I'm giving up Minimalism

[Soror]

I've always strived to have less. I've had the motto if I couldn't fit things then I just had too much and had to get rid of things. I cry uncle. Sometimes it is nice to have some storage. My house is a decent size - 2800- for the 6 of us (1750 up and 1050 down) but I have no storage closets upstairs at all. No linen closet, no bathroom closet, no coat closet and my bedroom closets are all small- mine is the biggest at 5x5 for both dh and 1- 2 kids have 5x2, one 3x3 and the other just the space under the stairs. I have 1 closet in the basement- it is 6x6 and home to a ginormous safe (5x3)- along with all the hand-me-downs, camping supplies, decorations, and an assortment of old odds and ends, it is a masterpiece of Tetris that I've been able to fit as much as I have in there! We have 1 small shet outdoors (10x12), no garage, 1 utility room that is bursting at the seems w/ tools and home supplies and the shed is full of outdoor tools, more camping supplies, dh's bee supplies, gardening supplies, and misc. There is NO MORE ROOM!!! I'm so done with having things spread out here and there. And with more of us we just have more stuff, add in any hobbies and I've been scrambling with where the heck to put it. 

I got a new(to me) desk and cabinet for Christmas and the choirs sang, it is so nice to have a place to put things. I had my paperwork & business supplies in 3 different locations b/c I didn't have the space to put them all together. And I was able to move the shelf I did have upstairs down and suddenly I have some space for my books- that have been crammed in cabinets. 

This fall we had so many changes- I started working part-time at home (but nearly every day) and getting up really early (usually 3:30-3:45) so I had less time and energy and my oldest 2 went to school leaving my biggest mess makers at home with my biggest helpers gone and DH started college so he wasn't much help at all. I've felt like I've been just trying to keep my head above water and keep the mess somewhat contained, not very successfully. So, everything technically has a spot but some stuff is crammed in b/c there isn't enough space and some things are sprawled out here and there b/c I can't fit it in one location, which means things can fall apart way too easily. Like, my linen supplies - part is stored in a dresser at the end of my hall- part under my bed- and part on the shelves above the washer and dryer.

So, I'm on the hunt for (used) furniture this year- I'm making a list! Next,  Dd2 is getting an old dresser from MIL, she has one that just fits her small space, her clothes are perpetually all over the place because she doesn't have enough room in her 2 small plastic cabinets in her closet. It is not a great or pretty dresser but w/ some leftover paint I have on hand and some new knobs it will do nicely.

Also on my list- I'll have to have patience to both find and afford things (although I'm only looking for good deals for used things- I'm really hoping by the end of next year to have the house much better organized.

dresser for ds- he is in the same situation as dd2 but nearly full grown so his clothes are bigger and evidently has an allergy to hanging clothes. 

small cabinet for sewing and craft supplies. Sewing is stashed in a drawer in a cabinet in the kitchen, material in a storage ottoman in the living room and craft is in the school cabinet. I've got a perfect spot on the wall in dining room where sewing is done anyway- now to find something that is the right size to fit it and cheap enough for my budget.

bathroom cabinet- dh rehabbed an old dresser for my main bathroom but the drawers work horribly- so they aren't really used- and I have space for a bigger cabinet. Right now the towels are on a very small shelf in the corner, where they don't really fit and my countertop is often full of miscellaneous because there is no where to put it- and I have 2 girls upstairs who will just have more and more things. This will take some time to find but I've seen some great deals on used cabinets from people doing remodels. 

The big wishlist item:

a cabinet for the bathroom downstairs- it is my own "bigger" bathroom but only has a tiny 2 ft cabinet b/c that is what we could afford when we finished it. I have space for at least a 7 ft cabinet. I want part of it to go from floor to ceiling- then I could have a space for infrequently used linens- awwww! ) and a nice long cabinet. 

______________________________________

These are all the small inside things. We've got to build some outside storage. Dh has inherited all the outdoor equipment (including tractor and accompanying parts) and lots and lots of tools but we have utterly nowhere to put it all. We will have to build a shop building/barn to hold it but that is big money that we don't have. Hopefully, I can continue my job and we can get some money to tackle that project.

Best laid plans and all of that but at least I'm getting an idea of how to put it together!

Edited December 23, 2018 by soror

[Guest]

I hear ya. 

I often think minimalism can be at odds with other values, like thrift or caring for the environment. I have a cabinet in my basement that holds a lot of party supplies, including a whole lot of non-disposable plates, beverage dispensers, food warmers, etc. These don’t get used extremely often - usually two-three times yearly - but when I need them, I need them, and it would stink to have to re-buy those things all over again and it would stink to buy a bunch of disposable stuff that doesn’t work that well anyway. 

Right now, my home office despately needs a file cabinet and some other organizers. I abruptly moved all my office essentials to my house in October (from my MIL’s house) and there are files stacked on the floor because I have no file cabinet for them. It’s the most unworkable nonsense. So I definitely get you. 

[SamanthaCarter]

Yeah, sounds like minimalism is not a need for your family. Good storage is wonderful! Plus, as you organize things into storage furniture, you WILL find things to cull. Win win. 

Edited December 23, 2018 by SamanthaCarter

[SamanthaCarter]

Minimalism, while I subscribe to it for space and sanity’s sake, and because it’s kind of my own nature, can be an idol for some. Or virtue signaling. Or both. 

[Soror]

2 minutes ago, SamanthaCarter said:

Yeah, sounds like minimalism hasn’t worked for your family. Good storage is wonderful! Plus, as you organize things into storage furniture, you WILL find things to cull. Win win. 

I'm always, always culling things! It is a joke w/ my friends. They think I'm exaggerating and one friend I hadn't seen in awhile couldn't believe that I was having trouble keeping things organized b/c I have less clutter than any of my friends but we're at a breaking point. Bigger kids, bigger things, Hobbies necessitating at least some space- a new job and college for dh requiring space.

4 minutes ago, Quill said:

I hear ya. 

I often think minimalism can be at odds with other values, like thrift or caring for the environment. I have a cabinet in my basement that holds a lot of party supplies, including a whole lot of non-disposable plates, beverage dispensers, food warmers, etc. These don’t get used extremely often - usually two-three times yearly - but when I need them, I need them, and it would stink to have to re-buy those things all over again and it would stink to buy a bunch of disposable stuff that doesn’t work that well anyway. 

Right now, my home office despately needs a file cabinet and some other organizers. I abruptly moved all my office essentials to my house in October (from my MIL’s house) and there are files stacked on the floor because I have no file cabinet for them. It’s the most unworkable nonsense. So I definitely get you. 

1

That's true- like the clothes in the closet I'm storing- I could really open up space to get rid of it but then I'd have to constantly rebuy, the same with decorations although I'm pretty sparse- it still takes up some room- I have but 1!!! tote for all seasonal decorations (christmas included) I don't have much really at all but it has to go somewhere. I bet you are stressing w/ the files everywhere- hopefully you find a filing cabinet soon.

[Pawz4me]

I think it's often not productive to strive to be something you aren't naturally, or that for whatever reason doesn't fit your lifestyle (or your family's).

I happen to be a natural minimalist. It's as easy for me as breathing. There are many things I am not naturally, and most aren't worth the stress to me to try to achieve.

To thine own self be true.

[Hikin' Mama]

I tend toward minimalism, but my dh likes to keep all.the.things. We have to have some sort of balance, so I hear ya on the storage space. Fortunately, we have some good storage, but I am always going through stuff, culling, and reorganizing. I know I have a problem, but I don't focus well when things aren't organized. It is a joke in our family that Dad wants to keep everything and Mom wants to get rid of everything. It is not a joke that every time my husband can't find something of his, he accuses me of giving it away.

[HS Mom in NC]

Minimalism is a tool like a hammer or a saucepan or a needle.   Either it serves well the job you're doing or it doesn't.  Use what works for you to enrich your life in a way that resonates with you.

[DesertBlossom]

I am a wannabe minimalist but find it impossible with 8 (almost 9) people in our family. I keep hand me down clothes because it doesn't make sense to re buy everything a couple years down the road for younger siblings. Camping with so many people requires a whole lot of stuff. DH has a lot of tools, which while they don't get constant use, are incredibly useful for household maintainance and projects. Add in homeschooling and we're just never gonna be minimalists. Even just running a household requires a lot of stuff. 

I do get rid of a lot of stuff and I always have a bag in the closet that I stick stuff for my next run to Goodwill to donate. I get rid of things as we quit needing them. I am not a hoarder and I do not hold on to unnecessary things. In fact, I probably get rid of too much. I wish I was better at keeping things organized. But still, we have a lot of stuff!

 

[Soror]

 

15 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:

I think it's often not productive to strive to be something you aren't naturally, or that for whatever reason doesn't fit your lifestyle (or your family's).

I happen to be a natural minimalist. It's as easy for me as breathing. There are many things I am not naturally, and most aren't worth the stress to me to try to achieve.

To thine own self be true.

I am naturally a minimalist and it has come naturally for me, it wasn't me trying to be something I'm not. I've strived to be minimal since we've been married, going on 20 yrs now. I LOVE things being organized, I love having just what I need and not going through a bunch of junk.  But at this current point in our life it is not going to look like it did when we had no kids or 2 kids, or all smaller kids. I guess that's it, I haven't changed my expectations for our lifestyle. The kids are bigger, their clothes are bigger, of course the shelves that did hold their clothes will no longer work and we've added things in our lfe and even trying to be mindful there are some things required. More beds, require more linens. As the kids get older I have more books for homeschooling because I have younger ones too. Bigger kids need bigger bikes, bigger sleeping bags, and back-packs. Dh does all the work around the house- plumbing, electrical, general repair, automotive so that takes supplies and places for those supplies somewhere- which if we hired everything out we wouldn't need.

[mommyoffive]

1 hour ago, soror said:

 

I am naturally a minimalist and it has come naturally for me, it wasn't me trying to be something I'm not. I've strived to be minimal since we've been married, going on 20 yrs now. I LOVE things being organized, I love having just what I need and not going through a bunch of junk.  But at this current point in our life it is not going to look like it did when we had no kids or 2 kids, or all smaller kids. I guess that's it, I haven't changed my expectations for our lifestyle. The kids are bigger, their clothes are bigger, of course the shelves that did hold their clothes will no longer work and we've added things in our lfe and even trying to be mindful there are some things required. More beds, require more linens. As the kids get older I have more books for homeschooling because I have younger ones too. Bigger kids need bigger bikes, bigger sleeping bags, and back-packs. Dh does all the work around the house- plumbing, electrical, general repair, automotive so that takes supplies and places for those supplies somewhere- which if we hired everything out we wouldn't need.

 

Totally agreed.  When the kids are babies their shoes are so small.  When they are 12 they have 8.5 womens shoe size.  It is so much different.  Plus I live in an area with 4 seasons.  So you need clothes for all that.  

And like everyone says, it makes no sense to get rid of all the clothes that you need for younger siblings.  

Do what works for your family in this phase. Maybe you can go back to not having tons of stuff when they all leave.  

Glad to hear working is still doing great for you and you are getting so many hours. 

[KungFuPanda]

My bedroom is a good size but the closet is small. I’m considering hanging a curtain across an entire wall and using the 2 1/2-3 feet behind it as closed storage. It’ll close the room in a little, but the only thing that needs to be out is the bed and nightstands and who needs extra floor space in a MBR? Right now I can see a dresser, lingerie chest, a valet, and two bookcases all piled with stuff. It’s visually annoying. 

[HS Mom in NC]

Minimalist is about avoiding excess and there are different degrees of that.  That looks different for different people because families and lifestyles are so different.  It's can also be applied in a more compartmentalized way. Some people may choose to be minimalist in one aspect of their lives but have more excess in other aspects. For example, I have more meals in my freezer and stuff in my pantry than most minimalists would, but I do a lot of meal prep and freezer storage for those days I'd otherwise eat out.  I also live in an area that's affected by natural disasters one season a year and power outages year round, so having extra stored away matters.  When it comes to most other things, including my quilting, I keep far less than most do.  I only buy fabric for current projects, I don't have a fabric stash that perpetually accumulates. I had a lot more stuff in my house when I had 3 homeschooled kids in the house because that's how life works.

[mom2scouts]

I don't really think you're giving up on minimalism. The point isn't to have the least amount of stuff or the emptiest space. The point is not to have a bunch of stuff you don't use or much more of something than you'll ever need. Even if you only need something a couple of times a year, it's still something that has use and value for you.

[forty-two]

7 hours ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

Minimalism is a tool like a hammer or a saucepan or a needle.   Either it serves well the job you're doing or it doesn't.  Use what works for you to enrich your life in a way that resonates with you.

I don't disagree - I think minimalism as a tool is a good way to consider it - but it seems to me that often minimalist gurus treat minimalism as a path to ethical living, or as an ultimate goal in itself.   (It's like how unschooling can be just a schooling method or can be a whole philosophy of life or anywhere in between, but most of the vocal adherents are on the "path to ethical living" side of things.)  I mean, heck, even the phrase "minimalist guru" says more "conveying wisdom for living a good life" than "a specific technique to use where helpful".

[nevergiveup]

Well, we are do-it-yourselfers to the nth degree so we have to have tools and supplies to do it all ourselves.

I mean seriously--mechanics, carpentry, gardening, excavation, electricity, cooking/canning, upholstery, caning, painting, plowing, plumbing, you name it.

No such thing as minimalism here. 

[Guest]

11 hours ago, Seasider too said:

 

I don’t feel that minimalism means starkly having a minimal amount of things. I believe a better interpretation is to not hold onto things that you don’t actually use, and things that sit in prominent areas and clutter your visual (thus mental) feed. 

I think a basement would be great, for storing items such as your dishes. I also prefer reusable to consumable. A cabinet, neatly organized, with doors that close, s certainly fits into my personal definition of minimalist. 

Right, but consider: the tiny house movement has grown out of minimalism. People who actually live in a tiny house do start to see disadvantages with the minimalism they adopted to do tiny living. (See this for example.) 

I don’t know...I’m not aiming to argue about what minimalism is or is not. But usually there’s “encouragement” from the stark-and-empty gurus to get rid of all the things. 

[Katy]

There are huge problems with minimalism.  I highly suggest that starting in mid January you check out the estate and moving sales in the nicest neighborhoods in your area.  If you go on the last day of each sale, at the end of the day, you'll probably find all the furniture you want (including inexpensive cabinets, armoires, dressers, etc) for 50% off of the first day price.  If you're picky it might take you a couple of years to find exactly what you want in exactly the styles you want.  If you're flexible about styles you can probably find something functional but ugly to fit every need for less than $200 in two months.

[Carrie12345]

There are lots of degrees in between messy junk hoarder and minimalist! No one has to chose one or the other.

I'm on a major purge right now, but I'll never be a real minimalist. We're back to being 6 full time residents (4 are adult sized) with 1 part-time young adult in 1100sf. No attic, no basement, no garage, and very few closets (one houses the washer and dryer.) We do have a 12x16 shed, but we have to be careful about what we store in there. This year has been so damp in our area that everyone has mold issues.

I like most of my stuff. It just needs to be organized better and maintained regularly. And I have to be more honest about the junk that doesn't serve any real purpose.

I've been watching Clutterbug on YouTube, and she has some great organizing tips.  Not all of them work in a space as small as mine, but some do!

[HS Mom in NC]

11 hours ago, Quill said:

Right, but consider: the tiny house movement has grown out of minimalism. People who actually live in a tiny house do start to see disadvantages with the minimalism they adopted to do tiny living. (See this for example.) 

I don’t know...I’m not aiming to argue about what minimalism is or is not. But usually there’s “encouragement” from the stark-and-empty gurus to get rid of all the things. 

Gurus get to be so by making a name for themselves, which is usually accomplished by being radical.  They make for good press and good click bait.  Most people are looking for more moderate versions of things whether it's diet, religion, budgeting, homeschooling, etc. So most people will look at where they are, then the extreme opposite, and then find a comfortable spot somewhere in between. The extremes are very useful because they answer the questions, "How far could a person take this and what does that look like?" and "How exactly do people accomplish that radical version and is there anything in all that that might apply to me?"

Many of these things work for a season in life.  If you're a single, very outdoorsey person wanting to be nature every waking hour you're not doing paid work, then a tiny home might be an excellent fit for you until you get married and/or start a family.  If you're single and starting an incredibly demanding career where you work all your waking hours and only need a place to sleep and shower because after work you're networking at dining events into the wee hours of morning, a tiny home might just fit the bill until you're established in a higher position with some leisure time.  If you're doing gig work and moving from place to place on a crazy tight budget, or you just want some continuity without the restrictions of lease agreements, a tiny home might appeal to you. If you're into no debt living and are willing to add on as more family members come along, carefully choosing a tiny home that lends itself to a few building phases that eventually result in a small house could work well.