TheAttachedMama Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 Hi Everyone, My husband and I were (are?) members of a non-denominational megachurch in our area...and I have attended this same church for 25 years. We recently started attending a very small local church on the weekend as a family. I think we have gone 4 times now. It is a very small church with about 30 members. And it seems like the same people come to the service every weekend. Everyone has been SO very nice and welcoming to us, and I really like the atmosphere. It is a nice change, and I would like to continue to go. Of course, it is a new "denomination" for us---and so I do not know or understand everything that this church believes in. (Honesty, I am pretty clueless about denomination differences and theological matters, so I am not sure if I will ever fully understand.) I've listened to their sermons and read their mission statement and their "creeds" (pretty standard)...and even bought a book to read. So I am trying. :) My question is: when is the right time to join if we plan on regular attendance? I would love to hear some thoughts! :) How often and for how long is it cool to show up as a guest? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 Does the church offer any sort of new/potential members class? I realize that a church that small might not have anything formal. Most churches I have been to encourage but don't push membership. At my last church, whenever new members were received, the pastor reminded us that membership is not required. :-) We had a membership class whenever someone wanted more information on joining. Some people go for years without joining, though they participate fully, volunteer their time, etc. Of course the church may have a timeline, a point at which they expect people to join if they are attending regularly. I would ask the pastor or another elder/leader what the common practice is, and what membership actually entails. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 If you've read their mission statement and creeds but don't understand everything, could you ask the pastor for more explanation of those parts that you aren't sure of? A pastor of a church that small (my dh is one) would surely love to explain and would have the time to do so. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAttachedMama Posted January 2, 2019 Author Share Posted January 2, 2019 No, there is not a new member class. It is a very small and quaint church. (One thing that I like about it!) The pastor hasn't been pushy with asking us to become members or anything. He hasn't brought it up at all. I just remember being told that joining the church is "the right thing to do" as a child. (I don't remember who told me that even!) I am wondering at what point someone is supposed to know it is the right time to join. When do I bring it up in other words? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 I think you bring it up when you’re fully aligned, and you won’t know whether you are until you know the church’s teachings. What denomination is it? Maybe someone here would be able to give you an overview that would make more sense to you than what you have seen already. I do think it would be good to talk with the pastor about this, but I also understand that sometimes getting to the point of having good questions to ask is a good thing to do before approaching him. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EMS83 Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 (edited) I went to a couple of different Baptist churches for around 9 cumulative years and was never a member at either one. Edited January 2, 2019 by CES2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 I think that if you are thinking about it now, meet with the pastor or elder. Tell them your church history and that you are new to this denomination but think you are interested in joining. I would imagine a church with 30 people may handle things slightly differently than a church in the same denomination with 500 people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmseB Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 I think you can show up as a guest as long as you want. Other than that, it will depend on what the church believes to be true about membership and what you believe to be true about membership. We move a lot and join a new church as soon as reasonably possible after a move because we believe that the local church is the mechanism God has for spiritual accountability and authority over the family. The vows of church membership reflect this. So we are subject to church discipline, teaching, etc., via the elders of the church, the elders are accountable to the regional presbytery, who are accountable to the general assembly of our denomination. But I went to a non-denominational (large) church as a kid that didn't even have membership and so I didn't grow up thinking anything of it until after we joined our current denomination. 15 years later I wouldn't want to be without the accountability and protection of church membership, but that also depends on the denomination and particular vows taken and what the church views as their responsibilities to members. Anyway, I kind of digress, but my point is that it will vary from denomination to church. You should ask an elder or a pastor about what the process is for joining and see how it aligns with what you believe about church membership and work from there. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 56 minutes ago, Patty Joanna said: My point is not about the creeds or confessions or the systematic theology--that's a completely different thread--but that while you can look at a website and find out what churches SAY they believe, it is probably more realistic and clarifying to sit down with the pastor or another leader of the church and talk through what it is that is actually *taught* and believed among the people. I have also found that it is helpful to find out why a particular group exists at all. Sometimes a small church forms organically, sometimes it is a result of a disagreement with and split from another body. That history can tell you a lot about why the group exists. I hope I didn't rattle on too long. :0) I completely agree with the bolded. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted January 3, 2019 Share Posted January 3, 2019 It really depends on the denomination. In the mainline protestant churches you can attend forever and not join. Other denominations want you to join and make a big deal of it. Others don't push you to join but you can't partake of the sacraments there if you don't join. So it really does depend. Can you give us an idea of the denomination? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bootsie Posted January 3, 2019 Share Posted January 3, 2019 What will be required to join the church and exactly what church membership means will vary greatly from denomination to denomination. I, too, suggest talking to the minister if you are not clear what membership would entail at this particular church. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted January 3, 2019 Share Posted January 3, 2019 (edited) We have been at our new church for 9 months and I have to tell you, it has been refreshing to just GO and not become members or participate. I am burnt out! We are still officially members of the church we haven't gone to in 18 months, but..... In the past month we have run into 2 other families from our former church who have also started coming! Edited January 3, 2019 by DawnM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted January 3, 2019 Share Posted January 3, 2019 I agree with PattyJoanna and ------ said. What they say they believe in and what is actually taught from the pulpit or believed by others can be very different. Also, statements of faith do not take into account the culture of a particular church. I would give it some more time and I would also encourage you to speak with the pastor too. Good luck. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted January 3, 2019 Share Posted January 3, 2019 It's difficult to answer, because different denominations have quite differing ideas about what it means to "join". Sometimes it's just a way to be on an email list - they cnsider anyone who wants to be a member a member. In other cases, it has a lot of significance. And it may depend on where you are coming from as well, what they require. But in any case, I'd not join in any official way unless I thought I was going to make a commitment to be there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lulalu Posted January 3, 2019 Share Posted January 3, 2019 Generally speaking- if you agree fully with all the denomination's theology then membership should follow within a few years in my mind. I think you need at least a year to really get to know the local church, even if you agree with the denomination. The pastor and other members will take time to get to know and see how they handle and react to things. I view it as a marriage- sure some people marry a month after meeting. But most people take time to see the future spouse in all kinds of environments and situations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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