet all our needs/wants and give everyone the vacation instead of it feeling like a chore for some.

 

DH won't even discuss it.  His attitude is, "Just plan it and I will come along."  And then, sometimes when we get there he starts having ideas!  😕 Um, seriously?    I am a planner, he is a "let's just get there and then see" which makes me NUTS because sometimes that has meant we don't get to go because there are no more tickets available or whatever.   Last time we went to the beach my son wanted to rent bikes.  They went one day and the bikes were all rented.  They went back at 4pm the next day and the guy told them it closed at 5pm and there wasn't time.  The next day we had to leave.  He loves last minute stuff and sees no hurry to plan or schedule.  

I am not husband bashing, really, but I have to do 100% of the planning or it won't happen.

 

[HomeAgain]

Would it work if you went back more to a previous location? 
Last year we went camping and sort of winged it.  This year we have all the brochures we grabbed last year, printed out other things online, and made more of a plan with still room to play it by ear.  Next year we'll go camping in the same area, focus on a few other activities to definitely do, and so on.  The consistency helps us not have to try to jam everything in - and know what we can get away with not definitely planning. 

[sheryl]

Hi Dawn!  We've gone to both more than once.  We're spoiled here b/c we are relatively close.  DH, DD and I have all been to Charleston.  It's nice.  It's city!  It's NOT on the beach although the rivers "fork" at the park.  There is a lot of history (battle-related) to this beautiful and charming city.  But, it IS city.  If you go to Charleston, go to the "market".   Hymans restaurant is well-known.  They have great shrimp but some of the locals on this board may agree to that but others will suggest other, better seafood restaurants.  The tables at Hymans have brass or some metal "name" plates anchored onto the place on the table where famous people also sat to enjoy a meal.  The names are of those are/were very well known.   

I vote Outer Banks but it will be EXPENSIVE this time of year.  DH and I went years ago and the 3 of us went back in 2017.  We start our vacation by driving through Morehead City and south at Cedar Island and go north.  You have the ocean and many, many fun activities and villages all the way up to Duck (go to Duck Donuts! - there's one here but there's something fun about going to one on OBX), Corolla, Corova Beach (think "bankers" aka wild horses who were ship wrecked here).  There are fun things to do and see from here TO cedar island.  It's a whirlwind to do all of this in a week - depending on how active you want to be.  If not too active, then you can pick and choose.  

If you need more specific info, call/text and I'll share our itinerary with you from our trip.  So much to see and do.   Do it all or pick and choose.  
 
Portsmouth (did not take the ferry there but next time we'll visit there)
Ferry to Ocracoke (talk to Ellie here on wtm) - "bankers" playground here - a fenced reserve for them with an observation deck for tourists
Hatteras
Frisco
Buxton (Cape Hatteras Lighthouse is closest to Buxton village on Hatteras Island)
Avon
Salvo
Waves (blink and you are through some of these)
Rodanthe (really liked it here) - filmed "Nights in Rodanthe" here with Richard Gere several years ago, house in film still remains (we saw it)
Pea Island Wildlife -  Sea Turtle restricted area as you leave Rodanthe (find great shells here walking up one of the dunes as the road you are driving on is literally yards away from the ocean
Bonner bridge at Oregon Inlet - new bridge open!!!
Bodie Island (pronounced "body")
Roanoke Island (Wanchese and Manteo) - Lost Colony play in Manteo 
The pier
Nags Head - very touristy, hand glide at Jockey's Ridge State Park
Kill Devil Hills - Wright Bros. Museum (these brothers are from my home state of Ohio but they "took flight" surrounding this area)
Kitty Hawk
Duck
Corolla
Corova
 And, other little stops along the way......

Route 12 is THE only main road running along the banks
Back to mainland requires ferry or a couple of roads, one of which is rt 64 running e/w from near THE pier across Roanoke Island and west to the mainland.  Also known as alligator highway this is alligator territory.  No kidding here.  When we drove home west on 64 dh was driving, dd in back and I was looking around.  THERE IT WAS - a few feet away from us.  The water line runs up to rt 64 and I saw an alligator! YIKES!  

We rode horses on beach (not wild horses, can't do that), tickets to Lost Colony, W Bros museum was closed when we were there.  DH on an earlier trip years ago went hand gliding at Jockey's RIdge 2 or 3 ferries (reservations are recommended for one), went to beach but not daily because we were busy doing other events and it rained some, ascended the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse, Chicamacomico life saving station, Graveyard of the Atlantic Museum, Frisco Native American  Museum and more! 

If you go to Corolla/Corova to look for bankers PLEASE be aware of high tide AND 4 wheel is recommended because tires on other vehicles "sink".  Do not approach bankers - some people try.   Shelley Island popped up and faded with Hurricane Maria's appearance. 

 

[TravelingChris]

28 minutes ago, DawnM said:

 

DH won't even discuss it.  His attitude is, "Just plan it and I will come along."  And then, sometimes when we get there he starts having ideas!  😕 Um, seriously?    I am a planner, he is a "let's just get there and then see" which makes me NUTS because sometimes that has meant we don't get to go because there are no more tickets available or whatever.   Last time we went to the beach my son wanted to rent bikes.  They went one day and the bikes were all rented.  They went back at 4pm the next day and the guy told them it closed at 5pm and there wasn't time.  The next day we had to leave.  He loves last minute stuff and sees no hurry to plan or schedule.  I am not husband bas
hing, really, but I have to do 100% of the planning or it won't happen.

My dh is different as he loves vacations but almost all of the time, I have to plan it and yes, then he gets into it and starts adding stuff just like your husband.  Currently, we have two vacations to plan- a mini 3 or 3.5 day trip to a GA state park in the Appalachian part of GA and a mostly cruise vacation leaving out of England and going to Canary Islands among other places.  But in our case, my dh knows that I love making plans for vacations, weekend trips and day trips.  

Both my dh and I have realized that we are tired after a vacation and both of us plan low demand days after---- like it is almost always useless for me to plan a medical appointment right after because generally with the increase in activities and energy I use, I am normally in a flare after.  But I still do it because vacations give me such good memories and I enjoy myself there.  On a cruise, I always feel better physically at least.  - something about the sea.

 

 

 

[DawnM]

@sheryl I think we are nixing the Outer Banks because of the cost.  Renting a condo for 3-4 nights is over $1500.  

[DawnM]

3 minutes ago, TravelingChris said:

My dh is different as he loves vacations but almost all of the time, I have to plan it and yes, then he gets into it and starts adding stuff just like your husband.  Currently, we have two vacations to plan- a mini 3 or 3.5 day trip to a GA state park in the Appalachian part of GA and a mostly cruise vacation leaving out of England and going to Canary Islands among other places.  But in our case, my dh knows that I love making plans for vacations, weekend trips and day trips.  

Both my dh and I have realized that we are tired after a vacation and both of us plan low demand days after---- like it is almost always useless for me to plan a medical appointment right after because generally with the increase in activities and energy I use, I am normally in a flare after.  But I still do it because vacations give me such good memories and I enjoy myself there.  On a cruise, I always feel better physically at least.  - something about the sea.

 

 

 

 

Well, he will have to go to work the day after we get back.

I envy people who work hard and play hard and don't get exhausted.  I think I used to be a lot more like that.  And then, well, age.  

[wintermom]

2 hours ago, DawnM said:

 

Well, he will have to go to work the day after we get back.

I envy people who work hard and play hard and don't get exhausted.  I think I used to be a lot more like that.  And then, well, age.  

My dh plans to take 1 or 2 days off after a vacation. Could you shorten your vacation to accommodate this?  TBH, I think that most people have trouble transitioning back to regular life again after a vacation no matter how much they enjoy the time away. There is always extra stuff to do when you get home again. 

[DawnM]

10 hours ago, wintermom said:

My dh plans to take 1 or 2 days off after a vacation. Could you shorten your vacation to accommodate this?  TBH, I think that most people have trouble transitioning back to regular life again after a vacation no matter how much they enjoy the time away. There is always extra stuff to do when you get home again. 

 

We are only going for 3 days, so that would make the trip one day.  So, no.  He has 3 days he can take off, we are going Sun-Wed.  Fri and Sat we have events we can't miss, so we can't go until Sun.  We are leaving by noon Wed so he isn't overly tired Thur for work, but that is the best we can do.

Edited July 30, 2019 by DawnM